Words between Cabalmates

Jul 6th, 2016 08:11 AM

July wasn't sure specifically what Avis had originally wanted to talk about, but he had told her he'd let her know as soon as he was free, so when she said to meet in the common area he got dressed and grabbed himself some coffee and sat down, waiting for Avis to arrive.

The Sanctum made it hard at times to tell what time of day it was. A good theater wasn't supposed to let in light so of course his room didn't have any windows. But from where he was sitting he could just barely see the light out the front door and knew that it was still day. Just the right time for coffee. He had to calm down on his alcoholic drinking anyway or it would dull his senses. Maybe it was his strange new view on the world, as a mess of pieces that needed to fit together, but he found himself drinking, at least a little, less than normal. So that was something.

**Avis** · Jul 6th, 2016 12:54 PM

It was a shame there wasn't more daylight in the Theatre. Sure, the advent of fluorescent lights meant they had plenty of light, but there just wasn't the same quality of illumination. Arthur could probably wax on about exactly why the was, and the intricacies of Light through a Wise eye, but Avis at least knew that it would have been a much different sight were it to be sunlight that shone through the bottle of scotch that she pulled out of a box and set on the table in front of July. A glass was set down beside it.

Upside down.

It wasn't out of respect for his coffee, or his silent struggle to keep his thirst for spirits in check. It was...well, for now she'd just say it was a gesture. Obvious, but their conversation would truly determine exactly what sort of a gesture it was.

For herself, a four pack of ginger beer was set on the table, along with a sack full of chips and other snacks, and then Avis sat back in the chair across from July.

"Good to see you, Huckleberry," she said, a slight smile appearing on her face. "It seems like we've been drifting pretty far apart lately. Not that I would ever really describe us as close, but after the Consilium, the psycho with eye studded wings, and the kidnapping, I think it's pretty clear that we're operating on different wave lengths. One of us is AM, the other is satellite, you know what I mean?"

She paused, then picked a bottle of ginger ale, set the lip of the cap against the edge of the table, and smacked it with her other hand to pop the lid off.

"Let's put Consilium on hold for a second, though. When that kid asked you if you could open the lock, why'd you try to John Wayne it? You live with a magician and a locksmith. And the psyco. You totally went cowboy there, too. We had a plan, but you decided to murder it. You didn't think about the group. You just tried to handle it by yourself. So talk with me here. What's up? That's my side of it. What's yours?"

Jul 6th, 2016 01:25 PM

He watched as Avis came in, certainly surprised to see the scotch, and less surprised to see the ginger beer. He gave her a head nod in hello as she entered and then listened as she got right into it. He didn't understand where the 'Huckleberry' nickname was coming from, and he didn't particularly like it, but her smile told him it was all in good fun so he didn't comment. He watched as she opened her ginger beer and before he could respond she was talking again. Once she was done he leaned back in his chair, turning so he could put one foot on his other leg's knee and then looked at her.

"You're right. With the murderer I acted impulsively. Way too impulsively. He saw through my disguise and I figured I'd call him out, be direct, and see how he responded. Of course that was me forgetting he was Mad to begin with. It was wrong to put you guys in that position and I'm sorry about that, but it wasn't done to deliberately ruin the plan, just a lack of forethought."

"Now, when it came to the lock, well, I know I have just as much to prove as everyone else around. I fucked up lying over the phone to that guy, thought climbing a drain pipe was a good plan and caused two drug dealers to try and shoot me, and stepped on a twig when we were trying to be stealthy at the frat house. Sure, I handled myself fine against two shotguns, but when the girl asked me to pick that lock, I guess I saw that as an opportunity to prove myself in some way other than the big dumb trigger happy guy I feel like people see me as." He took another sip of his coffee to finish it up and pushed the cup to the side.

"But that's just one part of it all. For a while there I was kind of spiraling. I spent as much time as I could drinking when we weren't working and I think it caught up with me. But lately I've gotten a handle on it. I know we all have our own talents. I just think for a little bit there I was focused on being the big damn hero, when really now I'm starting to see how little I saw the big picture." Every day more puzzle pieces fell into place and more and more made sense to July. It was almost like a second awakening.

"But what about you," he said, grabbing a ginger beer and using a bottle opener on his keys to get it open before taking a sip. "I feel like you've been kind of distant as well, distracted even. You're right, we never spent that much time together before but that doesn't mean I haven't gotten used to how you act. Hell, we all live together you know? You see things living together you'd never see in a Consilium. Those moments when people are just relaxed and let their hair down. I'm sure you've seen more than you ever expected you'd see of me on accident." He then took another sip.

**Avis** · Jul 7th, 2016 11:40 AM

"Well, that's kind of the whole purpose of a plan, isn't it?" Avis countered, brow furrowing. "To be your forethought? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you should have expected he'd single us out, but the trick is to just adapt the plan rather than abandon it. 'Cause a good plan doesn't try to account for every little flap of a butterfly's wings. It just acts, like you said, as some forethought that gives us all an idea of how to approach a situation. Hopefully in concert. And, speaking of in concert, let me lay a tactic on you."

She paused to take another drink, enjoying the wash of honeyed liquid with it's counterpoint of fizz and spice. Honestly, she'd have to be careful with drinking those. Not because they'd get her drunk, obviously, but it was still excess. Even if the pancreas was a lie, punching it into overdrive with a flood of sugar wasn't exactly enlightened behavior either. So the bottle was set to the side, and Avis turned her full attention to the man across from her.

"One of the most powerful weapons any warrior, or army, can use is misdirection. It operates on a really simple principle: get the enemy focused on something besides you and then exploit that opening. Obvious, I know, but think about it like this. Madman singles you out. What does that mean? His attention is on you. Not on Arthur, or Star, or me. That's three directions of attack he wouldn't be prepared to defend against. So if his attention was held by you, that would give us room to work.

"Or, same idea," Avis continued, "if we need to sneak up to a building, don't try and follow us. Instead, walk nearby. Draw their attention to you, or in another direction. If you can't move quiet like, they'll spot you anyways. It's just if we're not all in a group, them spotting you won't give us away. Thing is, though, you're still a part of the plan. Still operating on the same principle we are, even if we're doing different stuff. In concert. Complimenting the others, but not identical."

She shrugged then, and then picked up the bottle for another sip. Just one though. Pacing herself. Making sure she took the time to savor it. To use the sensation of the drink, or rather how it made her feel, to contrast with what she was about to say next.

"You are right, though. About me being distant. I have been. It's been hard to keep myself invested. I feel like I've opened my veins onto the city, but it doesn't matter how deeply I cut, there's never going to be enough to sate it. Or like I've been swimming against the tide, just hard enough to keep myself from being washed away, but the shoreline never comes closer. It's like the beacon I've been moving towards hasn't gone out, it just doesn't matter anymore. So. Yeah. Haven't been great."

Jul 7th, 2016 01:40 PM

Continuing to listen July added, "Well I'd certainly say I became a distraction for Jason. I'm fine being the distraction, but I'd also say I don't want to become so typecast for a specific role and job that I eventually give up even trying to do other things. Just because I need to work on my lying, doesn't mean I'm going to tell the truth all the time instead. I just need to practice more on other areas while remembering what I am good at." He took another sip. "But I know what you're saying, misdirection's good and adapt to a plan, not completely throw it out."

Shifting gears he focused on her words about her distance. Instead of directly answering, he came from another angle. "When I was a kid I wanted to be a teacher more than anything. Not the most glamorous dream, but certainly a realistic one from where I came from. As I got older though I started to see how my family was, all the crime they committed, and realized that what my town really needed were better, honest cops. So that's what I did. Went to the police academy and became a cop to fight the crime I saw around me. Every day we learn things about the world and about ourselves that can show us our original goals don't matter anymore. After awakening I never really had a home, only a job. But that changed when I came here. I never thought I could care about anyone but myself again, but now I'm here and I care about my cabal, even if I have been stupid and careless sometimes. Sometimes the tide just changes and you have to change with it, because the beacons we all set in our lives change over time and what once mattered may not matter in a year from now. I just hope you can find a new beacon that does matter to you."

He took another sip of his ginger beer as he watched her. "With all that said, is there anything I can do to help?"

**Avis** · Jul 9th, 2016 11:41 AM

Avis listened quietly as July talked, nursing a sip of ginger beer and regarding him with flat, green eyes. Perhaps someone else wouldn't have noticed. Perhaps they would have just read that expression as patience, or thoughtfulness, but to July it was clear that it was anything but. It was a mask. A facade put up to hide what lay behind it.

He got a clue of what lay behind the facade when she next began to speak, however.

"You sure you're Beacon isn't still your job?" Avis challenged, the mask disappearing as an eyebrow rose sharply above her left eye.

"I mean..." she paused, drawing a deep breath in and then let it out when she spoke again, dusting the first few words with a sigh.

"Look, I'm not saying this to attack you, but I think you're still defining yourself by your job. I feel like half the time you open your mouth something about being a cop comes out. Cop this, cop that. I mean, you do realize that cops are fucking bullshit, right? They're just thugs with a badge and a gun that enforce the rules of a bunch of tyrranical, corrupt motherfuckers that subjugate everyone else, including the cops.

She kept her eyes fixed on his, intent on reading whatever emotions he might let slip through while she spoke.

"I mean, you talk about criminals like they're Scelesti, or something, but the Truth is that most of them being victimized by some ink on some paper, because there's really only a few things that actually call for Justice. And I know it was Justice that you wanted when you first put on that badge, but you were still asleep then. You were still a slave, and you were in the business of enslaving other people. That's what I hear every time you open your mouth and talk about being fucking bacon."

Jul 11th, 2016 09:01 AM

Avis spoke and July just thought. Was she trying to get a rise out of him? She attacked the whole cop part of his past, and yet ignored the fact that he had heard all of this before. Cops were either loved or hated, there wasn't much in between, and the ones who hated them made it clear how they felt, especially while under arrest in the back seat of a patrol car. But July also knew that when it came to hiding your feelings, a good defense is a good offense.

He just looked at her, unflinching and without any reaction and said, "Being a cop defined my life before awakening, and much of it afterwards, just as many people had things to define their own lives. It'll always be a part of my past and what made me who I am today, but I know I'm a different person now than I was when I first got here. Change over time and through all that's happened, and today the job is less important that protecting the ones I care about."

He took a breathe and focused on Avis. "And you can say this all here," he said, gesturing between them as if implying their conversation, "is not to attack, but we're cabalmates, so let's be honest with each other, you attack when you don't want things focused at you. And I get that. I did the same thing at times with Emrys. I got angry and lashed out because I felt like he was seeing a part of me I didn't want anyone to talk about, claiming it was all argument over ideas. But like I said, I'm not the same as when I first got here. If you want to know how I really feel about something, you just ask me, and I'll be upfront with you. That's what friends do. I'm not gonna sit here and try and trash talk your past or your life until you flinch, because we're friends, and that's not what I do to friends." he took another sip of his ginger beer. It was his way of saying he saw what she was doing, even if she wouldn't end up admitting it.

"If you want to have a conversation about sleeper politics and ideas with law enforcement, then okay we can, but I'm not going to be distracted by your harsh words and ignore that I think there's some serious pain going on underneath it all, and I'm here if you want to talk about it. No judgment." He took another sip as he watched her.

**Avis** · Jul 12th, 2016 10:22 PM

"You know what, Huckleberry?" Avis returned, leaning back further into her chair. "If you want to talk about me, sure, I'll talk. But right now you're just distracting from you. But conversation is a back and forth, right? So sure, we can talk about me now. I've got a story to share with you. It starts like this: I spent over ten years locked inside a box. Why? Because some motherfucker with the title of 'your honor' decided that was how it should be.

"I disagreed, obviously. Devoted myself to finding ways to escape. Ya know, whenever I wasn't drowning in the haze of the drug cocktail they kept shoving down my throat. But every time I got out, except for the last time, it was men with clubs and guns on their belts that would take me back. People like you used to be. Like I think you're still pretending to be. Because the thing is, I do think you're a good person, July, I do want you in my Cabal, but I think you're being consumed by a Lie you've been telling yourself for most of your life.

"I mean, come on, do you honestly believe that everything you've done in the name of a little piece of metal has been Just? Or did you just feel justified because you had that little piece of metal on your chest?"

The ginger beer had been set aside, needless to say.

"Would it help you admit it if we both confessed all the fucked up shit we've done?"

Jul 13th, 2016 09:59 AM

Now he had to raise an eyebrow. "I don't know why you keep calling me Huckleberry."

It was just a strange nickname for her to keep using. Then he listened to her reveal her problem with authority. "I obviously don't know why you were held prisoner, but your mention of cocktails makes me think it wasn't a traditional prison. I can't speak on what happened to you. But since you bring up people 'like me' bringing you back, my main job was finding people who escaped prison or skipped out on an arrest warrant, that's it. Before I awoke, I saw my job as just taking prisoners back to the courts so they could be judged." He paused for a moment and took sip of his drink.

"And at the time I told myself it all made sense, maybe didn't even question some of the things I saw, but I'm awake now, and I see how flawed and in the dark the sleeper courts are. But I don't know where you get the idea that I'm consumed by the Lie still. I mean, if remembering your past is 'being consumed by the Lie' then you're right there with me. And I never said everything I did in my past was Just. But you want to hear some of my pain? A serial killer escaped from jail after I'd put him there. I came home and my wife's head was in a box on the porch. I hunted that bastard down and put him in the ground." Slight cracks in July's composure showed through. There was real pain underneath.

"We've all had fucked up stuff happen to us."

**Avis** · Jul 14th, 2016 11:16 PM

"'I'm your Huckleberry?'" Avis quoted, twisting the end up into a question. "It's from Tombstone (link). Probably the second best Western of all time. Right behind Unforgiven. But I remember Tombstone better, cause in that same scene Doc Holiday has another line: 'you're no Daisy...you're no Daisy at all'. That's why I never forgot that scene. 'Cause Daisy was my name when I was in the mental institution."

She trailed off, discomfited by her own memories, and in a moment of weakness she picked up the spiced, sugary drink and used it as a stop-gap comfort. The slight burn as the ginger raced down her throat helped distract her, at least.

"Your hat and your guns reminded me of it," she said, then, setting the bottle down. "I think it fits you pretty well. I mean, you weren't just a cop if you murdered a murderer. You were a vigilante then, too. I actually respect that more. I mean, I respect you, July, I do, I just think that you're more than a Cop. You're better than a Cop, but you always seem to mention it. Just like I always lash out at people when I'm uncomfortable."

Words between Cabalmates

Members who have read this thread : 24

Similar Threads

In Other Words...

Use Big Words

Those words, I don't think they mean...

No words :D

The Right Words