Teach me Maestro Monkee

[Circe]

"Hmmm," she thinks on that. Though she didn't think turning into a bug would be useful, it would be easier to bribe them. "Not really seeing the advantage of turning into a bug, though if they can see in the dark?" Circe nods to herself, "Something to research I guess."


She smirks as Sonja pats the messenger bag. "Ah. Bribery and brown nosing? Sounds like the totems are old school politicians, oh ho ho ho!" Circe found the idea funny. "Probably harm their foes would work too. Hurt spiders to save bugs. Hurt cats to ensnare the rat. Shoot eagles to attract owls," the violent option that was. "Though, that makes it hard to get the opposite's totem I would guess."


That made sense to her at any rate. Then she realized what was a way that would cover most things. "Conservation work ain't it?"


Circe nods in agreement with Sonja, "They have everything they can get in the Hedge. Kind of why Ironside stuff that works over there can be valuable. Buuut we don't want them to get guns, they got enough already." She thinks on the other options, "Spices, sweets, and Velcro would probably be things that'd trade well. Spices at least I KNOW work. Old school barter. Long lasting, useful."

[Sonnie Wu]

"Some bugs can see in the dark," Sonnie confirmed.

"Yeeeeaaaaah," she stretched the word out as Circe spoke of slaughtering animals, a skeptical look on her face, "I wouldn't recommend killing a bunch of eagles. Or cats. Please don't do that. Aside from the animal cruelty issue, the totems aren't vindictive like that. The deer totem doesn't hate wolves, for instance. It understands it's place in the food chain."

Then she nodded, "Yes, conservation. That's why I recommended shelters and refuges."

"Well," the Beast shrugged, "I'll leave the goblin market haggling to you. It'd be your deal to make."

[Circe]

"Ah," Circe nods in thanks to Sonnie, "I'll look 'em up then. Shouldn't be hard to leave out candy bars."


As the wise monkey confirms the foolish blueberry's violence being a bad choice, Circe rises from her chair. She raises both hands, palms up, and shakes her head, "Hey, bad ideas are important to air so you can be told how shit they are."


She then moves to get the dessert open, uncovering it. She retrieves a pie cutter, chopping out an 1/6 slice to give to Sonja. "I know, I know, not the whole thing? Counterpoint!" She gives Sonja the slice, "Ya get ta take some home for breakfast. And I want to eat too."


She takes her own slice and sets it on her plate. Then leaves to the kitchen. She comes back with a couple glasses of water. Just in case it is hard to swallow. "So," she puts down he waters and then takes her seat again. "That was, uh, mostly what I wanted to ask about. Ya shared a lot of wisdom Sonja." She smirks, "Save ya never figured out if the bulletproof gimp suits are too much for shape shifting, oh ho ho ho!"


She takes a bite of the dessert after that. Okay. It was good. The crust a little dry, but not terrible. "Any ideas for future trouble we could make? I am irked by the boredom, we should destroy it. No underground rail cart races," Circe starts to point her fork at Sonja. Stops. Licks it clean. Then points it at Sonja, "We only have one track! Whoever is in second is always going to lose. Unless you want to lay down a second set of tracks over several miles, it is a no. I'm bit gonna od it. I'd rather try teaching someone to drive stick."

She sits back and digs into the dessert more.

[Sonnie Wu]

"The key is to leave the natural order as it is. That's why I suggested going after poachers. Those assholes aren't natural." Sonnie nodded confidently, then was instantly distracted by the pie. Her eyes followed Circe's movement as the dessert was cut and served. She smiled happily as she accepted her piece. "Oooooo! Thanks! It's cool! Share the pie!"

By the time the Fairest had returned with the water, the Beast had devoured half of her slice. Cheeks full of pie and shrugged remorsefully, "I'll see if I can find the suit thingie and give it a shot. I know I still got it somewhere." She hadn't cleaned her closet in years, honestly.

Sonnie, perhaps out of wanting to do something funny, held her fork with her tail and ate her pie that way. "You're making an Temple of Doom ride?"

[Circe]

Circe quirks an eyebrow at the prospect of natural order protection and cycles. She wasn't into the deep thoughts. Too aggressive to be hip. And she probably sold guns to poachers too. And to poacher killers, given what one was looking for. "Eh," she shrugs, "Would need to plan for stopping poachers," she admits. "Guarantee I'd win the shootout," equal confidence to Sonja's displayed, "But retrieving all their corpses to dump in the Hedge? That'd be annoying grunt work."


"If it does work, wait a minute," she looks down at the pie in thought then back up at Sonja, "Can't use your phone when a monkey. Guessing armor that ain't Hedgespun ta shift with won't work when you go full furry either, right? So, no bulletproof monkey times. Ya'd need a second suit for that."


Which was a little tempting to make. It'd be adorable. Well, "No, I'd probably get distracted and make a adorable monkey you sized outfit. Sorry."


As for the Temple of Doom ride, "Butcher shop can sell ya hearts to burn oh ho ho ho!" She mostly kids. "But GPS showed it about 25 miles of additional track ya'd need o lay down to set up a sort of Temple cart race. Sort of," she tries to figure out how to describe it to Sonja. "Kinda like it was mixed with a gondola and cross country skiing. Your arms will be sore at the end."


Then she smirks, "Plus ya don't have the shitty challenge of climbing the toilet pyramid before hand. I put in, uh, set of stairs." Sonja can practically hear the italics in there. Wooden pallets, clay filling, and a pool deck plastic stairs were not quite a set of stairs. "That, and bat cave entrances are more a priority for me in the, Funderland Tunnels?"


Circe scowls. She doesn't like that. "Sonja?! Does Underland sound better than Funderland Tunnels?"

[Sonnie Wu]

The Beast shrugged, "I don't doubt you'd win." Always bet on the Summer Monarch in a fight.

She ate more pie as she listened to, and considered, Circe's theories. "I'd have to set my phone down first, then change, but I could talk and text just fine, 'cuz monkey hands. Oh, did I point that out? You can talk normally in animal form. Oh, and you can talk to the animals, too, while you're in their form, and gain their senses, so you don't have to use the earlier clauses."

Another shrug, "But yeah, the armor would disappear when you change, so no benefit unless you donned it afterward. And had a suit designed for the animal body."

Sonnie laughed at the idea of a rhesus-sized body suit, "My monkey form isn't for fighting, anyway. It's more for sneakiness. It's small and can fit in air vents and stuff. I considered gorilla, but I can already fight really good in my human form."

"Ah, that's a shame. Temple of Doom ride sounded really awesome, though I dunno where you'd get lava from."

Stairs or not were irrelevant to the Steepscrambler. She never needed them, anyway. "Underland?" She mulled it over a moment, then nodded, "Yes, that's better."

[Circe]

"Oh," she nods as Sonja reveals the magical talking animal thing is legit. Makes sense a little. "So, if an animal talks to me it MAY not be due to being drugged," Circe nods, "Good to know."


She was a bit disappointed that the suit thing wasn't going to work She eats more pie slice. Num num. "Okay, I guess it can't be that bullshit." The Queen nods as she thinks on things. "Makes sense. Kinda why I went with Separation and skin suit for camo or escape. I have plenty of guns for combat." Speaking of combat, "Weren't ya trying to add fireworks to your staff? I remember something about Oh Great Tim from Monty Python wasn't it?"


Then she perks up with a smile, ears bouncing. "Idea. So, if ya want to carry stuff after changing, ya'd hafta pocket a little backpack or vest." It made sense to her. "Like a lockpick, your phone, a key or something in your pockets along with the vest." Circe keeps going, "Vest easier to fold in a pocket than a backpack? Probalby. Take out the vest, secure stuff, and then change. Bang, tiny stealthy form with an extra tool."


It was something to think about as Circe rambled on her thoughts.


Circe did know a way to get lava without drilling, but that was from a television show. "I've only heard of one way to make real lava, buuuut in involves a lot of sand and melting uranium fuel rods." She smirks at Sonja, "Even I'm not crazy enough to mess with that much sand."


"Win!" The Larcenist cheers at the agreement. That was a good success to her. "Sounds a little like something familiar from somewhere, can't remember what it was? Ünderland maybe? Remember that from somewhere, no idea where though."

Not like she or Sonja could just look it up on their phone.

[Sonnie Wu]

"No, that was YOU who wanted to add explosives to my staff. I never agreed to that." Wait, did she? No, pretty sure she didn't. Maybe.

Sonnie laughed, "Sure, get yourself a little harness with pouches. They probably make those. Check Etsy or something?" More pie was enjoyed!

"Yeah," she agreed, "Sand is coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

Setting her empty plate aside, she shrugged. "Gonna make signs? Underland! Abandon Hope All Ye who... enter here? Is that how that goes?" She can do the Star Wars sand quote not the Dante's Divine Comedy one, apparently.

[Circe]

Circe clutches her chest, "Oh, shocked gasp," she actually says it. "You would dare to accuse me of such pyromania?" It was certainly possible. "I am certain that I'd try to get you to use a Uzi first. Or the AK like that one chimp in that movie. But Fireworks only? Harrumph I say to that. Very harrumph."


The smile was a clear sign of jest. If the insane dialogue wasn't a hint.


"Okay," the smile fades as her ears lower down. "I will have to say harrumph again on the idea of ME going to Etsy." She takes another bite of pie, glaring at Sonja. "I created bone plate armor. A skin suit of silicon. A dress made of moonlight, that disintegrated on removal. And then a skin suit of bulletproof fibers." She points the fork at Sonja again, "Do you really think I couldn't make a harness after getting the animal form measurements?"


She nods in approval at the movie reference. "It also has toothy worms in it, yeeek," she sticks out her tongue. "Why do all the movies with sand have monsters in the sand?"


Circe wasn't so sure, emptying her own plate. "Who is Hope and what did they do to be abandoned in Underland?" A pause, "Oh ho ho ho! But no," she shakes her head, "I'd neither label it for the mundy trespassers, nor do I think that is how it goes in Star Wars. I think it was, that will do nicely. Um, about the slug cave asteroid, right?"


She had not read the Divine Comedy. She had seen Star Wars though.

[Sonnie Wu]

"I DO Dare!" The Monkey nodded confidently. "Giving me firearms, though, is probably a bad idea."

She held up her hands in mock surrender, "Okay, okay! I forgot you never buy anything and make everything yourself. I guess you could Hedgespin the thing."

"No," Sonnie admitted after a moment or two of thought, "Not all of them. I don't think there were any monsters in Lawrence of Arabia."

Her head tilted to one side, "I don't think the space slug asteroid had any signs."