(Private)Picking up the pieces

[Seraphina]

Time had gotten away from her after she awoke. She remembered the Dreams, she remembered the pain and of course, the broken Oath. The broken ring still clutched tightly in her hand.

How many hours had she just sat there?

There was a memory of leaving the Tavern to send Sonnie a text, telling her she was at the Tavern and needed her. Sure, she could have called, but she didn’t trust her voice to not completely breakdown.

Seated on the floor, against the bar, she had a bottle of liquor in her hand, a good amount of it gone.

The sight of the Nix would be new to Sonnie, and Sonnie had seen her used as a chew toy for Briar Wolves. Her eyes were sunk in, lips chapped, her hair stringy and lack luster hanging around her face. Sera actually looked frail, sapphires staring ahead, not really seeing anything. Her free hand clutching something tightly to her chest.
Sonnie Wu Abyssalstar

[Sonnie Wu]

The text was so vague, it worried her. Sera's messages were usually more... upbeat? Informative? Sonnie came to the Tavern straight away, even cancelling a class at her dojo. She arrived without her usual casual pace. She burst in, looking around. "Sera?"

Oh, there she was. No threats were evident, so the Beast relaxed a little, but...

This was wrong. The Fairest looked all wrong.

Oh. Shit.

Sonnie tossed her bag aside without a thought and ran over to her friend and Queen, skidding to a halt and kneeling down. "Sera? What... what's going on? Are you..." she stopped herself. Obviously the Treasured was not 'okay.' Don't ask dumb questions.

This is bad. Never seen her like this. Very bad.

She took a breath before asking the real question, her voice soft, "What happened?"

[Seraphina]

Slowly, eyes focus at the sound of Sonnie’s voice, finding her friends face, tears falling.

“I…” she stammered, “I…don’t know…” her voice one of exhaustion and a few drinks.

The clenched fist was shakily held away from her chest and out to her friend, when the hand opened, it held what appeared to be a ring. But it was broken, there was clearly a flower, but it was black and dead. “It’s broken.” She finally gets out, her chest heaving, hand shaking, “He broke it.”

Trembling, tears still streaming down her face, “gone…” she whispers as she hangs her head. In her mind, which was slowly coming around, she knew she needed to make more sense, speak fully. But the pain, it was raw…it was new…and it wasn’t going away.

A deep breath was taken, “Rhodes is gone.” And admitting that broke the flood gates, and Sera completely breaks down. “it…” sobbing, “hurts..” she manages to get out.

[Sonnie Wu]

She stared at Sera for a few moments, then at the ruins of the ring, processing the information. Trying to grasp the situation.

"He's... just gone?" Sonnie couldn't quite comprehend the idea. It didn't seem possible. Rhodes was a lot of things, but he'd never...

But he did.

The Beast sat on the floor next to her friend. She didn't have a lot of experience comforting people in times of despair. None, really. She wanted, needed, to be here for Seraphina, regardless. She dug in a pocket and came up with a little package of kleenex. Teaching snot-nosed kids at the dojo, they were a necessity. She pulled one out and handed it to the Fairest.

Meanwhile, her mind and heart were going through a tornado of thoughts and feelings. Surprise, sympathy, fear, anger.

No Autumn Monarch. No Director. This was bad for the freehold. But she didn't care about that right now. Her concern was on Sera.

"I... um... I dunno what to say." She scrambled to find something. Some phrase that would bring her friend comfort. There was nothing.

"Yeah," Sonnie nodded, "it hurts." All she could do was just be here, and listen.

[Seraphina]

There was a nod as she pulled the ring back to her chest, not letting it go. “I’ve scoured Dream after Dream, night after night, even during the day. I don’t even know how long I’ve been at it or what day it is. Hell, I haven't even been back home. But there is nothing, no trace of him.” Voice cracking with emotion, “And tonight, I felt it.” Hand gesturing to herself, “Like something in me had been shattered, I woke up to the ring broken.” Squeezing the pieces tighter, like she could somehow make it whole again, “But I know he’s gone and he's broken our Vow. I don’t know exactly how, but it’s broken.” She sounded empty, hollow.

Looking at nothing in particular, "Do you think he never meant what he said? That the Oath was a joke, some ploy and he never loved me? I was just a sick joke to him?" desperation creeping into her voice. It was a reach, deep inside she knew it was a reach. But she wasn't exactly thinking clear.

Accepting the tissue with a weak smile, she wiped at her eyes. Not that it really helped, she was a mess.

Another deep breath, shaky, as she collected her thoughts, “Just being here is what I need. I’ve never felt so…” pausing, “alone, empty…” finally, “pissed.” Yeah, there was some anger mixed into her right now. It was like every emotion she could feel was tossed in a blender and dumped into her.

Finally, she looks at Sonnie, “I just needed my best friend.” There was comfort in having her beside her, “Plus, I heard it was bad to drink alone.” Attempt at humor. No one would understand the pain she was going through, so all she could do was turn to humor. Letting the pain wallow deep within.

[Sonnie Wu]

She listened as Sera described the lengths she'd gone to to find Rhodes. All the effort. And all for nothing. It really hammered home to Sonnie that her friend was not overreacting, not that she thought that. She looked at the broken ring when Sera showed it again. A shattered oath.

"Wait, when did he say that?" The Beast honestly didn't recall that ever happening.

There was something in her that twitched, something primal that wanted to run out, find Rhodes and beat him within an inch of his life.

And then go that last inch.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Now wasn't the time for revenge. The Flowering wasn't even around to attack.

Instead, she looked at the Treasured and smiled, "You're not alone, sis. I'm here. I'm not leaving. Vent, drink, do what you want. I'll listen and pour. Then you come and sleep it off at my place. Nothing soothes pain like Fugly cuddles."

[Seraphina]

A gentle shake of her head, “He didn’t say that, but in the back of my mind, I wonder if that’s all it was to him. That he was just playing me, playing with my emotions and then simply got tired of it and tossed me aside.” Her wording wasn’t perfect right now, it was just thoughts turned into words. “Who breaks such an Oath? Was I the only one who gave it my everything?” she sniffles, nose running, “Maybe I was just a joke to him and just not worth it.” It was that last thought that truly hurt the most. Had he never truly loved her? Were all his words lies? They didn’t feel false, they had always felt truthful, but then again, maybe it was supposed to.

“I just don’t know, I feel so lost and just,” pausing, sighing again, “worthless. Like, how could I have stopped this, could I have done something?” Her confidence was shattered. She knew she was beautiful, knew she had a lot to offer. But like everyone, she had self-doubt, and it was on full display right now. “Did I do something wrong? Was I not good enough?” this had to be her fault, right?

A laugh between tears was offered, “Thank you.” There was no one else she would want beside her at this time. Sure, she could have reached out to Circe, but Sonnie had been her friend through a lot. “That actually sounds really good right now, I don’t want to go home.” Was it home? Not really, not right now. Another weak smile, “I bet he gives the best cuddles.”

[Sonnie Wu]

He didn't say that. Okay, so it wasn't her Swiss Cheese-memory at work. Good to know. "Don't do that," she responded. "Don't read into it like that. We don't know his reasons yet. Rhodes... he took this stuff super seriously, right? He taught classes on fae magic and shit. He broke your oath, but..." Wait, was she defending him now? A second ago she was ready to kill him. Sonnie angrily shook her head, like she was shaking away a buzzing fly. "Let's just not jump to conclusions. It won't help you."

The Beast sighed, "You're more than worth it. Sera, you're one of the best people I've ever known. If he had an issue, than he should have said something. The failure to communicate is on him."

The talk of Fugly made her smile, "Absolutely the best cuddles! He's a cuddle machine! And he loves his Auntie Sera!"

[Seraphina]

Even as her world has crumbled around her, and her mind was consumed with all the emotions tied to that, she heard the logic in what Sonnie said. She knew she wasn’t thinking clearly, knew her logic was basically trash. But the words still didn’t hit her, didn’t sink it, were not taken to heart. “I don’t know if we’ll ever know his reasons. Every trace of him is, well, gone. I could always find traces of him in Dreams, there were always pieces here and there. But they’re not there now.”

Deep sigh, “He did, he was very passionate about the occult, Dreams and Pledges, crafting them with ease.” There was the Pledge that her words of love were true. Rhodes having a breakdown from memories, the tears and fear he expressed seemed so genuine. “I’m sorry,” looking to the Beast, “I know in the logical part of my brain you are right. This line of thinking isn’t helping, but, I can’t help it. It’s like the words are on a repeat loop, playing over and over.” How do you stop that?

Nodding again, hearing the truth and logic in the words. Yet it was still there, the self-doubt, questioning every word that was ever said between them. “You think so?” that doubt creeping back into her voice. “This just completely blindsided me, I didn’t see it coming. We were just talking about taking a vacation during the summer, going to Italy, I had it all planned.” The tears falling again, “We were excited about it you know? Taking a break from real life for a bit.” A small smile creeping out at the memory. The memories were still good. "But hell, want to go to Italy with me?" was she serious? Yes.

She had to laugh through the tears, “Sir Fugly is the best at everything he does.” Sonnie was lucky to have him. He wouldn’t break her heart, he wouldn’t lie to her. “Maybe I need to get myself a Fugly.”

[Sonnie Wu]

There was a part of her that realized that if there was simply no trace of Rhodes anywhere, nothing left to find by the woman he was closest to in this world, then he might be...

Dead.

Don't say it. Not to her.

Sonnie shrugged at her friend, "I get it. Insecurities are a difficult monster to slay. It stalks you all the time, hiding just out of sight, and then pounces when the moment is right. I dunno what to do about that. I'm no shrink." It usually wasn't a good idea for Changelings to go anywhere near mental health professionals, no matter how much they might need the help.

She blinked in confusion, not sure if Sera was serious, but then laughed and played along, "Yeah, sure! The home of pizza and spaghetti? I'm there! Oh, also hot Italian people." She tilted her head to one side, in curious thought, "I wonder if Circe knows the good places to visit."