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REMEMBER READ AS MUCH AS YOU CAN YOU MAY FIND A THREAD YOU CAN JUMP IN ON, OR ARE SUBTLEY INVITED TO, HAVE FUN, THE STAFF

Mr. Merksamer the owner of DeVons Jewelers was found dead today. Authorities have concluded that this as an accidental hanging. He appears to have been attempting to fix a ceiling fan when he got wrapped in the wiring, kicked the ladder out from beneath him and did not slip free. Authorities have concluded that there was no foul play involved in this.

They do state that it is always good to have a professional make such repairs.

Real Estate burst causing headache for mayor:
by Jeff Brodovsky, Senior Political Correspondent, Sacramento Bee
The crashing real estate market in Sacramento County has caused a unseen wave of issues for the embattled Mayor, Christopher Shiff, as he struggles with plummeting property tax revenues. Already, there has been talk amongst the mayor's staff of cutting police, fire, and ambulatory services in an effort to cut expenses. This has provoke a fierce reaction from the Fire Marshall:

"Oh I see, cut our funding so the Mayor can get a bonus this year. Is that how it works now?"

Unnamed sources within the mayor's office defend the cuts, saying that they are running low on things to save money on, and everyone has to help in these tough economic times.

On the good news side of things, it's a buyer's market. Over 70% of homes purchased in the past two months have been foreclosed, purchased sometimes as low as $80,000. Contrast that with the median home price of a few years ago, $356,000.
Wells Fargo's, a popular bank, PR manager had this to say:
"Please buy. We need to help get this economy going. Buy a house, get a mortgage. The more money in the banks, the faster this economy will flourish."
~~
[i] contributing reporters: Harold Moscovitch and Judy Telmin

An elderly man, (who asked not to be identified), was walking his dog late last night when he stumbled across a wild animal attack. The animal, which the man described as 6 feet tall and having huge teeth, was eating a dead man, before fleeing. The man was later recovered, the body badly burned and much of the flesh eaten off. Police are asking everyone in the northern streets of downtown to be wary for a bear or bear-like creature, which they suspect caused the attack. The victim was Jesse Helmsly, a previously missing person. The Helmsly family would not return calls.

Tonight the club JD Lanes was the scene of a grusome bout of what authorties are calling gang violence tonight. Four patrons were found with massive knife wounds on their bodies and one was missing his head. Authorties later found it in the DJ booth. The manager said he left following a woman with a gun when he suddenly heard something from inside when he attempted to reenter the crowd left in such a rush he was trampled. The owner is at this time in the hospital suffering a brusied Kidney, a broken leg and sprained left wrist.

When questioned the manager was only able to remember this a Woman standing at 5’6, with long black hair and a slim build, pale complextion.

Authorities are still looking for any other patrons to confirm the presence of the gangers. The back door was found open and the officer on scene believes that those responsible left out that door.

Marcus Hallano, a sophomore at the local high school, never made it home from basketball practice. He stayed later than the rest of the team to get in some extra practice before the big game.

"Marcus was my star player," Coach Mark Brannigan, 33, "I sent him to the locker rooms, and that was the last I saw of him."

His parents claim he was not the type to run away. He has a steady girlfriend, is popular and a good student.