Slowly, over the past year, her personal dreamscape had become a refuge for her. A place she was able to escape her own heartbreak and sadness, push aside the darkness that had creeped into her life.

I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name
Let me stay where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops, as they’re falling, tell a story

In her dream, she was safe, she could drop the mask that she wore day after day, night after night. Always the perfect smile, always upbeat with something positive to say to anyone, always the one to make sure those around her were happy. The mask hid her broken heart and the pain, the loneliness that was now her life.

Don't say I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos, your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape

It never took her long to fall asleep, her body and mind both wanting to be in the dream. Wanting that safe space she had created. And as soon as she would close her eyes, she would open them to see the snow-white beach stretching for miles with no end in sight. The azure waters were boundless, the waves gentle as they caressed the beach with each pass.

And of course, there were bits and pieces of her darkness still present, the broken and rusted cages scattered here and there. They would always be a constant for the Nix, they would never disappear. The dark forest sat ever in the background, no light, sound or color touching its branches that reached high into the sky.

The warm breeze that came off the ocean danced through her hair and dress, almost like it was welcoming her back. Her nose filled with the soft, salty smell that washed over her.

In my field of paper flowers (Ah-ah-ah-ah)
And candy clouds of lullaby (Paper flowers)
I lie inside myself for hours (Ah-ah-ah-ah)
And watch my purple sky fly over me (Paper flowers)

But what she truly desired, what made her return night after night was sitting on the beach. In the same furniture she had manifested the first time he came into her Dream was there.

As was he. In his suit, the one that she always loved on him, the one that still hung in her closet, the red of his dress shirt matching the scarlet flowers grew out of his head, and burst out of his wrists and shins. He had a book in his hands, though his overly large emerald eyes look up and offers a smile that makes her heart beat again.

‘Hello darling.’ He says, closing the book, and setting it aside, an invitation for her to curl up next to him. And she does, melting into his arms and just laying there. A happy, though sad, smile on her lips as she tells him of her day. Nothing important, but how the shop was doing and a particularly annoying customer she had. He never says anything, he simply holds her, makes her feel safe and alive once again.

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of Imaginary light

Night after night she wonders if she ever has to wake up. What’s to stop her from staying within the safety and comfort of her own Dreamscape?

It’s logic.

Logic is what wakes her up every morning. Knowing who she saw in her Dream was not him, it would never be him. She had to accept that he wasn’t coming back. Accept that her life moving forward, was a single, empty one. Her heart would never feel the love it felt with him again. But she could still live her life, could still help others, even if she couldn’t help herself.

The tears are wiped each morning, washed away in the shower as she prepares her mask for the day. Her heart breaking once again knowing it was all a dream. It would always be a dream.

The happy, smiling, social butterfly that was the Nix, the Queen of Spring, the Director of the Freehold, would be once again. With a shaky breath, she touches the engagement ring, now permanently on her right hand and is ready.