Why did the Fox stop to smell the Roses?

[Gerrit]

'Fascinating' might not be right word, but Gerrit could see how it was the first one to come to mind. Since coming back he had found out that it took some effort to cause wounds deep enough that blood would show through his mask. Did it make him feel better about himself? Only a little bit. Still, he managed to keep an open and neutral face while R'lyeh was thinking - he felt like he owed her answers to possible follow up questions after losing his temper just now.

Those questions didn't come and that was fine. But as the topic grew more and more unfit for normal ears, Gerrit didn't want to leave things to chance anymore. Yes, the store was empty right now and it wouldn't be the first time where he consulted clients about feelings, but he also didn't want to gamble unnecessarily. "Uh, excuse me for a second before I answer."
He got up and locked the door of Rosie's. Since there wasn't a more nuanced way to inform customers about it, he simply turned the little sign in the door to 'Sorry, we're closed' and returned to his guest. People would understand.

He returned to the Elemental and frowned slightly as he sat down, gathering his thoughts before picking up where they left off. "I uh- I just felt right at that time. And there were times where it felt absolutely wrong to be a part of that club." His clenched his hands into fists slowly to keep them from pick at the already healed scabs again. "Had lots of discussions with many different people about those things. What qualifies people to a membership, what happened if they didn't fit one hundred percent." And some might see those inquiring questions as an Autumn quality. Gerrit shrugged. "There doesn't seem to be a clear cut answer. There are things that draw you to a certain way of thinking. I felt drawn to being overlooked, to being underestimated. It seemed like the best way to live in relative peace." And maybe Sorrow had drowned him back then. But if she didn't want to make all her life about Fear Gerrit didn't feel the need to bring that up. "Activities and affinities don't make for a fit member. Emotions don't necessarily make for a fit member. Wanting to be a fit member does. Does that make sense?"

[Rlyeh]

Gerrit gets up and she thinks....well, she didn't know what to think. But he's closed his shop.

"I'm sorry. We can stop. I didn't-mean-intend-want-" there was a reason why she didn't want to make him keep the lights on after hours, and now here she was making him close early because she couldn't keep her mouth shut.

She bites into the meat of her lip as Gerrit comes back. It hurts but she keeps a firm unmoving clamp as Gerrit sits, and begins. It's not what she was expecting. But maybe that's good.

Different is good, different is thinking and questions and answers that they haven't - she hasn't asked-answered-know, which means she doesn't know the script for this. She knew what to say-act when Rhodes-King presented the idea at the Solstice-Coronation, but now.

Bad-weird-good. Not knowing, learning. Asking-shaping.

There is silence, it goes for too long, belatedly she remembers it's her turn to talk. Unclamping her jaw, her tongue runs over the impression her teeth have left.

"I like clear cut answers." she says, which isn't a surprise, at least not to her. "It makes things easy. Everything is already so hard that...." well, he knew, "....But there's a reason I'm not already..." eyes flying up to the switched sign, and the empty but for two, but still she offers a whisper. "An Autumn." eye flicker over to the Winter. Wondering if she failed a test, or if there was a test to fail. "It fits, like a....a glove. But I don't want...to wear...gloves." comes out slow. Confession-admittance-acceptance.

[Gerrit]

It was hard to get a read on her - maybe her primodial nature played a part in that. It felt like she was in distress, was struggling with something or herself. It seemed like she was thinking long and hard about this. But even though his temper showed differently Gerrit was pretty patient.

So he waited for the Fox to speak again. Waited for her to finish through all the ups and downs. Maybe the Ashen Court could be a good fit, could be a way for her to overcome her Fears. But maybe the most obvious solution wasn't the right one. "I think I know where you're coming from. I spent a long time looking for clear answers." And he was nowhere near finished. "The one thing I did learn was that for us there is no such thing as objective truth. I mean, uh, people are already complex and individuals, each one with their own desires and needs. For us.." He shrugged. "We bring some extra needs and.. uh, situations." This wasn't Winter talking, he simply couldn't find the right words for what every Lost had been through.

"We gather in groups because humans are social animals at their heart and because those groups provide us with structure and guidelines in a time where we desperately need it. But just because someone says that something 'fits you like a glove'.. I mean that doesn't mean that it is right for you."

He considered for a moment, then scoffed. "I'm sorry. I don't think I'm being particularly helpful. I wish I could tell you that Winter would give you what you need right now. I can't. But I can try to answer more of your questions." With some more circular logic that went nowhere fast, that is. He craned his neck a little to look at the window and then gave R'lyeh and encouraging nod. They were skirting, but they had the luxury of relative privacy right now.

[Rlyeh]

"No, no. It's okay. I. get it...?" she grimaces as the words fall awkwardly from her mouth. "There are no clear cut answers because people are not clear cut - " even if they've been clear cut. She snaps her teeth closed before she could finish that thought. It was probably rude. Or Racist. Kithist...? She didn't want to be like that. It was already hard for her. Because people were...that to her.

She nods, head bopping. There was a reason why she kept trying, instead of hiding away from people-Lost. She didn't want to be alone-alone, even if that meant she had to be alone surrounded by people.

"Overlooked and underestimated, is something I like the sound of. And do begrudge anyone that need." She feel likes she's swaying. Something's off key. To much focus, not enough thunk-thunk-thunk-thunk. "Gloves-scarves-hats. It's. But. I don't want to hide. I used to. But hiding made me small." so she stopped. Until she does. Which is different this time. It's less, scared-hide-disappear and more gross-bad-wrong-pretty-flowers. "Is it, Winter, different? Then quiet-scared-small-overlooked-unimportant?" she asks, "I know when some get Out, they join because hidden-safety-can't-be-found, but leave when they footing-steady-confidence...is there a reason to stay long term...? Is there something I don't understand - that you can tell-share-speak?"

[Gerrit]

'Is Winter different?' Gerrit looked at R'lyeh for a moment, tried to remember what she looked like without her hardened mask. She seemed timid, scared, seemed like she wanted to disappear and stop making everything she touched worse, stained.
But maybe he was just projecting to some degree. He cleared his throat to force himself into action again, to get him off that train of thought. "If you're asking me whether members of my club are weak and unimportant I'd say no. There's a difference between hiding because that's all you can do and hiding because you know how to pick your battles. Because you are better at avoiding notice than at the alternatives. Some chose this way because it promises the best chances at a peaceful life." The Ogre fell silent, his eyes still glued to the Elemental. She had to know that he was somewhat biased, even though there was hardly any judgement or rating of the Courts in his assessment.

He had an idea. "Look at my shop. It's nothing special - but does this look like I were to cower and wait for life to pass by me?" He took a look around the shop himself and made a conscious effort to take his achievement in again. The joy of owning Rosie's Roses had been dampened by.. well, by life, but it was still something he was somewhat proud of. "Owning a flower shop was something I've always wanted to do. Now it helps me blend in, helps me keep a routine and keep control over the few things I can control." A slight shrug as he brought his attention back to his guest. "Some want to control their fate with violence, some want to turn the tables and master The Others' tricks. Me? I am fine with what I have." His Mantle flickered briefly, a short cold snap. So what if he wasn't completely and utterly fine? The main point stood. "I don't call it hiding. I'm blending in, I'm vigilant."

He was just answering her questions, he didn't try to sugar-coat anything - why did it feel like he was trying to woo her into the Onyx Court? "Is- did I answer your questions? Keep in mind that this is my personal opinion. Ask someone else and you'll get a vastly different answer. Uh, if you don't mind me asking: how come you show interest in those clubs now? Why haven't you joined one before?"

[Rlyeh]

Tension leaves the lines of R'lyeh's shoulders with Gerrit's firm answer.

"Thank you." she says first because she is grateful for the Answer. More and muchly-more then she expected. Since. Winter-quiet-silent-secrets, but maybe that was the point. She didn't really know. Not really about Summer-Wrath-Bluster, or Spring-Desire-Irreverence, and even if she was afraid, and she like to know. She wasn't Autumn-Fearful-Knowing. She couldn't, not without first hand experience and she didn't. Have any. At all. For all her want to be apart of instead of a part from. She hadn't taken the leap-risk-trust-sanctuary-sanctity-court. "You did." she says to say, reassuring the man, if she didn't already. She takes a breath, feeling tired. This was already the longest conversation she'd had in a while.

"It's more that I have wanted. To join-find-share...but. It's like." she stops, looking from the bottle to Gerrit, and back again. "Me. And. People. They didn't. want....me around, so much. So I didn't want...to join a...club. And...force my-" gross-bad-wrong "-self...on a group of people." she says in starts and stops. Knowing how weak-pathetic-loser she sounds. "Now...now, things are weird-good-nice. Strange. And. I'm staying and no one's said I can't. So. Maybe....now's the time."

[Gerrit]

1 success

Date	Action	Roll	Result
2022-02-26 00:32:13	Gerrit rolls 1 to read body language (Wits 3 + Empathy 2) (10 Again)	8	1 success

1 success

Date	Action	Roll	Result
2022-02-26 00:32:30	Gerrit rolls 4 to read body language (rest of the pool) (10 Again)	4, 3, 10, 7, 4	1 success

Gerrit watched R'lyeh process the answer. Her hardened Mask might have made it a little bit easier to read her: while he could relate to the exhaustion, he didn't feel like he strong-armed her into anything. She didn't seem to be anxious or distressed.. at least not more so than usual. So Gerrit just nodded briefly in response to her gratitude.

He couldn't get past her reasons for being Courtless, though. Maybe his recent outburst was too fresh, but other Lost rejecting the Blightbent didn't sit right with him. "I'm sorry to hear that." And then he briefly hesitated. The Onyx started this conversation with the plan not to sell her on Winter come what may - but by reassuring her of that fact he might just reinforce the impression that she wasn't welcome after all. Gerrit shifted a bit in his seat and cleared his throat. "Uh, I don't want to rush you into things or set up expectations that you feel you need to fulfill but I can assure you that our club would gladly welcome you." Only now did he look for R'lyeh's eyes. "John said it best last year, but I think you might have heard the gist of it last December: Winter doesn't just mean surviving the cold on your own, it also means caring for each other despite everything." And wasn't that rich, considering how Gerrit had felt lately? Still, he agreed with John's take on Winter more than with other Freeholds' interpretation.

"Take your time to think about this. Maybe get some other perspectives. And don't- uh, you know you can come here any time, regardless on how you decide. Okay?"

[Rlyeh]

He's right, she's not more anxious or destressed as she normally would have been. In fact there's something, less anxious and destressed about her now. Which freezes, as her eyes widen. Her mouth opens and closes but no sound escapes.

Until;

"Fools rush in...?" it sounds strangled, and distant. She should have thought-but. She fiddles with the bottle. Then stops. Looks up. "Thank you." she says again. "Really I mean it." nodding, her bleached curls bouncing, the frizz and flyaways rushing to catch up. "Everything is more-and-much then what I thought. Which is. Bad. Of me. People do the same to me and I....." she shakes her head, "I'll think about it. I will." Looking at the Ogre, but staring at the bright-dark contrast resting about his shoulders.

We're over time, we should probably wrap but thanks for the scene it's been awesome!

[Gerrit]

Before he knew it there was a smile on Gerrit's face. It was a shadow of the soft and warm smile he wore over a year ago, but it was something. It was not the prospect of having talked somebody into joining Winter, it was the idea that maybe he was able to help R'lyeh feel more welcome, help her find her place. "Take your time. Don't hesitate to ask me anything if you have further questions." He was looking at the locked door, back at his guest. "I'm going to open the door again now. You can stay, of course, but I think we'll have to change topics again." But maybe she was as tired out by the conversation as he was. He wouldn't blame her for leaving.

He got up and started for the door, then stopped himself again. "I, uh- whatever your decision is, I think you deserve to find a place for yourself. No matter what anybody else might have said in the past." He gave her the opportunity to reply to that, then he would unlock the door again. A woman was waiting outside, shopping bags in both hands. Maybe someone who would like to treat herself for something pretty at the end of the day.

Gerrit might have just the thing.

Yes, I think we can fade out here. Thank you, it has been great fun!!