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**Aileen McFarlane** · Feb 16th, 2014 02:17 PM

Even though she was no student of the Coil of Hunger, Aïleen had as much first-hand experience with the pangs of Hunger as any other vampire. Did it mean she was qualified to give proper feedback on David's impressive book ? The unobtrusive Mekhet didn't have the pretention to think so, but neither did she want to disappoint her fellow Dragon. She had read it with as much of an academic eye as she could find in her spare time, and she hoped it would be enough.

Now she stood there in the Chapterhouse Library with a copy of the text, and her laptop open with various notes she had taken, rehearsing them before David came. They had agreed to a rendez-vous at the witching hour, and it was getting close.

Feb 16th, 2014 02:52 PM

David was checking his phone as he took the stairs by twos up to the Chapter House's Private Library. The screen listed no missed messages from Cedar Fields and it returned to the pocket of his blazer as he reached the top. On the way, David wondered how Aileen received the work. Her initial reaction was encouraging, but now a week later, he wondered if his work held up. It was a question that lingered as the Shadow rounded the corner into the Library itself.

The teasing of his Companion went ignored.

The Mortician paused just inside the Library, looking towards Aileen as he pulled off his satchel. Her posture of concentration was striking. David's right hand reached behind him and knocked on the entry's door jam to herald his arrival. “Aileen?” He said with a lilt that bordered on the unasked question of if it was alright if he came closer. “Thanks for taking the time,” David murmured through a wisp of a smile as approached, a note of apology present in his tone.

**Aileen McFarlane** · Feb 17th, 2014 04:06 PM

Reading for the third time a sample of the text that was of interest to her, the knock on the door broke Aïleen's concentration, and she rose her head quickly.

"Ha, David." she replied as she stood to greet him. "Come in, come in, please." she said, inviting him with a smile and a flick of the hand to take the seat she had prepared a foot or two from hers.

"I should be the one thanking you. Your work is of great interest." She said to the often overlooked Supplicant. So much so in fact that she hoped some day to learn a bit more about this path of the Coils. But for now, she still had those Dreams to master...

Feb 17th, 2014 04:42 PM

“I'm glad you think so,” David says as he settles his satchel first, taking out a well-used notebook and a pen. Aileen's response, the answer in part to the question he had coming up the stairs, relieved the Mortician. “I was worried that some of the conclusions and theories I'm presenting would be...” he trails off looking for the right way to put it, “too out there?”

Quickly, David ruffles his hair, sits down at the offered seat, and crossed his legs out of habit. The notebook he opened was full of scribblings, notes, with some post-it flags in bright colors pointing to certain places. Finally, a clean sheet was found and David glanced up towards Aileen with keen-interest.

Aileen and Martha were the first ones to read his work and of any in the Academy, their opinions most highly valued.

“So,” the taciturn David asked, “what were your impressions?”

**Aileen McFarlane** · Feb 18th, 2014 05:08 PM

Obviously, David had poured a lot of time, energy and thouhgts in his book, and it was a testament to the Mortician's hardworking. Sometimes, Aïleen doubted she would ever be able to achieve such a piece. His eagerness was on par with his efforts, and it made sense to Aïleen. She seemed to have already soothed his mind with her introductionary remark, which was all the better.

As she had done during her studies, she put a copy of the book open on the table between them, and took a pen to highlight the points of interest to her. "If that's alright with you, I'll simply start from the Introduction, and we'll work our way down the text ?" she offered.

If she got the assentiment from David, the female Mekhet started "From the get go, I think you're spot on on some difficulties one might find should he study the Blood. How it's taken for granted, how it's overlooked and half-tabboo..." she said with an approving look.

"And that's why you should refrain from using such imprecise words as well. You've not gone far enough in defining your words, in my opinion." she said, her tone very soft lest she would hurt his sensibility. Sometimes, Beasts could be quicker to rise than expected, too.

"Please see here. "deliberate obfuscation and the Fog of Eternity hide the truth of what The Blood is". " she let him read it, hoping her point would be obvious.

"If by deliberate obfuscation, you mean paraphrase, yes. Though as you've written before, it's only half-deliberate. If you mean something else, I don't know what it is. And the Fog ? I can't see what it's doing here, I must say..." she said, shrugging as if asking for his forgiveness for her shortcomings.

Feb 18th, 2014 05:48 PM

If David was a more prideful man, he might have been more defensive about his work. However, the Shadow was keenly aware that he didn't have the way with words others might. Slouching in his chair, David sets his left elbow into his knee and rested his chin into the heel of his left hand. David's right hand made quick notes in his notebook as Aileen spoke.

English, this time. In a neat, enviable script that noted page, paragraph, and line. Nodding slightly, David answered with a single, “I see.” He didn't want to interrupt Aileen as she made her way through her observations.

Once Aileen finished the first part, David attempted to explain, “I wanted to talk more about how the topic of feeding has become taboo in quote, 'polite company.' Society has long taken to deliberately using double-speak and code words to, what I think,” qualifying the statement, “hide mentally, from the raw truth of Feeding. Even nurturing this in fledglings before even before their first year has finished.”

A beat, “I think you have a point that this gets confused. Since I also note how this tends to happen naturally from over-familiarity, time, exceeding Dunbar's Number, and the Fog. Do you have any suggestions to make it more precise?”

**Aileen McFarlane** · Feb 19th, 2014 05:28 PM

Of course, once you've spotted a weak point in the text, came the trickier part of amending it. It was no easy task, and Aïleen was no writer either, but she couldn't be satisfied with mere criticism when a fellow Dragon asked.

"Well..." she hesitated, stumbled with her words, and started anew "Perhaps you could simply state it. "There are obstacles to getting to know the truth. Some are rather obvious, like the fact that it's often tabboo to speak about it with organic, objective words. Some are more insidious, like the fact that the Fog of Ages confuses memories, changes mentalities, and severs from the mortal memories that are required to shed proper light on the Change that had happened during the Embrace.""

She paused to think about her words, trying various formulations in her mind. It wasn't so bad, or so she hoped. "How does that sound ? Does it carry your point accurately ?"

Feb 19th, 2014 06:06 PM

Editing was always the most difficult part of the whole process. It always felt that if one strand was updated other weak points, like weeds in a sidewalk, would appear. The Mortician begrudgingly knew it was necessary; the end result would be better for it.

“I think that might work,” David answered Aileen as he recorded a short-hand version of her suggestion into his notebook. In mind, he mentally reviewed the cadence, the flow. David's ear was trained upon Aileen's voice, though he was looking to his notebook. A moment later, the span of time it took to take a breath neither of them needed, David nodded with a twinge of approval.

Looking back up, David waited for Aileen's impressions on the next section.

**Aileen McFarlane** · Feb 22nd, 2014 04:38 PM

Seeing how her Cousin was taking notes, it soon became obvious to Aïleen that he wasn't about to comment much more at that point. she then moved on to the next part, hoping he would interpret her comments as interest, and not negative criticism.

"Next is 'Our Relationship with Vitae'. I find it extremely interesting, because it will color the rest of your study. For some it is a Mean, and for some, and End... Did you find that those harnessing the Coil of Hunger have a significantly different relationship with it ? Since your book will be aimed at Dragons, it might be an interesting information." she asked, genuinely interested.

Feb 22nd, 2014 07:08 PM

“In a way,” David says tentatively, “that's why I'm glad you took the time to read the work. It is aimed at those Dragons who are considering taking up their own study of Hunger -- a starting point, if you will. So, your perspective is invaluable.” David's pen finds itself laying on his writings as he speaks. Looking up, David considers what he wants to say; obviously taking the time to find the right turn of phrase.

A look of consideration crossed the Shadow's face, “As the opening chapters and as part of the systematic review, the aim was to present the two major stances towards Vitae that emerged in the study and a sort of presentation of what the so-called 'norm' is.” In a way, it also suggested just what was at stake.

Shifting in his seat, “I wasn't sure if including the Change -- a reclamation of our relationships between self and the world -- the Coil of Hunger brings would be out of place here. At the very least, I didn't want to be redundant as I talk briefly about it in part two. At most, I didn't want to accidentally add bias to the reader before all of the information was presented.”

Lifting his hand, David rubbed at his lip still thinking about it. Being vigilant against bias, accidental or otherwise, was job one. A lop-sided, self-effacing smile formed as David realized that he's been rambling a touch.

“Would it work better here?” Interested in Aileen's input, “Rather than later, I mean?”

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