A Bit of Fresh Air

Jun 8th, 2015 06:11 PM

The withering heat of the day had finally broken, giving way to a reasonably warm late afternoon complemented by the occasional breeze. Seated on a generously shaded park bench, Ava tapped a ballpoint pen against the small open notebook on her lap, a handful of phrases scribbled down and crossed out, lines drawn between them and certain words circled or underlined. In the interest of not spending all of her time moping, she was out and around, having spent a decent portion of the day holed up in an air conditioned cafe until she started to feel guilty about monopolizing her table. She'd done a little reading, a little eavesdropping, and considered cajoling strangers into talking to her, but finally decided it was just time for her to move along. So the park it was, people watching and trying to slowly ease herself back into writing; a person should probably have a hobby or two that wasn't directly connected to being a member of the Lost.

But the words weren't really coming, the sound of the nearby streetfair wasn't helping, and she could feel the sweat sticking her shirt to the back of the bench. Standing with a resigned sound, she thrust the notebook into her back pocket and picked a direction. It felt a little odd to be strolling the park solo, but who cared- parks weren't just for couples and people with small children, though there did seem to be an inordinate number of children roaming the grass. She gave them a wide berth, not in the mood to be stampeded or have a ball kicked at her.

It was actually pretty nice out, she had to admit, especially as a gentle breeze came up and cooled her damp back. Maybe walks could become a new habit, at least for a little while. But look, ice cream! A woman of serious needs, Ava steeled herself and made her way past a group of laughing people to get in line at a cart set up on the side walk outside the park. She just needed to make sure she had enough loose change about her, as she started rooting through her pockets.

**Daniel Leto** · Jun 9th, 2015 05:06 AM

Daniel had discovered a couple things moving the sunny Sacramento. More than a few, to be honest. Things about ghosts... the Hedge... himself. It had been avery educational experince. And that included the fact that he didn't tan. At all. His Mask tanned. Daniel had been encouraged by that when he had checked. But after spending a day as a bronzed blonde, the Gravewight had still ended up looking like he was carved from pink marble in the end. That didn't stop him from retesting on occasion.

So it was that Daniel was walking in the park with an inordinate amount of sunblock applied and looking even paler than usual, despite the hardened Mask. He had just finished selling some kids some IDs that didn't remotely resemble who they were. Not the highlight of his day but as usual, Daniel always needed the money.

Flush with cash, he spotted the ice cream cart and decided to splurge. And was more than a little surprised when he found himself behind the Autumn Scrivener.

"Hey, Ava," he said with a quiet smile as he fell into line behind her.

Harden Mask -1 glamour

Jun 9th, 2015 10:24 PM

Wresting the coins from her pocket, Ava turned at the familiar voice with her hand full of loose bits. She was surprised, mostly that he was there at all, but also to see him with his Mask up. It was the careful thing to do, and very Winter, but even after a few years it still felt a little strange to see someone with their true face hidden away. Regardless, she returned his smile with sincerity. "Hey Daniel, seems we have similar cravings." Not entirely the case, probably. Hopefully?

Before she could say more it was her turn to step up to the counter, sorting out enough quarters for what she wanted and tucking the rest away. Ice cream sandwich in hand, she stepped off to the side and began to unwrap it, waiting to ~~continue~~ begin their conversation until he was finished. "How've you been? Enjoying the weather?" The second question came with a crooked pull to her mouth.

**Daniel Leto** · Jun 9th, 2015 11:41 PM

"Must be fate," he replied back as Ava stepped forward to buy her frozen treat. While said jokingly it could be rather scary how coincidences often conspired around the Lost.

When it came his turn, Daniel pulled out a couple bills to make his own payment. They didn't have anything in coffee flavor, so he ended up getting a chocolate popsicle. The wrapper made the distinctive crinkly sound that all sweets had. The oiliness of his hands made it so he eventually had to resort to using his teeth.

"It certainly is... bright," he commented. Not really an answer, strictly speaking. He glanced over at her and saw the half smile and that made him chuckle a little "So pretty awful," he said with a smile still in his voice "I could be long sleeves, hat, and mask and I'd still get sunburned," he answered honestly.

He spent a couple moments savoring the ice cream. Not the best he'd ever had, a little too sweet and flavorless. He fell silent as he began to walk, making way to some shade trees. The willow grove came to mind.

"Actually..." he considered not going any further but decided against it. He respected Ava and considering past conversation she didn't shy away from tough subjects simply because they were uncomfortable "been thinking a lot lately. Evaluating where I am and what I'm doing with my life. Some metaphysical ghosts... well and some real ones as well too but that's something else... anyway, they keep popping up and I think I'm going to have to deal with them at some point."

He came to a stop next to the tree ans easily fell into a cross-legged seat against the trunk. He smiled up at Ava, clearly inviting her to sit as well. The expression was as calm and sad as it normally was.

"How about you? What's going on in your life right now?"

Jun 10th, 2015 03:23 AM

She flashed him a grin at the remarks about sunburn and fell comfortably into silence as they both began to eat. Her bites were small and careful, an active effort not to chill any of her teeth. It wasn't amazing, but it scratched a certain nostalgic itch for childhood treats and comfort; what she really needed to find were those odd little cups of sherbet that came with wooden paddle-spoons. Falling into step beside him, the Nix was content to let Daniel set their course- and it struck her as a comfort of its own that such a thing was so easy.

Her ears pricked as he began to speak, glad that he followed through after a moment of thought or uncertainty, she couldn't be sure which. What he mentioned was easy to identify with, and as she settled down beside him with the tree to her back, his expression was what struck her the most. That was what really made this feel easy, wasn't it, the lack of necessity for pretext. It felt somehow unkind, or unfeeling to say she appreciated his sadness, but it made it feel less important to put on any sort of cheerful social facade.

Legs stretched out in front of her, Ava shook her head with a hint of tiredness that had little to do with fatigue. "I'm right there with you, except my ghosts are thoughts and ideas I've been trying to ignore that just keep coming back. I was sort of hoping that would be a form of 'dealing' but, y'know, no dice so far." She took a small nibble of the softening ice cream before adding with faux-nonchalance: "And Mal's left town, so getting used to that. She went for a good reason, but still. Anyway."

Despite the distant tone of her words, her voice was still rich and round, light trailing the breeze as she pressed on. "I don't mean to whine, that's sort of what got me into this," she made a slight gesture toward her face, "Just not quite sure what to do with myself right now." Hence the park wandering.

"Have you come to any conclusions? From your evaluations."

**Parable** · Jun 10th, 2015 06:26 PM

"I'm sorry about Mal," It was the first thing Daniel said after Ava finished. He didn't know but he had suspicions after seeing them at freehold events. The way she'd tried to gloss over the loss raised a couple flags too. Daniel knew a thing or two about losing people.

The silence stretched a little like a cat but Daniel didn't push. As depressing as the conversation had taken a turn for; this felt nice and he didn't want to spoil that. The quiet was accompanied by children's laughter from the park beyond and a soft breeze. Combined with the shade and frozen dairy, it made the heat almost bearable. Not exactly a setting where he could for more details on what thoughts it was Ava was fighting. He wondered he they were similar at all to his. It wasn't like he could fully explain either, even if this place had been safe to talk shop in. With the beautifully mundane park view in front of them, how could he even truly get across the sweet tragedy of his experience during his durance and how it still affected him. The vagueness helped in that way. It made it so they could speak but let them keep the impossible to describe secrets.

"No conclusions yet. Nothing concrete anyway. Normal party advice: ignore it... Hasn't been working for me either. Probably shouldn't be whining either. Against party lines." Daniel sighed. He knew how very un-Wintery he could be sometimes. The court's advice had still served him well most of the time. Just less and less so in recent months. "I don't know. I'm just feeling overwhelmed. I am just constantly wanting..." he sighed again to the sounds of children playing. How did he even begin to describe it in a way that made sense?

"I think I might have to stop running," he finally said, coming to the conclusion right there.

Jun 11th, 2015 02:06 AM

"Thanks." She appreciated the sentiment, but let the topic slip away readily. Maybe in a few months, or a year, or however long it would take her to settle into a new routine, maybe then she'd want to talk about Mal. A little perspective, a little distance, some amount of normalcy. Or maybe she'd be back by then and talking about it would be irrelevant. A person could dream.

She finished up the ice cream as neatly as she could, the last softened bit squishing between the chocolate cookies and trying to escape into her hand instead of her mouth. The silliness of it was a small relief, gone as soon as she had finished and disposed of the sweet evidence. Wrapper held loosely in one hand, she nodded along silently as Daniel spoke. Wanting... very close to home.

"With the knowledge that this isn't entirely informed advice, I'd say that's a good idea. I think a lot of things come to a head one way or another, and if you can get out in front of it, why not. Change tactics on your own terms. Suppose it depends on what you're looking for, though." Closure, forgiveness, absolution, redemption, a fresh start...

"But, I envy you that decision."

Ava wanted options, solid options, before she stopped avoiding things: she certainly wasn't prepared to just lean into the thoughts and see where they took her. That was irresponsible at best, and she couldn't shrug off the fact that, in her case, such a thing wouldn't just effect her. It involved other people, it would bring attention, and it was nothing but trouble.

And still, she wanted it.

**Daniel Leto** · Jun 12th, 2015 11:45 AM

"Yeah," he said, agreeing with her. Somehow he didn't sound exactly happy. Daniel finished off the last of the sweetened, frozen, bland, chocolate-flavored dairy product. Surprisingly that somehow did make things feel a little better.

"Not able to work for you though?" he commented. He could tell from how and what she said what the answer would be already "Considered any other ways than ignoring it or facing it? No third options? Maybe there's something scary out there that can help. Have you talked with any of the club members of your click about this?" Daniel felt a little bad about not being able to offer more advise. However, from what she had said Ava had only been ignoring her problem so far. It was a very Winter thing to do. The Nix was Autumn though and maybe if she talked with some of her fellow courtiers they would be able to offer some fey knowledge that could help.

Jun 12th, 2015 05:53 PM

She spent a few moments mulling over her options within the Autumn Court, but none of them were really sending her. Morgan was out because she prized the Steepscrambler's trust too much, and after working so hard to make herself seem like a safe person to be around it would be very difficult to admit that she wasn't. And if she finally got untangled and managed to find a way to be where she didn't feel dangerous, she'd have burned a bridge she rather liked. Nathan, Milo and Rick were out just because she didn't know them especially well and that was a rough way to start a dialogue. And while Terri was friendly and welcoming, she dreaded the thought of seeing pity or disgust on her face, or how easily she could push her from the Court if she wanted to. Which left Ms. Jasons. How does someone tell the person they respect most in the Freehold, who gave them their first real chance, that they occasionally consider eating people?

Recalling the recent moment with the child's blood, which was much more than just thinking about something, Ava rubbed her hands together as if to wipe something from them. "Honestly speaking, I have a lot of trouble trusting people. Not really because of anything they've done, just- how the world has been, I guess. I think some people have noticed and been sort of baffled or hurt by it, but I don't really know how to have these conversations. I try, I chicken out, and people just end up confused." The sheer amount of anxiety and fear she felt about discussing what was going on had smothered those conversations prematurely, despite the desire to reach out.

"I just don't know anyone else that seems like they're afraid of themselves." She bit the inside of her cheek and took a deep breath as the desire to pull in like an anemone that's been touched grew. Talking without looking directly at the other person was certainly easier, but still hard to keep up.

**Daniel Leto** · Jun 12th, 2015 10:50 PM

"I can think of a few," Daniel said softly. His thoughts went to Terri, who was so terrified of feeling sad she actually got angry. Then there was Morgan, who, aside from her many other fears, was scared of that fact she was actually very competent. And despite all the praise Daniel tried to give her, still refused to even recognize how brave she truly was because then she would have to face her fears even more often. Which she did anyway but that wasn't how she saw it.

Yet Ava obviously didn't see that in her fellow courtiers. That left the Darkling as probably one of the few people that she had opened up this far too. He sighed and it the sound was like a mourning cant weighed down by tombstones.

"I was responsible for helping people pass on," he said softly. The children's playing seemed a world away "Back There, I mean. I would help them come to terms and then I would kill them. People I knew, cared about, knew for what was probably years sometimes. Hundereds, maybe thousands. I don't know." Even though he had promised never to forget. The gravewight's voice remained calm and steady as he spoke. He knew he was being a little misleading. This aspect of himself was not something that frightened him; it simply weighed. "By the end I wasn't even really sorry. I was sad to see them go, but also satisfied, even proud. Happy to grant their wish."

There was a long pause as Daniel considered what to say next, let Ava process what he had just said, and maybe let her respond.

A Bit of Fresh Air

Members who have read this thread : 12

Similar Threads

Open Fresh Faces

Getting Some Fresh Air

Fresh off the Bus

Fresh Air

Fresh out of the box car