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  1. #1
    Benji's Avatar

    Knot
    Theo
    Occultation
    Knot

    Nimbus
    Knot appears, for a moment, as a marionette, roughly carved from wood and painted in a facsimile of life, bound up in a spiderweb tangle of it's own strings, that are pulled every-which way by unseen hands.
    Theo

    Mask of Tranquility
    Striking Looks (Roguish Good Looks) 2

    I was linked to a board where there's a bunch of RPG stuff, and this Document caught my eye. I'm not saying that anyone here needs this, but I personally am going to try and follow as much of this as I can, since I've noticed that my posts are getting shorter and shorter, as well as less... attractive in my opinion. Maybe it will help you and maybe it won't, but I don't see any reason to keep this info a secret.

    QuoteQuote:
    Writing Like An Intermediate/Advanced RP'er

    It is obvious that there is a certain standard you must adhere to for intermediate/advanced RPG boards. You know that writing a post on an intermediate/advanced RPG board is like writing a little novella. It has to be rich in detail, descriptions of surroundings, people and thoughts, but also with dialogue; good interesting dialogue. This is what to do to RP at an intermediate/advanced RPG.

    However, what you may not know, or are struggling with, or maybe just in need of a little reference, is how to RP like this. The aim of this documentation is to provide tips on how to achieve this combination of requirements in order to create an intermediate/advanced post. Hopefully after reading, you will have an even better idea as to what makes an interesting and exciting post that captures attention and demands to be read.

    The following are all possible ways in which to improve your writing. However, overuse of these techniques can spoil the effect they are trying to achieve. The judgement of how much and often you use each technique will come with time and perseverance, and of course, feedback, listen to the advice of your readers, it's invaluable.

    Planning
    You'd be surprised just how much it helps to jot down what the main points of your post is going to be. You could layout out the rough content of the paragraphs, or you could write the thoughts, actions and speech you character may use, whatever is helpful.

    Use More Descriptive Language
    While you must leave some things up to the reader’s imagination, that’s not to say that you should abandon them in a text filled only with dialogue and nouns, leaving them to think up complete descriptions of things themselves. It is supposed to be you telling the story, not them. So,

    Don’t:
    Eleanor looked at the dress laid before her as it rested upon her bed. She picked it up and looked at it for what seemed like hours. Her eyes flicked across it over and over, absorbing every detail.

    ‘Well?’ he finally asked, ‘Do you not like it?’
    ‘Oh no! I love it!’ she exclaimed, waving her hand in dismissal of the suggestion.

    Do:
    Eleanor looked at the shimmering dress laid gently before her as it rested on her soft bed. Yet then she picked it up and looked at it for what seemed like hours, a look of surprised delight resting upon her face. Her eyes flicked across it over and over, absorbing every detail. It was a silky and delicate green, sparkling and shining in the light.

    ‘Well?’ he finally asked, a doubtful look upon his face, ‘Do you not like it, is it the colour?’
    ‘Oh no! I love it!’ she exclaimed excitedly, waving her hand in polite dismissal of the suggestion.

    Make Use of Similes, Metaphors and Personification
    A simile is like a comparison, often making use of the word ‘like’ or ‘as’. E.g. ‘The colour is like that of a raspberry.’ A metaphor is when one thing is said to be another in order to achieve a greater effect or emphasis. E.g. ‘Her eyes are windows to her soul.’ The eyes aren’t really windows, but this does create a more interesting sentence than simply naming the colour or shape of the eyes. Personification is when you apply (usually) human traits/abilities (etc.) to something that is not human, again to make things more interesting. E.g. ‘The cold clawed at them with its icy nails.’

    Don’t:
    The hot sun burnt their skin as they walked through the scorching desert.

    Do:
    The sun’s gaze was harsh and unrelenting, beating upon their shoulders like a red-hot whip. The desert was a hell from which they would never escape.

    Don’t Reveal Everything At Once
    In order to keep people engrossed in the story you lay before them, you should not hand everything to them on a silver platter. That is, if you have introduced a new scene, or a new person, don’t just reel off everything about them. Instead, reveal bit by bit throughout the paragraph, page, or even post.

    E.g.

    Don’t:
    Eleanor entered the room, she wore a long, white dress that hung to the floor and her light hair lay gently upon her shoulders as she looked at him with blue eyes. She had been in the gardens, singing with the birds, such a beautiful voice she had. She was tired and needed to sleep, such a long day it had been.

    Do:
    A gentle knock there was upon the wooden door, yet no answer could he give before it creaked slowly open upon its hinges. A pale hand reached around it and followed a vision of white entering gracefully as if borne in by angel’s wings. Unhurriedly, she closed the door behind her as if she was somehow unwilling to shut out nature, unwilling to place a divide between them as the birds still sang their songs outside, pleading for her to sing to them just once more. Then her eyes turned to his, a knowing glance she cast upon him, looking without permission but unhindered into his soul. They were as circles of blue staring at him, focusing on his true thoughts, his deep desires. A smile stretched across her lips as she walked closer to him, her dress brushing lightly across the floor.

    ‘Eleanor-,’
    ‘Shhh, my love.’ She soothed, her voice tender and calm like the first morning rays of the sunrise.

    Try Phrasing Things In Different Ways
    Often, a sentence sounds much more interesting when said in a different way. Hard to explain without examples so here goes. Sometimes one way will sound better than the other, so once you get used to changing the sentence around, you can decide for each case, which sounds better (Hint: a lot of the time, you are changing from active to passive sentences and vice versa).

    The arrow pierced his heart, mortally wounding him. ---> He was mortally wounded by the arrow that pierced his heart.
    He ran to save her as fast as he could. ---> To save her he ran as fast as he could

    Try to Avoid Unwanted Repetition
    Some repetition is ok, when it is intentional and sounds good. ‘The world hated him, she hated him, and most of all he hated himself.’ However, when you look over your post and notice that you have used the same adjective several times when describing your settings, characters and thoughts, or even worse, if you have repeated similes and metaphors, then you know you need to revise a little.

    It doesn’t take too long to use a thesaurus or take a moment to think of a different word, but it does make the post look better by far. Obviously you can’t avoid repeating some things, just try and keep it minimal!

    Make Dialogue More Than Idle Chat and React To Actions
    Really get into your character, think you are your character when you post. Pretend what the other person has posted, what they have said to your character, they have said to you. If you were that character, how would you react? You react in some way to everything that is said and done to you, so why should you ignore dialogue and actions in your post?

    So, try to get a reaction appropriate for you character, don’t move out of character. One of the worst things you can do is act out of character and make your profile meaningless.

    Two Main Reactions
    React physically or mentally or both! Think of your character as an actual person, and as a person, they will be happy, angry etc. sometimes they might lash out, or even plant a kiss. Either way, make sure you react, keep things interesting, and make the thread more like one flowing story as opposed to two or more people fighting for their own stories, and not reacting to one another.

    Afterthoughts
    Don’t forget at the end of the post, your character’s afterthoughts. From all the actions and reactions, how do they feel? Has their opinion changed about the other character(s)? What are they now thinking?

    With all of the above, you should get a good idea on how you can make those intermediate/advanced RPs you're after!

    'Writing Like An Intermediate/Advanced RPer' written by Andy of http://rpg-directory.com
    no offense but do i look like i understand anything?

  2. #2
    Premsyl's Avatar


    QuoteQuote:
    ...A gentle knock there was upon the wooden door, yet no answer could he give before it creaked slowly open upon its hinges...
    I lol'd at this.

    It's an interesting guideline, that's for sure.

  3. #3
    Benji's Avatar

    Knot
    Theo
    Occultation
    Knot

    Nimbus
    Knot appears, for a moment, as a marionette, roughly carved from wood and painted in a facsimile of life, bound up in a spiderweb tangle of it's own strings, that are pulled every-which way by unseen hands.
    Theo

    Mask of Tranquility
    Striking Looks (Roguish Good Looks) 2



    The information posted above is like pepper or soy sauce. Season to taste.
    no offense but do i look like i understand anything?

  4. #4
    West's Avatar

    Magical Chinchilla
    Star Scenes

    Good advice. IMO, reaction and internalization is what I value over adjectives & metaphors. I'd rather read sincere austerity than flowery contrivance.

    By this I mean, reaction is critical. React to what others write. It invests you in them, and your response invests them in you.

    Internalize? Oh yeah. It keeps you from the dreaded 'one-liner' and develops your character, for your readers and yourself.

    Again, good advice, all of it. Thanks for sharing!
    Don't hate the player, hate the game.
    The Zeroth Law & the Burden of InteractionThe Devil is in the DotsGreat ExpectationsPlaying MagePlayer Run Plots
    If you have a question about your character, please post it on your character sheet

  5. #5
    Frost's Avatar


    I think it is very good advise as well, however it is also correct in saying if you use this too much you will end up with a very long winded post. Sometimes those kinds of posts are murder to get through.

    I agree with West on internalizing and reacting. When I write a post I try to "get into" my characters head so I can think like her and react the way she would. I also try to use descriptive posting as much as possible without going overboard.
    If we shadows have offended
    Think but this, and all is mended......

  6. #6
    Benji's Avatar

    Knot
    Theo
    Occultation
    Knot

    Nimbus
    Knot appears, for a moment, as a marionette, roughly carved from wood and painted in a facsimile of life, bound up in a spiderweb tangle of it's own strings, that are pulled every-which way by unseen hands.
    Theo

    Mask of Tranquility
    Striking Looks (Roguish Good Looks) 2

    There's a reason I didn't post the "How to post pretentiously" essay. I think a paragraph (4 to 7 sentences) of reactions (maybe two if there has been a lot of posting between your last post and this one) and a paragraph of your actions would be best. A wall of text would be murder to both read and type.

    How to post pretentiously
    no offense but do i look like i understand anything?

  7. #7
    West's Avatar

    Magical Chinchilla
    Star Scenes

    My god, it's the dean Manifesto... propagating...
    Don't hate the player, hate the game.
    The Zeroth Law & the Burden of InteractionThe Devil is in the DotsGreat ExpectationsPlaying MagePlayer Run Plots
    If you have a question about your character, please post it on your character sheet

  8. #8
    Frost's Avatar


    LOL I was on another RPG NWoD site before I created this one and we had a player who would post like that contantly. I swear it got to the point where I would skim his posts, read the dialogue and move on. I think he wrote that essay!
    If we shadows have offended
    Think but this, and all is mended......

  9. #9
    Benji's Avatar

    Knot
    Theo
    Occultation
    Knot

    Nimbus
    Knot appears, for a moment, as a marionette, roughly carved from wood and painted in a facsimile of life, bound up in a spiderweb tangle of it's own strings, that are pulled every-which way by unseen hands.
    Theo

    Mask of Tranquility
    Striking Looks (Roguish Good Looks) 2

    just practicing my bump and grind

    *hums about his milkshakes and how they bring the boys to the yard

    Damn right, they're better than yours!
    no offense but do i look like i understand anything?

  10. #10
    tsameti's Avatar


    Hm. Need to get back on top of that pretension.

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