Desideratum

[Asa]

"Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown," Asa answered with a Shakespeare quote.

For all that it could have meant, Asa thought of all the Kindred he'd seen over the decades. Neonate and Elder alike, most shied away from or found the burden of leadership uncomfortable. Prisci, Bishops, Sworn, Hierophants, he'd seen them all. He had yet to formulate a guess as to what Starfire's 'normal' life was like and therefore had no inkling of what she meant by 'power'. Her clothing suggested someone in fashion or even a performer or artist; perhaps it was a professional promotion or recognition she spoke of.

"But?" He offered the question as he circled his fingers around the other wrist, pulling downward slightly to arch her back more. "You believe your pursuits here will help with that acceptance?"

Asa remembered that night, and the stunning Vanessa. The blonde had intrigued him to the point of wanting to play with her more -- not just because of her looks, but the worldly attitude that was just begging to be deconstructed.

"Yes, I took away your silence, and you found your voice. But we did more than that. Before, when I first sat you down. Tell me. How did it feel to have Vanessa on her knees in front of you after she'd been trying to top you at the bar?"

Had she realized she'd had a taste of power? The hand on her thigh slid down and under, then lifted her leg slightly.

"Straddle me."

[Mhairi Ankaa]

Mhairi nods.

Though the wisp knew that Asa had no idea that during one Season in the Cycle that Crown was real.

"Maybe." Mhairi answers as her back arches, and her fingers tingle from the warmth and strength of Asa's grip. "Admitting that I have needs that aren't considered 'normal' in the mainstream - or really by anyone I know in my life," she honestly couldn't think that other Lost would accept this aspect of the Autumn Queen. They all escaped bondage and servitude. To know that a Queen twice over enjoyed going back to something resembling them...Mhairi really didn't think it would do over well. "Has been a big step, at least to me. Then acting on that knowledge - admittance. A bigger step...maybe they're baby steps, and maybe they're not." her voice quiets, her mind trying to order her thoughts, "I've been trying to tip toe, around in my mind about myself, maybe I need to make another leap. Not just think about something, or wish. But act."

"Vanessa was stunning." though that was beyond obvious. "I was shocked that anyone of you payed me any mind. I thought I was going to be a little voyeur at the bar. Sipping my cocktail and burning with envy. Then, to have her approach me?" Mhairi gives a little shake of her head, "But she..lacked something. Which why I didn't..." listen to her. When she tried topping the wisp. "Then to have such a vision on her knees in front of me...to have her enjoy being there." Mhairi shutters out a breath, "It was intoxicating."

Mhairi never thought that something that could happen to her, her was a meek stuttering mess. Always struggling with her nerves, her Fear. It was truly her Desire to be more that spurred her onward, prompting the idea that Fear and Desire were twined together, two sides of the same coin.

His hand moves and the order comes.

The same pleasant shiver travels the length of her spine as she shifts her legs apart, lifting herself, while keeping her hands behind her back was an effort in balance, but something accomplished given time and slow, steady movements.

Mhairi shifts settling as she straddles Asa, leaving her hands behind her back, arching her spine a little, but doing nothing else, but bit her lip and stare out at him, from under the fan of her lashes.

[Asa]

If this conversation had happened earlier -- at Halloween -- there might have been a tell. A hint of a smile or shifting of eyes as the shrike denounced everyone 'in her life'. While another blonde, Sasha, might not completely share her needs, there was probably a greater intersect of understanding there than either realized.

"Envy?" His free hand moved into the hollow of her back arching. "At her appearance, inclusion, or acceptance of herself?" Asa clarified the question.

"But."

The fingers around her wrist tightened for a firmer grasp and he pulled downward, causing her back to arch more and hips to press down and forward against his lap. He could almost feel the warmth grow where their hips met and felt the movement of the corset when she shuddered.

"As intoxicating as that was, this is what you really want." It was a statement rather than question, and his fingers tightened more around her wrists to punctuate. The hand on her back slipped around until fingers caught on the top of her corset and he pulled her forward. He could feel her arms strain and fabric pull tight as he brought her face close to his. "And with your new leap, what would you have done if you had found Vanessa here instead of me?"

[Mhairi Ankaa]

His hand move up her back and Mhairi wonders if he'd try to unlace her corset, or if he's just resting his hand there.

"All of the above." Mhairi admits.

She'd been envious of all the beautiful people, confidant as they talked, knowing who and what they wanted. To know that a bombshell like Vanessa wanted her? Mhairi knew she wasn't ugly, not in Mask or Mien, but her Fear, once a cloying, gnawing, omnipresent thing, was there to make her second guess everything.

A surprised but pleased hiss escapes Mhairi's lips as his tighten his grip, and pulled sharply, causing her back to arch more sharply and her perched position slides down, a blush starts to sped, hearing her cheeks as her body registered the warmth of their joined hips. She shudders, but doesn't writhe.

"Yes." the word escapes on her next breath as his fingers tightened even more.

His hand moves once more, pulling her in the opposite direction, the momentum leaves her dazed. Eyes fluttering she focuses on his face, then on his words.

"I would...I would have seen if she could actually meet my needs, or if my first instincts were right."

[Asa]

Asa could feel the press of warm skin against the back of his fingers that held the corset. If his senses were heightened, he was sure he would also feel the thud of a heartbeat quicken. It was rare for him to do so -- the loud music and constant motion of bodies could easily overwhelm him. He was still close enough to hear her tone and almost the breath of her words.

"And which needs are those?" he asked. "Being restrained? Or submissive?"

His hands tightened and pulled with each question, punctuating them. He remembered tying her up and showing Vanessa the basic ladder of knots that had gone up her arms. His fingers loosened from the corset and he raised his hand to cradle her face; chin in the V between thumb and fingers, palm against her cheek.

"What did you enjoy most about that evening?"

He always enjoyed the exploration of newly awakened desires. Hearing a person speak the words aloud, speaking of things they might never have admitted or even accepted

It was so very mortal.

[Mhairi Ankaa]

Her eyes flutter at the punctuating pulls, "I need the latter." Mhairi admits, letting out tiny puffs of air, her skin's flushed, stained a pleasant pink traveling over the natural pathways, ones that Asa had seen before. "But I do enjoy the former."

Where she would demure, biting her lips and turning her face, as memories flashing, the hold Asa had on her, cradling her face, prevented her from doing so.

For a moment she just enjoys the palm against her check, before she feels herself burning as her mind travels back, wishing desperately that she could demure.

"I..." her mouth is dry as she tries to articulate what exactly she enjoyed most. The night wasn't anything she thought she would be getting into her first venture to the Asylum, there had been so much to chose from between Vanessa and Asa, what happened by the bar, and what had happened once they left, and she became Vanessa's eyes.

A thought comes to her slowly, it wan't anything racy or something that should be what she enjoyed most. But it was, and it let her fall.

"It might be stupid." she starts, her voice soft. "But it really wasn't something we did. It was something you said. When you checked the ropes. Making sure they weren't too tight and gave me my word."

Shrike, for the lovely silver and black she's worn.

[Asa]

"Ah."

Amusement danced in Asa's dark eyes and his lips began to smile again as he felt the tiny movements in his palm of aborted actions. Their relative positions was like a conversation all it's own as he restrained her this time by hand rather than by rope.

"You want to be seen."

It wasn't the only thing she wanted. Her perch on his lap and manipulated body attested to that... but it was what she named as most enjoyed. His maudlin sense of humor was always tickled by Kine that wanted him to look at them, versus the Kindred who shied away from eye contact with a Lord.

"Has it been so very long since anyone has seen you? And do they now that the little shrike has taken wing?"

[Mhairi Ankaa]

Mhairi's lips part, she blinks.

Did she?

She's quite, her body feeling the pleasant burn of it's current position, as she thinks.

She'd wanted more Before. More then long traditions, she just wanted normal. To fade, not into the background, but the normalcy of it all. During....during she burned as a dying star until she was radiant enough to be gifted away, to the golden throng....where she drifted back into the background to promote misfortune, and when she was found she was thrown out. Being noticed as she is now, normally was...bad. But, she had big dreams. Dreams that two different Springs told her to strive for, even knowing that it would lead her into the spotlight.

Ever since her Oath, and the acceptance of the wyrd and the appearance of the Crown on her brow, people have seen that. Even when it wasn't there. She was the Dread Queen, and that bread Fear. They sought to appease her, because they Feared what being the Queen to her Court mean. They wouldn't know that last year she was a stuttering mess, that had to give herself a pep-talk to even make her walk into the Blue Note. Now she's the highest point of the hierarchy, and she knows that all the new Lost will see that, then the Crown, and Mhairi would just disappear.

"No," Mhairi says, stunned at the revelation. "They don't see me. They see my title."

[Asa]

Asa's lips parted, but no words came out as he studied the little shrike's enchanting eyes.

"A monkey's fist, that."

He referred to the round knot that could be made without beginning or end -- but it was his own Danse his thoughts turned to. Peripherally he noticed the curious word she'd used -- title -- but assumed it referred to a professional hierarchy. His own title, or titles, brought the same problem. Most Kindred only saw The Prince. Save for Twist there hadn't been any in years that had seen Asa Clarke. But... he also cultivated that.

It also mad her flight a gilded cage.

"And so the final question is: Which would you rather have? To be seen, or to hold onto your power? Perhaps keeping it isn't nearly as important as seizing it."

Perhaps. More than once he'd nearly walked away. If it weren't for the fear of anarchy and instability he already might have. His title conferred stability and safety, which were precious commodities for an immortal. Asa leaned closer and dipped his chin to nip at the skin of her neck.

"Or perhaps the first person who is willing to see you is the one you can share your... 'needs' with."

[Mhairi Ankaa]

Mhairi's brows furrow, not understanding the reference.

Quickly, his drawl returns and her mind turns to his 'final' question.

"I only...seized it because there was no one else." the Equinox the False-Rick's pride finally getting the best of him, then the countdown as the Equinox was slowly slipping away from them. Knowing that Neither Morgan or Nathan would step up, so it had to be her. "I'd give it away if I could." she admits softly, calmly. "I'd rather be seen." She wanted to just be Mhairi Ankaa, fashionista and lore-thief.

He leans closer, nipping and her eyes flutter, she tries to tilt her head to give him better access.

"And-hmm-who could that be?"

Her lip is bitten.

"You?" she breathes.