TW: Self Hate, Self Harm


Several Months ago~


A bathroom sink. A bottle of bleach. Stained jeans, and a ratty-no-it's-just-worn-how-can-it-have-survived-this-long-and-still-be-a-comforting-support bra. It's beiges, or or maybe it used to be white but now it's that off white, show-home carpet colour. Behind her, the straps and a wild mane cover her back. Hints of red-healed-but-not-really-lines can be seen peaking through.

Brown eyes stare out from a peachy face, human hands grip the cheap motel counter with the in-set sink. Bottle set beside. Looking out into the dingy mirror, a lean-I-can-see-your-ribs-torso, half healed lines scar her belly, but it's-she's pink-peachy-white.

Her shadow writhes, triangular ears twitch and flick, a long bottle brush tail, bristles, and flicks.
Her hair, her hair, her hair, drip and drips and drips

She's thrown the comb into the toilet on purpose-by-accident, mad and hurt and frustrated trying to comb out the mats and curls and tangles of her brown, brown (oil black and drip-drip-dripping) hair.

This isn't how you're supposed to do it. She learned and read and knows enough that this is bad-bad-bad, but she's an oil spill waiting to happen, whites are dishwater, and purples in smoke. She isn't supposed to be, she a stain and disgusting and she shouldn't be waiting for someone else to take care of her-her-her - she wants to throw up. vomit up her throat and out her mouth. Not the used-to-fit-better-mouth-pinned-and-painted-in-place-reminding her that-that-that - but it would be spit and bile and nothing else.

A bathroom sink. and A bottle of bleach

Pink, fleshy human hands grip the sink tighter. Knuckles white like the plastic of the bleach bottle. Flinching sharply at that connection, she scrapes her tongue on her blunt teeth.

She grabs the bottle. It was opened. Did she opening that? When did that happen? Mechanically she pours it into the sink, after plugging the drain.

Tips her head forward, placing her massive, matted mess of a mane into the basin.

It burns, but that's okay. It's a good burn. She deserves it.