Peter follows after Joseph. "That wasn't what I... nevermind." Peter breathes in, simply so he could let out an exasperated sigh. "So, still working on Stakey McTorpor then huh? Without un-stakeying him? I can help if we decide to pull the stick out of him, as I have a few ideas how to make the workable, but..."
Peter's voice trails off, seemingly lost in thought as the two approach the library.
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Joseph continues to walk towards the library as Peter follows him. "The members of the Circle and Lancea that I contacted have not gotten back to me yet. Yes we are trying to determine if we can leave him staked. I'm not sure it would be best for the domain if he was unstaked or best for anyone around him. Expect the Prince and his Hounds."
Because the Prince staked the bastard in one go.....
"Well, I know this sounds pretty brutal, but if we remove the bones from his legs -- I saw that in a movie -- and either destroy his eyes or blindfold him or something... it cuts down on just how big a threat he is. I mean, I get we have capabilities, but... if you literally don't have bones in your legs, I don't care how much you can raise your strength, you're not standing till it heals, you know?" Peter says thoughtfully as he walks with his fellow Dragon.
"I suppose then our biggest fear would be him healing much faster than we planned on, or him turning into a vaporous cloud and drifting away. But I don't know, he doesn't seem the vaporous cloud type to me."
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Joseph stops and looks at Peter. A look of concern and horror show on his face. "Yes that would work...." He pauses. "The kindred had scales on him, that is something I did not know was possible with Protean. I would not put it past him... Though your idea to.. uh... render him less of a threat might be useful.."
"I'm not a fan of the idea, but I had the idea mostly because I did a lot of thinking. Limitations, stuff like that. So much of our body just seems to be superfluous now... but while on a good day we can all but ignore bullets and fists and whatnot, we have very real physical limitations. We still need skeletal support. I am assuming we still need musculature of some level to contract and expand to move said skeletal support."
Peter opens the library door and walks in. "Consider: We can turn into a mist. Well, we have that potential. We can turn into animals. There are rumors of others turning into living shadow or some such. Yet by and large, we remain physically unchanged. How did someone figure out how to turn their body from a very human thing to a shadow? What was the process like? I mean at least with, say, a wolf... there are some similarities, something to draw from. But a shadow? And if they can do that, what else can we do? We have a scaled individual. But, what if instead of scales we could simply shift our skin to something akin to metal? Would we need bone then, or would the rigidness of our reformed flesh support us? How much of what we do is because it's cool, and how much of it is a result of adaptation for survival? And how much of this might actually hold secrets to changing more than our bodies? Because I'm pretty sure deciding to change into shadow required some sort of shift in mindset and/or perception. It isn't even remotely human, or even animal."
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Joseph remains stationary as Peter walks past him. A hidden intellectual? He follows Peter into the library.
"I have never even considered that. Do you plan on looking into that more? Surely there is something worthwhile to be discovered."
"That's my biggest problem. I mean, I suppose I theoretically have all eternity, but I have so much going on in my head. Sometimes I think my biggest problem -- at least as far as the Order is concerned -- is that it's difficult to pick one path and go with it, when you have three other paths that have their own appeal, you know? That being said," and at this point, Peter plops himself down in a chair, "I really think I want to look into the spirits. After all... changing our body obviously isn't the key -- or at least, the only key -- to what we're searching for."
Peter runs his hand through his hair and continues. "I mean, I'm pretty sure changing your body into something different, and the change in mindset that accompanies it, isn't enough... or else we'd be there. So... what's left? A change in spirit? Or a harmoneous change in all three -- body, mind, soul -- to transcend? What sucks is that in all these years, there's no confirmed case of our goal being reached... not even strong rumors, except maybe Vlad. Maybe."
"When you can do anything you want, for all eternity, where the fuck do you start?" Peter asks, propping his feet up on a table. "I agree, there is no doubt something worthwhile to be discovered... but 'worthwhile' and 'transcendence' aren't the same thing. I mean, having my comic shop go back to it's later hours would be worthwhile... but I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna find Shangri-La that way, ya know? So anyway... I'm really curious about the spirits. I want to try picking their... well, I don't know if 'brains' is the right word. 'Stores of knowledge.'"
Peter contemplates for a moment, before asking a question. "What do we know about the Beast inside us? I mean, there's what we get told, but what do we know? I mean... is it our Id given more potency? Is is alien, a spirit, or what? Is it an extension of us, or it's own entity? If it IS it's own entity, how does that factor into survival instinct? How does our survival instinct factor into our abilities? I mean, I can't believe some old Gangrel was scratching his ass on a tree one night and thought, "Boy, I really wish I could turn into a fine mist and float around for a while." Something like that just screams 'My blood did something weird so I could survive.' And, if that IS the case, what else could our blood do? And does that even tie into Transcendence? Maybe it works against our goals?"
Pete looks to Joseph. "Sorry, I don't usually vent this way, but... I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed, pretty much since I arrived in the city. So many questions, but at the end of the day, we don't really have answers. It makes me wonder if we're even asking the right questions, y'know man?"
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Joseph sits when Peter does and listens to the monologue. This is what a Dragon asks and why Peter is a Dragon makes sense now. Joseph leans forward in the chair.
"I think you are asking the right questions Peter. Those are the sort of questions that we joined the Ordo to answer. In fact." Joseph smiles and leans back into his chair.
"I don't see a reason why not. Like you said we have eternity and we have access to the Chapter House." He waves a hand in the air.
"So where do you want to start? Increasing your ability in Protean is only something you can do. But with this and the other resources we will have access to. We can start looking into what ever we want. Let's focus though. You want to look at the Beast more, to figure out what it is yes?"
"I meant, as an Order, I wonder if we're asking the right questions. Take the Coils. They're useful to be sure, and they mitigate some of our shortcomings... but are we changing ourselves, or just doing a slapdash fix on what's broken? Reducing limitations isn't the same as becoming more. For that matter, what IS Transcendence? I've heard Dragons suggest it's a perfection of our form, I've heard them suggest it's returning to what we were with greater experiences and knowledge, I've heard others suggest it's moving as far beyond Vampires as we are beyond humans."
Peter pops his neck, and continues. "That's the problem I have with so much of our society, our Order. We have names for everything, but it seems no one agrees on the meanings. We don't agree on Transcendence, we don't know our Beast... how do we hope to overcome what we don't understand when we can't agree what we're working for? And as nice as it would be to simply say, 'We'll know it when it happens,' it sounds like a cop-out from someone who's hoping to get lucky."
Peter drops his feet and stands up, walking to a wall of books. "My biggest problem is I WANT to do about six things at once. The more I think, the more that number increases, as you can guess. God, if I could pull a Jamie Madrox... Anyway, the best I can come up with is sticking with my original plan. There's a reason it seemed like the best course of action out of the gate. I'm going to try the spirits. I don't think they're spirits as in souls, but it's worth a shot. For that, I need a Locus. And damn sure not the one in Inferno. After I do what I can with spirits, learn what I can, I need to understand myself. The Beast. I just don't think we can really move on, until we have that understanding. And I don't mean the Coil where I keep a cooler head or whatever. I mean learning just what this force inside us is. Because really, if it's a part of us it's going to be dealt with a hell of a lot differently than if it is it's own separate entity. I really think that's going to decide how I try to beat this... to Transcend. Because one thing I will say, is I never asked to be a Vampire. I feel like I'm making due with a pair of sixes and an ace in a national poker league game."
Turning from the books, Peter looks to Joseph. "So tell me something. My introspection aside, what are your thoughts? Why has the Order been around so long and we don't have a single success story? How are you approaching your own quest? Any idea what the key that everyone seems to be missing is?"
Peter walks back towards Joseph, and cracks the smile everyone in the Order knows all too well. "And if we figure this thing out, wanna help me write Vampire self help books?"
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Joseph chuckles at the idea of Vampire self help books. "I would use a different term than self help. That might offend some of the more shall we say head strong members of our society. My own thoughts? I think that the Ordo has survived for this long because we are all not satisfied with what we are. I don't know if I choose to be embraced or if it was involuntary. Only that I had to fight my way out of a tomb to see the night's sky again. Joseph Hartman isn't even the name I had in life. I was given it when I emerged into the night. I had defeated another childe of my Sire who had been thrown in the night before and when I emerged I was given his name."
Joseph glances around the library. "Right now I am unsure of how to progress personally. The Coils are something that has promise. If we can overcome some of the more aggravating deficiencies of these forms then who is to say that we can not overcome it all together? As to what Transcendence is, I don't know. It might be personal to each kindred or some mystery that we still have not uncovered yet. A key? There might be one. I haven't the slightest idea what it might be though. A guess would do that Torpor could hinder our efforts. I have heard that the deep sleep destroys our memories and turns them all into a jumble of memories, dreams, and nightmares."
"One guess as to why we don't have any success stories is that anyone who attained it might not wish to let others know. Imagine if you spent centuries unlocking the mysteries of our curse and then manage to escape it. If you went public every kindred more powerful than you would try to take that knowledge or make you teach them it. Hiding would make sense to me or to continue studying and pretend as though you aren't something more."
He leans forward curiosity evident on his face. "What is a locus? I am not familiar with that word nor how it relates to spirits."
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