Teach me Maestro Monkee

[Circe]

"Ah," Circe was less then thrilled by that answer. For work purposes, it meant she could fly a ton of guns south of the border. Might be able to fly money north though. "So, ninja suit and 45 pistol fine. Staff, longarm, subbie ,and bear proof riot armor? Contract nope out on that. I really should'a gotten the RPG. Hmm. I wonder how much extra ya can carry aside from clothes. Oh, yeah think bigger animal lets the Contract Bear with larger extra?"


She thinks for a moment. "Did I give ya one of those armored skin suits? I was thinking it'd be useful for gun running, smuggling, or such but sounds like a cooler and temporary gate could be more relia, uh, better, umm," she blushes as she recalls how that had gone once. 4 out of 5 wasn't terrible for success. 2 out of 5 without complication was not. "More feasible. Right, feasible is the word. It can work. Is it mammals only? No birds?"

That was the other issue to her question. She could use the Contract for more amusing reasons, but clearly not for bringing guns to a sale. Leaving a sale with the money though? That might work.

[Sonnie Wu]

"Naw," she said, taking a sip of her drink, "Animal type don't matter. But I suppose you could still pick up and carry a rocket launcher as a bear."

"Armored skin suit? Oh, yeah. I got that. Somewhere." In the back of her closet, maybe? What the hell did she do with it?

Anyway, she refocused on the topic at hand, "No, any animal is fine. Birds, reptiles, fish, bugs, whatever. The contract can only be made with one animal type, though." She took another sip. "And you got to narrow it down a bit. Mammals would be too broad, but you could contract with felines or rodents or ursines. If you want variety you'll have to forge multiple contracts. Like, I got one with primates, and one with canines."

[Circe]

"Sad. But no," she shakes her head at the prospect of a rocket launcher bear. [COLOR=#ffd700]"Artillery bears are wojtek, the Polish War Bear]Polish. I'm Italian."

Then nods as Sonja explains the restrictions on the functionality of the contract. That was useful to know. "Neat, even if the restrictions are less then stellar. That is the nature of contracts." She nods, "I can phase through anything and not be harmed be anything, yet the price to get away with it without cost is so terrible." And Circe's ears droop as she sounds to have genuine despair. "No weapons. Not even a dinky derringer. Or any armor. That is a steep price for such benefits for free."


Sonja should be hear that Circe isn't faking the despondence at the price. Circe actually thinks it is a horrible price. Gun bunny indeed.


"Wait, multi contracts would, no no no no," she shakes her head before Sonja can hear the question. "Ya wouldn't be able to turn into some wolfbat hybrid or something. Ya'd have bragged about it already if ya could," the blueberry nods and grabs a few more cuts of fish. Munch. "How hard is it too learn this stuff? Owls could save may on night vision goggles. Plus, Rowling humor."

[Sonnie Wu]

The Beast blinked in surprise, "Wait, artillery bears? Is that a real thing?" If so, it was news to her.

After listening to more of Circe's ideas and questions, she thought a moment. "Like an owlbear or a griffon? I dunno." She ate another bite of the salmon and chewed in thought. "I've heard of Chimeras, Beasts made up of more then one animal. Not sure if the Contract would extend to such creatures, though."

"You don't even need to turn into an owl for that. The critter's senses is an earlier clause. It goes..." she counted them off on her fingers, "First you learn to talk to the animal, and understand them. With the right type they make great spies. Like rats. They're everywhere and hear a lot." She held up two fingers, "Then you can gain their senses, including stuff like an owl's night vision or a bloodhound's nose."

"Third, you can control the animals of that type, like command a pack of wolves. More useful if you have some around, of course. Not a lot of wolves in Sacramento."

Four fingers, "Then you can move like the animal. Run like a cheetah, swim like a dolphin, jump like a frog." She grinned, "I can climb really well already, but with my contract I'm like ten times better and faster. Super monkey climbing!" She shrugged, "Before you ask, it won't let you fly. Flying animals just let you jump father and not get hurt if you fall from a roof or something."

"Shapeshifting is the final clause," she nodded to herself, "And fair warning: While the other clauses are more open-ended, the shapeshifting is for one specific animal. Not just any of the type. I can turn into a rhesus monkey, but that's it. I can't turn into a gorilla or a lemur."

[Circe]

"Yup," she nods and pops in fig. Yum. "Poles taught the bear ta lift the shells for 'em. And drink beer. And smoke cigarettes too of course."


As for chimera forms, she nods as that was expected. If the Contract was that versatile, then everybody would have pursued it. That and it sounded too good to be true anyway.


"Ah, of course. Of course," she nods along as Sonja lists off the power stages of the contract. "Scaled bullshit." But it did mean she only needed two bits of it to get the advantage of night vision without batteries. "I couldn't trick folks to charge me and try to fly off a cliff BEFORE I could leave no footprints." Circe understands how those rules worked. "Before ya ask, I will counter with a question, does bouncing count as flying to you?"


Third she could see being useful IF it was by volume instead of set numbers. "So, ya have monkey power 3. If ya had enough monkeys on hand," she finishes her fish, washing it down. "Ah. Then ya could go fly my pretties, swarm them," and made an imitation of the Wicked Witch's laugh. "Or is it a singles thing? Because, I've read Wildbow. Swarming little minions can be very lethal."


As for the movement thing, Circe scoffs at that, "Don't ya already have that power? The whole, parkour thing? I mean, I already got it too. First stage of the whole unicorn thing of phasing through shit."


That wasn't accurate. Circe could gently walk off the 30th floor with some light bruising. Parkour didn't do that.

[Sonnie Wu]

Sonnie looked a little stunned at the description of Polish artillery bears. "Uh, that sounds so wrong. Like, bear abuse."

Shaking her head, she moved on. "Bouncing? Like Gummy Bears? Bouncing here and there and everywhere?" She shrugged, "Probably counts as leaping."

More salmon/hedge crab was munched. "Okay, I may have exaggerated about the pack of wolves. You can control a single animal of decent size. Little stuff, like rats or bees, you can control like a dozen at once." The Beast sighed, "Which sucks, cause a troop of monkeys would wreck havoc in the right situation. I wouldn't put them in danger, personally. I'd feel horrible if they got hurt or killed. Still, a single gorilla could scare off a lot of people." Where the hell would she even get a gorilla, though? The zoo?

Her head tilted to one side, a classic sign she was curious and/or confused, "Parkour's a skill I learned. The monkey climbing can help, though."

[Circe]

Circe misunderstood what Sonja meant, "Hangovers are something we all have to bear with. But I wouldn't try to stop a bear that wants his beer."


As for the nostalgia, she recalls seeing commercials for that 30 minute advertisement, uh, kids cartoon from the 80's. It makes her chuckle.


The minion control limits were disappointing. It had so much potential, but nope. "Well for the bees, go for the eyes I would say, oh ho ho ho!" She can understand the Beast having kinship with her mundane counterparts. It was fair enough. Though she'd have to speak with Seraphina. Sonja visiting the zoo next to Funderland to get a gorilla mook would be troublesome. She can already hear the conversation ending. "Unless you put him in a tuxedo top. Then they'll think it is a guy in a costume."


Wait, why did she suggest that? That was making it worse. Oh, right. Good reason to suggest it, she needed to be less responsible sometimes.


"Right, right," she nods as the athletic Beast confirms it. "Separation lets me walk off a ledge with little problem on the landing. Fang lets you do that with the right animal, uh, totem? Or ya do it with the parkour like some mundies do."


The Fang and Talon contract sounds like the she'd get more utility out of the second contract, especially in the Hedge. It'd save on goggles, tech ones breaking and figuring out how to Hedgespin them. "Hmm, that is certainly something I'd consider investing in. It could be useful."


She finishes her plate and empties her drink. Then stares at Sonja. "How hard is it to learn though? That is the last concern I have Sonja."

[Sonnie Wu]

Shouldn't be surprising that Sonnie knows of the Disney Gummy Bears cartoon. She actually is a kid from the 80s.

"Go for wasps. They can sting repeatedly, and bees are endangered enough as it is," she nodded, then shook her head. "Nevermind the gorilla. I don't wanna cause another Harambe."

"Mmm, yeah," the Steepscrambler said, "If the animal flies, glides or jumps, you'd get the benefit of no fall damage, as the video games call it." Technically monkeys would count as jumpers, too, but Sonnie had opted for the climbing version.

"How hard? Well, obviously it easy for Beasts. We got a natural in with the animal aspects of the Wyrd." Sonnie's monkey tail wiggled behind her. "You'd probably have to try harder. Appeal to the critter you wanna contract with. Do good deeds for them, you know?"

She looked up at the ceiling as she thought of possibilities. "Want Dog? Volunteer at a shelter and help them get adopted. Going for Owl? That's probably trickier. Not a lot of owl sanctuaries around here. Bear? Go fuck up some poachers or something."

[Circe]

Good tactics, repeat over disposable. No clue what a Hanabe maneuver was though. "Useful, but I don't see bugs having useful information or senses to copy. Easy to bribe, leave out sugar, but not useful."


"No fall damage is fun times, really messes with mundies," Circe nods in agreement. It didn't come up much unless she took trips south. Bad customers were bad customers.


So, hippie druidism thing of communing with the animals to get the Contract? That'd be tough with most cool things. And amusing. "Don't expect many poachers in Cali," she honestly does not. And whilst doggos be cuddles, she didn't see the need for scent tracking or communication. Sonja could already translate to dog. "So, find something with night vision, give props ta the animals of that type is step 1." She holds up her left hand, index finger up. "Step 2," middle finer and silence. Then the ring finger up, "Step 3, ya got the Contract. Profit."


Bug would be easy enough. Organic bee farms or something like that. But not exactly useful for her wants. Less the long-term goal of messing with folks, more night vision that works in the Hedge.


"If step two involves communing with the inner sanctum of the mind, dream diving into the Wyrd, or other mystical stuff," she chuckles, "I am not exactly patient enough for that. Too much aggression."


After a pause, "Wait. Do ya think Goblin Markets might just sell it?"


They sold everything else. Goblin Contracts were available, so why not more stable contracts too?

[Sonnie Wu]

"You'd be surprised. Ants have an amazing sense of smell. How do you think they always find picnics? Bees have an a very acute sense of taste. A fly's eyes have like 30,000 facets and a wide field of vision, which lets them see incoming swatters." Sonnie was pretty well versed in the animal kingdom.

She nodded, "The more you help out the real world animal, the more the Wyrd totem will appreciate it. Appealing to their vanity can help, too. Wear shirts and stuff with the animal pictured on it." She patted her messenger bag, which had a monkey prominently featured on the side.

A head tilt at the Goblin Market question, "I suppose they might."