After the Summer Court meeting (Private)

Jezebel stepped out of the Forge, and took a moment to enjoy the stillness and silence. A cool wind blew over the chemical sweat on her skin, sending the ghost - or perhaps the memory - of a chill through the Blightbent's numb flesh. She liked Spartan's club, but the pounding noise and blasting heat distantly reminded her of the choking industrial surroundings of her Durance, and she always felt a little relieved when she finally left. Perhaps, if she was accepted into the Court, it was something she would eventually get used to. She hoped so, at least.

For the moment, though, she leaned against the wall, waiting for the other two aspirants to emerge. She was curious to see how they thought they had done, and she still needed to see whether Malory would take up her offer. Jezebel doubted she would, but still thought it was worth making the effort.

Lou exited the forge shortly behind Jezebel, still somewhat excited about the meeting. He was somewhat frustrated at Rook's attitude about the situation, and wholly glad that Spartan offered a challenge instead of letting the talking continue. It was his hope that he and the other two aspirants would be able to work well enough together to overcome whatever it was that they'd be going after. If the exercise with Rook was any indication, however, they had some work to do.

The Fairest shot a glance over to Jezebel and smiled. "Welcome to the Freehold. I'm glad you decided to join up. What did you think of the meeting?"

Mal barged through the door to the Forge last of all, a low, rolling growl at the back of her throat as she back-handed an abandoned beer can, left on top of a bin, to the floor with a clatter - before kicking it so hard, it didn't clatter again until it hit the opposite sidewalk.

This petty outburst of frustration and anger, surprisingly enough didn't do much to quell her humour. If there had been a table conveniently placed in as unlikely a place as out on the street, she would probably have flipped that too...

Then she noticed the spilt, stale beer splashed up her bare leg, running down and soaking into her sock, and her shoulders slumped. She hugged her arms tightly across her chest and slouched to the floor, her back resting against the garbage can.

"That." she said, dimly aware she had left at the same time as the other aspirants, and they may have stuck around to chat, "Was Dildos."

"Well, I always was planning on taking the oath. Just wasn't sure how I was supposed to go about it." Jezebel said with a shrug. "Back in New York, you got hauled up when the Monarch in charge could be bothered seeing you, and not a moment earlier. It was a lot more formal."

The worrying thing, Jezebel thought, was how well it had worked. Her old Freehold might have been bordering on a tyranny, but everyone always knew their place and understood their role within the community. The Courts scraped and bickered for power and territory with one another at the lowest levels - Jezebel and groups of other Autumnal lost had engaged Summer-aligned motleys more than once - but as a whole, the Freehold had been strong and well-protected from outside threats.

But built upon a foundation of screwed up, manipulated and abused mortals. She reminded herself. The ends don't always justify the means.

"Gotta say, I wasn't expecting the Q and A session." Jezebel said, running a hand through her greasy hair. "I reckon we did about as well as we coulda done against Rook, but the whole public speaking thing? Not my forte, especially in front of the whole damn Court."

The sound of clattering metal stole Jezebel's attention away from Lou. She watched Malory's frustrations with curious dispassion, that slowly turned into confusion when she spoke.

"That was dil...what?" She frowned. "Is that a joke? I don't understand."

"Oh, it was something like that in L.A. as well. Everything was very fast, structured, ordered. I was a member of that freehold for about a year before I decided to leave - I felt like I wasn't really in control of anything in my life."

Lou tried his best to forget how he was used in L.A. - even by the people he thought were supposed to be his allies. Fortunately, he realised what he was becoming and managed to escape. It was hope that history would not repeat itself here.

"But I didn't mind the questions in general, though I was irritated by Anya's. I don't want to be a Spring Courtier, and implying that because I desire to do something I should join the Spring Court is silly. I didn't know what to expect though. Rook said I should come, and get tested, and I showed up. I'm not sure what they think of me, but if they don't want me in Summer, I have no reason to be a part of it. I guess, we'll see, huh?"

As Jezebel turned to Mal, Lou watched silently as the beast threw her little fit of rage. Mal was the sort of Summer Courtier he was used to from L.A. - angry at the world for the sake of being angry. The more experienced of them were more like Rook and Spartan, but Lou never saw them - he was simply thrown into the fray with the rest of the grunts. He smiled slightly at Mal's words and Jezebel's confusion - but he dared not correct her. He would leave that to Mal.

"It would help if you relaxed a little. No one here has it out for you, Mal. No need to treat us like we're the bad guys."

Mal sat in silence for several long moments, staring out at the road, her face twisted in confusion and disbelief before finally sighing and declaring; "...yes. It was a joke."

Sometimes it was just easier than trying to explain. And she was feeling far too drained, physically and emotionally by the last few hours to make the attempt.

She tipped back her head against the garbage can, staring up at the sky and groaned at Lou. "Now tell me I should stop biting people who just want to help me... or however the heck it goes." she said, wearily. "I never get tired of hearing that one either..."

"I suppose I should be flattered really..." she said, with a smile that actually had a lot more in common with a grimace. "...Everybody keeps telling me I am too paranoid. Rather than just a naturally unpleasant person."

It took a moment for Jezebel to respond to Lou. When she did, she spoke slowly, picking her words with care.

"I think what Anya was getting at is...like, it's not enough to just want to be in the Court, or to want to fight, or whatever. It's gotta be something a person's drawn to, like a calling. I mean, think about it."

Jezebel quickly looked up and down the street. She didn't see anyone else, but still lowered her voice, and took the occasional glance around. The last thing she wanted was some random passerby overhearing them. "If any of us get in, we're gonna have to kill people. Possibly hurt them first if we need information. Probably wind up getting killed ourselves, sooner or later. It's gonna be a nasty, bloody life and that's a lot to ask from someone if they're not totally sure it's something they're prepared for."

The Blightbent reached into her pocket and pulled out her cross. Taking a moment to untangle the chain and hang the battered little silver icon around her neck, she thought about what had gone on inside. Lou and Mal had both been chewed out and challenged over things they'd said when questioned. With the exception of the comments about her delay in taking the Oath, as far as Jezebel could tell, she hadn't been. Did that mean the ranking members of the Court felt she was such a lost cause as to not be worth the effort, or that she fitted well enough that any questioning was mostly a formality?

"I don't know you well enough to tell one way or another whether you're right for Summer." Jezebel added. "But look at it this way. Spartan's taking the lot of us. That means he thinks we've all got potential, and it's his opinion that matters most."

Turning her attention back to the Beast, Jezebel stared at her for what felt like a long time, finding it hard to make herself feel sorry for her as she sat there complaining and feeling sorry for herself.

Dunno what's worse. Blaming others for your problems, or blaming yourself but not doing anything about it. With that sort of attitude she'd make for a better Winter.

It might have been hard to feel sorry for her, but it was increasingly easy to feel angry at her. Jezebel walked over to the girl and crouched down next to her.

"Let me put something in perspective for you." Jezebel said. Her voice was little more than a ragged whisper, dead of emotion and punctuated by her heavy, rasping breath. "I don't care. And that's not trying to brush you off, it's literal. I don't, fuck, I can't care about people unless I force myself to. One of the lovely little hangups over what happened to me is I don't really do basic human empathy any more."

She leaned in closer, until the snout of her gas mask was only a few inches from Mal's face. "You think you're an unpleasant person? Try having to remind yourself to see people as actual people that can hurt and suffer, rather than just...things that eat and shit and make noise when you take a hammer to their legs. But I do, every day, because I will not allow that lack of empathy to control me like it used to."

Jezebel stood up again and turned away from the Beast. "Point is, you take the shit you're dealt, find out where the problems are, and work round them as best you can to stop them holding you back. So you can take all your misery and self-pity and fuck off to hide with the snowmen, or drag yourself out that gutter and make the changes you need to pick up the Iron Spear and move on with life. Your choice."

Lou listened to Jezebel's speech in silence, taking them into consideration as she spoke. He wanted to prove himself to the Summer Court, but was it a calling? That he would have to kill people wasn't an obstacle, so long as they weren't going after innocent people. But even then, is that the life he wanted to live? Did he need to be a Crimson Warrior to do that? The Draconic's rage was buried deep within his mind and his heart, and the being he was most angry at was himself. How could that be used to benefit others? Why did it need to be used to benefit others?

"I'm not sure, really. The Crimson may not be the place for me. But I am going to take this test with you, regardless. It may help me learn where I belong, if nothing else."

Lou didn't say anything to Mal. He just didn't know how to get through to her. Hopefully Jezebel's encouragement would be useful, but from all he's observed of Mal, she didn't want help or to be helped. Lou could barely figure himself out - how could he be of use to someone who refuses him? The Draconic nods in response to Jezebel's words to the beast, and folds his arms.

Mal looked Jez in her tarry, bloodshot eyes in long, tortuous incomprehension. "What." she said, finally, "Are you talking about?"

"Putting aside your issues with empathy," She said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "Which, I might add, I would never have got if you hadn't told me."

"This," she said, pointing down, to illustrate her point. "Is what we call a Sidewalk. The Gutter is over there."

"I have no idea how what I said that made you feel that tirade was necessary," she said, coldly. "But I did not come here to answer some calling. Or out of some any burning desire to be a part of any Court. So you can blow your derogatory remarks about the Winter Court out your ass. I am hardly between-mantles, here."

Despite her bemused indignance, she was the first to flinch and look away, the unpleasant appearance and smell finally getting to her. "I came because somebody I thought was worth respecting told me joining the Iron Spear might be the help I need..."

She paused, the look in her eyes changing as her train of thought derailed, hard from rebutting the lambasting she had just taken. "Why is half this city fixated on some abstract concept of 'helping' me, anyway?" She asked, blissfully ignorant thinking aloud was half the reason Jezebel had opened up on her to begin with.

Jezebel could be surprisingly patient, at times. Pollution was not an element that acted quickly - like the way rust creeps across metal, or how a factory gradually poisons the land around it, the Blightbent's mind tended to move slowly towards a final conclusion and stay there. But she had her limits, and Malory had finally exceeded them.

"Because that's how our society works, you idiot." Jezebel snapped. Streamers of mustard-coloured smog began to hiss out from the filters of her mask, betraying the frustration roiling inside her. She forced herself to keep her voice low, in case of any night-time wanders she was too distracted to notice, but laced it with as much bile as she could manage. "We help each other. Work together, take pledges, prove we can all be trusted. You're doing your best to keep out of that, so what the fuck does that say about you, huh? Right now I'm not just wondering if you belong here, I'm wondering if we're even on the same side."

Jezebel snorted disgust and turned away.

"I'm heading home. Catch you later, Lou."

Unless stopped, Jez will leave the scene.