Five Star Balconies

[Dirt Nap]

Dirt Nap is quiet. He listens intensely, even staring. Then when Jack is done, he is quiet again.

Finally, after a long breathless pause, Dirt Nap says. "You have been pretty open minded to my strange opinions so far. I kinda hate to test your patience."

"I have told where I'm coming from before, in Court, I think. It always seems to stir up disagreement, being somewhat philosophical, or maybe metaphysical. Or I guess worse, theological. Have you heard me talk about my embrace, and what I think I am, and what I intend to do about it?" Dirt Nap asks, as if to gauge what Jack already has heard so as not to bore him with repetition.

"I've been called naive and a heathen, and some politely tell me I'm a fool for believing it." Dirt Nap hints, helpfully.

[Jacque]

"I appreciate the consideration but I'll let you know if you skirt that line," he smiled as he sipped once more. "I slipped out of coming to Court, save the ones required by Her Grace's Laws. I don't recall hearing any such talks so I must have missed it."

A flick of his fingers dismissed his hinting, "I don't anticipate being as judging as what you describe. We all arrived here in our own ways."

[Dirt Nap]

"Well now." Dirt Nap says.

He is quiet and still for a minute.

"I remember dying." Dirt Nap says. "I supposed that might have been what you might call, 'a formative moment'. People, Kine that is, like to say, 'everybody's dying, just some people know when', but that's a lie, or just a truth that is said about something it doesn't apply to."

"I remember the whole thing, dying long and hard. Cancer. Being young and a college student, learning to be in the ministry, counseling and such, some Bible...and just before the really hard stuff got going, Biblical Hebrew and Greek and such, being real sick, going to the doctors, and getting the word, 'terminal cancer, inoperable'." Dirt Nap recalls.

"I remember fighting with a good bit of stubbornness, being determined to take every last breath I could get, not giving a single one up, not leaving a single minute on the table."

Dirt Nap is quiet.

"A big part of it was, fighting not just to breath for as long as possible, but fighting to be human. To be a human being treating other people like human beings. Not shouting at people for little mistakes no matter how much pain or how tired. I remember know that it wasn't for their sake. A lot of people would have been relieved, actually, at the opportunity to feel sorry for the dying man, raging against the unfairness of it all and taking it out on everyone around. It kinda put them on edge, a man, a young man dying a painful, lingering death, refusing to take their pity or get angry about it or at them." He says.

"It wasn't for their sake, neither. It wasn't for anyone but himself. That young man was just too stubborn to let death take away who he was, even if it took his life."

Dirt Nap is still. If he needed to breathe, he might have sighed, but he just stayed silent and still without breathing at all for long minutes.

"I recall the moment, them pronouncing him dead. I remember it like it happened to me, myself, but I don't believe it was me. I learned later, apparently my Sire noticed the fight the young man put up, and got to wondering what that would look like as one of us."

Dirt Nap chuckles. "Now, please bear with me; I am getting to answering your question." He says. "I was pretty confused after the embrace. I still don't rightly know how it could have happened after being pronounced dead. I suppose it's a fair trade, remembering the experience of dying, for not remembering exactly how the embrace itself felt. I suppose that might be a hint of what makes me odd, having that one extra human being memory and not having that one memory of our kind that I suppose must everyone like us has, of becoming one of us."

Dirt Nap shakes his head in silence. Then he says, "I don't believe I am the man who died. I believe I am an echo, or maybe you could think of it more like a record. I have the memories of the man. And perhaps the stubbornness too. I believe the same things about God and an eternal reward that he did, but I believe he got all he had coming, died and went to heaven, and it doesn't apply at all to me."

"No." Dirt Nap says. "I expect to wear down or fade away like a record played enough times to be worn down all the grooves to nothing or an echo repeated enough to fade away entire."

"But, I am determined to spend the time I have, treating people with respect, and avoiding doing any active harm to anyone as much as possible, and maybe even doing someone a good turn occasionally." Dirt Nap muses.

"I'm not in any hurry to end my existence; I have killed when my own existing was on the line, or when the Law required it, but I am not terrified of the end neither. Everything I do in the meantime is aimed at doing less harm than I might. I learned about the possible Changes that come through study with the Dragons, and put my mind to first controlling frenzy, so I wouldn't hurt someone out of my mind, and then feeding on animal blood no matter how long I might stick around, so I wouldn't have to be an active predator on humans or our own kind neither. I learned the Mask to avoid setting anyone else into frenzy after I saw a person in an animal form cause a frenzy in another that was the death of him."

Dirt Nap forms a thin smile. "So there it is. Not really all that deep, is it? Sounds even to me like the kind of thing a young, naive person might say and then put aside as they age. I might do that. I am pretty sure right now though, that I'm committed to it for the long haul. To the end. I have the memories of a man who pulled it off, went out on his own terms, so I believe it's possible."

Dirt Nap ponders and then asks, "If you don't mind saying, I am curious why you stopped attending Court except as required by Law?"

[Jacque]

Jacque listens careful, eyes tracing the night sky as planes shift and alter to make their headings. Once Dirt Nap finishes his story he muses for a moment before remarking, "That certainly explains your passiveness. I can't rightly fault you considering all that." Chipping away at the power of the Beast to live by his own terms.

He sipped on his drink, mulling over the new information before he processes the question, "There was a time where Court had fashion, art or simply sparked great conversation. Even the gatekeepers of the Clans took a more vested interest in what brought new Kindred to this great Domain. After a while it just became an exercise in futility to pack that many Kindred in one place." He shrugged, "We're expected to be better than our baser instincts, yet there was a constant clawing and tearing at each other. Always ready to dogpile on the next spectacular mistake. I find no joy in it so long as that is what I can expect."

He began to pour himself another drink as he clarified, "The mistakes have to be acknowledged as unlike you, I prefer to maintain my influence. It is less difficult when it is something of their own doing and something they quite knew better about like Mable." Placing the cap back on the decanter, "But I still choose not to sit and stare, waiting for a worst case scenario." He offers again, "You sure I can't pour you a drink?"

"If the paradigm has shifted, by all means please correct me."

[Dirt Nap]

Dirt Nap listens thoughtfully, staying still for a long minute after Jack has finished explaining his perspectives on Dirt Nap and on Court.

"Well." Dirt Nap says.

"I'd suspect you would have a better eye for the 'para-dime' at Court than I would, even if you weren't there as much as me." Dirt Nap says.

"But since you ask, I'll give you my two cents and you can do whatever you want with it."

Dirt Nap is quiet and then says, "I think it's changed. It doesn't seem like there's a pack tryin' to tear down anyone in power they can get at anymore." He says. "It's felt different to me since I got back."

"It reminds me of a wild fire." Dirt Nap 'explains'. "Before I left, like I said it felt like a pack of predators looking to bring down big game. I kinda feel like that's all burnt out now, at least for a while 'til the rains come."

He is quiet again for a long moment. Then Dirt Nap says, "Since I got back though, it's felt more to me like all the game is gone and the pack has moved on. There's still predators, but established-like, with set territories, not looking to shake things up. That's how it seems to me. Maybe less opportunities for someone looking to move in and take away territory, cause there's less of it to take, and what there is is held by the strongest around."

[Jacque]

Jacque ponders on Dirt Nap's perspective with a nod, "Getting wrapped up in power can be much like an addiction. Always chasing that first high, consuming more and more and taking every opportunity you can."

A brief sigh as he reminisced of the past, "I'm glad the ravenous moved on from this city and I'm equally glad to hear that things are improving. There's nothing wrong with shaking things up, just as there is nothing wrong with grasping for more power..." he paused as he glanced over the fields to the West, "Frankly, such a challenge is good for the established. Keeps things from growing stale in the Domain and shows them where they may need to forge alliances and build bridges." He paused to sip on his drink.

"There's a way to do it and maintain the balance that has been long established here. You have to exercise a degree of care and respect for it or it will swallow you whole," he mused for a moment, "I do hope you stay in Sacramento for many, many years. I also hope that as conflicts ebb and flow you learn to recognize the changes and perhaps pick up on ways to influence things for the better." He paused briefly before adding, "For yourself as well as those who've done right by you."

[Dirt Nap]

Dirt Nap listens to Jack intently. Then when Jack is done, Dirt Nap says, "You do seem to have it figured out."

Dirt Nap chuckles, "It seems to me like you could almost be setting a long term line lure, like down the line you could see me being less, 'passive' and wanting to learn to 'influence' things, along the lines of your Order."

Dirt Nap nods. "Anything could happen, if you give it some time." He says.

"It also seems to me like you might really still be more interested in observing and learning what motivates our kind, as individual specimens, and maybe wondering how much free will we really have, any of us, than in actually helping out everyone in pickle."

Dirt Nap chuckles again, "Sounds to me like you're closer to being Dragon even now than you might know. Give it some time, and you might run out of interesting variations on the observations and experiments you can do using your Order's ways and influence, and you might want to take another look at the Dragons, from the inside. I have a theory, you might could find it more directly a scratch to your itch, and would rise up real quick, even starting over from scratch."

[Jacque]

"Almost," Jacque coyly replied, "Naturally I am casting a line, but it is more out of personal intrigue and motivation than anything to do with my Order. There are endless nights in front of us, nights that may see our goals align at some point and seeing how you carry yourself with an air of dignity and respect," he shrugged, "There may be more to our story down the road."

"We simply can't help everyone, unfortunately. I find watching and listening to be the most valuable tools at our disposal. With these tools, however, it is a pitfall to only watch and listen. Sometimes it requires a more direct engagement to unveil some of the variables in play," he motioned to the surrounding balcony, "Ergo the very point of such a meeting."

He grinned to himself at Dirt Nap's observation, "Perhaps if promises ever fail to deliver, I might take you up on that. I owe my loyalty to the Unconquered and I don't intend to welch on such a debt unless they do so first." His hand tilts over, "That being said, I do have a vested interest in the Dragons being stable and successful. It is helpful to Domain stability and it is helpful to my personal goals. I'd like to help where possible but I'm waiting to see how Mister Quilz plays out. If you were at the head of the table I wouldn't have quite the reservation," he sipped on his drink, "However, I simply can't afford to back a lame horse in that venture."

[Dirt Nap]

"Huh." Dirt Nap says after listening intently, even staring at Jack throughout his speaking.

"Well." He says. "I get the general impression that you are satisfied with the meeting. I'm glad of that. I guess I wouldn't even know it, if you influenced me along some trail or another." Dirt Nap shakes his head slowly, "So I am not going to worry about that for one minute. Not because I think I am safe from being influenced, just that I think it'd be a waste of time to try to suss out whether I was and in which direction."

"I think I'll just choose to look at the 'motive' part, and figure you have a better idea what makes me tick, and it isn't a thing that makes you wish you didn't." Dirt Nap says thoughtfully.

"As for me, I tend to look at what a person does, or doesn't do. You invited me, and as far as I can tell, it weren't no trap. That's a good night, I'd say, and thank you for it."

"As for being here a long time, or being around in general a long time, I don't much think about it, except to take a few precautions, like learning how to Change myself, so that if I do find myself at an advanced age, no matter how unlikely that might seem, I won't need to murder anyone over it." Dirt Nap says. "I try to work things out to where I'm doing something I think is worth while as much of the time as I can manage, but not anything I'd feel cheated, if I wasn't around to see it finished."

Dirt Nap is silent for a long moment.

Then he says, "I've only been here a relatively short while, and I've already seen too many come in, thinking they have a long time to execute their plans and reach their goals, and then disappear like a stone dropped into a deep well in the dark. Not a ripple. I don't particularly think I'm much if any more special then all of them were. I don't tend to think about time like I have all I could ever need. You never know."

"I'm aiming to loyally serve my superior in the order, because he's here, and he's my superior. I got no gripe against it. I have my own ideas about advancing myself in my order, but it's a slow thing, almost something to keep busy at, keeping out of mischief so to speak, and it's interesting work. I have nothing against him for showing up, before I managed to get to the rank where he wouldn't be my superior. But with all that, there's no telling how long he's be around, or who else might show up. So I don't really concern myself with it."

Dirt Nap pauses. "Now, your order has a goodly amount of members with different jobs outside the order. I don't quite follow it all. Please, don't take no offense, and do tell if I have it all wrong, I especially don''t have a clue as the the right titles, but is the Lady, Twist the superior in the order over everyone else in it, including the one who is her superior outside it?"

[Jacque]

Jacque grinned, almost smiling as Dirt Nap vocalized his assessment of the Lord's motives and possible nefarious activities, "Are you seeking validation or merely trying to convince yourself?"

He motions out to the fields, "A Lord choosing not to make eye contact is like sheathing a sword. The guest would know if there is a change and know that there hasn't. For what it is worth, I can assure you I have not 'influenced' you supernaturally." He waved a hand dismissively at the gratitude, "You're welcome."

"That's fair, and what I would expect given the details you provided," his fingers trace along the edge of his glass, "I did not intend to suggest a coup. Nor would I, without significantly more motivation to be against Mister Quilz."

"You've caused me no offense, but honestly the worst thing you can possibly do in the web of Invictus etiquette is guess. My best advice is to stick with what you know and they will tell you their preference if they want something more," setting the glass on the table, "Take the Priscus of Haunts, for example. She was referred to as Miss Hazelton in Court, and she explained she would accept Lady Hazelton, Lady Notary Hazelton or simply Lady Notary." Turning a hand palm up and gesturing towards Dirt Nap, "With that in mind, let me ask: Do know the Archon by any other name?"