(Private)Spring over books

[Yamiyo Lillich]

"Yeah what is even sadder is that some of them are the ones who suffers a lot themselves already, not all of course but some and those ones actually just need help and perhaps just doesn't know how to ask for it or get it so they just act out." The world really weren't a kind place to far to many ones "We all have our limits, no one can take things over and over without any side effects either we need to act out or slowly destroy ourselves." Taking a sip of her water before kindly smiling "Do you honestly even want that? If they try to protect you so do you know that they do it because of that they both love you in their own respective ways, it might get tedious but the feelings behind it are genuine."

"It's good that not all you're memories are bad ones at least even if it is sad that it went so far, children need to be allowed to be kids. At least you are free to make your own choices today and have found happiness. What do they say that the thorniest roads leads sometimes leads to the happiest destinations or something like that?" She wasn't sure but it sounded familiar somehow at least "Ohh really young then relationships for even one year are quite uncommon from what I have seen even so it sounds quite good for such a young one" Dead? No need to dig into that just move on, "How can a teenager know? Most are still growing, they are rushed with hormones and have only seen a small fraction of their lives, they are still in for a lot more changes to come. However your words does make me afraid, I never dated in my teens and all my dating have been based on lies and short relationships ever since coming back ones that I always knew would be short hence I never gave my heart to it at all, does that mean that I am not ready or prepared enough for love yet due to never actually feeling like I could give my heart to someone that I couldn't be honest with?" It was a concern, she had dated a lot yes and had a few exes but none of them were anyone she had loved only either liked or needed but never loved, more of then not so were they just for her survival.

"Then lets try for that there is nothing stopping the try." Even though winter was very low on members and neither with a position to speak of that she know of at least.

Shaking her hands a bit.
"No no a puppy party is something else entirely, most of the time their caretaker comes with them but I think you can request to just rent the puppies overall as well but with a bit more papers to sign I am no expert though. Anyway the entire meaning is just to have a bunch of small cute puppies there to liven up the event since they are famous for spreading love and being so cute. I don't know when it first started but in todays day and age so are there people trying to make money in countless new ways so someone thought that puppies and love was a good way to make money I guess."

"Ohh?" Looking at her with an interested look "In what way has it helped you? Just emotionally or in other ways as well? Nevertheless so the sentiment behind something can often become a pillar of strength to just know that someone cares can mean a lot. I will be looking forward to see what you will end up making one day."

"That is very likely, all I can tell you is that she was around with Angel and some men I know basically nothing about. Their acting scared and annoyed me far to much for wanting to get close to them and made me prepare to dive through the floor to escape." Her annoyance with Angel's actions still bothered her, making her feel a bit unsafe.

[Seraphina]

A simply nod of agreement at her statements. “I want them to know I’m not helpless. And it sucks, because I lost one sparring match and all of a sudden it’s like no one wants to let me fight.” A slight pout. She knew Yami spoke the truth, Rhodes and Sonnie just wanted to keep her safe. But it wasn’t easy for her.

Quite good? No, no it wasn’t. But she wasn’t getting into that. It took her over a year to open up to Rhodes about it. “Well, most teenagers think they know best, most are rebelling and thinking they are ready to take on the world. Afraid?” of what? “You’re worrying too much about it all. Just because you didn’t experience teenage love doesn’t mean you’re not ready for real love. It’s just a lot of people get to experience teenage love. It’s not a requirement or anything. And nothing prepares you for love.” A shake of her head, “Nothing at all. It’s scary and wonderful at the same time. And you’ll find someone you can be open and honest with, just let it happen when it’s supposed to. If you push for it, or dwell on it, you’ll always be disappointed.” Or that was how it seemed to her.

“I’d think an adoption event for a local shelter would do better. Not only for the puppies, but the shelter as well. But if this is something you want to pursue, then I think you should.” Always one to encourage. “I would just personally rather see the money going to help those puppies not able to find homes.” But, that was her.

“It’s kept me safe numerous times, and opened my eyes to the joys and wonders of spinning. I didn’t know much about it, and she showed it to me and made me something. Without wanting anything in return. So in a way, it also helped me see that being giving and unselfish was an acceptable way to be. I had often hid my kind and giving nature, knowing there were those who would take advantage. But she helped me foster it.” And learn to take time for herself as well.

“You’ll see that from time to time. Another Lost passing through on whatever path they’re on. I’d done it many times myself, looking for that Freehold that just felt right.” Her next words were weird, “Acting?” but then she remembered this was Yami, who said she was quick to blush. And with a beauty like Angel, one can only imagine what was going on.

[Yamiyo Lillich]

"I doubt that you are helpless my Queen, one loss should never define us everyone can have a bad day. Feel free to throw their over concern my way though other than separating myself from this world so do I have no battle skills to talk of whatsoever, now if you need a wallet lifted so is that more my speed." One who wanted to be seen for how strong she really was and not be coddled another that would love nothing more than to be guarded and feel the warmth from it they really were different.

"Well it is hard to speak for others but in my case so did I often know better than those who raised me and defying them were quite the norm. In all honesty so can I not even begin to mention the amount of times I snuck out. Then again that really was only to read books as I have already mentioned. There really wasn't any other big decisions in my past, do your school work do what you were told and try to be alone as much as possible and run from most people your own age, hide your crushes from everyone else knowing that they would never get reciprocated anyways feeling lucky and sad that no one could grasp ASL nor Spanish most of the time." Lightly nodding "Yes a bit afraid, can you be ready with so little experience or only fake ones? Your words are true and wise, most books and tips I have read about it does say the same but still it is scary you even admit it yourself that love is partially scary however that also sounds wonderful a bit of fear gives you something to fight both for and against if that makes sense? You're words are very kind and if I do succeed so do I hope that we all can go to the movies or something together sometimes for a double date." That might be fun and a new experience.

"Can't argue that either, truth be told so is it just me being selfish and wanting to play with puppies but really any dog would do they are all wonderful, amazing and deserves love so if you would prefer one like that so would it be an honor to attend that as well. As long as there are cute animals to play with, cuddle and hug so will I gladly be there." Even if puppies were really cute and she really would need to throw such a party sometime.

Smiling a warm kind smile.
"She sounds like quite an amazing woman that both left you a huge gift and a major impression on you helping you to be the beloved Queen that you are today. It is quite amazing how the support of someone can help us so much and give us the room to grow, to be free and dare to open up and be ourselves."

Well that sounded logical she had been in plenty of cities before coming here after all.
"True, can't say that I have been through many freeholds but I have seen plenty of cities in my travels around the country and there have probably been more than one time that another Lost have seen me that I never saw wondering who I were only to never see me again."
Drinking from her water before looking down.
"I do not know the rules nor presets for it however the dropping of the mask scares me quite a bit, to reveal our true form to strangers and the potential that they would rat me out and nag me to do the same that was scary as such I stayed away from them both not wanting to get into any trouble and ready to escape should anything happen."

[Seraphina]

Well, that probably depended on the circumstances.

“Afraid I never learned to share.” She says with a laugh and wink. “But basic self defense is pretty easy to learn.” But sharing Rhodes attention wasn’t something she was about to do. Friend or Spring, it didn't matter.

“I never really defied my parents, well, not until my teenage years.” And then? Well, things went downhill. “But I hear it’s normal for kids to sneak out and all that.” But, she could have heard wrong. Shrugging, “I don’t know. If you had asked me a year ago about love, I would have blown it off, telling you it’s a fairy tale and not something worth chasing. But now? It’s one of those things that sneak up on you. And it does make sense. If you’ve been hurt, your instinct is to fight against the feelings, pushing them away as quickly as possible. But there is that tiny part of you that wants to reach out and take it. Like I said, it’s weird.” Love was odd that was for sure. “And that would be fun! I don’t think we’ve gotten to do that!” a double date?! Count her in!

“It’s something we could look into. Maybe something for here at the shop or even at the park. Draw some positive attention. People love it when a place gives back. Positive press and all that.” Plus, she loved giving back. “Either way, we can figure something out.” One was easier though.

“She was just one of the first friends I met when I moved here. Was very welcoming and helped when I needed it.” Then a shy shrug, “I think beloved is a bit much, I’m still figuring the whole thing out.” And it wasn’t as easy as others made it look.

Nodding as a long leg help push the chair back and forth, “I passed through a handful before settling here. Each had a different feel, some had deep roots and alliances formed over years that didn’t seem very welcoming. And then here, they were rebuilding, a good chance to establish yourself. Even came across a few hostile ones. Well, hostile in the sense of not being very welcoming and judgy.” Nope. She was all set with that.

“There are Contracts that allow you to drop it without the risk of exposing yourself. It has its drawbacks, but it can be very useful when in a bad situation. I could use one right now, and head to club with my Mask down, and no one would remember. Not that I do that, but it’s something in my bag of tricks. So it could have been some Contract or Boon in use.” There was always a way to explain things.

[Yamiyo Lillich]

Moving her hand over her mouth and lightly giggling a bit.
"Well I am not much better there even when something feels a bit much so is it still nice to have it." It really was or well so she imagined she had never felt the to much feeling thus far. "Well that might be worth looking into, I do not best know what kind of style fits me though. I am limber, small and quick but also rather physically weak, strength and muscles never were my forte I am afraid."

"Well I had plenty of" making citation quotes with her fingers "so called parents growing up one pair worse than the other nor did most of them care much more than to get the check each month so some might care that I defied them hence I learned to sneak others just needed me alive and to attend school so social services would not get involved and make them lose money. As such I don't really know if you could say that I defied them as more or less just escaping them a bit."
Her eyes going kind as she watches her.
"Isn't that half the point of love? That it is surprising, it is everything you expect it to be whilst being none of it, it takes you, swirls you around, changes you and makes you see things in ways you never thought possible and the more you look for it the harder it is to find but you must always be open to it and take the chance when it comes even if you risk getting hurt?" Wait didn't that mean that her active searching for it would prove to ultimately be her doom? Sigh things can never just be nice can they. "Well I do hope that we will get the chance to do that then, it would be quite an experience." Besides she loved going to the movies.

"Hmm if you want an adoption event so is summer here now quite the perfect time for it, people get some days of and have a chance to be around a new pet enough to make it feel safe and it is the season for amusement parks so to get some nice press now might be a golden time so lets go for it and see if we can set something up for this summer. If you have any special special centres or shelters you are in contact with so might it be a good idea if we start looking into it now otherwise so can I go around and see if we can get something going for the middle of July if you like? Provided we can do it at Funderland that is?"

"She sounds like a very kind and warm person, I am glad that she was there for you and helped you become the stellar Queen that you are today" Stretching out her arm and shaking her index finger "Ah ah ah I am one of your subjects hence I have the right to say it, so sorry my fair Queen but the beloved Queen you are." Quickly nodding towards her as she smiles.

Taking her words in, thinking a bit before replying.
"To see more before you decide is always, I were with one other when I first escaped only for some months though can't really say that I remember how long that time is quite a blur nevertheless I was not ready to settle down hence travel caught me until it was clear that those days were over and I was told to find my home here and after that was the preparation and arriving right around your coronation." Ohh damn had she been shy and afraid at that point in time.

Looking down, gently using her body to let the chair move a bit.
"If that is what they did so would that be better that I will agree to however nevertheless so did it just scare me and made me keep my distance as all I could see were the loss of the mask, if you wanna know about the one who passed through you will need to ask Angel if that is not of interest so well that is up to you."

Squirming a bit and looking around seeming a bit shy and afraid before slowly speaking as her body shakes a bit.
"I think I am gonna need to tell you my full story though, it is scary but you deserve to know and honesty I might need some help with it not to mention that I would love to hear what the Scholar Rhodes might say about it." Looking at her Queen with frightful eyes, her hands not signing nor had they ever since she brought this topic up again. "I ask you to only tell Rhodes and for you both to keep it a secret for as long as you do not see a good reason to tell others though and to inform me if that time comes, would that be to selfish to ask?"

[Seraphina]

“I’d talk to Circe or Sonnie about what would fit you. I’ve been working on boxing and a bit of Kung Fu, though I’ve let both slide lately. But Sonnie is really knowledgeable and would be perfect to help.”

Shrugging, “I think so.” She was still figuring it out as she went. “And, to me, it’s worth the risk of getting hurt. If you shelter yourself away to never get hurt, you miss out on some amazing chances. The hurt sucks, but it’s also a teacher with lesson to learn if you pay attention.” Have to take the bad with the good.

“I don’t have any animal shelters I’m in contact with, but we could always ask Sonnie where she adopted Fugly! Throw an adoption event and fundraiser for them.” Could be fun! “As far as doing something at Funderland, I’d have to talk to the others. I’ve always made it a point that anytime there is an idea for a park event that each Season gets a say. It only seems fair.” And if not, then she could do something at the coffee shop!

Sticking her tongue out playfully, “Ah, but you’re biased.” She teases with a laugh.

“I wanted a Freehold as far from where I grew up as possible. The distance meant I could build a life as who I always wanted to be. But it was eye opening to see different Freeholds, see how others do things.” And how she didn’t want to do things.

A shrug, “Unless they decide to make our Freehold their home, or cause problems, I don’t see the need to get involved. We can’t keep others from passing through and staying a night or two.” And if they were just passing through, then whatever.

“Anything you tell me in confidence will never be shared. But if this is something you want Rhodes to know, then I believe you should speak with him yourself. Telling someones story third hand gets facts confused. But if you want to confine in me, then you are welcome and your story will stay safe with me.”

[Yamiyo Lillich]

"Hmm when it comes to martial arts so am I not sure nor self defense but I think the first step would be to learn to get a taser quickly, I do not know if they are legal here though. After that it depends, are we talking self defense for well mundane or to be of aid cause in that case maybe a gun would be better to learn even if I do not think I have the heart to fire at a human or well anyone without a good cause." She had a pretty kind heart to begin with so yeah that might be hard.

Smiling at her words.
"I am quite sure that I am doing things wrong and that will be my greatest enemy but maybe being true to yourself is also good. So honestly any chance that comes my way is one that I will take, no matter how many times I get hurt so is it better than to not try at all. Crying into your pillow is better than to miss out besides there is no grander wish in my heart than to know a love like yours, with a woman of course but that is a trivial difference." It should be at least, hmm what was the states laws on marriage again? Damn so much to keep tabs on.

"Hmm I still think that July would be the best month to do it in and asking Sonnie should not be that hard so how about we meet up and ask it all on the summer coronation event and see when all three regents will be there and if it doesn't go well then we will just have have to make a backup plan. Worst comes to worst so am I sure that some park in the city would agree to have it just for the publicity, giving dogs a second chance is never bad publicity so I don't think the city would mind and if not so well there are probably plenty of places that would jump at it and I am sure you know some of them at least." She was to new in this city her only real connections were a sorority that would be inactive, the library and a lesbian club none of them good for it.

Placing her hands over her heart and gasping a fake gasp.
"How am I biased my Queen? I am one of the newest springs in this city and maybe even the newest depending on how to view the beautiful knight lady Coco hence I am the least biased." Maybe not fully true, trying to hold her giggle back from the tongue, she had not expected that from the Queen.

"We all need different things, nevertheless so do you seem to have flourished here so you made a good choice and we are all lucky to have you." Or well at least that was how she felt.

Lightly smiling a bit.
"If that is your will, I have done my part in telling you what I saw the rest is your choice. If I happen to see her again so will I tell you of it once more but most likely so is she long gone by now."

Taking a deep breath, her body shivering a bit as she shook her head.
"No I need you to tell Rhodes as a part of it is that we might need to know and from what I gather so is he the grandest scholar here. I do not know when I will have the power to tell him myself."
Grabbing down on her chair taking deep breath after deep breath. Keeping her eyes closed and shaking as she slowly began to speak.
"It all happened a bit before I arrived here, ever since returning so have I always had my period I know I could not bear a pregnancy but it remained."
Stopping up to breath for a while.
"Anyway one night on the 14th which were when it always started so did I sleep alone in a room when I suddenly felt a hand over my mouth, I tried to scream but could not. Something pricked me and I went numb, unable to move and just barely think."
Drinking from her water and taking her time.
"I could not feel much, the room was dark and i couldn't see very well but they cut into me and harvested my eggs, something about the eggs of succubus were all I could get out."
Pressing her knees up to her face.
"When I woke up one entire day had passed and it was the morning of the 16th and ever since my period has not been coming. I do not know who did it nor why they did it but it scared me, it scared the wits out of me and as such I desperately sought to be amongst others of our kind."
Looking towards her queen still pressing her knees as high as possible.
"I do not know if it will result in anything nor why they would need them but they stole them from me and left me with no scars that is all I know and I have been alone and afraid ever since."
Tears softly running down from her eyes in silence.
"I am sorry if it sounds pathetic, I just do not know if they will use them for some horror."

[Seraphina]

“Oh, I’m not too sure about that. But I’m sure it would be easy to look into. And mundane self-defense is great when in a situation where you have to hide. Like, there are mundanes around type thing. If it’s a gun? Then that’s Circe’s territory. I have no experience with those.” And she kind of didn’t want any. They were loud and drew attention. "But everyone can learn the basics." even Yami.

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” But it was harder for them to find love. And that was just a fact of their reality.

“I want to be honest with you, I don’t feel comfortable relaying information between people. If you’re uncomfortable speaking with him, I can be there with you, and offer support if you need it. But if you want him to know, you’re going to have to speak to him.” She wasn’t a go between. “If you have the power to tell me, then you’ll have the power to tell him.” But this was something she wouldn’t budge on.

She wasn’t sure what she was hearing or what to say.

Harvested eggs? It made no sense to her. How do you respond to that?

“I’m so sorry that happened to you. Are you ok? Do you have a safe place to stay?” because first thought is safety. Not just for Yami, but the Freehold as a hold. Was Yami a risk to the overall safety? But she didn’t have an answer for that.

“And I don’t know how I can help. I’ve never heard of anything like that before.”

[Yamiyo Lillich]

"Yeah ten minutes in front of a computer should be enough to both check that out and potentially order one as well. You are right there I will not deny that, I am not much for the gun idea myself but it all comes down with if it is to help defend myself or help keep some dangerous potential attacker of us away." A gun would certainly be better for that but she was not sure she would be able to fire against a living being.

"Very true, an old saying but sayings rarely gets old unless they come with some truth to them after all"

Sighing a bit.
"That is fine, I am not really eager to tell him though I mainly just wonder if some of his books could tell something about it that is all. If I get a chance to speak with him so will I ask him personally, I do appreciate you keeping it silent though." If she wouldn't even tell Rhodes so was she pretty sure that she wouldn't tell anyone else either which was a great knowledge and ease to have. "I can tell him myself though no need for you to be involved as long as I meet him somewhere where it is suiting to do so." She was not about to just randomly say it at the wrong event.

Gently swaying in her chair, looking away, perhaps she shouldn't have said something perhaps it would have been better to keep silent then again they were used for something and she did not know what and if a time came when that would come back to bite her or anyone else so would it feel bad if she never told anyone about it.

Softly nodding in response to her words.
"I manage and this all happened before I came to this city and was the event that led me to give up living alone and trying to find a community or well freehold with friends, I haven't seen them since and I doubt their interest with me still exists I mostly worry what they wanted them for to begin with and what they actually did." It was still not fully in her knowledge base, they had harvested eggs at least that much she knew if they had done more so did she not know it, she was never in pain and they hadn't even left a physical mark of it.

"That's alright I didn't tell you for that reason I just didn't want it secret in case someone chooses to use them in some way against anyone, I don't know how or in what way but just if it happens so would I feel awful if I had kept this secret."

[Seraphina]

Nodding, “I bet Circe would know too. And if you want to learn basics, I can help you.” The basics were easy and anyone could learn them.

“Eager or not, it’s clearly something that has been on your mind and bothering you. We could also look for books at Markets. Surely there are books and lore for sale in the various Markets. Something worth considering.” Of course the Nix would keep it silent. Lost rarely trusted, and when you began the process of trusting another, you did not ruin it.

“I would recommend at the Haunted House in the park if you were seeking him out. Or just call him.” But she was staying out of that. It helped to discuss things on your own, to find your own words.

“Well, if you feel you’re in danger at any time, please call me. Any hour of day or night. The Tavern is a safe place should you need it, and I would come get you if you needed. Or stay with you.” It was really all she could do.

“If someone does decide to come here, you have us now. And we would protect you. But you need to keep us informed of any developments. I can’t help if I don’t know I need to.”