Character Concepts (Read 1st Post)

[West]

It sounds okay, but I don't like it.

Specifically, that there's zero here about his Order or why he chose them and your usual tendency to focus way too hard on accessory characters (Nami, Mr. Lopez, Captain's minions, etc). This kinda reads like you're building a regular guy and every now and then you'll remember he can cast spells... but mostly we'll be reading about his son.

Let's play Mage: The Awakening and not Dad: The Parenting

It's fine (and maybe cool) to use being a parent as a focal lens to discover Mage through, but I'm going by your past tendencies with personal secondary characters. Personally I think your best best is to not have any accessory characters so that you can Mage with other Mages, and talk ICly about the things that aren't clicking OOCly.

To be super blunt, David Silver is more of a Mage than this guy reads like he'll be. I know it sounds a little harsh, but we've both got single digit UserIDs :P

[DrDog]

Good criticism, thank you. I've come up with a different idea idea comparison.
Idea one is a personal fitness trainer.
Idea two is a firefighter.
Goal is to be more in line with the Arrow's philosophy of personal improvement and physical excellence. I'll keep working on it, thanks for the suggestions.

[DrDog]

West Still obrimos arrow.
Son of a lawyer, who never liked the word games his mother would try to teach him, instead he focused on hard work and diligence. "don't work clever, work harder." He was never the strongest, nor the fastest, but he kept going when everyone else fell apart. A defensive back in high school, he took a history major in undergrad while preparing for firefighting school. The first 12 places he tried he didn't make the cut, but finally he succeeded in Stockton. He's been fighting fires since for over a decade.
A few months ago went to a forest fire in the mountains, he awakened fighting a forest fire that had jumped the lines and was coming for him and his team. Luck and water seemed to extinguish it just as it was building up to attack.
He was picked up by the arrows after that, taught the basics, and then sent into the firepit that is Sacramento. "You'll get better, and make them stronger. Or you'll fail." He is only marginally "trained" and still is sometimes bewildered by his powers. But if sacramento is a firepit, he can handle fire.
Attribute focus is intelligence, stamina, and Presense, with a low Manipulation.
Skills are athletics and brawl without a fighting style, with academics and persuasion and craft (cooking) rounding out the skillset.
Merits: Debating whether or not to get Giant, will have status: firefighter. (probably 2 dots I think)
Arcana: Force 3, prime 1, and I'm uncertain of my last one. I like a gross/subtle pair, so that left Death, Fate, Spirit, Mind. Mind and death go against the character's basic concept, Spirit is no go because I run many spirit things, and that leaves Fate. Which could work. The other option is a gross/gross pair, in whichcase space or Matter. Space would help teach me more about mage as a whole, while matter/forces is all the rage of "I work on the material world". I personally lean to Fate, but would appreciate comments.

[West]

Sounds much better!

I wouldn't get too wound up about Gross/Subtle. Like Practices, they're flavor text that have absolutely no basis in actual rules. Probably even more so now that Spell Aspect has been leveled across Mastery rather than arbitrary dev choice. Pick a third Arcana that you think you'll use

[White]

"don't work clever, work harder." He was never the strongest, nor the fastest, but he kept going when everyone else fell apart.

Attribute focus is intelligence, stamina, and presence, with a low Manipulation.

DrDog

Why not focus on Resolve instead of Intelligence?

[wilsonns]

Hey there, West.

I couldn't find any message or instruction on how to proceed from now on. How should I do it from now on?

(Sorry, I don't have enough posts to PM you)

[Kelreth]

Growing up the son of a member of a Family was a mixed blessing. The boons were a relatively stable home life, always enough money to cover the bills even if it wasn't enough to have more. The downsides were learning to fight at a young age and being expected to follow in your father's footsteps. Doubly so when you have the build of your father but brains instead of sauve. When books call more than fights and your father is an enforcer, life can be rough. Fighting was a necessity and but not something necessarily enjoy, violence a tool more than a way of life. An effective tool though.

Awakening could have led them down a path of power and greed, easy prey for indoctrination into the Seers of the Throne. Their uncle was and is their saving grace. Secretly a member of the Silver Ladder who preferred to whisper into ears over leading from the front. As far back as they can remember the Uncle has been the moral compass, keeping violence as a tool and slowly teaching the Elemental Path. Nothing to threaten the Veil of course, the Guardians are always watching. But enough to instill a sense of morality and drive into the toon. Now they live a double life, forbidden from joining the Family (A Mystery Play running through the streets is embarrassing), and a member of the Adamantine Arrow. The two ideas "Sleepers Follow" and "Service is Mastery" conflict to form a possibly worrisome.

Their father's profession left its mark though, the underworld an easily home and the day light world a place to behave.

OOC:

I've been bouncing this idea around in my head and chat for a while now. I wanted to do something not entirely stereotypical but pulled back into something only slightly off. I started the concept as an Int/Soc Arrow and it grow into a Phys/Int/Soc Arrow that's a weird merge and growth of Arthur and Garrick.

Not sure if I want to go with a guy or a gal yet.

Critique away, I know the concept needs work still.

[West]

I like it. I see a lot of potential with juggling the concept of Honor from the AA with the upbringing!

[Kelreth]

Follow up question, does any Path stick out? It has shifted between Acanthus and Thyrsus. Actually getting it written down has shifted the toon to be less brawly and more analytical in fighting. So I'm thinking Acanthus now?

[Saber Sloth]

First the obligatory, pick the path who's magic you'd want to cast!

Second, and in no way am I biased. Acanthus are amazingly fun. Fate, Time. What more could you ask for?

Third. I can see how a Thyrsus would present maybe not a dichotomy, but definitely an interesting viewpoint between your character's upbringing, and their connection to the Supernal.