Catching up

[Gerrit]

"Huh, I never really thought of it that way." Then again, he always gave people the benefit of the doubt. And he didn't feel like telling Sera about his shop gave her much of a control over him.. but Cassandra seemed sure of that so maybe that's something to keep an eye out for. "I guess we're better off keeping our cards close to the chest then." He said that with a glint of jest, just to steer the conversation to a lighter tone again.

She made a good point. Gerrit also remembered how unnerving it had been to look at Seraphina in all her glory. "Maybe it's hard to distinguish awe from discomfort.. John doesn't share your feelings for her, does he?" He felt like it was important to know if his King felt that way about another Monarch. Maybe this Freehold wasn't just rainbows and happiness all around. "I guess we'll get another taste of that if we're invited to her wedding." Would Sera invite the whole Freehold or keep that a private matter? He almost hoped for the latter.

The Ogre chuckled along, wondering whom of them would be more shocked if they could hear all the thoughts going on in the other's head. He probably needed to work on that, to be honest. "Yes, we are. Uhm, do you think we'll have to announce our Motley to the Freehold? I haven't heard of any other Motley here, so I don't know how it's handled here. Then again, since it's the whole Winter Court, maybe that's redundant?"

[Cassandra Reeding]

Cassandra feels this pang of immediate guilt then. In a sense. Guilt might not even be the right word for it. Maybe it is embarrassment of having had a moment of being too candid about her feelings about a person. "I mean. I don't dislike her, Gerrit. I just-" She sighs, feeling awkward then, "And I know John definitely doesn't dislike her. Quite the opposite." No jealousy. He wouldn't want her. And even if he did, he certainly couldn't have her.


You're second best again. Why want a dud over perfection? You won't take this from me. Not anymore.


"I really don't mean to make her out to be horrible. I just don't really trust someone who comes off that nice. Life just doesn't work that way. Or maybe I'm just wired that way, I don't know. Trusting people isn't exactly a key tenant of the lives we tend to live. Often trusting is what got us... well, you get my point. I'm sorry if I- you can just ignore- uh. Nevermind." She shakes her head and sighs. Proof that being candid will get her judged. She knows Gerrit is judging her for that, even if he isn't saying it out loud. She knows.


"I wouldn't be surprised if I'm asked to play for the wedding, so I'll probably end up there. We've talked a few times now about wedding things," she looks down then. There is always an awkwardness when mentioning weddings and marriage for her. She may be in love and happy, but the sting of losing a marriage doesn't go away as quickly as one would like.


"Oh, no. I don't think we need to announce ourselves. We just exist. At some point, there will be more Winters and they won't be part of our motley. People will probably just be made aware how most things are made aware - as they are told over time. We can always drop it into a conversation if it matters. But, we can always confer with John too for his opinion."

[Gerrit]

Gerrit frowned slightly when Cassandra justified herself again. "Oh sorry, I didn't think you disliked her. Or I didn't want to imply-" He stopped and sighed. That's what he got for trying to make her as comfortable as possible. "I think we are on the same page about this. Let's just agree to not judge each other and change the topic?"
He wanted to make her stop feel bad about this, but apparently everything he said made things worse. "I guess some amount of trust is reasonable, seeing that she's the Monarch who has been present the longest.. but I see your point. I, uh, just can't change the way I am." Maybe a bit of self-depricating humor would get them out of this. To double down he sheepishly grinned at the Fairest.

He noticed the awkwardness when the topic came to marriage, but couldn't quite place it. Maybe it was a continuation of the so-called 'Fairest bullshit'? "Just promise to take care of yourself - if playing at the wedding is too much for you for any reason, you can always bow out. Or we'll try to also get there and catch you when things get bad. You know, like at our ball." He could see how Cassandra wouldn't want to cancel on Seraphina, but that didn't mean that she was in this alone.

He nodded along with her explanation. Everybody knew that the three of them were friends, so announcing the Motley probably wasn't necessary. The difference between now and a few months ago really came down to semantics. "Okay, you are right. I guess the most important part is what we feel, and I feel like we are totally solid." He really did, although he sometimes felt like a bad friend.

Gerrit's tea was long finished and it was getting late. The Ogre barely stifled a yawn. "Not to throw you out or anything, but I think I'll have to get home soon. Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

[Cassandra Reeding]

Cassandra purses her lips a little, but tries to hide the fact that she is now very uncomfortable. Gerrit doesn't get it. She can't talk to him about these things. She should have never brought them up in the first place. Everything has gone wrong this evening and she's not sure how to handle that. Is it because she was hoping she could have another Blodwen? She'll never have another Blodwen, not really. It makes her sorrowful then. But it is something she'll have to unpack later. Not right now.

1 success

Date	Action	Roll	Result
2021-07-26 20:18:33	Cassandra Reeding rolls 4 to Conceal, don't feel. (Composure + Subterfuge) (10 Again)	3, 4, 8, 1	1 success

Another thing he doesn't get. It isn't Sera getting married that bothers her, it's marriage in general. It's thinking about the fact that she was once married. She knows the risks. She knows that she is taking them anyway with John, but it doesn't make the last time hurt any less. And yet, at the same time, at this point, she and John are bound. They might as well be married for the duration of their pledge.


"Thanks. I'll be fine though. I know it. But I appreciate the sentiment." Awkward. So awkward. She feels completely misunderstood. It does feel nice that someone cares though. But then, how does that make it different than most people? The only thing that makes Gerrit different now is that he knows about John and he now knows her feelings about Sera, which isn't much of a good thing now.


"Yes, that's alright. I should get some practice in. Though, this is my midday. I don't sleep until the early morning really. Schedule affords my being a night owl." Which works so well for keeping her schedule with John. "I'll let you get to sleep though, you seem tired," she mentions from the yawn.


She gathers her things into her lap, ready to depart when he indicates he is ready for her to leave.

[Gerrit]

And he's none the wiser

failure

Date	Action	Roll	Result
2021-07-28 06:15:03	Gerrit rolls 1 to read the room (Wits 3 (10 Again)	5	failure

failure

Date	Action	Roll	Result
2021-07-28 06:15:39	Gerrit rolls 4 to read the room (Wits 3 + Empathy 2) (10 Again)	1, 7, 6, 5	failure

Those were some difficult subjects, but Gerrit thought he managed it pretty well in the end. Of course her swirling and ever-changing skin didn't make it easy to read her, but he would know if he had put his foot in his mouth just now. He couldn't shake the feeling that the mood had turned slightly awkward again, but that could just be his general pessimism talking - he simply wasn't that great at carefree chit-chat at the best of times.

"Oh, I didn't realize you were so active that late." Frankly he didn't know how orchestras rehearsed, but apparently she didn't have to worry about getting up early. "Thank you for coming and-" Was he about to apologize? Apologize for what, he couldn't change the way he was and Cassandra clearly was willing to put up with it. "You know, thank you for this. It feels good to chat with a friend now and then." Although he wondered if he could ever manage to just stop worrying and enjoy such moments for what they were. Maybe if John and Cassandra were willing to able him for a bit longer.

"Let's keep in touch for a Winter meeting soon!" He was already getting up, stretching a bit in the process. It's been a long day.

Thank you for the scene!