Waking up is hard to do

[Alice Hart]

Once she knows Ale isn't going to leave her alone in the Black. It was black, the truth and not the white. But...was this a trick? Was this the Black between the serpent's rancid breath and the white? She'd forget it ever happened and repeat. Over and over and over - "I'm...good." she repeats, sitting placidly even with the blood scent strong in the air.

"Lyssa...." the light steps and the golden voice. Alice loved to listen to her read. "Call her, or hold up the phone so I can talk to her....she can see the girls." comes out before her mind caught up, "The girls...my Herd. Lyssa can get me human blood." It takes her everthing not to moan at the thought, but Alice thinks, that doing that, would undermine her efforts to show Ale she's in control.

"Call her." Alice nods. "I need to feed, and heal..." it didn't hurt so much, but the Haunt knew that if she was indeed awake then when she slept she didn't have enough blood to have seen her through what wounds she'd gained from the Brood. Nor what was needed to have the stake strike true.

In a small voice when Alice hears the Savage move around to reach her phone. "How...how long has it been?"

[Alessandra]

Again with the answer of ‘good’. Well, it was better than what it could be.

Her Herd?!

“You just woke up and are hungry, do you trust yourself with human blood?” she asks, a little surprised. More importantly, does she trust Alice with human blood. “And do you want your Herd to see you like this?” this being hungry, hole in her chest and tied to a chair. “You could very easily lose control with human blood, and with your Herd, that could mean a Breach.” She wanted to lay out what could go wrong.

“You’ve held it together pretty damn well so far, I just don’t want anything to happen. I just got you back, I don’t want to have to lose you again.” This time it would be for a Breach, and that was a harsher punishment.

“Is there any way she can get the blood into a cup or some type of container to bring?” she didn’t want a human in here, not now, not yet.

“I know and understand you need to feed, but we need to make sure you can control the hunger and the Beast before a human is introduced. Do you understand my concerns?” please say you understand she silently begs. But she does take her cell out and looks for the number, ready to call should her fears be addressed.

Then the question, she knew Alice would have questions, but it still wasn’t easy to hear or answer.

“A couple months. Others have asked about you, but I said you were attending Domain business.” Her voice gets softer, “To be honest, I wasn’t sure how to answer.” She wasn’t ashamed about what she did, but she wasn’t sure it was anyone elses business either.

[Alice Hart]

"I didn't mean bring them here." Alice shakes her head, "I mean that Lyssa could get the blood. From them....they're my Herd. Not my friends. It's like a cult. Witches maybe....I've asked for their blood for a...ritual before. Or what's what I've told them....Lyssa gets the blood....I wonder what she's told them about me not being...around."

"I'm in control." Alice says as firmly as she can. "Lyssa'll bring it to me in a thermos or something like that. You can grab it from her, leave her out of the-my office, and feed like you did before...."

"I understand." She says, strangely calm. Feeling like she was floating. "Don't let her in, and don't untie me. Feed me the human blood, and then see how I react. If I'm still good. Bring Lyssa in." then it wasn't a random person who was at risk but Alice's own ghoul.

"Ah." A couple of months. Longer then she thought, but shorted then it could have been. She could have been left with a stake in her breast. "It's okay...I can say that I was dealing with consequences of the Brood's attack." which would be true, just not how most would think. "Robert - " Robert "I left him that message, he'll know that I was in torpor. He...might have said something to-to....the others." Was Longstreet awake? Was Cynthia still within the Domain? How many others had come and gone while she was unawares?

[Alessandra]

And then it was clear.

“Ah, got it. That could work.” But would Lyssa be willing to do it? Alice had been in Torpor for a couple months, did Lyssa wait for her? Oh how Ale hoped she did, cause then Alice losing Lyssa would be another thing for her feel guilty about.

“Right now, I believe you are in control, but I have to make sure.” She can’t risk a frenzied vampire in Nox. “I’ll call her, and put the phone against your ear, I’m sure she will feel better hearing from you than me.” She didn’t want to just put something against Alice’s face without telling her.

“That sounds like a plan.” And one she intended to do anyways. The restraints were not coming off until Ale was certain Alice wasn’t a frenzy risk.

“Whatever you feel is the best explanation. I didn’t want to speak for you, and I also didn’t think it was anyones business who wasn’t involved. But if you wanted to tell others about it, that is up to you.” She owned what she did, and wouldn’t deny it, but she wasn’t going to plaster it around Nox either.

And then Roberts name is brought up.

“I know he didn’t sound happy with the answers, or well, lack of answers I gave him. He sent me a text and called, I advised him of the situation, and after speaking with the Prince, where you were. I don’t think he believes or supports my decision, but it really isn’t his place. But I’m sure he wants to see you as soon as possible. As to if he said something to anyone else, I don’t know.” There was a pause, “I also understand if you’re upset or mad at me for my decision. It wasn’t any easy one, and it’s been a decision I’ve struggled with since that night. But, that aside, I respect your feelings and will accept them whatever they may be.” There, that was said.

“I’ll begin dialing and then place the phone to your ear, so don’t be surprised at that.” There was a hint of a smile in her voice. Oh how she missed talking to Alice.

Not sure if I need to do anything special or anything to have Ale call Lyssa

[Alice Hart]

"It's okay." Alice tries to comfort the Savage, "I understand." calm, like she was just a person who'd been tied up for shits and giggles, and not a monster that could fly off the handle at any given moment.

anything to taste human blood again

"Thank you." she says, leaving it open as to which she meant, the pre-warning of the phone that would soon be near, or that the Reeve decided that she wouldn't speak for her.

Alice stills to that completely inhuman level as Ale gives her the first news of Robert. "I told him not to blame you." Alice remembers that. She remembers that with a startling clarity. It was that message she'd left for the Burned Man, the thought that it might have been the last time she would have spoken to him....only to have the call go to voicemail. "I'll talk to him." she says, because she will, and because under her thirst for the blood that Lyssa will bring, there was a need to know, that this was real. That she was real, that he was real. In the moments between, in the fleeting black. There was nothing, and she was nothing.

Alice shakes her head.

"I decided to stay. I choose not to run....so I accepted that I would have to face something. Torpor seems reasonable. I didn't fight you over it, right?" Alice's head tilts in question. She couldn't remember fighting Ale, only for the Savage to finally stake her. "i'll talk to him." she repeats.

A nod, a small "Kay," then the sound of the number being dialed and then the nearly foreign sound of the phone pressing against her ear, connecting to the other line.

"Lyssa." Alice coos when she hears the golden sound of the other women's voice. In her strange hollow voice, Alice asks of her ghoul what the Reeve and the Seneschal (was she even still Seneschal? Ale said she was in her office....) had discussed.

Once the plans where laid out, Alice says not a goodbye but a see you soon, and nods for Ale to end the call. "She'll be here soon."

[Alessandra]

She debates her words before speaking, “I’m not surprised he’s upset, he seems to care deeply for you. But I wasn’t able to give him much information about the situation because I didn’t have all the answers he probably wanted. His Grace did not give me the date to wake you when we spoke, though I did request you to be held here. I felt it was the safest place given the problems with the Brood, I didn’t want to put you in danger. I’m going to be frank here, and if I upset you, I am sorry, but I worry that his view on the issue is being clouded by his feelings. I’m not saying he isn’t justified in being upset, that’s his right, but I don’t think he’s viewing it objectively. But I don’t blame him. I spent these months struggling with my decision, wondering if I acted harshly or overstepped. My brain told me if I did then His Grace would have stepped in and either removed me from office, or ended my Danse. But my heart was heavy. And it was a new experience for me, I’ve never had that internal conflict before. I’ve never had anyone I considered a friend and someone I trusted.” There was pain in her words, and some confusion. “But that’s my own struggle, not yours. I’m sure Robert will be excited and happy to hear your voice, you should call him when you feel up to it.”

She studies the Haunts face as she speaks, “No, you didn’t fight me over it. And we could have gone to His Grace if you felt my decision was too heavy. And I wouldn’t have blamed you if you wanted his opinion. I acted based off what he said before, but I believe I could have acted differently. You’re not a monster, nor a threat to the Domain.” She couldn’t see Alice as a monster, even though she knew that at their very core, they were all monsters.

She patiently holds the phone, allowing Alice to speak as long as she wishes. With the nod, she takes the phone and ends the call.

“I really need to get me a Ghoul one of these days.” She says, maybe trying to lighten the dark mood. “Did you want me to dial Roberts number for you? Did you want to speak to him now, or wait until after Lyssa has arrived?” she’d call him if that’s what Alice wanted, not that she wanted the burnt man here right now. But she’d respect Alice’s wishes.

[Alice Hart]

Alice listens to what Ale has to say. Nodding when it seemed like she should.

"...it doesn't seem like there's a lot under the scars, but there is. I know." Alice has experienced it first hand. "I'll talk to him." she says once more still feeling distant from herself, numb and wrapped in gauze. "You did what you thought was best. And since you're still Reeve," or at least Alice hoped the Italian was still Reeve, "And that I still have an office," which hopefully meant that she was still Seneschal, "I think you made the right choice."

Sidestepping exactly how she felt, because she honestly didn't know how she felt. She would have to think. Think when she wasn't chained, and when the Wraith wasn't still slithering within, calling for blood. Though the latter would never abate.

"Good." a nod, "Good. I couldn't remember...but. I can't because that didn't happen. So. Good."

i am a monster. but i'm not a threat to the domain. something whispers from deep within. "Thanks, for saying so."

A hollow laugh, which startled her even as she was it's source.

Nothing in the white caused that sounds to manifest.

"Lyssa's the best. You should find someone you can..." use sounded bad, "ghoul. Maybe from your Heard?"

The next question causes Alice's heart to leap up to her throat.

yes.yesyesyesyesyesyes

"If I talk to him he'll want to come here....and I-I don't want him to see me like this." Alice admits.

[Alessandra]

It still remained to be seen if she made the right call. Asa may not have taken action against what she did, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t on his radar. And not for the right reasons. “Yes, you still have an office because you are still Seneschal. As to me still being Reeve, I’m sure I’m skating on thin ice and will be watched more closely from now on. But that’s ok, and I trust His Grace to act as he sees fit in this matter.” If it meant losing her position, so be it. She didn’t want to, she felt there was still a lot of good she could do for the Domain.

“We talked about it, you requested time to meditate, which I saw no problem with.” As far as staking goes, it wasn’t violent or in anger.

“I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t view you as such. You have quite a few allies within the Domain, quite a few Kindred look up to you. Myself included.” The Haunt handled her position and power with grace, not many could.

“I plan to look into it. Once things with the Brood are settled and I can focus my attention elsewhere.” She didn’t have time to focus on finding someone she trusted and wanted to Ghoul.

“I understand.” And she wouldn’t push the issue. “Did you want me to call him and let him know the status of things? Or wait until after Lyssa comes and let you handle that on your own?” she asks. “These probably seem like stupid questions, but when I awoke after Torpor it was under different circumstances and just want to make everything as smooth as possible for you.”

[Alice Hart]

"I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is." Alice says, the Prince wouldn't suffer fools, and if he thought that of Ale, she wouldn't be Reeve and she wouldn't be the one to wake her now. "You just have to prove his faith is well placed."

"Right..." Alice breathed nodding, maybe that is why she was so calm now. A willingness and the time to settle her mind. "Thank you, for giving me the time."

"I doubt that." she really had a hard time believing that. Since April she had been a starving mess, a monster focused on only one thing. Her control had broken, proving how much of flight risk she was in truth. Mediation. Alice thought, Meditation and prayer. That would help. "But, thanks...for saying it."

So in the months she was down, the Brood were still a threat.

"When i'm healed and fed. Count me in. I'm going to stop those blasphemers. Even if I'll end up staked again." Alice nods as firmly as she can with her Curse and the jerking doll-like movements it brings.

A smile, "I'll handle it. After, definitely after." a pause. "Thank you." Alice says, pushing as much emotion as she can into it. It isn't much, and what's there seems as hollow and fake as always, "This....I never thought I'd wake like this. This....this isn't the horror stories I've heard."

[Alessandra]

Laughing softly, “Figure this out. I stake you and feel like shit about it, and you’re here trying to make me feel better. Somethings not right here.” She says, trying to joke. “If allowed, it will take some time to prove that to him. I just hope I’m able to do it.” It wouldn’t be easy, but it would be worth it.

“You can have all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere until you tell me to.” She would have Lyssa then, and Robert to look after her. And if something happened to Alice then? Well, lets just say someone was going to have a bad night. Their last.

“You can doubt it, but it’s true. When you meet with your Family, look into their eyes when they talk to you and you talk to them. And then tell me you doubt it.” Cause she didn’t think Alice could deny it after that. “Remember, I suck at sugar coating things, and we promised to be brutally honest with each other.”

There was a chuckle, “Why am I not surprised you want another piece of the Brood.” She kind of figured Alice would want in. “I know I can’t stop you, you not only out rank me, but I won’t stop you from something you want. But things will be different this time. I still don’t know how they found us, so I’m going to find a warehouse on my own, and then Her Grace will summon Dirge. We are going to be prepared for her to bring Brood with her, but we’ll have the upper hand. I’ll be calling a meeting of those who wish to fight and can. I want to know everyones strengths and place them accordingly. The Brood doesn’t walk out of the warehouse, Dirge can either come willingly, or not to answer for her crimes. But we don’t lose anyone, no one falls to them.” There was determination in her tone. “And you, we’re going to work on arming you. I’ve decided to teach you Protean. We cannot have you unarmed in a fight, it isn’t safe. But if I do this, the teachings stay between us, you have to promise not share what I’ll teach you. Protean can be a very dangerous power in the wrong hands, and I trust you to not only wield the power, but keep its secrets.” There, she told Alice her plan. Teach her Protean.

Having Alice thank her was a shock. After having staked the woman and restrained her in a chair, she thanks her?

“I’m not sure I deserve to be thanked.” She says a little more quietly. “I believe everyone has a different experience when they awaken. My own was more violent, and it was pleasant.” But it had been under different, very different, circumstances. “I didn’t want that to happen to you, but I wasn’t aware of how I could go about it. You’ve suffered enough in your life, and you didn’t deserve to wake up violently.” Perhaps not going into Torpor fighting made a difference? Or maybe it was the violent life Ale had led that caused hers to be different. It was hard knowing, Torpor was a weird thing.