Conner sits in the basement of his haven toiling away. He had been working on this particular mask for several days, er, nights now and had become rather enthralled with it. He found that he had reached his stride with it as he finished carving out one of the eye holes. Conner's initial design was carved in wood and then he would either make it out of a rubber or a vaccuform plastic. He hadn't decided yet and the man who ordered it was not specific. Conner reached for his round file and found it missing. Conner remembered that he had left it upstairs for whatever reason and made his way up the steps and onto the main floor of the house.
Ariana had just returned from attending Poughkeepsie Porn Co. 2: The Velvet Mafia at the Lambada Players Studio. The show put her in a delightful mood for a change. It was funny and somewhat erotic. The eroticism was not generally her style, but she was asked to attend it since Mr. Brandt was in his usual irritating mood. This usually meant that Ariana got 'stuck' doing something she was not thrilled to do. Nevertheless, it was entertaining.
Tonight they were rearranging the office and a massive spring cleaning, so she was not able to work at the Bee. She would probably tuck herself away in her room with her laptop and write the article. After the last conversation at Court with Conner she did not know what to think. When she first began staying there, it seemed that he was avoiding her. Now it was as if the tables were turned and she was avoiding him. Why would he care, she wondered. She had opened the door and slowly walked in and Conner was on the main floor. "Good evening Mister Greyson." She had a She had a genuine smile for a change.
"Good evening to you Madam Donovan." Conner said and made his way into the kitchen where he began rifling through drawers. One of his herd had cleaned up again and Conner did not know where she had put his file. Conner hated it when they cleaned without his permission. It was extremely frustrating in that he had known exactly where he had left the file, but had no way of knowing where the meal had put it. Well he could read her mind, but that would require her to be here.
Ariana saw a determined look on Conner's face and was curious. She did not bother with small talk, as usual, since she ended up feeling like she was talking to a inanimate object. "Mister Greyson, is there anything particular you are looking for?"
"Round File" Conner said as he continues his rifling, his frustration growing more obvious.
Ariana had been looking for a writing utensil two nights ago and had to rummage through the same drawers. She had come across in her pillaging but did not want to return it to the basement. "I think I saw it." She opened a draw that he may have already went through and produced it from under some items in the drawer. "Is this the file that you were looking for?"
"Yes it is, thank you" Conner says and takes the file and begins to retreat back to his hole.
After they had just had the conversation in regards to this exact circumstance, he walks away...again. Her lovely mood was starting to deplete. "Mister Greyson, was Mister O'Connor's room adjusted?" Perhaps this would engage some sort of conversation.
Conner stops in his tracks and turned to Ariana, "It was yes," Conner says and walks over to the desk and produces the portfolio. Conner hands the file to Ariana. As she pages throgh it she will find a new picture that was not there before. It is labeled as Thomas' room. "What is your opinion?" Conner asked as he rolled up the sleeves of his, strangely for Conner, un-tucked button down shirt.
At first glance, Ariana was pleased. She studied it a bit more and in a calm yet happy tone. "Oh I think he will be most pleased with this." She looked up from the portfolio and to Conner, "Did you give any thought to the training room at all?"
"Training room?" Conner said with a question in his voice. "The downstairs has an open space that the previous owners used for a pool table. That could be used for a training space." Conner said flipping through the portfolio to show her the downstairs, the Bar area, and the pool table.
Ariana had a slightly puzzled look on her face. "Mister Greyson, I thought you would be utilizing the basement for your own purposes." Of course this was still part of her curiosity from their prior conversation.
"This house." Conner points to the folder, "Does not lend itself to my needs. As the basement is fully finished and would require... gutting... in order to serve my needs. I find that to be unnecessary as I will be keeping this haven to use as a base for my patrols. I will have a small workbench in the single stall garage and will keep the bulk of my work here." Conner explains.
Ariana was still puzzled. "I understand you are a private person and you have work that you will need to do. However, do you not wish to reside with myself or Mister O'Connor in the new haven?" Hopefully she hid her frustrations deep away where Conner could not find them.
"Yes Madam Donovan I will, but if my work does not allow me the time i need to return to the shared haven, I will have another place to go." Conner says looking at the Ventrue. Looking into her eyes even, despite the risk of her talents.
Ariana returned his gaze her blue eyes slightly darkened holding back her frustration. "Mister Greyson, I asked you a question in our previous conversation at Court and you only returned a question with a question." Which is clearly avoiding or lying, she thought. "Why have you been willing to make these changes?"
"To help facilitate the binding of our group. And to show my willingness to be a part of it." Conner answers plainly.
She was not sure how to respond. She continued to look in his eyes, and with a calm voice spoke her concerns. "Why are you willing to be a part of it? All I know of you is that you are a solitary man. Whilst I see that you are attempting to make an effort, it still seems unusual." Ariana realized how pointless asking some of these questions were, but she wanted to try. Her hope with Conner was spread thin.
"Do you want the honest answer?" Conner asked as he walked over toward a display case and took out a domino mask. As Conner waited for an answer he stuck the domino mask to his face and tied it off with a scarf that was sewn to the mask in order to be used as a tie.
Ariana followed Conner to the living room and sat down. She was rather irritated that they were resorting to this yet again. "Yes, I want the honest answer, Conner." Her reply was still in a calm voice, but there was a hint of frustration behind it. She watched him with yet another mask as he began covering part of his face.
Conner thought for a moment before saying, "Solitary, Yes. Foolish, No. In order to obtain my goals I have found it better to work with others who have similar goals and that I can trust. Despite what you may think Madam Donovan, I do trust you, at least, more then any other kindred in this city."
Conner set the file down on the end table and sat next to Ariana.
Listening as he spoke, her curiosity was ever thriving. She touched his arm as he laid down the file and looked at his eyes through the mask. "Thank you for trusting me." She had noticed that things did not change in his disposition as they did with his other mask. "Is this Grey speaking, or Conner?"
Conner heard the question and thought for another moment, a beat went by and he said, "Which would you prefer?" Conner asked. His eyes looking into hers without fear or worry.
Ariana was not entirely sure how to respond. Noticing how he did not appear alarmed at her hand on his arm she replied, "I would prefer the one who will actually converse with me and be honest."
"Both of us will answer your questions, it just depends on how the questions are asked." Conner said, if Ariana is still looking at him in the eyes she will see a rapid blink and a dart of his eyes before looking forward again.
Ariana was not entirely sure if the movement of his eyes meant the he was unsure of something, or what may have been going through his head. She did not want to go in circles, but she thought she would give him one more option before she chose. "I will let you decide with which you are more comfortable." She desperately wanted to take off his current mask herself, but she subdued this. Conner may trust her, but he could still easily harm her if she were to do so. Not to mention, she did not want to break his trust.
Conner stood, walked toward the cabinet and removed the domino, placing it back in its rightful place. Conner then turned, his face cold and emotionless. "That was not one of the options Madam Donovan." Conner said and turned toward the basement, opening the door and making his way down the steps. Ariana will notice that the file was left on the end table where it was set.
Damn you Conner, Ariana thought. She stood up and was about to walk to her bedroom and saw the file. She picked it up and paused in thought. She wanted to just toss it down the stairs, but that would be rude. Ariana quickly walked over to the top of the stairs, she opened the door but did not walk down the stairs. "Mister Greyson, you forgot your file." She backed away from the door and slightly into the kitchen. Her face was vacant of emotion, mainly so she would not appear to be in the state she was really in, livid.
Within a moment, less then a moment, a blink of an eye. A masked man appears before her. Looking at her in the eye. His eyes gave a confident calm, "Did he 'Ana, Did he really?"
The masked man took the file out of her hand and tossed it down the steps. It could be heard ting ting tinging off the concrete floor. "Did you miss me?" he asked with an evil chuckle in the back of his throat before disappearing in a blaze of speed and appearing back on the couch. Yes it was that mask, the mask that was in the locked case. A locked case that was empty and had been for, well Ariana did not know how long because she didn't look.
Ariana's eyes fluttered as she was quite startled by what she saw and darted into the living room. She walked into the living room to where Conner, or Grey was seated. She stood in the middle of the room facing him. "Miss you? I am not certain that is the term I would use." Her patience was being tested. "So, why the mask this time?" Her voice remained calm despite her thoughts.
"I don't understand the question?" The Mask asks. If a mask could look questioning that is how Grey would look right now.
Ariana had forgotten that the two were separate entities. "I apologize Mr. Grey." She paused, "That is who I am speaking to, correct?"
"Mmhmm" Grey said with a nod, "Do you think Conner would call you by your first name? Let alone a nickname?" *beat* "So what do you want?"
"Yes, you are correct." Ariana was recalling questions that she had mentally ticked away. She slowly sat at the opposite end of the couch and asked, "Why did Conner avoid me, which I thought was intentional. Then, when I thought that is what he wanted, seemed to have turned it around and assumed that I was avoiding him?" It was the main question she wanted answered.
"Pretty sure Conner said nothing about Avoiding you or him. Conner doesn't avoid you. He is deliberate. Everything he does is for a reason. If he is done talking, he is done talking." Grey said, with a chuckle.
"You forget Ariana, I know what Conner sees and does, he doesn't know what I do." the mask pauses for a moment before saying, "My turn, why did he leave the file up here? The second time not the first."
"One of two reasons, I suppose." Ariana inquisitively replied, "Either he actually forgot, or he wanted me to follow him. Since he only does things with reason, I would venture to guess the latter."
"That... and his curse." Grey said with a placating hand gesture, palms up and fingers partially splayed out.
Ariana had a puzzled look on her face, "His curse? What is this curse you speak of?" She wondered why Grey's hands were up in the air looking a little like jazz hands.
"Well you do know he has an Eidetic memory don't you?" Grey asked?
"Well, I knew he had a sharp memory, but would that actually be a curse?" She replied.
"Think about it, he remembers everything. Everything. Every nightmare, every painful memory. Everything. Crystal as it was yesterday. Which means a few things, one of which is that everything he does is for a reason. Cause he doesn't want to fuck up because it will haunt him forever. Could you imagine, being alive for an eternity and never forgetting anything. Shit and people wonder why he is bat shit crazy and has an imaginary friend." Grey said with a snort.
Ariana was quiet for a moment. Everything finally added up. She had pieced things together before, but hearing it just made it all the more true. Hence all the more reason she would never lie to Conner. "I understand now. So back to the file. He left it so I would find it."
"You ever have a date with a guy, take him back to your place and he leaves something there for an excuse to call you later?" Grey asks.
Attempting to recall memories before she was embraced, Ariana shook her head no. "No, that never happened to me." She had a smirk on her face. "Is this what Conner was attempting to do?"
"He is giving you an opening to talk to him." Grey says, "He isn't just going to open up to you 'Ana. Honestly he probably can't."
"So what else do you want to know?"
"Well, there are a few things. First, how would Conner react if I were to be involved with someone. Second, is there any questions that you think Conner may have for me?" On her mental list of items, these were the most important for the moment. Ariana was actually worried what Conner would do if he saw her with anyone. What she felt for him may have been foolish to some, but she had her reasons for everything. She assumed in his eyes, that telling him would be a sign of weakness considering he knew her past more than anyone else. Yet even he did not know the full extent of it all.
Grey thought for a moment before saying, "Honestly, I don't think Conner would give two shits who you're letting diddle you. But don't expect him to stop being your protector and don't expect him to stop looking out for you. Even if you are nailing a guy, well, he is nailing you." Grey said.
"As far as questions for you. That I don't know, that's something you will have to ask him."
Ariana's face changed to an expression of slight shock from Grey's crass words. "You are right, I should ask him. Although, I feel at times, that I am forcing him to do something he does not want to do." She really wished that she had made her decision of whom to speak with originally.
"Well, maybe he needs the kick in the ass. Sometimes people have to do shit they don't want to do, my other half included" Grey said. "So, anything else?" the Shadow of the Priscus of Shadow's asks.
Ariana rose from the couch and walked to the masks on the wall. "Well, given that I should talk to Conner about such things, I do not believe so. Yet," she paused, "I do wonder why you only appear in just the one mask and none of the others." Her back was facing Conner/Grey at for the moment while she studied a few of them.
"How many faces do you have?" Grey asks.
Thinking of how to answer that, she looked at one particular mask. "I could say two perhaps. One that everyone sees and other that hardly any know."
There she goes and gets all philosophical and stuff... "Yeah, but how many physical faces do you have? Do you take that one off and put on another one? Naw I'm guessing not. Same here. I don't know why this is the face I am stuck with, any more then you are stuck with that one." Grey says. "This was the first mask he got though, was given to him by the old man. Why I am locked to it. I don't know, some screwed up part of his already fractured mind."
"Well, not everyone is perfect, including myself." Glancing over in the direction of Grey. "I would like to speak to Conner, if you please."
"Very Well." Grey says and closes his eyes for a moment before reaching back and undoing the clips and removing the mask. Conner ran his hand through his matted hair as he looked up to Ariana. "Madam Donovan, How can I help you?" Conner looked with a far away look in his eyes. Kind of like someone who just woke up and doesn't know for sure if he is awake yet. Conner sets the mask down on the end table next to him.
Ariana turned from the masks on the wall and looked at Conner. She was not sure where to begin, so many things she wanted to know and to discuss. Yet, a very small part of her was still leery of him. "Mister Greyson, why do we still seem like strangers to each other?" She calmly asked.
"It is because you are afraid of me," Conner says, "And I am antisocial." Conner said with a quiet but frank tone, looking up to the woman and, perhaps for the first time, looks at her in the eyes.
"Well, I recall you teaching me that I should be, that or always cautious." Ariana said quietly thinking about the past. "Is that history now?"
"Facts are facts Madam Donovan. I warned you not to trust me, and you don't. At the time that was the correct thing to do. But do I think that has changed? Yes I do, but that is due to the evolution of our relationship. Before I was simply an employee, a hired blade. We had a business relationship. Now we are oath-sworn to each other and are in a coterie." Conner paused for a moment before saying, "Knowing me as well as you do, would I have joined in a coterie and offered to share a haven with someone I did not trust?"
Ariana walked closer to him and for a moment debated, then sat a couple of feet from him on the couch. Since Grey told her one thing, she did not want to appear to know more than she should so she asked simply. "Do you feel like you need to protect me?"
"Yes I do." Conner said answering honestly wondering where that question came from.
"Why do you want to protect me?" Ariana asked honestly.
"Several reasons. It started as a duty, then it became habit, then it became necessary. Now though, after everything, it is because I choose too." Conner says answering the question.
Ariana thought for a moment. Sometimes she felt like a crowbar would be easier to use. She looked in Conner's eyes. "Please tell me honestly, why do you choose to do so?" She paused, "And Conner, you can also ask me anything."
Conner's eyebrow raised for just a moment at the usage of his first name, "I protect you because I want to, because I choose to, and because I care about your well being. Would you rather I didn't protect you Madam Donovan?" Conner asked.
Ariana shook her head, "No." She paused, continuing to look in his eyes. "Considering I would and have done the same for you. I see your point." There was so much more she wanted to say, and being a journalist, a loss for words was nearly unheard of for her, but finding them this time was difficult.
"Madam Donovan, will you do me a small favor?" Conner asks.
"What is it you wish?" She replied inquisitively.
"Speak your mind please, if you do not you are wasting my time." Conner says without hint of frustration or anger.
Ariana turned away from Conner, smoothing her skirt for a moment and folding her hands in her lap. "I told you before I cared for you. It runs deeper than that. None of it makes sense. It is as if when you read my mind it only made it stronger, when I know it should have done the opposite. Because I ..." She paused cutting herself off for a moment, then it sounded like she intentionally changed direction. "I wish I knew what you truly thought, or what you wanted from me." Her voice was calm despite the slight undertone of defeat, or perhaps her last ounce of hope.
"Can you read minds?" Conner asked seriously.
"No, I cannot." She says plainly.
"Then knowing what I truly think is not possible." Conner said "Perhaps one day that will change." Conner said and looked for a moment like he was going to get up and walk away but he does something rather surprising and turns back to Ariana and says, "Ask me anything, I will do my best to answer it honestly."
Turning to Conner and looking in his eyes, Ariana spoke with a slightly apprehensive tone. "Do you feel anything more than the need to protect me?" Pausing briefly, "What do you want from me?" She wondered to herself if he would ever say what he was thinking, or if this was going to be pointless.
"I feel... something, but I am unsure as to what it is." Conner says honestly, "I feel something..." Conner looks up to Ariana and has a look of honest surprise on his face. "I feel something, that is very ... interesting."
"Perhaps if you tell me what it is like to feel I can give you a better description of what I am feeling currently?" Conner asked.
Ariana was also somewhat surprised. She had intricately described so many events for work, but to explain emotions, this would be difficult. She turned to him a bit more her eyes fixed on his with a soft voice she tried to explain. "If you feel such a strong need to protect me, that is an emotion. When one person would stop at nothing for another person's safety it is type of physical response to something emotionally deeper."
She took his hand and put it in the same spot when he had read her mind. "It is a trust that can bond two people together. It is when someone is on your mind when they are not around. When you will stop at nothing for them no matter what the consequences." Pausing to think of how she felt at the moment, but trying to find the words. "It is as if something is running through your veins that is indescribable. It makes you want to act on your impulses to bind your feelings both emotionally and physically. Not quite the same as the want for blood, but it can be powerful." Ariana actually had no idea what it was like to be entirely physical since she was embraced, but she did her best. She was fighting the urge to show him how she felt. Yet, she was also compelled to hear what he had to say.
"Is this how you feel about me?" Conner asked Ariana unsure as what to make of the conversation as it stands now. He also thought to Thomas and wondered what his feelings were on the situation. He did not want Ariana's irrational emotions complicating the Triumvir as it stands now.
Ariana was suddenly uncomfortable. She had let go of his hand and stood up as she spoke. "You asked for a description so that is what I gave." She said softly as she walked to the masks again. Her unlife has been complicated, why should she expect it to change. She continued, "You know I would protect you if it is in my power to do so." Her voice still soft, but emotionless. After over a year, she came to a realization; none of it mattered and it was back to business, always business. If he could not understand emotions, then she could not tell him what she thought.
"You sound like me." Conner says making note of the emotional void in her voice. Conner thought for a moment. Wondering about all of this, wondering why he kept protecting her. Wondering why he was so angry when he had thought she had betrayed her. Is anger not an emotion though? Conner thought.
"Perhaps it is not I am emotionless, perhaps it is just that i do not understand emotions. And because I do not understand them I have become incapable of them"
"Well that and what happened when you were a kid doesn't exactly help with the whole 'comprehending emotions normally' thing."
"Quiet Grey. I am thinking."
"Just trying to help..."
"Shut up," Conner thinks to Grey "Perhaps my drive to protect her, assist her and keep her safe is because I care for her. That's it... that has to be it."
"Madam Donovan, I have come to a conclusion. My drive to protect you and and keep you safe must be a sign that I care for you. I believe that I am capable of this emotion, and I am experiencing it now, i just do not understand it." Conner says wondering what her response will be.
Ariana's back was still to him. She feared if she turned around her face would betray her thoughts. "Yes, Mister Greyson, that could be. There are many different emotions. Some are good, some are bad." She paused in thought for a moment. "Why is it you do not understand emotions?" It was a logical question. She had already given up, she may as well ask.
"Grey thinks that it is related to my childhood but I have know way of knowing for sure." Conner said looking to the back of her head. "Madam Donovan, you are avoiding me." Conner said.
"It is unfortunate that you have no way of knowing and that you are unfamiliar with emotions." She turned to look at him, several of her emotions were written on her face. The most prevalent was defeat mixed with sadness and perhaps a hint of something deeper she tried to cover beneath the others. "Or perhaps it is fortunate. Maybe you are lucky to not have to endure things tied to emotions." Her hands were clasped together at length in front of her.
"You are sad, why?" Conner asked. Just because he did not feel sadness doesn't mean he did not recognize it.
Now it was Ariana's turn to want to suddenly leave the room. Instead she sat on the opposite end of the couch and replied calmly, "Because yes, I have those feelings I described for you. I should not have pressed this issue. I know I have to let it go." She paused and glanced over to him. "Know this, I will never betray your trust." If there was one time she wished Mr. Brandt called, it would have been at that moment.
"Why must you let it go?" Conner asked. "What can I do to make you not sad?" Conner asked with a bewildered look on his face not fully understanding.
"Because I am fairly certain I just complicated, well, everything." She turned to head to look at him. "I am sorry for bringing this up." She never knew before that he did not fully understand emotions, social interaction and she may have only hit the surface. "What do you think you should do to make me not sad?"
"You continue to apologize for something?" Conner says with a question in his voice. As she asks her next question Conner thinks for a minute before leaning into her and giving her a kiss. It is not deep, it is not passionate, but it is better then the odd peck he gave her before. And at least he is trying. "Was that okay?" Conner asks sounding somewhat insecure and bewildered.