Pepper's words bit into Striker's resolve as a ravenous dog tearing into a juicy steak. He looked away as she accused him of cornering Avis. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair concentrating on a spot on the floor but taking in every word.
"Ok. Ok." He said quietly after a long silence. "Yeah. No. You're right ay." He looked back to her at last. "Look. I'm sorry. I wasn't tryin' to shift the blame, I just thought... Stuff it, don't worry. It was stupid. I was just hoping I could say sorry and sort stuff out with her and when she went ballistic on me I just felt like I was cheated of the chance or something. I dunno why you've gotta be upset about that." he said before looking down again.
He took a deep breath before straightening in his chair and lifting his gaze once more to look Pepper in the eyes.
"Ok straight up. Here it is. Best as I can recall. We'd just done our patrol and we'd got back to the circle and were talkin' about stuff. Lots of different stuff. How we'd been abused when we were kids, how we learned to fight and why we joined the Arrow. Avis was talkin' about fightin' evil an' I said evil's not clear cut and then she said... I dunno what she said, she started getting really confusing but I thought she was sayin' I was evil for trusting my instincts." He paused, trying to recall what she'd actually said. "I dunno what she was tryin' to say, but I'm pretty sure that's what she thinks now anyway. Or maybe it was something about violence." A short pause. "She said after she hated violence, yeah that was it." His brow furrowed as he began remembered the details of the incident and connecting the dots. His gaze drifted from Pepper as he got caught up in his own internal cognition. "So she doesn't like instincts 'cause they lead to violence. Then I get so pissed off at her that I start swingin'. Jeez no wonder she hates me." Striker said shaking his head in realisation.
He looked back to Pepper again and continued.
"So what really set me off was when she said animals were just meat puppets." He flinched as he said the words. "My dog was my best friend when I was a kid and I've spent half my life workin' with animals right. They're not just meat puppets." he said with a tone that indicated he had more to say on the topic if he had the inclination. His voice caught as he repeated the infernal words 'meat puppets' and his eyes flicked over to where Avis still stood talking with a flicker of malice before he blinked it away and took a few steadying breaths.
"So that's when I tried to hit her." He continued. "She dodged it and told me to back off. But then she smashed this bottle she'd been holding the whole time as well, and guess I thought she was threatening me with it, but maybe she was just trying to defend herself. Maybe I dunno, because she cut me with it just after I kicked her. And then I..." He scratched his head and looked away. He knew exactly what he'd done and felt sick to his stomach recalling it again. "I'm tellin' ya everything right. Everythin' I can think of." He confirmed with Pepper. "I cast a rote to make myself stronger so I could hit her harder." He said quickly as though getting through the stupidity faster would make it sound less stupid. "Then I hit her harder. She told me to stop again, but I was just runnin' on my anger then, probably frustration as well since I could barely hit her anyway. But whatever, like they said last time it's the intent not the outcome. All I wanted was to knock her smug ass on the floor. But that's when my body started twitchin' and stuff. I don't know what Avis was doin' but it must've been some spell to rip me apart or something 'cause my insides started really hurtin'. I kicked her again and then tried to grab her, but before I could I blacked out from the pain." He waited a few moment to see if anything else came to mind than shrugged. That seemed to be the way fight went as he remembered. "When I woke up... Well Asp woke me up with all the sentinels there, and that was that." He reflected on what he'd just said. "I guess if Avis had really wanted me dead then she could've done it, so I dunno why she didn't."
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