Coping like a man

[Ram]

“I know shit about dating,” Ram admitted “But it doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong. Though I know that won’t make this suck any less.” He could have said that life would go on, and that the best thing would be to get back up and into the saddle but he doubted that’s what Gerrit needed right now, much less was something he would listen to.

In the end, Colonel Worm surprised Ram by being able to relate and offer sound words.

The cigarette broke and Gerrit apologized. Ram suspected for more than just the roll of tobacco.

“It’s okay,” he assured the Stonebones.

[Gerrit]

There it was - Ram and the Colonel pitied him. Gerrit hated this feeling, just because he had spent his whole life being told that he was taking himself too serious, that he didn't deserve the pity. It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry. - things people said because it was expected of them to say it, because it greased the squeaky wheel. A part of the Ogre knew that they really cared. Heck, he wouldn't have asked Ram for this if he hadn't been sure of this on some level.

Still, knowing was one thing, feeling and believing was another. "Thank you. Both of you." It hurt to breathe, hurt to speak. They really put him through the ringer, and his sobbing and heaving didn't make things better. He could focus on that pain, although it's almost as if the pain had faded into the background of Gerrit's consciousness already, something that was there but not worth a second thought. Funny how people could get used to things like that, wasn't it?

4 successes

Date	Action	Roll	Result
2021-08-02 03:28:13	Gerrit rolls 8 to be believably consoled (Man 2 + Subter 2 + Mantle 1 + WP) (10 Again, WillPower)	4, 1, 7, 10, 2, 6, 10, 9, 7, 10, 6	4 successes

"I guess I know that you're right. She probably had good reasons to leave." It was his turn to say the things they expected him to say. "And I know you can't force someone to stay.. I guess it's just difficult to not know when someone is just.. gone." Although as a Winter he really should be able to deal with that. Gerrit sighed. "I guess we can't give up hope, right?" Making sure to put just enough careful optimism into his voice: the sooner they could feel like that he was feeling better, the sooner their pity would stop. It wasn't a judgement of the Summers' character, nor was it about not trusting his friend - this kind of self-depricating defense appeared reflexively and almost involuntarily. Is there a better way to prevent the hurt of loss than to never open up? Maybe that was the lesson to be learned here.

It's okay.

Somehow those words got through his armor, hit the Stonebones like their fists couldn't. Was it okay? Was he? His game-face almost cracked, so he cleared his throat and tried a careful, pained smile. "Sorry for putting you through this weird wannabe Fight-Club. I pity anyone who wants to dares to attack the Freehold."

[Colonel Worm]

Worm drags off his cigarette, nods along to Ram's assessment: "Ram's right. Not your fault, bud." Exhales a cloud of smoke: "And good or bad, her reasons are her reasons. We probably won't get a letter explaining. But she's got the right to move on, do whatever, you know?"

It's all about consent and personal freedom. Things that Worm truly believes in. A body's got the right to do whatever it wants with that body. Whatever the reason, a person doesn't owe an explanation to anyone else. No matter how much that might hurt.

Gerrit may be hiding his feelings, but Worm's not. And it doesn't occur to him to suspect the Winter of dissimulation. The Goblin's not one to lie. And he doesn't expect that others will either. Naive? Maybe. The Colonel just calls that 'being honest.'

"This is gonna suck, dude," he says to Gerrit. "No way around it. But you got folks looking out for you. Ram and me for sure--and others too, I bet. So, you need anything? You give old Worm a call. Just, please, no more beat downs, OK?"

A pause, more thoughtful smoking.

"And, you know, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. Again. For losing my temper. Saying that bullshit. Neither of you deserved it." White eyes move from Ogre to Ogre, including them both in his apology.

[Ram]

Gerrit seemed to find at least some consolation in the beating or getting the pain off his chest. More likely a combination of the two.

1 success

Date	Action	Roll	Result
2021-08-02 18:25:38	Ram rolls 5 to Wits+Empathy (10 Again)	4, 2, 7, 10, 7, 7	1 success

Ram shrugged “Hope can come later,” he declared “Tonight’s for you to get smashed. Or you know, whatever.” Did the continued drinking metaphor work? He wasn’t sure.

“You want me to punch you again? I don’t mind the fight club thing,” he said with a side glance at Worm saying he wouldn’t do it again “Just the no questions thing.” He wanted that to be clear. "You're my friend and if the you do trust me, then that has to come with trusting me to check things sometimes if I have some concerns. And it seems like there's time to ask." Okay now it felt like he was explaining too much.

"Thanks for letting me know you weren't under duress or enchanted or anything." He added, scratching the back of his neck, since it was obvious even that had irritated Gerrit with the delay.

He gave a nod at Colonel's apology. He understood, even if he didn't approve.

[Gerrit]

Gerrit was starting to get annoyed - they kept repeating the same stock answers as before. It's not your fault, it was her choice and we need to respect that, this sucks As if he was stupid or a little child or-

He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. Why was he being like that, why was he so hellbent on pushing them away? He probably could blame the Ogre-blood, at least partly. He had a flimsy grasp on his feelings at the best of times and now.. now he was tired, physically and emotionally. "That's.. yeah, I appreciate it."

He smiled weakly at Ram and shook his head. "No getting smashed. Of any kind." Although why not go down that road of self-destruction too? Maybe his father had equally good reasons to numb himself with booze and crack? Gerrit shook his head, a bit more forcefully this time. "I guess you can ask. Sorry, I wasn't thinking straight earlier." Then he regarded the Colonel. "And don't be sorry, I put you in a weird situation so maybe that's on me." And the truth was, beside the pain of their last round of beats and the familiarity in tone the outburst had barely registered with Gerrit. He really didn't blame the Wizened on that end.

Maybe some day the Onyx Courtier will be able to consciously appreciate what Worm said: that Gerrit could count on him, just as he could count on his friend Ram. For now he just filed that under 'Further Disappointments waiting to happen', so he didn't really comment on that. Instead he took a deep breath and brought himself from a pitiful sitting on the ground to his knees. It hurt like a bench, but he needed to start pulling himself together again.

[Colonel Worm]

Worm lights a fresh cigarette from the end of his last. Crushes the old butt against the bare earth of the hollow and stores it in his pocket for disposal later. He sits back and smokes, watching the back and forth between these two friends. Feeling like he's missing something. Like he's a square peg in a world of round holes.

They seem like they've got a real connection. Must be nice. The Goblin tries and tries, but it's hard. To find someone who wants to relate with him on that level. Worm has no problem being open, honest. Maybe that's the problem, though: he always comes on too strong. His lack of a filter makes his desire for connection into something distasteful for the people around him.

Well, what the fuck. Nothing to be done about it. Why not get drunk? If Gerrit won't get smashed, the Goblin surely will.

"Y'all are lucky," is all he says on the matter. "To have each other." The Colonel stands and wipes the dirt off his ass. "Hold onto that." Not much else to add at this point.

When Gerrit gets to his knees, Worm offers him a hand, the cigarette burning away between his lips. Not sure if the Ogre will take it, but he'll try. Like always.

[Ram]

Gerrit seemed to be getting frustrated. Probably with the talking. So he didn’t mention that’ no smashing of any kinda was already a little too late and just returned the smile.

Ram took in a deep breath.

“You okay if Colonel gives you one last look over?” The Render had seen people die days later from things that didn’t seem a big deal at the time. It hadn’t felt like he’d broken any ribs but checking was better than finding Gerrit a couple days from now having a hard time breathing from a punctured lung.

[Gerrit]

Gerrit took Worm's hand, although he didn't really look at him - nor Ram, for that matter. He started to feel ashamed about this whole thing. Was Gerrit lucky to have Ram? Probably, yeah. But maybe Ram was just someone else he could lose. That thought almost kicked off all the other pessimistic and sceptical thoughts, the hurt that has been culminating in this over the years. He couldn't let that get to him now, couldn't give them more reason to pity him than they already had.

So the Ogre swallowed down the shame and acted brave again, giving the Goblin a thankful nod - although he didn't comment further on what he said. "Yes of course he can check." If that's what it took to make the Render worry less, so be it. He couldn't even really fight those mean thoughts, they just kind of came to him. He needed to lie down and and think, or just feel the aches and bruises and wallow a bit more in pity.

A different kind of thought popped up, a vague idea. "Uhm, could you maybe give me your number?" He wasn't sure about that. That was also something he needed to think about once he was alone, but he didn't want to ask Ram for the number later. Was this what you wanted? Did it improve your situation in any way? He couldn't tell. He was tired. "Thank you again. Both of you." Would there be a follow up on questions? Maybe with Ram. But that was also something Gerrit would deal with when it came up. So many 'later's, so many 'maybe's.

How tiring.

I'm good to close this (either after your round or soon), thanks for the amazing scene!

[Colonel Worm]

The Goblin helps the Stonebones up without a visible struggle. Grunts his assent when Ram once again volunteers his medical services. Resists the urge to give his fellow Summer the side-eye for doing so, given he's already snapped at Ram once today.

Dr. Worm, medicine Worm.

When Gerrit agrees to the evaluation, Worm gets to work. Much the same as the first time, completely comfortable with on the fly medical services.

Quick Check-up, 1 success

Date	Action	Roll	Result
2021-08-05 17:14:47	Colonel Worm rolls 5 to Wits + Medicine + Specialty (10 Again)	8, 2, 6, 4, 5	1 success

"He's bruised up pretty good. But nothing broken. No problem with breathing either. He'll live," Worm speaks to Ram but keeps his white-on-white eyes on Gerrit. Cigarette still dangling between his lips, burning slowly toward the filter.

His number? "Course, boss. It's [number]. Like I said, call me any time. Day or night. Don't sleep much myself." A shrug.

Waves off Gerrit's thank you, "No need. I'd expect the same from you two, if I needed help." And that's the truth.

The Goblin walks over and retrieves his hat and glasses. Dons both. Straightens the hat. "What do you say? Call it a night?" Still itching for that drink.

Ready when you folks are! That was great!

[Ram]

Ram looked steadily at Gerrit for a couple seconds but the expected follow up questions didn’t come.

“Your welcome,” he said for the Stonebone’s gratitude “And thanks,” he also added for the Colonel.

He walked over to the door with the hole punched in the middle “We’re good for tonight, let us out,” he told it. Glamour flowed and the sounds of Ram’s mantle rose. The cries of dying soldiers filling the air with pain, regret, and finally… silence.

The door opened, blackened soil giving way to the Striker’s floor and the mortal night beyond.

Good to close.