Catching up

[Gerrit]

Gerrit sheepishly smiled at Cassandra. "I wouldn't know, since I arrived after you. But you're right: it all happend so fast, didn't it. Well, we are making up for lost time in a way." A hint of sadness in his voice. These days the Ogre hardly even notice the quick and volatile small changes in his emotions. "We really worked our behinds off here, didn't we? I would say we can really be proud of what we've accomplished." With that he raised his cup to Cassandra and smiled again.

Vivian hadn't told Gerrit about a fight with Cassandra. Was it because she didn't trust Gerrit or because they've already made up? Maybe it hasn't been that serious for the Elemental to begin with. Gerrit listened and nodded slowly. "I am glad that you could clear the air. Uh, no she hasn't told me about that though. Goes to show that she really can keep a secret, huh?" The humor felt a bit forced, but there really was no reason for doubt. Maybe he would ask Vivian about it when they had another opportunity. If.
"Something I've noticed when talking to her is that she communicates differently. I mean, of course everyone is unique and all, but I can only imagine the troubles she faces after what she's been through." She has been very open about that. Vivian isn't someone to read too much into things, she took stuff at face value. He could learn a thing or two from her. "So, uhm, I am glad that you two made up."

The moment h saw Cassandra's reaction Gerrit felt bad for voicing his frustration like this. "Oh no don't be sorry. I guess it is important to remind us about this. I-" He sighed and made a conscious effort to relax. "I guess I'm just tired. Busy day." That was awkward. He had been looking forward to spending time with Cassandra again and now it seemed like he messed up. He was looking at his cup in silence for a moment, trying to think of something less touchy to talk about. Yes, if anyone was the person to talk about 'touchy' subjects, it would be Cassandra but Gerrit has never been good at talking about himself. "Can I ask you something?" He found something, a way to steer the conversation back to more comfortable waters. Maybe. "So I have been trying to listen to classical music but so far everything sounds so much alike. I know that it's probably a matter of getting used to it but is there anything you can propose as a good starting point for beginners?"

[Cassandra Reeding]

Cassandra smiles back and raises her cup with him, "I agree." She takes a sip of her tea then, taking a moment to just breathe. Relax. This is supposed to be a nice visit, not all... tense. It feels tense. Why does it feel tense?

It feels awkward that Vivian hadn't told Gerrit, but then, to a degree, that's kind of her business, right? "I think she's likely to be pretty good at it, yeah. Though, you are right, she does have a rather straight forward way she communicates. I rather like her spunk though, her passion."

"I wasn't meaning to remind about it, just was taking a moment to vent it. I could likely vent about the same topic over and over again and it helps in the moment, but in the long run, I just need time for everything. It was selfish when you're dealing with it too."

A little sigh, trying to relax herself. It is hard to deal with at times because her mind is so prone to doubt. She doesn't doubt now, but rather is afraid of consequences of being open. She's the type to wallow in it. It's how her depression manifests and keeps. Her own sorrow. It is taxing on others though, which is why she often tries to keep it to herself. She's been bad at that lately, hasn't she?

Gerrit changes topics and she nods. She's a little surprised at the exact topic and she nods a little with a smile. "I'd start with Carnival of the Animals. It's a silly take on animals with beautiful pieces scattered about. The Aquarium versus The Swan, you'll hear quite a bit of difference. It also makes you think about how the sounds connect to the subject.

"For a little more advanced, I'd recommend the Planets by Holst. I played a part of it once for you all, when we first met. The Chorale of Jupiter. Even within Jupiter, you can hear vast, exciting changes.

"In general, I recommend starting with more new age pieces. Starting with Mozart and other classical era composers... they quite literally made variations of their works in the same keys using the same chords. It is easy to feel that they. Oh! You could also look at more renaissance era pieces too. If you were once a church person, most of the early composers worked for the church and did much with chant. It's beautiful.

"I've always felt going full eclectic can help you appreciate the changes more versus listening to the same eras. Perhaps I will make you a playlist."

It is clear this is quite a passion of hers. Music speaks to the soul, after all, and it is one of the only ways she finds she connects to people. "What do you listen to naturally?" She asks with a curiosity. "That could help us point towards good beginnings too."

[Gerrit]

Cassandra's assessment of Vivivan made Gerrit smile. "Passion is a good word for it. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from her. Get this old man to break out of his ways." That is, if he could let her have enough room to continue to feel comfortable with him. He dropped the smile in what he hoped was a natural way before it faltered under his worries.

"Oh no, it was selfish of me to knock you for it. Please, if you want to vent I'm all ears." He thought for a second on how to coax her into venting again. "So, do you think anyone else has grown any wiser by now?" Maybe talking about their cheeky game of hiding in plain sight would take his mind off of his thoughts. And if she wanted to talk about that he wanted to be there for her. Last thing I want is Cassandra suddenly running out of here as well.

His hunch has proven correct: the topic he chose was something the Artist was passionate about. Maybe they were able to relax a bit by talking about their favourite things. "Carnival of animals, got it." At the mention of the plants Gerrit's face lit up. "Oh, I remember that - you played it very well, that was beautiful." Maybe his mistake was delving into opera first - of course there were men and women, but apart from that all the voices sounded painfully similar.
"Uhm, never been much of a church person, but I will try to remember all those recommendations. I don't know, I mostly listen to music from the 50s and 60s. Uhm, swing and that happy vibes rock?" He chuckled sheepishly. "To be honest I've never been good with genres or remembering the names of the artists I like. I kind of listen to what's on the radio and look for the stations that play music of those eras." Was there classical music that captured that carefree energy? Well, if anybody knew it was Cassandra.

[Cassandra Reeding]

"I don't think so. We probably eye each other too much, and I'm probably too self-conscious about being careful, but we're courtmates. Us spending more time together has never been weird."

She wonders if they'll be able to keep it up by their anniversary. It's already been what? Almost 5 months in August? So much has changed, developed. And it feels like she falls in love with him more and more each day. Helplessly in love. She knows it won't always be like this. They'll argue, disagree, upset each other at some point, but for now, she's going to enjoy the honeymoon phase for as long as it lasts.

"Only person I feel that would be able to see through it is Rhodes. Or Sera, I suppose. Never know when she'll back you into a verbal corner. Sweetly, of course."

"Mm, maybe you'd be into some good waltzes. Very danceable and goodtimey. So are the drinking songs. I get an odd feeling you might enjoy instrumental a little better than vocal music, but might flop as you go along," A faint smile. She does enjoy recommending music for people to listen to. It's how she best got to know people. It says something that he's into music of that era and that specific genre. "I won't overwhelm you with titles now," she chuckles.

"It's okay if you don't remember titles and Artists. Some of the names are so long. Even I can get my numbers all jumbled around."

Do you? I thought I taught you better than that.

[Gerrit]

"That's good." They certainly could keep a secret and if they had oportunities enough to enjoy what they had.. all the better. Right? "Uh, so I guess of you want to fawn about John you can do it here. Since I'm the only one you can do this with." There was no reason to be jealous, after all. They were his friends and he and Vivian walked on this bumpy road together for now. Gerrit rolled his eyes in jest and gave Cassandra a sheepish (and slightly forced) smile.
"Sometimes I wonder if Seraphina would even realize herself when she asserts herself in any way." The otherworldly beauty of the Spring Coronation was still kind of burned into the Ogre's memory: although he did think the Queen of Desire was a good person, he couldn't fully trust the appearance. "Well, if you need me to try and divert the attention or something you can just give me a call."

He took a sip of tea when Cassandra counted off further recommendations. "Uhm, pass on the drinking songs. But I will look for waltzes. And the planets. I mean, it's not a matter of life and death at the moment so I am ready to experiment for a bit. Thank you." So that was that. Plus, he felt like the mood had relaxed a bit, so that was a win.
There was another question that was bugging him, something he meant to discuss with Cassandra for a while now. Gerrit cleared his throat and made a conscious effort to look the Fairest in the eyes. "So I have something else. Because not talking about some deeply personal philosophical issues would break our traditions, right?" Corny jokes would only stall so much, so he metaphorically grit his teeth and continued. "I, uh- lately I have been feeling the call of my.. Fae side more clearly. Physical challenges, a certain kind of.. hot-headedness. I was just wondering what your experiences with those kind of.. changes have been." It was a shot in the dark, to be honest. Cassandra was well adjusted and frankly he didn't really know how Arcadia changed Fairests, if it created any pitfalls for them. But the Thane was also pretty educated and her input on the matters would be very insightful.

[Cassandra Reeding]

Cassandra purses her lips as a little blush comes to her cheeks. "I, uh, um, I mean," It would be nothing if he were Blodwen. Blodwen she would have already given every little bit of everything to within five seconds of arriving. It's just how they were as friends. Could she even begin to do that with Gerrit? To a degree, he's kind of like her Freehold dad.


She can say this much, at least: "I thought I knew what it was like to be loved before, but god was I wrong." She smiles and given all of the expressions he's seen on Cassandra before, it is more than evident just how happy she is.


On Sera though, it immediately sets her back. She wishes that she could truly like her, but it is so hard to. It's so hard to get over that feeling she gives her. "She... she makes me nervous sometimes, honestly. That display at the coronation was borderline-" evil, "just, wrong. It was too much. Queen of Desire, fine, but you don't need to use Arcadian gifts to prove your point."


Maybe she said too much, but she stands by it. It was a lot and it's something that had been on her mind a good while.


As Gerrit stares into her eyes, she gets a little nervous, not entirely sure what was about to come out of his mouth. Philosophical issue? So many. He gets onto it and she nods, understanding now.


"Well, I've heard some day it was like becoming what you once were. The closer your connection to the Wyrd possibly the closer you come to Arcadia itself. I've spoken once to Rhodes about this before and it is a theory, closer to the Wyrd the better you understand what happened to you or what they made you, but nothing really confirmed. I have never known anyone who has been overly close to confirm how far that actually goes


"I don't know too much about the changes. Mine was rather sudden. I came out of the Hedge grey," she looks down at her hands, colorful and constantly shifting. Completely opposite of the grey she once was. "I had severe depression and I got to a small moment where I could just exist without the pain and it just snapped something in me. I became what I was supposed to be. I don't know, I wish I could be more helpful.


"I noticed something was different, but I couldn't put a finger on it... Have the changes made things very difficult to get on? Do you need any help with anything?"

[Gerrit]

Gerrit held his cup tightly while Cassandra spoke, using the hot pain to just listen without indulging in the resentful voice in his head. He hadn't grown wise on how to interpret the swirling colors of the Artist yet, but it was obvious that things are going well for her. "Yes, it's hard to believe in things that seem too good to be true.. I guess you and John really found each other. I hope-" This won't go they way life usually goes. No, not that. The Ogre cleared his throat and started again.
"Uh, I hope you won't have to justify this to any nosy people for a long time." There, that was a realistic (and more important: less cynical) wish.

Cassandra's judgement made Gerrit smile bashfully. "I guess this proves we're fit to be Motley-mates. I mean, she is very nice but something about going to those extremes of inhumane beauty doesn't sit right with me. I can't look at her without thinking of that night.. although she has done nothing but help the Freehold." Even if the fellow Winter agreed, Gerrit couldn't just talk smack about the Queen of Desire.

All grey? He couldn't imagine the prismatic Artist as anything but colorful, a shining expression of her creative mind. He was doubly glad that she seemed to be in a happier place now, but she didn't quite get his point. He probably wasn't very clear about it. "I mean like.. I don't think I've struggled so much with my emotions before.. you know. They say that Ogres are quick to anger, but it's not just anger - some days it feels like there's a storm of feelings inside of me ready to overwhelm me if I'm not vigilant. Lately it's a bit worse still." He broke the eye contact and shrugged a bit. "Maybe it's because of Vivian, maybe I'm.. changing still. I was just wondering if you have to deal with similar.. issues." Yes, he spoke with Ram about this - the Render seconded the point about Ogres. The Airtouched's difficulties were understandable and plain to see. But there was a nagging curiosity in Gerrit, urging him to find out more about their condition - if only to make it easier for him to shoulder his burden.
"I don't think that there is anything you could do to help. I.. I think I can deal with this. I'll just see how things will develop I guess."

[Cassandra Reeding]

"I know better than to be overly optimistic, but I want to be for once. Perhaps that's the little bit of Spring in me." Then again, was it not the Spring that brought out the desire for the oath? Was it not the Spring that brought the desire for so much more? She may dislike Seraphina, but her words inspired her timid lover, and for that, she'll be grateful.


"People will one day find out, but I suspect the only one who will really care is Sera, given her love in meddling, as we've just said. I really want to like her," Oh, it comes out. "But I just feel like I can't trust her. I feel like there's something there that is intangible, but indicates something bad. Someone who presents themselves as sweet as they do doesn't do something that would terrify half the Freehold. You know, while giving the other half massive boners. It's just stupid." She blushes a little bit, that's a little bit vulgar for how she usually is.


"Sorry, Fairest Bullshit. Perhaps this is something similar to what you're dealing with as an Ogre. Fairests have a tendency to dislike other Fairests as an almost territorial thing. It is kind of distressing, especially when you are in a freehold with a lot of Fairests. This one in particular runs kind of heavy. So much beauty. Not that I'm the vain kind, but there is a certain bit of wired nature there. Although, that doesn't mean it isn't other factors as well."


It doesn't help that she hears that voice in her head. Taunting her. Reminding her she isn't good enough. After all, she broke didn't she?


"Okay, well if there is anything I can do, I know you won't hesitate to ask. At least I hope so. We are a family now." She smiles, and for one she is starting to feel as though things are going to be fine between them. Ever since Gerrit had expressed his feelings about feeling left out, Cassandra has felt very sensitive about making sure that that is in the case. And now she has to be even more so

[Gerrit]

"A little bit of optimism never hurt anyone." Gerrit smiled again. For all the worries he couldn't shake that's what he believed. Even in Winter - maybe eben especially so - you needed to have some hope.

He was a little bit taken back by her words, blushing right along with Cassandra. "She loves meddling? Oh, was there anything in your life she was meddling with?" He asked out of genuine interest, not to judge her. "I mean, I get what you'e saying.. sort of. She reminds me of that movie with all those too perfect wives. Uhm, 'Stepford Wives'?"

But then she talked about the scars of her Durance and things made a bit more sense. "So do you think that her use of Glamour was maybe also a 'Fairest' thing?" Although he didn't want to take Sera's side too much. Cassandra was his friend, not the Queen. "I can see that it can be hard here.. I don't think I'll ever get used to having that many stunning people around me. So.. if you ever need someone to be snarky with I am here for you." Not because he enjoyed doing that, but because that's what friends do. That's what family did.

"Thank you. I appreciate that, I really do. Sorry if I seem, uh, cold sometimes. I promise I will talk to you - to both of you - if there is anything concerning you." Because apart from being better at keeping his moods in check that's the least he could do.

[Cassandra Reeding]

Cassandra can't help but smile a little bit. Optimism is something she's always had to be careful of. Optimism is what got her in trouble at the last time, but maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time things will work out.


"Well, have you ever noticed that she makes it a point to talk to everyone about their business. And I mean everyone. She always finds a way to make you open up so she can give you advice. It gives her a control on everyone's affairs without really realizing it. So either she is just an obscenely nice person, or she has ulterior motives. I would like to think it's the former, but I'm a Winter. Some suspicion keeps us safe."


She does consider if Sera's display was a Fairest act. "You know, I wouldn't be surprised if it was. My immediate thought was it was just simply because she is a Spring Queen. Either way, I'm bothered by the fact that she didn't even notice the discomfort." She sighs then, "I shouldn't hold on to it though. It's just, if you could have seen what I could see of John's reaction. He couldn't even look at her." And given what she knows of his keeper, that doesn't surprise her. She's never talked to him about his feelings on that from that however. "Maybe that's what bothered me more."


"I don't know that you want to hear some of the snarky things that go on in my head,"She can't help but chuckle a little bit, "But I appreciate it. I really do."


It felt nice that things were settling a little better between them. They were on somewhat heavy topics, but the reaction wasn't heavy. "And we'll do what we can to help. We are family now after all." Of course, while not all motleys have that familial undertone, theirs very much did.