Words

[Cassandra Reeding]

There is a slight urgency to Cassandra cleaning up her apartment. John has seen her place a right mess before due to her crafting materials, but today feels different. Today she feels as if things need to be in a correct order, like a ritual.


She keeps thinking about that dream she had, The one where she sat out on a balcony with him, holding hands saying... something. She wasn't sure, but they were words that she couldn't make out. An oath she can only guess, but she isn't sure.


Ready?


That's the word that's stuck in her mind. Looking for a simple confirmation that the other is okay, a confirmation that the other cares. That's just one word. There are three other words stuck in her head, words neither of them has said out loud yet. She wants to. She almost said it before, just before Gerrit came over the last time. She's worried she'll chicken out again or it just won't be the right time. That moment was perfect though, just not the right timing.


A stray thought of insecurity crosses her mind. What if he isn't there yet? What if it scares him? What if he thinks that that's reason they should stop being together? No, that's ridiculous. They do tend to leave you in the end though, don't they? It happened one time. One time is all it takes to be insecure, right?


Then there is everything else. They need to talk about the progressions in the status of their secret. They should talk about flubs, which she isn't looking forward to. She's had her share, one big one in particular. An idiotic one, no less. Alcohol was not her friend that evening, but really, she was just playing with fire. Maybe for a minute she just wanted to be burned. She'd already used the two words already, but it might not change the need for another conversation.


Tonight the nervous Polychromatic has chosen to wear the same red dress she wore the first time she, John, and Geritt had gotten together for a meeting. She had just felt like there was something in the way he looked at her, but she doubts it at the same time. As if she can read John 99.9% of the time accurately when he isn't actively emoting. Wee bit of eye rolling. She's learning though, the little things.


Looking down at the dress, she remembers the way they sobbed together and then danced it out. That seems to be their thing, crying together and then dancing. This dress is lucky it survived that night given she submerged herself in a hot shower while still in it, trying to make it all go away - trying to make everything go away, feel something for a moment. She felt something, but she didn't know what it would turn into. And now she's fallen so hard...


As she waits, she quickly braids her hair loosely to the side, over her shoulder as is a common style for her now, and puts on just a hint of tinted lip balm and eyeliner. She forces herself not to go overboard. Just an eye and tinted lip will do.


Aria, in the meantime, is playing with a catnip mouse, shuffling around as she bats it across the floor. Little high pitched mews fill the apartment as the playful thing runs around. The kitten is a little bigger now, more full bellied and her kitten fuzz has mostly grown out into somewhat regular fur. Cassandra scoops up the grey kitten, much to Aria's somewhat discontent, and gives her a few pecks on the head.


"Hello, little one. Are we going to be nice to mommy's love today? Maybe consider showing him how sweet you are?" The kitten snuggles up in Cassandra's arms after a moment, nearly like a ragdoll, sweet, soft purrs radiating from the soft ball of fur. She'll either hide or maybe consider taking a good look at him. She hoped for the latter. Nothing is sweeter than a kitten curled up with a man.


Cassandra sets Aria down, who immediately goes back to playing with her mouse, and then finally sits down with her harp, which is set in the corner of her crafting area near her cello. A little music will calm her down. She begins working on her accompaniment part that she'll use when she plays with Sera.
James Turner Shane

[James Turner]

John was still learning and growing, there was a lot of things he didn't understand. It was still difficult for him to get use to being present. He was used to being a background piece, unseen as he went around even when he came back it all still felt so surreal. He'd built his walls so high to make himself inaccessible, pushing away everyone to keep himself safe. To keep him where he was supposed to belong.


Habits, Rituals, these helped to shape and control behavior and personality, Reinforced over and over again until it became second nature, until there was comfort and familiarity in it even if the behavior was destructive. He saw it at work all the time, the ritual reinforces the behavior. The Ritual was broken but it left him adrift, having to find and cling to things to make them rituals of his own, to start building himself up from the bottom.


Today was just another day for John, agonizing over everything and then going to see his girlfriend. which was still an odd thought to the Darkling. One that filled him with a new warmth and comfort, which helped to ease him into these uncharted waters. He wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary today. It was in these small moments alone that they just got to be as they were. Long, cherished moments together.


He felt that nervous flutter of his heart in his chest just like he did every time before he took a deep breath to knock on the door. Still afraid, maybe always afraid that he'd find she'd gone. But he steeled his nerves and waited for her to open, hearing the music faintly through the door brought a smile to his lips helping to dispel that fear and cast away his doubts for now. John was wearing his usual casual attire, black slacks and today it was an Echo and the Bunnymen t-shirt. The soft music putting a smile on his face letting that be the first thing she'd see when she'd open the door.

[Cassandra Reeding]

Hearing the knock at the door, Cassandra's fingers stop on the strings and she feels a little bubble of joy in her. Every time he comes over, she feels that warming She stands up, walking just a few feet to open the door and she nearly melts seeing that smile he has on his face. A small blush comes to her cheeks and she smiles back, "Hey there." she steps aside to let him in, closing the door behind them. As he moves past her, she can feel the caress of his chilly, whispering mantle. There is something complementary about the way their mantles interact with their similar chill and the addition of her warming sun and the memories his seem to draw out.


"I've missed you," She reaches out her arms for a hug and pecks him on the cheek. Aria, in the meantime, has bat her mouse into the living room and has chased it there. Cassandra can't help but look back and shake her head, "She's been like that all day," it makes her giggle though. "Do you want coffee or something else to drink?" The answer is coffee nine times out of ten, but she still asks.


Now, all those little anxieties from before seem to have melted away in favor of being ready to just relax. Mostly. That voice in the back of her mind is always waiting for the right time to sew seeds of doubt, but for the moment, it's quiet.

[James Turner]

Seeing her blush like that only made his smile grow wider, the swirls shift of her colors creating art in its own right. "Hey." He said in a soft voice as he stepped in and once the door was closed behind them they stepped almost immediately into sync as he stepped in and wrapped his arms around her feeling the cool mix of their mantles swirl and dance and sparkle together. "I missed you too." He stayed like that for a long moment before pulling away, the smile more relaxed and soft now.


"You know I can't really say no to coffee." He had seen the dress when the door had opened but it had taken until that question for it to register. Red really was her color, at least in his mind. It was his turn to blush, that gray spreading across his skin as he suddenly felt underdressed. Maybe she had a surprise date planned and they were going out that night but he didn't put good odds on that since they didn't get as much time together alone as either would like.


He raised an eye brow but had been silent waiting for a second before asking the simplest question first, "You look amazing tonight as always. Was I supposed to wear something nicer too? Did I miss something?" His first thought and instincts were that he made a mistake somehow and forget something, even if he knew that it was unlikely he'd forgotten anything.

[Cassandra Reeding]

Cassandra watches as John begins to grey and she grins a little at first, wondering what has made him blush this time, but it fades as he expresses a thought of having missed something based on her attire. She looks down at herself and then back up at him, "What? Oh, no, not at all. You know me, I just like wearing dresses," she blushes a little herself, now feeling somewhat overdressed. "A bonus when they are dresses you seem to like in particular." she teases him a little bit. A bit of a blushing game, one she often enjoys. He's beautiful as he is, but watching him grow even grayer gives her a tiny bit of satisfaction.


She does take that moment to give him a good look over, taking in his casual look. Wasn't anything she wouldn't expect. For him, it's either a button down or a band tee-shirt. There isn't really an in-between. Cassandra nearly always wears dresses. If she is wearing pants, it must be some kind of special occasion. Or so casual, she recognizes a dress would be wildly inappropriate. Though, she's painted sets in dresses before.


She gives him another smile before making her way into the kitchen to get started on making some coffee, "How was your evening?" Because when they hang out, most of the time, it is well past dark, their schedules that of night owls. The sound of the occasional mew seems to die down and Cassandra looks over to see the kitten has finally decided to rest under the coffee table.

[James Turner]

John might have misread that one apparently, fashion wasn't much his forte so he didn't much have an eye for casual versus fancy dresses. What looked fancy to him might not be at all and he'd not know the difference. The embarrassment of that moment and the bit of teasing had their desire effect as the gray became deeper pushing toward black. His hand coming up to rub nervously at the back of his neck. "It's more about who's wearing it." It wasn't as quick as his normal timing having been knocked off guard.


He saw her eyeing him and by the time she returned to his face his arms were crossed in mock defensiveness as his face was pulled forward giving her a judging look. "Don't say it. I know exactly what you're thinking right now. And you're right but it's still not fair." He laughed softly as he went back to his normal stance, hands in pockets, thumbs pointed out, shoulders rolled back with her instead of slouched forward with everyone else, feet shoulder length apart and his body instead of being squared toward an exit was aimed directly at her. It was the small, subtle changes in behavior that were the hardest to watch for.


He couldn't help but get excited as she started making coffee, which brought a thought to his mind that caused his heart to flutter and him to pause mid reach for a mug. Though he shifted his eyes back and forth passing it off as he was searching for a mug. He knew what he wanted to ask had deeper meaning than the content of the question. He could say it was because he wasn't sure if she was ready for that step but he'd be lying. It was on him, he knew that. Was he ready to take that step the closer they got the deeper they got, the higher the stakes became. Was he willing to risk it all?


He kept having the same dream over and over again. He looked at his hands seeing the red that still covered them as he reached in for a mug he knew he'd used before to sell the hesitation before setting it on the counter to help how he could. Nightmares helped us be prepared to accept loss, to accept failure, to help learn to conquer those fears. "Would you mind if I start leaving some of my coffee over?" He knew he had things there for when he stayed over but each new thing added was a step deeper down the rabbit hole.

6 successes

Date	Action	Roll	Result
2021-06-05 23:27:33	James Turner rolls 8 to Keep it Casual (Comp + Sub + Mantle) (9 Again)	7, 3, 9, 9, 5, 10, 5, 4, 9, 9, 1, 9, 2, 6	6 successes

He asked it casually, hiding his underlying stress making the issue his own. He'd asked the question and answered his own in turn. Yes, he was ready. He stepped out of her way to give her room to move as he turned and wiggled a finger in way of hello at Aria, seeing her curled up under the coffee table either having tuckered herself out or was waiting to pounce the mouse once more. "Status Quo, what about yours?"

[Cassandra Reeding]

She loves watching him get all flustered with her. In a way, it shows just how much she affects him. For once, she feels like she doesn't have to wonder about where she stands with her partner. Things are as clear between them as she could want. It isn't crystal and it might be murky, but it is in that range of normal. This relationship has something that she has so desperately wanted to grasp for: normalcy. It's what she's always wanted. A way to settle her life into a mid-range point. Things are dangerous and constantly pulling them into havoc, but this, having him grounds her. It's something for her to cling onto like a touchstone, something to ground her to her humanity. Sometimes she wonders what things could have been like for them if...

Keep Composure - 1 Success

1 success

Date	Action	Roll	Result
2021-06-05 23:50:21	Cassandra Reeding rolls 4 to Keep Composure? Composure Subterfuge Mantle (10 Again)	6, 5, 8, 5	1 success

She continues making coffee and she can't help but giggle a little bit. It isn't long after that when he asks his question. She doesn't stop what she's doing, but her heart begins racing. There is a feeling like an odd flutter and blood begins heating in her cheeks, but she just barely manages to keep it cool. Just a little bit. She's sure if he really looked at her, the hidden blush would be obvious. He'd had little things in the apartment already. It was a big enough deal when he left his toothbrush. For some reason, to her, this felt different.


She glances up at him and he seems so cool and casual. Does he... does he not like this coffee? Or... She's not sure then. Is this a big step towards- or is this just a casual thing? From what she can tell, it is casual. That makes her heart sink a little bit. "Yeah, of course you can. You can leave whatever you'd like, honestly. It isn't like you won't be back to pick something up if you need it." But she wants it to mean more. "At some point, I should just cut you a key. Might be nice once in a while to come home to you." she says it in a soft voice, but she doesn't hide that bit of intent. She wants him to know he is allowed to take things further if he wants. There is no rush, but there is also no wall either. There are a lot of things she is ready for, but she's letting him be in control. He's not like she was in her first relationship.


Coffee is set up to go and she leans up against the counter then, her gaze off to her crafting corner, "Well, if you turn your attention to my work area," there is a bit of pride in her voice, "you will see the harp I built. I just finished it. Well, I finished it a little while ago, but then there's the prettying up process. I was playing it right before you came." Her mind goes back to the recurring dream then. Playing for him, his hand taking hers, sitting together and holding hands, words. She wants anything but status quo.

[James Turner]

John was never the best when it came to words, it wasn’t his forte. Too direct, not direct enough, he could see how people were feeling, how things affected them, but he often had such a hard time connecting. He always managed to stumble over meaning and intent and land himself straight into hot water. He had been watching Aria, saying his hellos as she started to respond, and he looked over his shoulder at her. He’d been distracted by the kitten and only looked over his shoulder at her in the middle. It made it harder to read her moods but her tone was TOO casual for what he knew.

1 success

Date	Action	Roll	Result
2021-06-07 10:51:23	James Turner rolls 6 to Read Cassandra (Wits + Empathy - 1) (9 Again)	4, 3, 3, 6, 8, 5	1 success

His cheeks were no longer their deep hue, the color pushing back out and drained from his face returning to its usual pallor. He let out a deep sigh and ran a hair through his dark hair, a small shake of his head causing it to shift back and forth as he frowned. Really misjudged that one man. Maybe she’s just as nervous and scared as you are. Her last words pushed another blush up to his cheeks and that frown to twist into a smile. “If you feel comfortable enough exchanging keys that sounds good. I just, uh, didn’t want to scare you.” He motioned at the coffee with a laugh, he knew she had WAY more money than he had but there were rituals and rules inside him that were heard to break. “I also don’t want to be drinking all your coffee when I can contribute.”

He’d shift over to her to give her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek for the misunderstanding. Leaving a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently as he offered her a sad, small smile as he still felt filled with guilt. Sometimes when he thought he was helping to protect someone’s feelings he was actually hurting them, it was hard to know when those moments were until it was already done unfortunately. He stood there quietly for a second before slowly pulling away.

He shifted as he poured his cup of black coffee and took a small sip, setting the mug idly back onto the counter as he leaned against it. Only picking it back up again as he looked over at the harp with a smile. “So that’s what you were playing, thought it sounded higher than the cello. It’s pretty but it really can’t hold a candle to its artist.” The smile curled up into a wide grin aimed at her.

[Cassandra Reeding]

Cassandra can't help but smile. "I think you're going to have a hard time scaring me. At least with those kinds of things." Because I love you. She's done this song and dance before, although at a much quicker pace. She likes how slow and steady they are taking it. They get to enjoy every step of the way as well as deal with every hardship as it comes. "But yes, actually, I think I do have a spare." She knew she had a spare. Two in fact. "I'll make sure you have it before you leave tomorrow. Should probably just put it on your key ring tonight so we don't forget." She'll always make the assumption that he's staying and say it out loud so that he knows. The most peaceful dreams she has are when she's laying in his arms.

His comments about coffee just makes her laugh, "You do drink a lot of coffee. Whatever you want to bring over, you're certainly free to. Even if they are things I can just buy and have here for you." She teases him a little bit. She does wonder sometimes how much there financial difference might bother him. She knows he likes to pull his share, even though he really doesn't have to. She's pretty sure she makes about twenty times what he does. Of course, the money doesn't matter.


She takes a deep breath as he hugs and kisses her cheek, leaning into him with her hands on his chest. Touching him feels like being wrapped in a loving chill, one just for her. There is something different about this touch then the touch she's felt before. Maybe they're all different, but she could keep this one forever. He always pulls back too soon, of course, little does he know that too soon is versus near eternity. But physicality is one of her love languages. That sad smile though. He always seems to take it out on himself more than he should, at least in her opinion.


Cassandra fixes herself a mug as well and a watches Aria as she sleeps for a moment before looking over at John. His comment about the Artist makes her blush again. There's the quick compliments that make her heart feel like they could explode. "Why thank you." My heart. My love. My person.


She moves then to rest against the counter next to him, resting her head on his shoulder for a moment before moving to drink her own coffee. "So, quite a few developments lately, huh? How are you feeling about all of it?" His fears, his reservations, his wants, his frustrations - she wants to know all of them. She tries to be careful not to prod too much, but that doesn't always work out. And that's okay too.

[James Turner]

"I suppose you're right." Because she had done this before, he supposed in a way he had too. A twisted, fractured version of the dance. The music was discordant and wrong and he could heard the siren song in his head. Those long, drawn out notes that sent shivers down his spine. The call home, the sound of the open ballroom waiting for his return. It took him a long second, blinking as it took him a second to register what she had said.


He grew flustered, cheeks flushing as he chuckled nervously. "Yea, sure. We can do that, I'll have to get a copy made though." Because he didn't have any if he ever got locked out he could always find a way in through the hedge the door was an emergency exit primarily but it could serve as an emergency entrance too. Luckily that hadn't been a problem for him and his inability to shut off his senses. He didn't even note the assumption as he'd made the same one himself, the note just rolling off of the Darkling as the music began taking a more familiar pitch.


"I don't really drink much of anything else, beer, the occasional cocktail, coffee, water that's about it. I was never really into sweet drinks except for fruit juice and even then I prefer cranberry because it's tart. I, appreciate the assistance but I never want it to be viewed as an obligation. I know I don't have a lot of money and I'd like to do more for you..." He gave her a soft, sad smile at that because it did bother him. He wanted to do more for her, he knew this was hard enough.


He looks over at Aria meeting the kittens gaze. He always wondered what animals saw when they looked at Changelings, did the mask work on them as well or could they see the truth for what it was? He guess he'd have to ask a Beast. As those thoughts flitted through his mind he reached his hand over to give hers a squeeze and hold it before turning to smile at her. "Where to begin really." He brought his coffee up to blow off the top.


"Well I'm glad I listened to the wise council of my Thane because letting Gerrit know turned out better than I'd been seeing in my head. So that's nice. Still scared for the danger that might put him in but he understands that . Happy that we're all more formally a family now, feels good, feels right.


"Sad things didn't work out with Titania and Anatole, I'd still like go get him on our side but perhaps he has greater ambitions. But more often than not I don't know. I feel turned upside down, topsy turvy. I had purpose and certainty because the world was so simple and now it's so complicated. It's hard to describe, I feel...unmoored?" He said, his face still a blank slate though the tone conveyed confusion before he took a sip of his coffee as he kept thinking about it trying to see if he could find a better explanation.


Unshackled, Unburduned, there were better ways you could have said that John. Well why didn't you give them to me sooner. Just say it. "Unshackled." He'd been in chains for so long both in Arcadia then the ones he bound himself with here that he didn't know what to do now that they weren't there anymore. He couldn't help the few tears that rolled down his cheeks as he smiled at her again.