Presence
Mable understood wanting to hang onto what made you feel like you, "Who do you want to be?" she asked Elettra. "Maybe I should ask, who were you? How did you identify as? And who or what do you want to identify as now?"
Movie Night
40009
THREADID
42
POSTS
31 - 40
DISPLAYED
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Mable understood wanting to hang onto what made you feel like you, "Who do you want to be?" she asked Elettra. "Maybe I should ask, who were you? How did you identify as? And who or what do you want to identify as now?"
Trying to figure out how to answer she takes a few minutes. "I was the good Catholic daughter. Always doing what my parents expected of me. I was devoted to the sciences and being a nurse. And now, I am still the devoted nurse but for different reasons, as I have already explained. Beyond that, I haven't really figured out what I want to identify as. I am learning, growing, and trying to figure out who this new me is. I know I don't want to be someone who people think they can take advantage of or think I am soft. I want to be a good leader for my clan. What about yourself?"
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Mable thought about this. People usually didn't really care to get to know her. "I am learning new things everyday. I used to always be alone in the woods. Once my sire was sure I was ok on my own she didn't come around. Being social is so new to me. Being with a group of vampires, is very new to me. I am used to nature, and not the political stuff."
"The thing I feel the most strongly about is protecting the community, the domain. It's who I am. I believe in creation." The tenant, creation is power ran through her head. "Even in creation there has to be death. Like a tree dies but as it disintegrates it feeds other life."
Listening to Mable, her background explains why she's struggling right now socially and politically. "Well, as long as your learning and growing from your experience with the vampire community, I am sure you'll be just fine in the long run."
"I agree with you there. Everything has a beginning and an end. Not everyone likes to think about that. But, I often remind myself that it can all be over soon. It helps me to live in the moment."
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"That's interesting. I don't think many kindred think about how soon things can end. So many are deeply involved with their own desires. Or even in trying to over come boredom that they forget how quickly it all can end. I mean, we do tend to be fairly indestructible but we can be destroyed. It is almost like how teenagers think." Mable ponders the thought before adding. "I like the living in the moment thought. At least trying to make the most of each moment."
"I have lost too many kindred friends in the short years since my embrace. I know all too well, even though we are hard to kill given the right circumstances it can happen faster than we realize."
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Mable reaches over and gives her friend a hug. "I am so sorry. That is one thing that I will never get used to... losing people. I haven't had many people to lose. I have kept to myself for so long. I have walled myself off from others." Mable closes her eyes for a moment. "Given my recent issues in the domain, I think that was probably the best thing for me to do. I should have stayed by myself in the woods."
Smiling, "Thank you, I appreciate that." With a somber look, "Unfortunately, I am on that enjoys being social. I am drawn to it and being who we all are losing people often come with the territory."
"I think you're being too hard on yourself. Don't give up just yet. It takes some adjusting but I know you can do very well if you keep at it!"
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Mable just gave a half-hearted smile. "I'll keep trying."
The fireworks scene starts. "I always find this so romantic but sad at the same time. She is afraid he is using her, but doesn't want him to be using her because she is falling in love. They just show the emotional tug of heart and head so well."
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we are at month's end. are you good at stopping here?
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