Private (Spring and Winter)

[Seraphina]

“I think we’ve all learned that letting our guard down is dangerous. That not all of those around us have the best intentions.” It was just ingrained into them. “Well, things had been quiet around here, not a whole lot going on. But, it seems to be picking up again. Not sure if there will be any ridiculous predicaments or not though.” A laugh and wink. “Well, I hope you feel like you can breathe more here. If not, let me know and I’ll throw a party together or something.” Parties were fun, and a good way to relax.

“If you find some, please let me know! I’d love to try them!” but she’d be looking online too. “I keep a pretty decent stock on hand at the shop, so if there’s something you need, I might have it. Or be able to get it for a cheaper price. The company I use is great! All their teas are locally sourced for ingredients.” She went local as much as she could. Laughing, “I’ll look into picking those books up then. I always like reading what someone recommends, such a great way to find a subject you would have never tried before. Especially when they speak so passionately about them.” She’d have to move them to the top of her list.

“I’ve heard Reflections is a very powerful and useful Contract.” How it worked exactly, she didn’t know. “Omens seems useful, but I often question if it grants the user things that were better left unknown.” Some things they were just not supposed to know. “But that could be from my own lack of real understanding about it.” Totally could be.

Then her eyes widen slightly, “Oh, I’m so sorry!” Pain in her voice as she reaches out to gently squeeze the Winters hand if she’ll let her. For once, she wasn’t really sure what to say. “If you ever need anything, I’m here.” That sounded cheesy, but it was all she had. “Um, if it’s not too personal, how long have they been gone?” not expecting an answer, because personal and painful.

“But I understand being more private with the relationship, we kept it private for a while. And still keep a lot of it to ourselves. And it sounds like the Freehold is expecting a huge event.” A shrug, “But if we decide it’s not what we want, then we will keep it more personal.” Pausing, looking at her coffee, “Truth be told? I kinda miss when the only ones who knew about the relationship was him and I. If that makes sense.”

[Cassandra Reeding]

"I certainly do feel that I can breathe around here, though I will never object to a party." It's funny, she used to be so introverted.

"Oh most definitely," Cassandra smiles, excitedly thinking about the candies, "Mm, I shall have to stop by some time and check out your selections then. I am running low on lavender. It mixes so well with chamomile. Perfect for sleep." Every once in a while she felt like it helped with the dreams, but perhaps it was merely placebo. "Ooo, well when you read them, I'd love to discuss them, see what kind of things you pull from it. I always love seeing the perspectives others get from reading."

"They are odd contracts, but if you ever wish to learn, I'd be happy to teach you. They've always felt more innate to me for some reason." She nods a bit at the mention of Omens. It was true that they can reveal some startling things, "That is very true, but sometimes they can show you things that can arm you for the future. Forewarned is forearmed, after all."

Cassandra looks down at the Spring Queens hand and decides to take it, accepting the squeeze of her comparatively warmer hand, "It-it's all right. I mean... I'm not, but I'm surviving." It's hard though, not having your rock. She has to think about it, her lips parting some as she tries to consider how long it has been. She is silent for a moment, "It's been getting close to a year now." It felt weird to share, given that she spent those last few months in Baltimore purposefully not talking about it. Not that it wasn't known. Though, there were certainly things she'd never share about it. Well... she'd thought that at least until a few nights ago. I don't even hardly know who I am anymore.

"People like to rally behind the happier things when our lives are often filled with so much anguish. Relationships are like a beacon of hope in some cases." Not that people were necessarily happy about who Cassandra had married, however. But they didn't understand. They never did. "It does make sense. It is nice when you get to keep it to yourself. A happiness that just belongs to you both. It keeps people from making comments of collusion or just harassing you with wanting details. God, my best friend wanted every single minute detail. And you know how girls get with that stuff. You'd think boys were bad, but they aren't often looking for any form of a play by play," Cassandra laughs at this. She had to laugh. She didn't want to think about the other side of the fact that he was gone. "Do what you two want to do for your wedding, even if it is just you two together alone, swearing your Heart's Oath. It is what is ultimately important to you."

[Seraphina]

“Then maybe it’s time to throw a party! Hmmm,” pausing, “now to come up with a fun theme.” Well, she had a ton of those. But something that will make the most people happy.

“You’re welcome to stop by anytime. I usually keep the shop open a bit later for the Freehold. In case someone needs something warm to drink, or just wants someone to talk to. So just ignore the hours listed. If there are lights, I’m there.” No one had needed help as of yet, which was a good thing. But she still kept the door unlocked in case. “But I know I have lavender.” Yup. “I wish they helped me sleep, but so far, none of them have.” But thankfully, the nightmares hadn’t been as bad lately. Smiling, “I’ll make sure to let you know then! Discussing books is such a great way to spend an afternoon.” Even more so if it was raining.

“Oh, that’s very generous of you, thank you.” But there was quite a bit on her plate with Contracts at the moment. “That is true, but are we really supposed to know those things? Is it our place to be armed for whatever the future holds? I’m not sure if I want to know any of that.” Looking thoughtful.

Her face softens, “I’ve never experienced anything like the loss you have, but if you ever need anything, please call me. Anytime of day or night, I’ll be there, even if you just need someone to listen.” She offers.

Her voice softer, “I can see that.” Then a chuckle, “I know Circe had become quite intrigued by it. Though no one has really wanted details, well, one has, but I’m able to provide enough to settle the curiosity while not giving everything away. And thankfully, no one has made any comments about collusion or anything. And I think that would crush me. Thinking that someone finding love and happiness would lead to such a thing makes me ill.” Her and Rhodes were a team. But their Season remained separate. As they should. “I am anxious to discuss those things with him. But, the engagement is still new, so I don’t think there is a rush. But thank you, think I needed to hear that not having something big would be ok.”

[Cassandra Reeding]

"Mm, themes. Well, it is Autumn. Perhaps we do something with the seasonal theme. Though, not on the spooky side. Something more to celebrate the beauty of fall, the changing of colors, the gentle breeze, you know? Just a potential thought." She rather smiles at that. "I've always liked to look at the beautiful things that come with our seasons. The fluffy snow of Winter, life blossoming during Spring, and... well, Summer I have a hard time with. I don't enjoy sweating and my mantle just barely keeps me cool," She laughs a bit at that, "Though the cooling drinks and picnics at the parks are nice. Children out of school running around and playing." Children... brings sad thoughts to her mind, but she doesn't let it show.

"Tea before bed has become a ritual for me at this point. It might be placebo in a sense that truly helps, but who really knows. Anxiety makes everything worse, but taking the time to calm oneself and decompress from the day just works. Also making sure you are doing well on glamour," She chuckles a little at that. Still, her nightmares haven't been bad lately, just the usual things. "But yes, perhaps I will stop by in a few days." She needed to make sure she got out more than she already did. "It certainly is."

Cassandra considers Sera's position of thoughts for a long moment, "It is a good point, but I can think of so many situations in which my life and the lives of others have been saved by it. Perhaps it is Autumn of me, but there is a good point to fear. If we can find out what they fear most, what rules they live by within their paradigms, we have the edge. We can turn it back around upon them. At the same time, it is damaging to our attachment to the physical world - damaging to our minds. The real question to me is where do we draw the line? How much is too much?" Clarity being lost to the point of being comatose. Losing oneself. It is a terrifying thought when you think about it.

Cassandra gives a gentle smile, "Thank you, Sera. Though, we have all experienced loss in our own ways. Loss of lovers, loss of years of our life, stolen potential, being robbed of portions of our lives that we desperately wanted, loss of pieces of ourselves - our souls; I do my best not to compare any loss to another. Still, it always feels as though we reclaim a part of our life, finally establishing normal, grounding ourselves, and then something comes along to snatch it from us. Still, hope is what we must cling to. At least, it is what I cling to." Without hope, what do we really have? "Still, even if I don't need it, it is good to know that there are people there to listen." Or, in our Winter case, to commiserate.

"Consider yourself lucky on that front." Cassandra laughs a bit, shaking her head. Being with a Draconic, too many suggestive comments were always made. "It is good you can keep that portion of your lives separate. Not everyone can and to a degree, I can't entirely blame them. Sometimes you must make tough choices between doing what is best for those you love and doing what is best for the greater good of the Freehold." I don't know entirely that I could even do it. The crown is a difficult position to be in.

"Any time. And if you ever need any advice on planning things, I'd be happy to try and help. I'll also say, sometimes it is just nice to enjoy that period of engagement - that promise for the future." She'd say that promise of forever, but then again, she herself didn't get to have that. We rather rushed into it though, didn't we? Like a bunch of Summers thinking there is no day like today because we may not have tomorrow.

[Seraphina]

“Oh, a seasonal theme could be fun! Perhaps an elegant harvest party. Where everyone brings a dish that they love and wish to share. And we can all sit around a table, sharing the dishes and having a relaxed conversation. Though a backyard campfire party could be fun. Have marshmallows and warm drinks with a fire and cozy blankets.” There were options. But which would draw the most attendance? Laughing about the hear of Summer, “Maybe the longer days of Summer? Leaves much more time for fun and adventure.” At least it did to her. “And skirts! I love how it’s so much more comfortable to wear skirts and sandals in summer.” She loved to wear skirts and show her legs off.

“For me, I usually have to be exhausted before going to be. Maybe that’s why I take on so such. But I’ve found when I’m exhausted, I don’t really dream, and tend to feel more rested when I awaken.” Chuckling as well, “Oh, that’s never a problem.” Being a Fairest and a Spring, Glamour was easier for her to get. “I’ll make sure to set some aside for you then.” Not that it was a popular enough flavor, but she wanted to make sure she had it.

She considers the words, “I’m still not completely on board with it. Personally. Nothing against those who do use it. But I do understand using an emotion to gain an advantage. As a Spring, it’s something I’ve done more times than I can count, using what someone desires to get what I need, or using it against them to help those around me. I don’t particularly enjoy it, but if it helps my Court, the Freehold and those I care about, I’ll do it without a second thought. But where the line is?” a shrug, “I don’t know. There are many factors that need to be figured in, and those change from person to person. There will come a point where I’ll need to select on a specialty for healing. And one of those paths include mental issues. So I like to believe that there is help for those who have lost their way. I don’t know it for a fact, but it’s something I cling to, a hope I have so to speak. That those we lose to such things can be saved.” Rather it was true or not, she didn’t know. But the hope was there.

“You’re right. No loss is above another, and we all feel it in different ways. But yours is fresh. And I know as someone currently in love, that the pain of having him taken from me would be too much to handle. The loss of someone you’ve shared so much with cannot be easy. Just know you have people here in Sacramento who care and who will help if needed.” It was all she could do. “I often cling to hope myself. It’s helped me numerous times.” Without hope, what was there?

“If I couldn’t separate it, I would make a horrible Monarch. I need to always have the best interest of my Court at the forefront of my mind. Same with the Freehold. Discussing each other’s Court is something that doesn’t come up, and I like it that way. Kind of like not bringing your work home with you.” She says with a laugh, “And there have been those who thought Rhodes opinions were swayed by me, which just isn’t true. He is quite capable of thinking and forming opinions on his own. Now, I will say that he has changed my views on different things. Such as security of my home and inviting the whole Freehold over there. I never gave much thought in the past to things like that. But being careful is always a good thing. And I like to think I’ve drawn him out a bit, even got him to dress up last Halloween!” another laugh. He was so handsome.

“Thank you, I just might take you up on it when the time comes.”

[Cassandra Reeding]

"Oh, that would be lots of fun. I always love seeing what kinds of foods people bring to parties. And it is a good excuse for me to make seasonal sugar cookies." Decorating ones that look like different colored leaves could be really fun. "Weird thought, actually, but it could be fun to do little sugar cookie decorating at a party. But maybe that is just the crafty Artist talking in me," She chuckles a bit. "Oh, I love wearing skirts. Of course, I'll wear them anytime of year. You know, considering my lack of really getting too cold." A benefit of being a Winter that she didn't often think about.

"Mm, that I can understand. And you enjoy exercising and keeping so busy, so I'm sure that helps tuckering you out." I can more than understand that. And yet, when I was at my busiest was when my nightmares were the worst. "You probably already know, but do try to avoid any teas that have any melatonin. It can cause more vivid dreams. Occasionally, I've also found that the Green Death Nyquil can make dreaming less frequent, but it shouldn't be used too often if you aren't sick. Though, secondary warning, you might get less kisses at bedtime if you take it." She laughs a little at that. "Oh, thank you. I'd appreciate it!"

Cassandra pauses, "You know, I am not speaking of humans when I am speaking of figuring out fears. The Gentry are always a looming threat. As long as Autumn does its part in figuring out and experimenting with what we need knowledge-wise, Winter can help keep us on the downlow until we can strike. When it comes to the humans and even other Changelings, there can be something unethical about it, that is, unless you are using it to heal. A friend I had was a psychiatrist and did a lot of exposure therapy. Of course, there is still a line that one needs to be careful in terms of that. Do you think you will choose the psychiatry or counseling route?" Cassandra asks curiously.

"I don't know that I left our house for the first 3 months. There aren't contracts strong enough to rid you of that kind of fresh pain, no matter how strong the Winter. Still, there are the memories and those, at least, I can cling to. I know others do not believe in it, but I do believe that time heals all wounds eventually. It doesn't mean there won't be phantom pain once in a while, but..." Then again, do you ever truly get over your first love? "Still, thank you."

"Any good relationship means change. Different experiences change the scope of our worldview. Even still, one in your positions should be careful. Jealous hearts can bring a lot of trouble where there is none," And that we certainly know from experience. "That is a strange thing here to me. Then again, I've always preferred to bring others over to my Hollow than my actual home. When you are a part of a larger Freehold, you tend to have your little clique anyway. This one is small enough and the group is generally trustworthy enough from what I can sense that having Freehold members over wouldn't cause me too much alarm. Still, there can be more fun places to meet up than an apartment." She chuckles a little. At the same time, I did move once just to make sure people didn't know where I lived. Though, that's what happens when you are up to shady things.

"Of course. I might have some old photos laying around somewhere if you ever need any ideas for décor or ceremony related things. We had done a handfasting."

[Seraphina]

Pleased that her ideas had been a hit, “Then I’ll look into getting setup. Though I cannot say I’ve ever heard of a sugar decorating party, but it does sound like fun! Something simple and fun, but I am curious as to how Sonnie would decorate a sugar cookie.” A little laugh. Would the Beast decorate it, or eat the frosting and sprinkles first? Both were legit ways to go about it. “I found these great legging type tights that are lined to make them warmer for under short skirts. They are great! And come in all kinds of cute designs. But on some level, I’ve grown accustomed to colder air,” Rhodes was an Autumn after all, “but I’ve never let the cold stop me. Especially if it’s a cute skirt I just got.” Because then it’s fashion over anything else.

“Sometimes it does, but not all the time. Afraid my body is getting used to it.” A small chuckle, “The only way I’ve found to get around the Dreams, is to focus on healing those from a local shelter I volunteer at. Or asking Rhodes watch over my Dreams. Which I don’t like to do.” Because she shouldn’t have to, she should be strong enough to deal with it on her own. Laughing, “Now I’m curious if that is truly a thing. Less kisses because of NyQuil!” giggling.

A shallow nod, “I’ve seen them used against Them before. I helped search the Dreamscape for fears and tells to use against Fairweather. I’ve found it to be a safe and effective method, and hope to use it against our current threat.” She was going into the Dreams, but was going to keep it quiet. “I haven’t decided yet. It’s been a decision I’ve been putting off for a while now. Taking that next step comes with,” a pause, “consequences for me.” Holding up her translucent hands. “But I’ve been leaning toward healing damage caused from fights and battles. After saving Anatole from dying, it made me want to increase what I would be able to do for someone in that state. But,” looking down, “it’s not an easy decision for me to make.” It had been a struggle for her.

“I spent so much time sealing myself away from those types of feelings, that I don’t know what would happen if I lost them now.” Would she lock herself away? Or would she turn into a bitter Fairest? Turning love and desire against others? It was a terrifying thought.

“That’s a fair point, something worth keeping in mind. Though nothing has shown, and we’ve been together almost two years. But I suppose you never know.” She hoped that would never be the case.

“I don’t invite people over anymore. I’m more secretive about my house now, which in one way, sucks. Because then it’s harder to show off decorations and changes I’ve made. But, when it comes to being safe, I suppose it’s worth it.” It felt like a good change, the right one.

“I’d love to see them sometime! I have a feeling you have excellent taste in décor.” She compliments. “You don’t hear about handfasting much anymore. Was there a personal reason for choosing it?”

[Cassandra Reeding]

"I did a gingerbread decorating thing once and... there were some interesting designs," She laughs, "My favorite was this little Emo looking, raging gingerbread man flipping birds that my friend had done. She didn't even eat it. She ran around with it the whole night making jokes and showing it to people for a laugh. Isn't quite gingerbread time though... though, I could make some pumpkin spice flavored ones." She smiles, considering all the possibilities. "Oh, I absolutely love fleece lined leggings. I'll just wear them to wear them sometimes because they feel so nice and cozy." Cassandra nods with understanding. After all, the Spring Queen was with a powerful mantled Autumn. "I can more than understand on that end, getting used to chillier mantles." Considering Phillip would naturally breathe out frost. Sometimes she'd wake up and her hair would be completely coated in a layer of snow.

"You are an incredibly good person. I know in part you might see it as a selfish task when you are gaining from it, but any form of going out an helping the general populous is good for both the Freehold and the city itself." She smiles a little and then nods about having someone watch over your dreams. "I can understand. You don't seem like someone who likes the idea of burdening others even if you are not being a burden." Cassandra didn't particularly like others watching her dreams, but that was mainly because information could easily be gathered from them. She'd only let him do it... "Well, it certainly happened to me!" She laughs. "He wasn't expecting it and nearly gagged. He hated the taste of the Green Death. Talk about an immediate turn off, but really, I just couldn't stop laughing at the reaction."

Cassandra looks at the Nix's translucent hands for a long moment as she speaks of consequences, "I've never seen anyone with hands like yours, so I don't quite understand how they would cause such problems. Unless in going into dreams you think your mien will cause problems. I'm curious to know more if you are willing to share." She smiles a little, "I need to spend more time speaking with him. That you saved him on the brink of death is incredible. Considering the Freehold as it is, having more healers certainly couldn't hurt. Still, it is a difficult decision to make."

"It was hard at first, even allowing myself to admit to the feelings, but those feelings make you stronger. Having experienced them, even with the loss... I'm still much stronger than I used to be. Part of never forgetting the memories is using them to make you stronger, something I cling to." There is a far off look in her eyes, trying to remember that she should focus on the happier memories than the hurtful ones. No relationship exists without their ups and downs.

"More than understandable. You could take pictures when you get new things though. I'd love to see pictures of what your library looks like. My brain keeps going to that scene in Beauty and the Beast," She chuckles, the thought bringing her back rather than lost in her thoughts.

"I think... I think I actually may have one picture on my phone." It was weird to her, but she actually rather liked the idea of showing it, even if it was just a picture of her in her dress. She takes out her phone, scrolling through her photos for what seems like an eternity. Half of the pictures on her phone were pics that Blodwen had taken because Cass never really did so. Once in a while, she'd scroll past a picture of him, making her heart ache a little. She hadn't scrolled this far back in a long time. Did she even want to keep those pictures? After a minute of scrolling she manages to find it. She smiles, gazing down at it for a moment before showing it to Sera. It was a picture of her in her wedding dress holding her bouquet of purple flowers. Blodwen had taken the photo from her crap phone, she it wasn't the best quality, but it was something. "It was such a pretty day."

"Considering the Heart's Oath, it just felt correct. Neither of us were religious and if we weren't going to do a courthouse, then we needed to consider other options. A binding of souls, entwining our futures just fit with us. Plus, it was fun to braid cords together to have individual meanings." And, we of course put that part off to the last minute. My fault for wanting to craft everything.

[Seraphina]

Laughing as well, “You know? I could see Circe doing that.” A nod, “Yup, totally could.” And now she kinda wanted to see it happen. “I sometimes wear a pair that look like you’re wearing nothing on your legs when I just have to wear a new skirt. But they are comfy around the house too. You know those rainy days when all you want to do is relax with a good book? Those make the best pants to wear.” True story.

A bashful shrug, “I’ve just always loved helping others. And it’s a woman’s shelter, so I not only help in Dreams, but I donate left over food from the coffee shop and clothes. But where I’m so tall, I also offer to have dress pants hemmed for those not as tall.” Because everyone needed a good pair of dress pants. Laughing, “Oh, I’m not. I don’t usually admit when I need help, or accept it when offered. But, what can I say, Rhodes just has a way.” A shrug, but she trusted him more than anyone else. Laughing again, “I’m gonna try it some evening just to see what happens!” it was on.

“Well, not problems in the sense that they hinder me doing things. Problems in that it’s not pleasant to see yourself fading away. All my life I’ve been told that the only thing I had were my looks, so to see pieces of them fade, it’s a lot to handle.” And that was how it was. “But you may not have seen them because it’s an effect of my Order. See, I’m an Oneirophysic or a Dreamhealer. I am able to enter the Dreamscape of a dying or severely injured person and force their body to,” a pause, “well, knit back together. It stops the injured from bleeding out, bones mend, severed muscles knit back together and I can purge toxins. But that’s as much as I can tell you. My Order is very secretive of our gifts.” There was more, but, she couldn’t share it. “It doesn’t cause problems, my Mien, but more of me will begin to fade away. I will of course, still be here, I’ll just match my hands.” Not what she wanted. Or did she? “Working closely with others who can heal is important. As I gain ranks, I will be able to do more, but there are limits. So teamwork is best.” Everyone working together.

There was a nod as she listened, eyes looking down into her cup for a moment, “It does make us stronger, but it also leaves us open to have those feelings used against us.” Was it worth it in the end? It was hard to know.

Laughing, “Don’t I wish! But,” a shake of her head, “it is no where near that beautiful. Just a regular library overflowing with books. I’ve considered bringing some of them in here, and having a shelf for people to borrow them or leave their own. But if I am able to remodel the way I want, it will be two level and have a more open floor plan. Though that’s a dream depending on many factors.” Money, structure of the house.

She eagerly looks, “Oh Cassandra! You look so beautiful!” she gushes, “That dress is perfect for you! So radiant!” taking in the details. “I have a few ideas I’ve already sketched out. But, still not sure if I want to spin my dress or simply buy one.” Still undecided.

“I bet it was a magical day.”

[Cassandra Reeding]

"I can see that based on the fiery personality I've gathered from Circe. She seems like she likes to have fun." She chuckles a little. "Reading books on a rainy day is the best. Especially when you have a window open and you can feel the breeze coming in." Though, we still make sure there is no reflection from the windows even when they are open.

"Oh, that is wonderful. If you ever want someone to come in and do some level of music therapy with anyone at the shelter, I'd be happy to do so. Sometimes people just need a little bit of joy in their lives. I took classes in college working with a combination of art and musical connection. Sometimes you need more than just physical healing, you know?" She always liked to help where she could, even if it was sometimes just a cover. "I feel that on a personal level. I'm very much the same, though part of it is likely my more introverted personality. I can talk and chat with people very pleasantly, but afterwards I need to chill out somewhere and decompress. Asking for help takes a lot of energy." And causes a lot of anxiety, but you know.

Cassandra laughs, "Oh, goodness. I'll admit, I can't wait to hear about what happens." She imagines for a moment his face, the way he gagged and then laughed and told her how terrible she was for forcing the Green Death upon him.

Cassandra nods as she listens, intrigued by the information, "I can see how that would be quite disconcerting. It is an amazing ability you possess though. I'd be curious why it would make your mien fade over time and if there was a way to prevent it. I'm glad it isn't hindering you beyond the being on the end of making you nervous."

She just nods. She knows all about using such feelings against people. "They can, which is why you must always be careful who you share with. I feel I am at a point where, really, this portion of information for me can only be used against me so much. Then again, perhaps that is naïve of me." Are you sharing to make her more comfortable around you or are you sharing because you want to? Why is it so hard to tell the difference?

"That is a struggle. I do hope you get to have your library look as you wish it too one day. And again, I have to recommend, if you are ever on the East Coast, check out the Johns Hopkins Library. It is... just beyond gorgeous."

She smiles as Sera reacts to the picture. It was a day that was stressful, but by the end, it's likely that day was the happiest she'd been since the first time they'd kissed. "Thank you. My best friend forced me on a whole adventure to bridal shops to pick it out. A weird kind of 'Say Yes to the Dress.'" Really, the experience was probably for Blodwen more than me, but it was still great for bonding. "Go with your gut. You could always try spinning one and consider whether you like where it is going or go dress shopping. I'll admit, shopping for the dress is incredibly fun."

"It really was and I know yours will be too."