|
|
|
|
|
|
|
'Oh really now?' Chris grins as Emma says she overheard the Prince. He wonders what she's up to, if she's up to something.
'Maybe I will, soon.' He should discuss it with the Circle. Who knows what the others can do.
He leans forward a bit, narrowing his eyes in an investigative but also cute manner, 'Now tell me, Deputy, how interested in the Circle are you exactly? We're quite a group again... I could introduce you, tell you more.' Come on, he just has to ask.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Emma matches Chris's grin with one of her own. If she could blush she would. "I don't remember the exact details, but I believe I was with Swift when this was said." Emma hesitated, "Or maybe Swift told me about this conversation." OMG, Emma thought, what in hell is wrong with my memory today? "Sorry, the memory is fuzzy but the sentiment is true. I'm not sure that he fully understands what you folks do exactly but I believe he is open minded."
When Chris leaned forward she had a brief moment when she wanted to lick his cute nose. Holding in the temptation she simply folded her hands in her lap to keep control over beast and her natural flirtation. "I have been looking into the Circle on a purely academic level. To be honest, I have never been a joiner and tend to be very quiet." Except when her wild side takes over, she finishes in her head. "I would love to come and observe a meeting or ceremony or something first hand. Then I can see where I am on joining. I am cautious. Especially when there are silly rules about only joining one group."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Chris frowns, perhaps a bit surprised. 'Well, no matter how you got the information, it's about the message. Thanks for mentioning it to me.' He smiles, knowing that the Prince could be open minded.
Jayant Nagaraj was loyal to the Crone, although maybe not officially an Acolyte when I was around. And he's the only man I knew who has had the position of Primogen.
People who can foresee the future, even if only to some extent, give excellent advise.
'Of course, that is possible. We've had such meetings in the past, where outsiders can join. And we will have them again, I shall keep you updated. Those rules are peculiar at some times. But you can join one group, and have friends for influence at the other,' he casually shrugs, as if it's equally easy said as done. 'Personally I've always felt that faith lies closer to my heart than politics, especially since the latter tends to change from time to time. And you can look at the Circle form an academic perspective, I'm also an academic. The two things can go together you know.'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"It would be wonderful to see a ceremony up close and personal." Emma thought about ruffling his hair. It looked so soft. She got a crooked little mischievous grin at the thought.
Switching gears she said, "I still don't understand why I can't belong to a religious group and a political one. As a regular person I can belong to a church and a political group if I so choose, why not as a kindred? After all I think as kindred we have so much time on our hands that we should be better able to handle it. And, the crap that if we join a group then it is looked down on if we decide to switch groups. Ridiculous. By setting up such arbitrary standards we as a race have made sure that we remain separate. We have set up a complicated system of us versus them. There is a whole bunch of social theory around this. As if being different clans isn't bad enough." Emma's eyes shone with passion as she started to go off about one of her favorite subjects- social psychology.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
'You have much time in your hands? In the long term we might have, but I still feel like every night is far too short for what I want to do!' It is not the topic of conversation, but Chris cannot help but to speak his mind. Maybe he's just young.
What Emma says about being separate makes him think. 'On one hand we are indeed divided into groups, but at the same time, most of us are quite involved with their covenants. We are lonely creatures, but the shared philosophies and traditions bind us together. The Circle is not only about religion, and the Invictus isn't all about politics. They're both a way of life. And if you leave... That alone shouldn't be a problem, but every group has secrets that should stay within he group,' he gives the Gangrel doctor a friendly wink. As the Hierophant he understands the side of the covenants, obviously.
'The same counts for Clans. If everyone was the same - it would be just that. Now you have a special bond with 1/5th of all Kindred. And they're not opposed to each other such as the covenants are.'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
"I guess it all comes down to social identity theory. In general individuals concept of self is derived from the groups they believe they belong to and the status it gives them. This is probably the cause for so many flocking to the Invictus. They feel there status has increased just by belonging to the in-group more than their belief in the concepts of the group." Emma took a sip of tea as she was comparing the theory to the real life situation of the groups. "For myself, I believe in multiple selves theory. Individuals have different selves with different behaviors and attitudes depending on the group they are identifying with at the time. For example, I identify with being a mother sometimes and a more nurturing side of me comes out. At other times I identify with being the hunter and I show no mercy for my prey. Yet I am both of these divergent beings all in one. This is why I find it hard to understand limiting oneself to just a single external arbitrary group." It wasn't Emma's purpose to sound like she was giving a college lecture, but it really did help sum up why she feels the way she does. "Sorry, I am probably boring you with theories and stuff. As I explained before, I tend to look at things in an academic manner." Emma offered a feeble smile with a slight shrug of her shoulders. Seriously, she can't remember conversations with people but she has all these theories in her head. It is such a pain in the ass sometimes to be who she is.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
'It's only interesting to see things from an academic perspective, let me see.' Chris pauses again, while resting his chin in his right hand - a classic pose. 'Doesn't everyone have multiple sides to his or her personality? Even those who seem to live up to their stereotypes usually have something unique, some diversity.'
He shrugs, and continues without necessarily expecting an answer to his previous question. 'I think most Covenants have room for all individuals. Of course, the Mother is an important figure of symbolism for the Circle. But other covenants have comparable roles for more caring or nurturing characters. I can be a devout follower of religion, and maybe a leader with progressive ideas, but I leave my political talk for friendly conversations. While at the same time I'd like to keep my cinephile or even nerdy self at home. Yet all three selves believe that Creation is Power, or that Tribulation Brings Enlightenment - to keep discussing the Circle at its simplest and basic form. Maybe you should try to find the diversity within Covenants? Most Covenants have room for all your "selves". You don't have to limit yourself to a group, you can enrich the group - and you find ways for the group to enrich you.' Now he looks to Emma, with a questioning but still friendly expression. She is not a flat character, nor are the Covenants about one single thing.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Emma watches Chris's body language as he speaks, very telling, she thinks to herself. "I realize every group has multiple positions to accommodate and fulfill various needs... As a matter of fact most groups are very much the same in that aspect. Maybe the belief systems are slightly different, or the topics discussed but they are all the same at their most basic level. And you are correct about a group enriching the individual ad the individual enriching the group. Just by feeling like you belong somewhere helps to enrich the individual. That is very important for kine as well ask kindred. In some ways maybe more for kindred. We all feel the sense of loss when we lose our past lives. Even when we feel we now belong to a new group of kindred, we still feel like out casts. We never fully build the trust we had in the past because now we better understand the horrors of reality. Many even develop god complexes which further alienate themselves from the others. But really, it is the loss of the trust which is worse for most. Some how an important contract has been broken when we become who we now are. Trying to hold onto our humanity we seek some normalcy which is when we join covenants which are frequently set up by arbitrary rules and take on a semblance of family. Who ever is in the parental position of the covenant makes the rules for the rest of the group." Emma stopped talking abruptly. "Sorry, I tend to go off on tangents. What do you feel is the most important ideal of the Circle? What would you want others to understand about what you do? A mission statement perhaps?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
When Emma speaks, Chris realizes something. First she said that covenants are arbitrary, that they could limit her. Now she says he's 'correct' as if she always believed that covenants enrich people. But if she believes that, why does she have so much trouble with joining a Covenant? Either he doesn't fully understand her, or she changes perspectives as they speak. He recognizes that manner of conversing from someone... Was it Swift? Yes Swift, what a coincidence. Or not?
'No problem, but I wonder... If I may I ask, have you always been unaligned, and have you never wanted to be part of a group? I was almost embraced in the Circle, but I imagine that if that wouldn't have happened, if would have searched for the right covenant right away.' He smiles kindly, curious. It's funny that she said she often feels like a mother, and then she says that the nurturing roles lead covenants. Now he doesn't entirely agree. A dragon teacher is not the same as a father, and he can see enough scenarios where a Prefect lacks parental characteristics. But, does she want to be he leader?
'Well, I should start with saying that I'm not raised with any pagan traditions. I have no roots to any typical Circle of the Crone factions. So I think that the basic ideals might be what I value most.' He pauses, although he doesn't need to think long about his answer. 'For me, being an acolyte has given me peace. Peace with who I am and peace with all that I may face in the future. Truly, it had made me an optimist, without blindly trusting on Godly powers to save me from harm,' he chuckles, because that is certainly not something that frequently occurs. 'It is good to know that we're not damned by a God, or otherwise embraced by an evil spirit after which we only wish to change ourselves to perfection. That we live in darkness is simply something that we must accept, a constant reminder that we have made a sacrifice to receive eternal life. I learn from every challenge, and thus every setback eventually makes me a more enlightened being. In the progress you make, you learn to trust the Crone, you learn to sacrifice more to get access to her powers of the blood. That power leads to the thing many vampires miss - beside the light - the power to create. And it is not for nothing that many religious people call their God, or one of their gods, the Creator, for in creation lies power.'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Emma nods her head at what Chris is saying. "Yes, I do see what you are saying. Many people do feel peace when they have something to believe in. Especially when it is something they can share with others. In that way all covenants are arbitrary and they enrich people. It is really the same for any group. And I have always been unaligned. Part of my issue is if I must choose one group to belong to which one would it be? There are things about each group I find valuable but I don't agree with everything in any one group. Some covenants I find the leadership or the parental figure to be too authoritarian. Others may have too ridged of a rule set. Wit the Circle, I really like some of the Pagen ideas but I haven't researched enough to determine if it is the right fit for me. I seem to have problems with rules in general." Emma chuckles. "Ceremonies, pomp and circumstance, etc. all tend to seem unnecessary to me. Kinda like titles in the invictus. I can understand why titles are needed as well as why ceremonies are needed but I don't always agree with them. I know this probably sounds silly or doesn't seem to make sense to someone who believes deeply in the Circle. I guess I'm just not sure it will be something I can commit deeply to. I guess I usually end up seeing myself as spiritual but not religious. I am dedicated to my domain and community but not really political." Emma thinks for a moment. "So to answer your question, I think a lot about joining a group but haven't felt a strong enough reason or call to join any. And as far as creating. I have done so twice before. The heartache of seeing that which you create destroyed is almost enough to never want to create again."
Draft this Post
