"Deeeeeeky! Hellooo? How arrrrrrr hyu?"

"Valerie, hey I-"

"Oh, hyu are there! Ees been so long seens I calls hyu, and I theenk, I wants to talk to my Deeky."

"Listen, I-"
"Weather is so nice here, Deeky. Ees still warm, but no so hot. Derr was de rains this week. Icky ick! I say to Gerald, you make de rains stopp, and he gets his look, like he scared. And he say, p-p-p-please!"

Dicky can only imagine poor Gerald's terror, being asked to stop the rain.

"And then I thinks, silly me. That is Gott's jobs. So I sends him letter."
Did she say God? "But that doesn't-"
"But I must tells hyu, I have visitor last night. Hyu never guess who visit me!"

"Lord Ernquist?"
"Deeeeeeeeeky! Hyu is de psychic! Hyu see, our blott is so goot! You telephone psychic now! I tell everyones you make new Deeeescipline with our blotts!"

"No, God no. Valerie, don't. I'm not psychic, Ernquist is the only guy who ever visits you." The only Kindred batshit crazy enough to still be friends with her.

"Oh." She sounds terribly disappointed for a moment, then forgets the thought entirely. Cheerful again, she relays Ernquist' conversation. "Well enywayss, Meester Ernquist, he ask me how you arrrr, and I say you is good. He say hello to you Deeky."
"Yup. Tell him I said hello back, Val."
"Okays, and then we talks. And hyu know what he says?"
"Do I want to know?"
"He says to me that if you eats on de blekk peeples, you gets the frenzies! You know that?"
"Oh my God, Mom you are SO RACIST! That is SO RACIST!"

...

"What, what? You're all quiet, are you mad at me? You can't be because that was really-"
"Deeky calls me momma."
"What? NO. No I didn't."

"Yes hyu does!"
"NO!"
"My Deeky must watch his diets! He must eat goot! My Deeky-"
Dicky hangs up, dropping the call.