Ghosts of the Past

[Quinn Durant]

She said exactly what was on her mind, without hesitation or giving the response much thought. "That secret is one better left between Janos and I." She said softly, with a wan smile.

She watched him a moment and smirked at his response which turned from vaguely playful to sharp in a matter of seconds. Her emotions churned at his response. It struck a chord with her harshly. It wouldn't have gotten to her perhaps if J.C was still with her. Losing him as an ally hurt more than Quinn cared to admit. She had literally trusted him with her life. She wanted to trust Connor but so far he had given her reasons not to. Red flags that the Shadow could not ignore, and nostalgia wouldn't soothe.

"And there it is..." She whispered dangerously. "You already did state you could do so. I admit, you make a compelling case. I can't say I have never lost my focus in court because I have, but this isn't the only time you have let your emotions best you. When we were in the Urn Garden for example, I thought you would get us all killed. We were outnumbered almost 2 to 1. It was not the appropriate time to ram your title up their collective ass."

There was also the bit with Jack and the First Estate. It was a pickle she feared there was no way out of except to remain neutral to all Covenants and Unaligned. Never having the full home she desired with the Kindred she felt the most respect for in the domain. Add in a healthy dose of Kindred paranoia and she was as testy as a dog shitting tacks.

[Connor OBrien]

The Haunt nodded once. "Then it shall." His voice came softly. Her smile was returned before.

The Haunt sighed as he formulated a response. It was true that he felt anger welling up inside himself, but it was also a fair assessment from the Priscus. "I am not going to apologize for doing my duty, but that wasn't the entire reason I did what I did and said what I said. They had insulted you, and by extension the Prince and the Domain. They had already permitted you to leave, and I made it clear that their issue was with me at that point." His face held his stoic, flat expression; something that was also heard in his voice. "There was no better time, and would have been no better time in the future. However," he released Quinn's hand and stepped away from her, "if you feel the desire to return to simply being allies, I won't fault you. I'm difficult, and I know it. It's the reason I steer clear of having any kind of relationship with Kine. You of all people know what the embrace does to our most basic emotions." His shoulders squared as he stood tall waiting for a response from the Priscus; a response that determined if he stayed or left.

[Quinn Durant]

"The voice of Prince Antinori was clear through the instructions of the Seneschal and by no means was that the 'appropriate time' for any of that." Quinn said softly, watching him, calmly, and absolutely matter of fact. "You were called to a temporary coterie to assist in recovering an asset. Period, end of list. You were told to get Milton and Maeve back. Then the Seneschal had to tell me to get you and the others, and I became involved." She paused and tilted her face to the side and batted her eyelashes sarcastically at him. "And now instead of owning that, you wanna try some revisionist history bullshit? Oh honey that's so not cute right now, but please gaslight me some more."

Quinn's eyes narrowed and she looked him up and down, like....say what now? "There is nothing wrong with having a weakness, Connor, but there is a lot wrong with not owning it, and endeavoring to do better when you are called on your shit. To know when to unleash that side, and when to hold it tightly in check. When it does get the better of you it is important to own it completely, and move forward with a plan to where that won't happen as readily again. It's called growth Connor." She paused and shook her head.

"Dirt Nap couldn't admit when he did something wrong either. Neither could Mr. Heinrich, but please....just keep chugging down that path. Really." She threw up her hands incredulously. She then closed her eyes a moment and let out a breath. "I am trying to be honest with you about what I see, and I how I see things, not to ...." she felt at a loss of words and her voice trailed off. "Hurt you....or push you away, but so we can identify and discard things that don't serve our purposes long term and work together towards something better. I expect you to help correct me when I'm going off the rails too. It's not one sided. I'm so far from perfect its not even funny, but I try to do better when my allies give me feedback. Even when its negative."

[Connor OBrien]

The Haunt listened, he gave the woman every chance she needed to speak. And, the longer she spoke, the tighter and tighter he gripped his glass until an audible clink was heard. Anger welled inside the Haunt, anger that she thought she had the right to tell him how or when to deal with his clan, anger that she viewed his explanation as 'gaslighting.' It all grew and threatened to overflow.

2 successes

Date	Action	Roll	Result
2022-01-07 22:35:44	Connor OBrien rolls 5 to Ignore Vice (Willpower) (10 Again)	7, 10, 5, 4, 7, 8	2 successes

But through a deep, shuddering breath he managed to push it all down. Through another, he regained his composure. "I can appreciate... and understand... why you believe I acted at an inappropriate time. However, if I may..." His voice trailed off slightly. "When I arrived, we were set upon by the Arkwright Haunts. It's unfair to me to use a reaction to an unknown factor against me in such a way. You were involved, and you had negotiated release, a release that you were meant to take while I did my thing... but that isn't the heart of the matter. When one is set upon and they fear the return of a larger group, one has the proclivity to do one of two things. Run, or prepare."

Connor sighed and set the now cracked glass on the nearest table. His hands found the table top on either side of the glass and he leaned over it for a moment to collect his thoughts. "If they ran, I would never find them again. I would have failed in my duty as Whip. If they had the chance to prepare... How many Kindred would you have liked me to lead to death before we finally overwhelmed them? I don't mean to discredit what you're saying, but you can't discredit this truth either. There was no appropriate time, there was only a time when I knew where they were, and when I wasn't walking into a trap. You calculate everything you do, Quinn, would you have done any different with these factors in mind?" Then, he stands from the table and turns to the woman.

"And you speak of growth? The fact that you're so close to your humanity is what allows you to ignore your baser emotions so readily. They aren't triggered by the slightest, most insignificant things. I'm angry Quinn, I'm always angry. Angry at the world, angry at my condition... angry at myself. I know my failings and accept them, or do you think I enjoy having to fight the urge to rip someone to shreds at the smallest slight? I find moments of relative bliss within the rage to keep me going, but make no mistake... I am angry." Fingers ran through auburn hair. "I'm not hurt by what you've said, or what you have to say... I'm hurt that you think so little of me that I wouldn't have weighed my options through my rage. I let my memories get the better of me in court, not my emotions, and I would have died in that cemetery before I failed those haunts again. Just like you would have done had they been abandoned Mekhet who needed to be brought back into the fold." With nothing left to say, the Haunt threw his hands into the air in exasperation.

[Quinn Durant]

"I would have felt I had no choice but to table it for later because the Seneschal and Prince gave me an order. It's not about what needs to be done, it's about prioritizing and setting up an approach for later. So stabilizing the immediate conflict, and setting up the tee off for later. Which I felt was accomplished with a little greasing from Mr. Northbridge and I, with the legitimacy of your title as Whip." She paused a moment. "Which Maeve paid the price for. Which is why I didn't hammer her about her use of a noisy firearm. If they hadn't have bounced her face off the ground a few times they may not have been in a mood to share blame. It played in our favor but I don't know what would have happened if Mr. Northbridge and I hadn't intervened."

Quinn's expression softened some as she listened to his theory about why she could deny her dark side. "I think you are confusing the dark side of personality with the beast. It is your connection to what it is to be human that controls the beast, and it is your mind that holds the darker side of your nature at bay." She spoke gently, and wisely. "I have been face to face with my own beast and battled for my very soul through my work in the Dragon's. Don't confuse your guilty pleasure of anger and violence for the beast. That is a completely different ball of wax. The beast wants to destroy you to set itself free, you enjoying anger and violence is still quite human, but when combined with the fight urge of the beast, it can cause a wave of destruction. That's how they are linked, but not controlled." Quinn switched to a recap. Something clicking in her head.

She watched him a long silent moment. "You immediately gave me an ultimatum the second I didn't agree with you. You cannot admit you are wrong even though its clear you are, and are trying to make me go on the defensive. Those are tools to gain control over someone." Quinn tilted her face to the side a bit, something serious in those deep hazel eyes. "Is that what you desire Connor? Control? That's what my gut tells me." She whispered the last softly. "It's why you moved so quickly to control the situation in the Urn Garden, and why even though you weren't sure if I was that enigmatic beauty that reminds you so much of your wife you wouldn't let me escape when I blew you off in court. Even when you knew Twist herself had an interest." She looked to the glass he broke. "You know I respect decisiveness and strength, and you are rather intimidating. I can feel my rational side wanting to agree faster with you because of it. I am sure 8/10 you get away with it." She paused a took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, closing her eyes a moment, before opening them.

"Will you just tell me what has you so afraid?" She asked him, searching his eyes with a solemn expression.

[Connor OBrien]

The Haunt let out an audible sigh. She was right, of course she was, and that ruffled his feathers. "I acted rashly, but I will not apologize for the initial fight. They were already on us before I brought my title into it. I will apologize for jeopardizing the initial mission by pushing after it had been resolved though. I just felt that coming back later was either pointless or too dangerous, and thought I knew best by acting right then and there. I'm sorry, sincerely."

The conversation moved on and Connor looked away as Quinn spoke, not because he wasn't listening, but because of the twinges of guilt he felt about having to be scolded by a Kindred so much younger than himself. She was right, but so was he in this point. "I was an angry person in my mortal life, that's true, but I could control it then. It stayed in the ring. I don't know, perhaps the boxing gave me an outlet that I so desperately need... or perhaps I'm right that by being further detached from my humanity, the beast has found ways to sink its claws in, enough that I can't push them back like I could when I was human... neither of us will know, for no one fully understands our condition." His voice fell quiet and soft as he continued on to her next point. "Yes. I desire to control what I can control. The last time I truly lost control... something bad happened, and it still haunts me in my nightmares. A loss of control is a loss of self, and when you lose yourself... people die." His emerald eyes, which would hold tears if he had any left to shed, find Quinn's. He stays silent for a few moments as he ponders her last question. "An explanation won't do to make you understand... you have to see it... feel it. I'm nine years out of torpor and still memories of my torpid nightmares leave me reeling, grasping for the few remaining things that I can control in what feels like an ever encompassing whirlpool of hate and rage."

[Quinn Durant]

"I never asked you to apologize for the initial fight and protecting yourself. Just asked that you admit you didn't have to press it right then and aggravate the situation further when it was calming down." She said gently, nodding a bit to show they were on the same page. "I am your ally, please remember what we talked about when we decided to try an alliance. Not jumping to the worst scenario about each other's intentions." She paused. "You came into this meeting assuming what I was upset with, without letting me tell you..." she put her hands palm up to show they were empty. As in empty of those intentions.

Quinn smiled a bit at the second. "You literally answered your own riddle. Just now. All I had to do was be the sounding board." She paused. "You need an outlet. There are several I can think of, and I will help you towards that end as your friend and ally. We help each other right? That's the idea." She paused again and shook her head.

"No, Connor. I don't have to take your horror and make it mine to understand. I can empathize just fine without that." She folded her lips under for a moment. "The truth is we jumped into something because our emotions get jangled every time we are near each other. I am not your wife, and you are not Janos. We can't use each other to re-create relationships that we lost through our own decisions. No matter how unfair it all was."

Quinn removed the ring he gave her from her finger, and set it on the table in front of them and stood. "I am your ally, and I hope to become your friend. If you'll let me."

[Connor OBrien]

The Haunt nodded silently at all Quinn had to say. She was right, mostly right at least. His shortcomings weren't up to her to fix or cover. There was work that he had to do.

However, when she removed the ring, he took a deep, shuddering breath; a habit left from his humanity. "You are right about the vast majority of what you've said. You are not Aoefe, and I am not Janos. You reminded me of her, yes... and that's why I pursued you. It isn't why I stayed." The Haunt took the key from his pocket and set it on the table by the door. "Please, enjoy the amenities. There is wine in the refrigerator." Then he turned to leave, stopping a hand on the handle. He looked back over his shoulder to speak. "Keep the ring, I'm going to do everything in my power to make you proud to wear it again. As such, I have some purchases to make... and some work to do. Have a wonderful evening, Priscus Durant." With that, the door opened and closed on the coat tails of the Irishman.

[Quinn Durant]

Served as cold as your heart. Her Sire's voice in her mind. She winced slightly, and it coincided with his words.

Not why I stayed...

Quinn managed a nod, and she didn't press the Haunt further. That was all they had the capacity to cover tonight. She could feel herself shutting down as well, even as she struggled to remain open and receptive as only allies can be. Even when it was tough. Quinn watched him for a moment.

Keep the ring, I'm going to do everything in my power to make you proud to wear it again....

That she had not expected.

She waited an hour or two maybe. She didn't move other than her chest rising and falling with counterfeit life. Eventually she got up and left. She removed all traces of this night from the suite.

Great scene! Thank you.