"Here it goes. When I first was Embraced me and my Sire travelled around Finland, I was ignorant in the ways of my covenant at the time and he thought it'd be good for me to learn while seeing the sights of my native country. I never found out where my Sire was from originally, but that's beside the point. In our travels we met a Kindred who had consumed his Sire and a few other Kindred as well, it was harrowing to say the least. He assumed we'd be easy prey, thankfully I knew how to fight and so did my Sire, it took a lot of effort, but we managed to bring them down. That was when I truly understood the nature of our condition, and what it can do to a person's soul.
Losh observes the Seneschal, trying to detect any boredom or discomfort. Already in too deep, and hoping that it might have piqued her curiosity, he continued.
"Wanting to turn this horrible moment into something I could learn from, my Sire assigned me to investigate the Diablerist's life and find out why he had gone against his Sire. After using the items in his possession to locate where he came from, I was led to a small cabin house in the woods. Inside were dead bodies, I presumed them to be the dead bodies of his family. Back then people were so spread apart that bodies could be lying in the middle of fields for years until they were found, and there was not much to be done about them either. I looked closely and surmised they had been dead for over a decade."
Losh pauses to take a breath, even though it's impossible for him to do so. A habit he had when telling stories he could never kick.
"That....bothered me for a long time, I still haven't really gotten over it, at least, I hoped I haven't. I guess the point of this is you don't really know how horrible something can be until you see it for yourself. It doesn't make sense, the story. Trust me, I've been trying to piece and assemble it in the right order for a long time. My Sire was right, I did learn lessons that day.
He looks up at the Seneschal.
"Some stories don't have endings, and they don't always make sense. Secondly, Leaving absolutely everything behind from when your were mortal ends badly. At least, that's my interpretation of it. Feel free to think differently."