‘Without you
And I walk steady on my feet
I talk; my voice obeys me
I go out at night
Sleep without the lights
And I do all of the things I have to
Keeping you off my mind’

The past couple weeks had been stressful to say the least, she had called a company to help her pack up Rhodes’ half of the closet. Each suit placed in a special garment bag to protect them from the elements and temperature changes. She may not know what happened, or if he truly decided to leave her, but she couldn’t bring herself to just throw them away or donate them. No, they would go into her climate-controlled storage unit, which already housed numerous dresses she had designed and sewn by hand.

One suit jacket and shirt had been set aside, in a special garment bag. It had been her favorite jacket and shirt combination Rhodes had worn. The color had been on that had been striking on him.

And he knew it, she thought with a sad chuckle as she ran a hand over it. The material super soft and luxurious in her hands. He only wore the best ones she thinks with a small smile.

The feel of a fabric bringing her a weird sense of peace in this painful and difficult time. Bringing a sleeve to her face, she breathed deeply, inhaling the smell that was Rhodes. Millions of memories, all happy, flooded her mind at once. A sad, but happy smile coming to her lips. They had some good times, times that had helped her change and grow as a person.

Up next was a company to empty the house for her. Every piece of furniture was removed, placed into storage while she worked. And by worked, it meant repainting the whole house, redoing the floors, giving the home a completely new look. The interior had been a mixture of her and Rhodes, their tastes and colors mixing into a beautiful sanctuary for them.

But that wasn’t going to work now. Now it was all about her and creating a place where she felt calm and happy. It was going to be a struggle, but this was her way of moving forward.

At least, she hoped.

Walking into her new master bedroom, she pauses, just taking in the changes.

‘I talk about you now
And go a day without crying
I go out with my friends now
I stay home all alone
I don't see you everywhere
And I can say your name easily
I laugh a bit louder
Without you
And I see different shades now
And I, I'm almost never afraid now
But when I think I'll be okay
I am always wrong, 'cause...’

But the memories would never be changed, never be forgotten never be erased. And she had to embrace them, draw strength from them, and move forward.

'(My hands)
Don't wanna start again
(My hands)
No they don't wanna understand
(My hands)
They just shake it try to break whatever peace I may find
(My hands)
They only agree to hold
(Your hands)
And they don't wanna be without
(Your hands)
And they will not let me go
No, they will not let me go'