Seasonal Mixture

He was glad to hear his remark about the questions' difficulty wasn't taken the wrong way. Not that it was likely to be - Sasha seemed like the type of person who had a sincere kind word and thought for just about everyone. For a moment, even the chilly aura around her wasn't so much a distraction, as it was a soothing feeling. Then another moment. And another.

But there was the big question. He didn't discuss it with anyone in San Fran, because he felt nobody really cared (which he could understand and respect) or if someone did, it was for all the wrong reasons.

"Well, since I brought it up, I can as well tell you. It was my wife. I worked at an IT company and lost that job because of my own laziness and irresponsibility. We had a newborn son and a mortgage to pay, but all I did fter that was wallowing in self-pity. That's where I was replaced in her life by my... evil twin. After I was back from the woods I found them, well-off and happy, in fact happier than I've ever seen her. It didn't feel right to spoil it, even if I knew she was living a lie. So I ran all the way to the Bay, got a new life. Never imagined I'd be back, but here I am, trying to make things a little better than I've found them. Trying not to let people down."

So there it was, the short version of his life's story, containing all of the important facts, though. He was ready to receive judgment and a sentence.

"I was a coward. I think I still am. But I'm working on it, and I think it's got to count for something."

He had a thoughtful expression on his face, marveling at the way this conversation took such personal route. And then the Dancer's anser came.
Damn, talk about personal.

"Can I ask why? If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine and understandable, I just want to understand you better. If you suspect where she might be I could ask around, help you find her."

ooc

You're right about the soiree/sortie thing (that's what I get for writing posts at 2AM). And by "miss it" I mean "miss changing scenery once in a while". I wasn't clear, sorry!

Wife. That resonated in her ears loud and clear. The Fairest didn't quite know how to proceed. "I understand." Softly nodding. "It doesn't make you a coward though. But it's hard to see through our own eyes. We see more faults in ourselves than anyone else."

Leaning forward ever so slightly, she stopped. She tried again, there was something the Dancer wanted to ask, but the knitting of her brows described the difficulty she was moving through in her head. "Does that mean you..." Her lips pursed, not entirely sure how to phrase what she wanted to say.

The Onyx breathed in, calmly, but jagged. "Thank you, but you won't find her." She slowly blinked while looking into the Darkling's eyes.

"My mother passed away after I was taken. She had cancer. In the end, I broke a cardinal rule and visited her right before she..." The Fairest didn't need to explain what the rule was to him. "The other had never visited her. Her arrogance had magnified greatly. I don't think she even came back to the states." Sasha hoped it remained that way. "I don't feel I ever did her justice. I went off to Europe for mostly my own reasons. I'd send her money, but it was probably not enough to cover any of the costs. Maybe she would have lived if I would have sent more." Sighing her head hung down a little. The guilt was always there, it never seemed to go away.

Oh no, he sure as heck wasn't ready for this. Contempt? Sure. Mockery? Bring it on. But not this, not these dreaded words.

"I understand"
She understands.

It might be that Sasha's kind attitude was showing right now, or that she genuinely can relate to his story. Seeing as he fell for it hook, line and sinker anyway, it didn't make that much difference now, did it? But the way she leaned forward and asked her unfinished question spoke of the sincerity of it, and so he decided to reciprocate the move, bending over the table for inches that felt like miles.

"That I...?" what? What could she be trying to say? "I didn't try to reestablish my relatioship with her, or anyone else for that matter... yet, if that's what is on your mind. But if it's something different, feel free to ask. I'm like an open book before you." he smiled warmly, as always when he wasn't sure if his words won't be taken the wrong way. In a weird fashion, this conversation was going to well, too... natural for him to cut it short now.

"I'm sorry for your loss." that was the only thing he said for a long while after Sasha finished speaking. The worst thing he could do was to drown this moment of sorrow in hollow words.
And yet, that's what he did. Most probably, at least. Still, it was worth a shot to keep the Dancer talking.

"Maybe. I know it sounds like something out of pop-psychology literature, but they at least got that right. We all have to move on eventually. The memory of your mother can make you stronger, the lessons learned will allow you you grow. You can't change the past. What you can do, is use the past to change your future. You have friends here that will help you, and if I can be of any assistance whatsoever, all you have to do is say a word."

God, that sounded a lot better in his head. Anxiously, he waited what the Fairest will make of it.

A little relieved that the Darkling didn't take what she said the wrong way, or blow up at her for that matter, the gentleness eased over her face. "Yes, I think that's what I'm asking. I have had relationships that didn't last, mostly because... well, I'm not sure about one of them. Others, they were called away to other places, or attend unfinished business." A knot of sadness emerged to her throat. "So, I know what it's like." Swallowing hard and pausing while she looked down. "It doesn't mean that I've shunned it all away, despite the club I'm in."

Sighing, she looked up. "I think I said a little too much."

Sasha wondered if she seemed desperate. No, the two barely knew each other, but there was something about him. It was probably one-sided. Maybe he was trying to make some personal gain, but why would it matter to a Summer. Alexander had nothing to gain in his own Court by sucking up to her.

"My mother's death brought me where I am today." Placing her hand on the mug by him, chilling it just a moment before the warmer turned it back to it's original stasis. "I don't know how to ask for help, or what you could do to help, Alexander." She wanted to stop there, the Dancer really couldn't think of anything more.

"If you know of something, I'd welcome the suggestion." Soft violet eyes looked right at the Mirrorskin, warm beneath her chilled being. He didn't know her, nor understand her like anyone from her past. Never knowing that she used to trip over her words or become quickly embarrassed. The growth she'd done with past freehold members was gone, and now she'd have to prove to the new people that she wasn't an Ice Queen.

Why it mattered so much to her with Alexander, she couldn't put her finger on it.

The ebbs and flows of the Lost society can be a real pain when one wants to have someone to stand against Fate alongside them. At least that's what Alexander is thinking when Sasha mentions her past attempts at establishing relationships. The sadness in the Onyx Monarch's voice pulled him back to reality, however, as the crystal clear emotion levitates between them. Pulling information about the one unmentioned relationship might send the wrong message, however, so Alexander decides to approach the topic from a different position.

"Are you telling me there was, at some point in time, someone blind or foolish enough to leave your side for anything other than a life-or-death situation? And I thought being a club member made you see things more clearly."

If there'd be a third person listening to this conversation, they might've thought the compliment corny, but anyone with eyes to see could plainly perceive that it was genuine. Had that third person been slightly more perceptive, they might've noticed the seemingly random movement of the Darkling's right hand, brushing the back of the Dancer's hand for less than a second, and so lightly that it could be easily dismissed as something imagined.

"It's easier than you think. Here's my cell <<number>>, all you have to do is call it, and I'll be there, hell or high water. And as for suggestions, well... I've found that blowing off steam in a controlled environment can be very refreshing. Punching bags are great idea-inducers. That, and a good, long, honest talk - to literally spit out our clubs' designated emotions. It's them who work for us, not the other way around and it's good to sometimes remind them of that."

If that third person would stick around, they'd notice a slightly embarassed look on the suited man's face, as if he wonders whether or not had he crossed the line between being sincere and looking ridiculous while not breaking eye contact for even a moment. The onlooker would probably find this amusing.

Well, screw him.

A soft laugh came from her throat, followed by a smile. It was, in some way, a compliment. The Fairest realized that this was probably as awkward for him as it was for herself.

"Well, one of them wasn't a club member." She took in a breath before she vaguely explained. "He was a nice guy, hung out with bikers but drove one of those trike things. But, he was a pastor, well, he didn't practice or at least I thought. He went on a sabbatical and never came back. I would have reported him missing, but well, you know." Shrugging trying not to state the obvious reason aloud. Waving her hand, as if waving away the cloud over her head, she changed her tone to less of a serious tone. "That was several years ago though. There was a club member. Although, that was sort of strange and I don't think it would have lasted long even if he did stick around." His touch was felt, but she left it as a possible accident, even though her eyes lifted to his as she'd felt the Summer's hand graze her own.

I really need to get rid of John's truck.

She was a little shocked to hear the Darkling offer his number and all that went with it. Hell and high water could happen at any given moment. "What happens if it's not hell... or even high water?" Her lips lifted into a curious smile. Alex's mention of steam made her mind drift to something else for a split second.

"I do blow off steam though, in another way."

Don't mention that thing you do behind closed doors with him.

"I dance. I put on music that fits what I'm feeling and just give in to the lyrics, rhythm, anything." Her head tilted a little. "Do you dance at all, Alexander?"

The Dancer maintained a poker face the entire time, yet the changes in the tone of her voice were obvious to hear. He listens to the recount of previous relationships/companions/boyfriends/it's-complicated's, and wonders at the wide social circles she keeps herself in. A...

"...biking pastor riding a trike? And an outsider at that? Did he stumble here for some jazz and whiskey?" He didn't want to come out as nosy or anything, and his equally curious and less-than-serious tone suggested that clearly, but this story sounds way too good not to tell.

"Not hell and not high water? Like what, a lukewarm walk in the park? Because I'm always for a walk in the park." After a moment of consideration, he continued. "All I'm saying is if you need company or assistance with a matter, related to the club or not, I'm glad to help out. Besides, how great would it be to finally see some Red and Blue working together?" Jesus Christ, an obscure political reference escaped his mouth before he could keep it inside. What a nerdy, no-fun thing to say.

Another way? What could she...ooohhhh.

"I don't. Not casually, anyway. It may have happened once or twice at a charity balls I've attended, but thankfully everyone was way too drunk by then to remember. Honestly, I can't picture myself dancing, the lack of dexterity and flexibility would probably make it a disaster. What do you dance, though?"

When the Darkling asked the question, it was something that had never occurred to the Fairest before. Why was John even around here and with the crowd he was with. "You know, I guess it never came up. I just made sure he wasn't that which won't be named, and didn't really question him down to all of that. I'd seen some of the other guys he'd been around before." Not that the Dancer hung out with bikers, but, it was hard to miss that crowd.

Red and 'blue' had worked together. Some of her best past friends were Summer, but, like Summer they fade. "I could really use some company, heartfelt company. Not fake, or anything like that. I miss some things that..." That didn't seem to come out quite right, and Sasha stopped herself from what she'd nearly said.. Her cheeks became rosy for a moment. "I mean, that someone to talk to about, anything, would be wonderful."

"I wouldn't worry about style of dancing, or if you're good at it. Sometimes, just having that person there to find bearings is helpful. Slowing down may be good for me." The Onyx trailed off, she didn't want to seem like she was convincing him to Dance. It wasn't her style, but, just that the invitation was open.

Her brows knitted a moment. "I've done all types of dancing, ballet, ballroom, pop and lock, latin, and well, you name it. When I'm alone, it's contemporary or depends on the song. You could watch sometime if you like, I don't mind."

Well, of course she didn't. It's not like people need a detailed biography of other people to meet and have actual relationishis with them. His own predisposition to burrow in the business of others showed - again - and it wasn't something he was proud of.

"Oh, of course. Sorry." he was slightly abashed by how this topic's turned out. "Most people in our lives, they're just... there. We don't question the "whys" of the lady selling you groceries, and neither do we do that with the people that become... more important to us. Or, at least - we should try to limit that, lest we go legitimately crazy."

Did someone call Alexander Brown the Relationship Coach? No?
Good.

What she'd said next was more surprising, though? The 'hold was not that large, sure, but surely the Onyx Queen had made some friends here, no?
And if she didn't, he was glad to fill that position.

"Then the Wheel of Fortune is in your favor. I'm always up for a talk and not-fake company. Or I could just listen. But you sound like you have something more specific in mind." The Dancer stopped mid-sentence seconds earlier, but the Darkling decided not to pick up that thread, not yet.

"Well, you're the expert. I'd love to watch you dance sometime." Was that an invitation a bit earlier? "And if you need to slow down, I could prove to be the perfect sandbag."

"And for the record, I have no idea what pop and lock is." ​He finished with a grin.

Her shoulders softly rose and fell. "Yeah, I certainly try to stay away from all the 'whys'. I did make me go a bit crazy for a while." More past that she didn't want to bring up, if it happened, it happened though. It would eventually come out to someone.

The Dancer couldn't place it; why was she drawn to him. He wasn't someone like Louis, or even John. Alexander was different, he seemed more down to earth than some. Maybe it was that he was her polar opposite. She'd hardly known him for a few weeks and wanted to know more.

"No, nothing specific, really..." Whatever she had been previously thinking was lost in a wash over her voilets. Her eyes darted around and she couldn't recall what it was she had in mind. "I'm sure it will come back to me at some point."

"I should mention though, that I hope this isn't one-sided." Her lips quirked. "I mean that calling on you, you can call on me as well. I'd love to reciprocate anything." The words were not so fluid, not like when she was dancing.

The Fairest laughed, a little more than she should have. "I'm sorry. I sometimes use terms that are just natural for me and meaningless to others. If you've watched anyone dancing on TV to rap music or maybe grunge music, you've probably seen the dance style I'm talking about. It's just one of those things that people put a name too, like doing the robot but more fluid..." That probably wasn't helpful, but she tried.

ooc

Threads been going on a little over a month, want to start wrapping it up and perhaps start another/different scene?