Dirt Nap's Room

**Dirt Nap** · Feb 20th, 2019 10:14 PM

"No Ma'am, I'm not, you're right there, Grand Wyrm." Dirt Nap says in a sober tone.

"But I miss it, being afraid. It's a good help to staying alive. I remember what it was like, even if I don't much feel it now." he muses.

After a brief pause in thought, Dirt Nap says, "Now, that's a big part of what I am fighting, the Beast telling me to do stupid things that would be the end of me. I really don't want to end just yet, not again. So, I fight to remember what I probably ought to be afraid of, even if all I feel is angry and spoiling for a fight, and I fight to exercise some appropriate caution."

"The Beast is trying to end me just as much as the cancer ever did, and it will likely win in the end, but I am going to fight it every day with every tool I can learn." he says determinedly.

Feb 21st, 2019 01:33 AM

Moretti chuckled, considering his words, considering the fact that he sounded so trapped in something he had complete, ultimate control over. "You can turn that Discipline off, can't you? You might want to try it for a bit. Just to remember the fear. Just to know what it is to have that caution again." She gestured at him. "Fear's got its place. You can never truly master the Beast if all you do is deny parts of it. You should see the Prince. Know she's terrifying. Understand that, at a visceral, instinctive level - so that you never forget the importance of fear. Because I disagree with you on one point. The Beast doesn't want to die. What it wants is freedom and control. That is what we deny it as we study Terror."

**Dirt Nap** · Feb 21st, 2019 11:38 AM

Dit Nap listens closely, motionlessly to Lina Moretti's words. Then he blinks once in surprise.

"You know. Ma'am, Grand Wyrm. I...never thought of that. Thank you." he says in wonder. "There it is, though. Just considerin' shutting it down, I felt fear. I didn't know it, but I guess I'm like that raccoon in the trap; they hollow a log, make a hole just big enough for a 'coon to slip in an open paw, but not pull it out as a fist, and put something shiny in the hole. In the morning, they find the 'coon stuck, 'cause he will not let go no matter what, and they kill it." Dirt Nap 'explains'.

"I guess a thing I learn, that I use against the Beast...is a shiny thing to me. I...will have to see if I can let go, if I need to." he muses. "That'll be a little experiment, to be sure."

Feb 21st, 2019 06:45 PM

Well. There it was. Another experiment, another test for the Supplicant who so badly wished to minimize the extent of his harm on the world. "Things that are worthwhile rarely are easy, Nap," replied Lina, leaning against the wall languidly. "Just you wait. I've got an experiment on deck that's going to test the edges of Torpor itself. I think that's the way I have to go next, to understand what I really want to understand - to get a breadth of experience that will build into the next stage of the Great Work. It's going to be a tough one."

She paused, peering thoughtfully at the watchful young Gangrel.

"Perhaps you could help me, when the time is right."

**Dirt Nap** · Feb 21st, 2019 08:56 PM

Dirt Nap nods in agreement. Then, when Lina Moretti finishes speaking. "To be honest, Ma'am Grand Wyrm, helping in your experiment would seem a higher honor to me than a postion. Anyway, I would be honored if it turned out that way." he says.

Feb 22nd, 2019 10:58 AM

Lina smiled at the Gangrel.

"When I get there, then."

With that, she opened the door and went back to whatever it was the Grand Wyrm did when she was out of sight of her people.

Thanks for the scene.

**Dirt Nap** · Feb 22nd, 2019 01:42 PM

Dirt Nap quietly closes the door behind her.

My pleasure! Thank you for asking interesting questions that I did not fully know the answers to until Dirt Nap answered!

Dirt Nap's Room

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