Crystal laid on his big sofa wearing soft cotton pyjamas, listening to the Psychedelic Porn Crumpets and tripping balls. Those people that thought all drugs fogged up your mind never tried acid and were idiots in his opinion. Frankly, there seem to be a lot of idiots going around lately.

Kaze? Kind of an idiot for making Crystal open up, form a Cabal and then disappearing. The Warlock closed his eyes and nodded along to the music, focusing on the subtle overtones and background noises. It was always those more subtle things that really made things work, he realized. It's the things you don't say out loud, the things that just kinda grow on you and start changing you without you having to put yourself out there and get all vulnerable. "See, that what I should have told Belle." The sound of his own voice mixed perfectly to the instrumentals of a song about finding God in a tomato. Like a revelation that has just been waiting to become the truth by being spoken out loud. Belle meant well, but she was an idiot as well. Not everything needed to be shared and opened up about. What the fuck was there to be gained by crying over Kaze leaving?

Talk about leaving: Eulogy left for good, Guru left.. well, who fucking knew for how long the Shaman would be gone. "I need a beer." Some other idiots said one shouldn't mix substances, but Crystal's idea of self-care focused more on not thinking too much about shit he didn't want to think about and if that meant overloading his senses with other things that was a risk he was willing to take.
So the Mastigos got up and turned his body towards the kitchen. He liked that slick, elegant design. All those clean surfaces, the tasteful pops of color. "This is more welcoming than Patrick Bateman's apartment, right?" Right. A few strides and he reached the fridge, took out a bottle of beer and opened it. It tasted heavenly, bitter and like a party in his mouth. "Fuck sweet drinks. Fuck you, Matthew." So yeah, maybe there was a case to be made to work through his feelings. He apparently still held a grudge for being dumped by that Werewolf. Ugh.

Back to his comfortable island floating in his large living-room/kitchen. The album was stuck on repeat, started from the beginning again. "Fuck fresh starts, heh." Crystal fumbled on his phone and changed the playlist. With Eulogy and Guru gone there was need to keep up the idea of making a difference. Maybe he was stepping down as a Councilor all together? He and Aurora could make it a thing. But who was going to take up those duties? That guy who brought guns to the magic fight, Apollo? Belle? And no, Crystal did not forget about the fucking new Guardian. Thank fuck he talked him into dropping that spell once so he could keep at least one point of reference.

On with the mental idiot parade, even though the music was way too upbeat to be all mean. Maybe 'clown parade' was the more correct term now? And yeah, as much as he liked Corn, poking the hornets' nest over and over at the Consilium was kinda clownish. He liked the Mystagogue and while he shared some of Corn's views on the Lex, some other things were highly questionable. "I should have said something. Should have done something." - "And now for my next number, I'd like to return to a classic." Huh, even the music was mocking him. So yeah, maybe he should have. And what? He would have been put in the same corner as Corn. The same corny corner. Heh.
Maybe he should leave the Mysterium too? So far it was mostly Corn's unconventional view of things that gave off the impression of Crystal fitting the Order. What if the winds changed and someone else would deem him not fit to be a Mystagogue after all? Wasn't it better to quit while he was ahead than being thrown out?

Fuck. Turned out he was the biggest clown for not going for dissociative drugs tonight, for choosing the introspective drugs.
Maybe a little company could blow his mind. Crystal reached for his phone again and opened his trusty Grindr.