Nothing Important

[Cassandra Reeding]

The way Gerrit talks makes her heart ache a little for him. She is a Fairest, she doesn't know what it is like to look in the mirror and- well, actually, she wasn't always like- but that doesn't matter. She'd never been like Gerrit or other Lost who dealt with that large of a change. Looking in the mirror, she can still see herself, mostly. Gerrit, beyond his mask, is significantly different. Someone seeing beauty in him... yeah, she could see how that would make him feel so conflicted.

Her mind briefly flashes to John, the way he sobbed when she told him that she saw him. That tugs her heart for a moment, a sensation of butterflies and warmth. It was when he'd finally recognized her feelings for him, accepted them, recognized his own for her in return. And now they have each other. It felt weird in that moment when she recognized Flaws had been playing while she'd been thinking about it, a slight blush coming to her cheeks.

"I believe you told me not so long ago that you just wanted to see me happy. I want the same for you. Whether it is a projection of hurt or loneliness, even if it starts because she's the first who shows you affection, so what? How the fire started doesn't negate the fact that the fire is there." There is a moment where she wonders if she'd be giving the same advice had John rejected her. But he didn't, and while they are keeping it to themselves, it doesn't change the fact that she is happier than she has been in a very long time. Gerrit deserves that too.

Ice Law. Inwardly, she cringes. It is why they're keeping their relationship a secret. She'd advise Gerrit to do the same, but... he wouldn't, would he? He'd probably rather be miserable than hide his affections like that. He seems like the type to just love with every fiber of his being.

"And on age," She shakes her head, "We're fae. Time is so relative. My ex was technically 12 years older than me. We were born the same year. Heck, I think John is like a good 7 or 8 years younger than me, but I was born only a couple of years before him." She shrugs before realizing the potential slip, so she immediately adds in, "And given time didn't seem to mess you up, I imagine then that we are also close to the same actual age. Actually, I've learned recently that quite a few of us were taking in the late 80s and 90s... I don't know what to do with that information yet, but it is kind of startling." Yes. Keep moving it forward and away from that line.

"All of this is to say, stop giving yourself excuses as to why not. Hmm... I might be starting to sound like a Spring," She shakes her head, "At the same time with all of this," Crap. I guess I am going to have to mention it. "As a Winter, we need to be careful of others knowing our true feelings, desires. They can be used against us. However, needing to take care doesn't mean you don't do it or try it."

Another pause, "This may sound kind of terrifying but... just go with it. See where it leads. Do you want me to go all wingman for you?" She asks with a little giggle. "Girls talk lots of girl talk. It doesn't take much of anything to get us to talk about nasty things boys can't imagine us talking about." And then she bats her eyelashes a little.

[Gerrit]

Her remark of wanting him to be happy struck a similar cord as Vivian's back then. He knew that John and Cassandra (and of course Ram) cared for him, but to hear it plainly like that was something else. His voice was a bit shaky and he kept his eyes firmly at his teacup for now. "Okay, point taken. Suppose the fire is there - what if I mistook her statement for something it's not? What if I indulge in those feelings only to-"

He held his breath and let it out slowly. Spiraling won't help now. "I know what you're about to say. I should talk to her because assuming won't get either one anywhere." It sounded like a 'but' was about to come - instead the Stonebones just shrugged slightly. "She's relatively new in the Freehold and she wanted to be friendly. From what I can tell she's not all that good with.. you know, emotions and people." That sounded terrible, but he hoped the Fairest knew what he meant. "I don't want to put her in an awkward position, least of all because I think there is a fire."

At least Cassandra's arguments against the age-difference were heard. He looked up to her thoughtfully and then slowly nodded. Yes, all Lost would think like this so he wouldn't have to be afraid to have people talk behind their backs - at least not anyone in the Freehold.

His face turned into a frown at the mention of the Ice Law. "Why? If people wanted to hurt me, they'd have plenty of opportunities already. I make no secret about our friendship, do I? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to cause any upset for no reason, but until I don't get the logic of that rule I can't fully subscribe to that idea. Friends help us, relationships keep us strong when things get rough." He knew that he was disagreeing to probably the most important tenet of the Winter Court and he could understand it on an intellectual level: don't get chained to places or people in case you have to run away. He just couldn't imagine running from the Fae and leaving friends and loved ones behind - secret or not. "I will do my best to keep a low profile, to watch out for the other Courts to do the same and I will try to prepare as well as possible for anything - but if you believe that I would abandon you or any of the other people I care about just like that, then you don't know me." Not an accusation, just a fact.

He groaned and wiped across his face with one hand, breaking open some smaller wounds and making little drops of blood appear at several places. "Sorry, I didn't want to get so intense. Uhm, I guess you're right. I'll just try to take it easy and see where it goes.. thank you for the offer, but it would feel like playing with Vivian's trust if I would declare you my wing..woman." A tired smile played around Gerrit's lips and he took a big gulp of tea.

Try as we might, every meeting between to Winters seems to be full of Sorrow.

[Cassandra Reeding]

Cassandra shakes her head on his perception of what she means on the Ice Law, "No, it is less the people of the Freehold and..." she sighs, "It's a difficult and stupid thing, genuinely. But there are cults running around, huntsmen, and crazy ass Autumns. The idea is not being overtly obvious with it that those one this Outside might use those things against you. Especially on things where you are working together. It doesn't have to mean you don't have close friendships and relationships, It's a reminder to be careful about it.

"But that is just one side of that statement. The other you could take politically - don't let anyone see your cards. " She shakes her head at that, "Obviously, it is my least favorite. Being what I am makes that one difficult, but then, you'd have to actually pay attention to read me anyway."

Watching him begin to bleed makes her heart hurt. Could she do anything to help? But then, would he want her fussing over it at all? Bring his mind away from the bad side of what is making him pick those scabs? "But no, you're right on waiting and not forcing anything. Oh, and as a note, when I wing-'woman', I don't do that whole gross manipulation crap, trying to play people up. No, it's just getting an idea about warmth and encouragement if something is actually there. But pardon my romantic mind," she chuckles a little.

"Then build friendship. You like her, you two might work really well together in general, whether things turn into something or not. You might find a friendship where you just get each other and that's worth pursuing, isn't it? Everyone needs someone that just gets them." She leans up against her counter, "Want any ice cream? Something else sweet? I have some macrons and banana bread from a batch I made last night. I know this stuff gets really stressful and the hurt just... you need something to give you a boost."

[Gerrit]

"But frankly that sounds more like 'don't flaunt your relationship excessively in public', which.. you know, that's not us anyway." He didn't want to argue too much about it though - if the Wyrd or John deemed him unfit for Winter he'd know. "I won't advertise my friendship loudly, but I'll never turn my back on you. Besides, showing something could deter people to dig deeper." He didn't seem to sure on the last part, but it sounded plausible - let them underestimate the bad Winter! "I get your point though, and I appreciate your input on the matter."

One last, deep breath. Talking to Cassandra definitely shot down a lot of worries he had. "So, that's the plan then. I'll be careful and see what happens. If something happens. Maybe I need to make something happen." The last one almost sounded like a question - a sure sign that he'll carry this problem with him for the foreseeable future. Just then he realized something, his focus snapping back to the Fairest. "Oh, I didn't mean to imply that you wanted to manipulate her or anything! It's just- I don't think things like these should be handled via third persons." Was he making his life more difficult? Maybe, but that's where he stood.

He finished his tea and while you couldn't quite call it relaxed, Cassandra probably could tell that a weight had been lifted off the Ogre's shoulders. "Actually, ice cream and banana bread sounds lovely. Thank you Cassandra.. you know, for getting me."

[Cassandra Reeding]

Cassandra just smiled. The Ogre seemed to be getting where she was going with it all and as a bonus, he wasn't asking about John. There had been a fear, given the nature of this conversation, that he might want to commiserate. Is that something only girls do? That is a thought she might need to ponder later.

The slightest ping of guilt hits her though... and yet, no, this is a good thing. He doesn't have to feel like he needs to hide what he is going through to not put me in a weird mood. He also doesn't have to - and this sounds terrible - be jealous and try to connect the two situations. Just friend to friend advice.

"My mom used to say, 'Que sera, sera'. Whatever will be, will be. Sometimes I try to keep that one in mind." She then walks over to the fridge and pulls out three pint size ice cream flavors, "Okay, I've got vanilla, cookie dough, and the peanut butter ice cream reeses. Don't judge me, but I have a thing against chocolate ice cream. It just never tastes right," she chuckles a bit, setting those down on the counter for Gerrit to ponder before picking up the container holding the banana bread and bringing it over to sit with it. Within moments, a couple of desert plates and bowls with spoons were out for however he wanted to put his food together.

"Never a problem. That's what friends are for right? Sometimes you just gotta get it all out."

[Gerrit]

Gerrit gave Cassandra another smile. That might have been a pretty song and a friendly saying, but when that which will be is just another smack in the face you start to get a bit weary. He didn't say anything though, he just watched her get all the tasty things and went through a mental checklist of issues again.

She had done a good job at making great arguments against most of the things he was worried about. Problem was: she added a biggie herself. Should he and Vivian become more than friends it would be impossible to keep it a secret. Even if he agreed to it, he couldn't imagine Vivian doing so. He couldn't blame her, but the fact of the matter remained. I guess I'll have to cross that bridge once I get to it.
"Oh, that's not a problem - I'm a vanilla type of guy myself." If the last things made by Cassandra were any indication, the ice cream would take a backseat to the banana-bread anyway. "Thank you."
Once everything was set, he waited for her to join him and took a first bite: the sweet treats were just what he needed and the Artist's baking was as good as ever. "That is delicious!"

While eating he slowly got out of his tunnel vision and thought about the Fairest again. She said she was doing well and she seemed pretty happy. Still, he wanted to show her that she could also unload onto him - he gave her another chance in case something was up. "So, what else is new?"

[Cassandra Reeding]

Cassandra smiles happily at Gerrit's response to her banana bread. Who doesn't like compliments about their cooking? She puts back the other ice cream tubs and walks back over, leaning against the island counter near Gerrit and takes a bite herself.

And then he asks her what has been up with her. Anything new? Yes. Incredibly new. You know our friend, John, that I told you I had a huge crush on, but didn't think anything could or would come of it? Yeah, apparently I was wrong. Thank god for that. Or the Fates. Something. So, now we're dating. I am quite literally so happy, I have to calm down before I go out into public so people I know don't ask me about my change in demeanor. Oh, and by the way, we have to keep that from you. Yeah... sorry about that. But, when it does eventually fail to be kept a secret, I really hope you won't be mad at us.

Obviously, all of those thoughts are entirely kept to herself. Definitely not the thing to be sharing. Although, there is a kind of sadness to that. She actually kind of likes the idea of being able to celebrate with Gerrit as she had confided in him about it. Honestly, she'd like to celebrate it with someone in general. Her last relationship she had to keep a secret too, up until Blodwen. Thankfully, Blodwen keeps secrets. Gerrit could keep a secret. No, they already talked about it.

"Life is life and I'm taking time to enjoy what it throws at me. My projects have been going really well and I've gotten bumped up as primary cellist in the symphony, so that's a feel good. And that asshole Steve who kept hitting on me quit. Oh! And I'm about to adopt a cat. Wanna see some pictures?" She'd found the sweet thing at a shelter and would be bringing them home in a few days. This is also great, because she hasn't lied about anything. Just avoided saying that one particular 'new' thing. And who doesn't want to see pictures of kittens?

[Gerrit]

Gerrit kept eating and watched Cassandra. 'Taking time to enjoy what life throws at her'? That sounded so drastically different from the last time they'd talked - either something had happened to ease her burden or her newfound appreciation for the Ice Law made her bury her Sorrow deep within. Gerrit opened his mouth: he wanted to tell her that he was her friend and that she didn't have to hide any pain from him. Just as much as she was there for him, he was there for her.

The words left unsaid, he instead scooped up some more ice cream to put the open mouth to good use. He swallowed while Cassandra finished telling him about the changes in her life. "Congratulations on your new position! And.. I guess congratulations for fending of Steve. In case no one has told you that: I'm proud of you." It didn't sound condescending or patronizing, he really meant it.

"A cat?" Probably the most surprising revelation of the day. He wasn't a cat person - which is probably why he didn't take Cassandra for one. Although it kind of made sense, thinking about it. "Sure, show me!"

[Cassandra Reeding]

There is a genuine smile at Gerrit's appreciation of her strength in dealing with the asshole that is Steve. Well, no longer. Thank goodness. Rehearsal could just be rehearsal and enjoying herself again. "Thanks. I appreciate that, really."

She giggles a little excitedly at getting to show the kitten she's about to adopt. Grabbing her cellphone from off the counter, she goes to scroll through her pictures. "So, here are a few." She proceeds to go through each picture, a brightened smile after she showed him. "Her name is Aria. Funny enough, that was her name at the shelter. I walked up to her and the first thing she did was mew at me in the most melodic way I have ever heard. When I picked her up, she just completely melted and snuggled in my arms." There is a sweet sigh. "Just a couple more days and some paperwork is signed."

[Gerrit]

He looked at each photo, dutifully adding sounds adoration for the kitten. Maybe a pet was a great idea to keep Cassandra company.

"Let's talk in a few weeks and see if her meowing will still be the most melodic thing." He chuckled a bit. "I'm sorry. But seriously: you two seemed to have found each other. That's nice."

He finished his dessert and pondered. He didn't like to talk about plans that weren't fully set in stone yet, but he wanted to take the opportunity to tell her about what else has been going on. "So, I'm thinking about buying the flower shop. The owners are struggling and I guess I could be a logical buyer.. I'd have to read up on what managing a shop actually takes - maybe Anatole can give me a few heads-ups - but I have my mind set on that." He smiled and shrugged. Hope I didn't jinx it..