(Private) Finishing off the Bottle

[Briar Rose]

"'Always hitting on women' sounds pretty fucking pervy to me." she deadpans, "Suuuure normal. Goddamn how the fuck do you think those 'pretty girls' feel." she grumbles, a sneer on her face, "Yeah! Like fuck! You're not - Fuck." a grunt. "Dude. You're not....that. What they say you fit." she stumbles around. "So. Quick to violence? Compound?" She asks, but she doesn't....whatever. She asked.

"No!" with another grimace, "Don't thank me for that. Like it's ugg, but like, whatever it's exposure and a paycheck."

Shoving her hands in her pockets, she considers that. Sure. Learning more about yourself, exploring different aspects of what made up your 'self'.

Looking at him, she nods, "As long as you remember what's real and True and not just an act. Even when you adapt and learn and grow." staring him dead in the eye, making sure he knows it's important, she for she snaps away and pours another shot.

[Kaze]

Kaze listens, smiles, doesn't laugh when Briar Rose works out what she wants to say about...guys and girls, maybe. Sounds like she knows something about unwanted attention, if not to her than someone close. Her sister? Anyway, none of his business, unless she wants to say something. He listens to her though, looking at her and focusing, cause she's really talking to him, and he wants her to know he can tell.

Then she asks, sort of, about what he said. "Well, yeah. When I got here, I sucked at being around normal people in normal situations and not blabbing things...that are not just my secrets." Kaze says plainly.

"The reason was, my whole time before, from when I first joined the company, everything I learned was in the context of training for missions, with other people like me, like, I mean we were all training to fight, protect, soldier, you know? Subtle wasn't really a thing. And that was it for like..."

His eyes turn dreamy, distant and maybe cold, for a moment, "...years. Train, do a mission, heal up, train harder." He says. "I didn't know...I mean, it wasn't anyones fault that I basically turned off my feelings when I was a kid, and just thought I was that way, hard." He says. "Pain is just weakness leaving the body, right?"

Kaze sighs. "I did fit in, and it wasn't until I got back here, to California, that...I started figuring out I had feelings, and I was better off feeling stuff, even bad stuff that hurts, then just being hard."

"So I quit." Kaze says, "Let myself feel, and started trying to figure out what felt good and what didn't, and do more of the good stuff, and less of the stuff that felt bad."

Kaze shrugs. "I don't mean to make a big deal about it. I'm just saying...someone like that can grow; it's not impossible." He says.

He nods seriously when Briar Rose tells him not to lose sight of what's important, of The Truth. "Yeah, well I guess you'll just have to be around to come kick my ass if I forget, okay?" He asks lightly but not smiling, maintaining eye contact.

[Briar Rose]

There is a lot of eye contact, and backstory that she didn't need.

but asked for.

She wants to look away, to dance her eyes on the streaks of paint drying on the brick face she wants to pain over already, but she can't let go of that the eye contact, she isn't going to be the one to look away first. He isn't a Thyrsus, but he was a Life Adept, he should know what he's doing.

A voice screams at her that what this was wasn't what her instincts was crying out about, that this was something else, something all together more human.

The silence draws out, bubbling with...something. She can't say, she feels like choking on the spit that had chased her shot.

"That's rough." she gets out. Eventually. Shoving the words passed the spit and through her teeth. "Sounds like it blew. Chunks." she swallows. It doesn't help. "Yes." nodding, "I'll kick your fucking ass." she's quick to agree.

She finally slides away from the eye contact. Feeling the loss. Feeling like meat.

"....I don't think I'd'ave liked you fresh from the compound." she says, she mutters. Hoping the words are lost to the night.

[Kaze]

Kaze nods. "Yeah." He says simply, quietly. He pours out two more shots of whiskey, and knocks his back. "When I could feel again...I didn't really like that guy either."

He looks at the painting then. Really studies it.

"So...no hope for fixing it, right? Gotta just...total do over?" He asks.

[Briar Rose]

She nods. Relieved that there wasn't a fuss.

"Dude sounds like a dick."

Then, nodding as they change conversations.

"I dunno. It's. Like. Sure. I did it. I wanted to do it like this, but it's also. Like." she throws her hands up. "I can do better."

[Kaze]

Kaze ponders a moment, noticing that the logical extention of what Briar Rose is saying would seem to be that a thing or a philosophy or a person (?) is either perfect or it's not, and if it's less than perfect...accepting its flaws isn't an option. Moving on to the next attempt at perfection is the only option.

"Wow." Kaze says. "So...do you do, 'do overs' ever? I mean...is it just the art that has to be the best...it can possibly be, to be okay? A keeper?"

He grins, "Okay, before you kick my ass, one, I have been drinking, and two...I just got insecure there, like, what if I'm not a keeper, as a friend? What if I mess up, well, mess up bad enough or enough times...?"

He deftly pours out another couple of shots for the both of them, holding out a whiskey filled shot glass to Briar Rose as a peace offering.

"And yeah, maybe I didn't exactly 'get' insecure just then, maybe my inner insecurity just came out."

[Briar Rose]

She turns to look at the Obrimos. Brow furrowed. Eyes hard. She blinks. Trying to wash away her first thought. Instinct, and oaths.

"The fuck." it could be a question, but it's not. "Your phrases are mixed up. A keeper is for a romantic partner." yeah sure he clarified but. But. Looking at Kaze. Looking at the paint. Her sleeve covers it, but - "So no, you're not a keeper." she - her hand wraps around her wrist. Blocking sink deep, Soul deep ink.

[Kaze]

Kaze looks crestfallen for just a second. "Oh. Yeah." He says.

Then he rallies, just as obviously, his expression one of hope mixed with acceptance. He pours himself another shot, letting himself get ahead of Briar Rose.

"You're good enough for anyone or anything, Briar Rose." Kaze says gently. "I am lucky just to get to hang out with you, any time, as long as you're around."

"I'm sorry for getting pushy. Forgive me?" He asks, looking at her in the eye.

[Briar Rose]

She breathes, then holds it. Puffing up her cheeks, before she blows it passed her lips in a soundless raspberry.

"There's no 'forgive' needed." she grunts out. Hand wiping away from her wrist. Just shut up and drink."

We should probably wrap this soon I've had a lot of fun in this scene

[Kaze]

Kaze holds his breath as Briar Rose does, and then, when she lets his offense pass, by characteristically denying it was an offense at all instead of being able to forgive it sure, but hey, it's a win, he sighs in relief!

Kaze grunts and shuts up and drinks, accepting the invitation to continue their friendship, at least...that's how he chooses to interpret Briar Rose's response, and he is definitely not going to try to make her actually say it! Again.

Yay! They are STILL FRIENDS! WHEW!

Yes, please do close! This belongs in continuity! Thank you for the AMAZING SCENE! *HUGS*!