:ish:



Ishani waited in the livingroom for Asa. She'd called him a while ago to ask him to come back home for a few hours so they could talk about a few things. One of those things was going to be the changes she had gone through during her time in torpor and her need to enact her revenge. The other thing was about her time in the Invictus.

This was the main thing she was concerned with. She did not know how he would take the news of her decision.


Asa arrived and went through his usual routine of setting down his things and taking off his jacket and tie, before wandering around to find Ishani.

"You know, these phone calls and you sitting on the couch usually mean my Requiem is about to change in some way," he smiled at her, then kissed her.


Ishani laughs. "Then I would say your instincts are correct. Although I find it funny that I am usually the one making the changes rather then the other way around."

She waits for him to sit down before she continues. "I have been thinking about the state of the city and our relationship for a while now and there are a few things I need to discuss with you. First, let me ask you a question. How content are you with the Invictus?"


"I think that's because you're a do-er and I'm a plan-er," Asa answered seriously, sitting down.

Funny, really, her wont to force change, and my tendency to adapt, given our familial traits.

He blanched a bit as she brought up the state of their relationship, not knowing where this would end, but tried to focus on her question.

It began with her simply staying one morning. Will it end with her just as simply leaving?

"A few promising members," Asa said. "None seem particularly motivated or adept at the acquisition of power."

He knew that Ishani had been around the city politic longer than he; if he recognized that the vast majority of the Invictus' current position was a result of their presence and influence, then so had she.


Ishani shakes her head, pursing her lips. "I didn't ask what was going on in the covenent Asa. I already know all that. I asked if you were content. How do you feel about it? Are you happy? I could care less about the other members."


Asa blinked, realizing she was right. Her lead-up had totally made him miss the question.

Am I happy? With... the Invictus?

There were a few things that made Asa happy. Everything else... was everythinge else. He considered her question, as well as how much things had changed since Bethem. That they would always be tied in some way to the Invictus through their Dynastic House, he understood.

Again... not what she asked.

"I have found no pleasure in being a member," Asa said. If the tone of the conversation were lighter, he might have added other than teasing you about your wardrobe, but it was not, so he did not.


Ishani nods, having anticipated the answer. He had not seemed particularly happy with the state of affairs for some time now. She had jst not had the time to question him about it further. Not that she had the time right this minute, really, but she was tired of being yanked around and they needed to get a few things straightened out. She was determined to make the time.

"I had noticed your lagging interest in the affairs of the covenent. That is why I asked. Did you have another interest you would rather persue? I ask because........I do. It is not something I have discussed with anyone yet, I wanted to talk with you first. But it is something I am planning on discussing with someone. So, I wanted to know where your interests lie in case we are both looking for the same thing. It just makes things easier, I am sure you know what I mean."

You've been thinking about our relationship? Other interests you want to pursue? That you need to 'discuss with someone'?

"I... I'm not sure what you're saying... or asking," Asa said, feeling nauseous. "At least, I don't think I do, or hope I don't," he added, realizing he sounded like a moron.

"Are we talking about Covenants... or our relationship?" he finally clarified.


Ishani frowns. At what point had she lost him? Maybe she was not being clear and tossing too many vague notions out there.

"I thought I was talking about Covenents. What were you talking about?"


There really wasn't a good way to explain his confusion without sounding like an idiot... might as well admit it.

"Something else, apparently," Asa sighed, rubbing his temples. "I was just thrown for a loop when you mentioned our relationship and wanting to pursue other things, and needing to talk to someone else," he elaborated.
Ishani sighs, shaking her head. "You heard the word relationship and your brain fogged out and everything ran together. Ok well, then let me help to clear it up for you. I was trying to do this in a more subtle manner, but I can see that will only serve to confuse the issue."

She sits up straighter and locks eyes with him, not caring about or fearing his Ventrue abilities. Probably the only one in the city that didn't fear direct eye contact with him.

"I am leaving the Invictus."


Asa looked at Ishani's body language and proclamation with curiosity and surprise. She acted as if she had been letting this build up for some time... and expected a confrontation. Which explained her roundabout way of saying it.

"You know, after the night I replaced Shadow, I found out that there were a lot of things we both hadn't said to each other," he said, reaching out to take her hand. "Let's not do that again. You don't have to be subtle with me. It confuses me. I'm used to Ishani saying exactly what she wants to, when she wants to."

He shrugged. "We will leave the Invictus, then. I'll honestly have to give some thought to what interests me, or if I will return to being unbound."

Using her hand, he pulled her from upright to closer to him. "Why would you worry so about what I thought of you leaving the Invictus? You should have just told me, if you were unhappy."


Ishani looks at Asa, clearly confused by his acceptence of her statement. "I didn't say you had to leave too. I was just saying that I was planning on leaving. I just can't look at people and see objects or pawns to be used in some grand game. I know that is how you are supposed to think when you are Invictus and I just can't do it. I want to be what I was. A warrior. Someone who is known for their prowess in battle and their fast thinking. Like, how I used to look at Karsh. I am thinking of talking to Rahyna and seeing what the Dracul has to offer."

She allows him to pull her closer and leans into him. "I didn't tell you because you've been doing so well here. You seem to fit right into that nich that they want or need. You.....indictued Twist and Culler and Konstantin and they all look to you for strength and leadership. Not just as the Prince, but as their covenent head. I didn't want to get in the way of that because of my unhappiness. You're happiness is important too and if this is where you feel your path lies, then you should stay."


"We joined the Invictus as security for our Requiems," Asa said with a sigh. "Instead... everything I've seen that they stand for is so fleeting... maybe it would have been different if the other Millars had survived," he said. He understood her words about Karsh; he felt the same about Lioni.

"There's nothing for me with the Invictus," Asa continued. "I did what I thought was necessary for you and I. I'll owe Twist an apology, but..." he trailed off.

His mind was already racing. The Ordo Dracul, a Covenant of knowledge, and secrets. He had actually avoided the Covenant, but the reason for that was no longer an issue. If what he understood about the Covenant was true, perhaps it had been at the end of a path he had long been on. If they could also bring the gift of Coils into the Dynasty...

An idea sparked, as those ideas swirled. He needed to call Steele. If Asa were no longer Invictus, there was no reason for the Prince to honor the Invictus claim of domain. He'd have to bounce that off of Ishani... later.

"My path is not with the Invictus," he said, smiling at her.


Ishani frowns, he had seemed to jump at this rather quickly.

"All right then, I will talk to Rahyna the next time I get the chance."

She pushes away from him again and sighs. Now came the hard part, at least for her.

"There is something else we need to discuss or rather I need to tell you." She leans back and watches his face as she speaks. "When I was sired, it was because I managed to trick my sire into doing it. I watched my "brother" kill my parents on my sire's orders. I became a kindred so I could kill them."

She shakes her head and looks down at the floor. "I met up with Freddrick a little before we came to Sacramento and decided to throw my lot in with him for the time being until I could hunt my sire down. Then I got caught up in the politics of the city and well, you know the rest of that story. Anyway," she looks back up at him, "when I was in torpor, I saw my parents death again. It reminded me of the reason I became a vampire. I need to find them and destroy them. I don't know where that is going to lead me, but I am going to begin the hunt for them again."


Asa listened, and digested her words, absentmindedly looking up at where their painting hung.

"It's funny that one of us is working to ensure our Requiems continue together as long as possible, and one of us is trying to prematurely end hers," he finally said, trying to make a joke. Except, it didn't come out sounding funny, because he didn't think it was funny... at all.

Couldn't you leave me my illusions for a while longer?

"I will be very angry if you get yourself killed," he finally said.


Ishani sighs, following his eyes to the painting.

"I find it interesting that you cherish something that is essentially dead and gone." She turns to him and once again finds his eyes. "Do you ever consider your existence Asa? Don't you ever wonder what will happen to you when you finally turn to ash? I used to think that I knew what would happen. I used to look forward to the time when the wind would carry my remains away. Now........I am not so sure. Maybe I do have a final death wish. Maybe that is why I chose to become a kindred in the first place. I don't know."

She thinks about what the stars must look like outside right now, and for the first time wishes they had a window in the haven. "I would like to believe there is something beyod this. Or that maybe we can overcome this existence, this condition. I would like the chance to find that truth. That is why I am going to talk to Rahyna about the Dracul."

She leans over and takes his hand in hers, turning the cold flesh over to stare at his palm, his slender fingers, the well kept nails. She raises her eyes to meet his again. "I can promise you I will do everything within my power to survive a confrontation, should there ever be one. I can also promise you that I will not rush head long into something before I am completely prepared for it and I completely understand it. I am sure it will take me quite a bit of time to find them anyway. By then, I should be prepared."


"Of course I think about those things," Asa answered. "Perhaps the Dracul does hold the key to 'this condition'... but perhaps transcendence is found in the most noble pursuit of the human condition."

He looked down at their hands. "Are you happy with us? I know you think I'm naive at times, but you seem so... angry lately. I'm sorry that I don't know how to make you happy," he finished.


Ishani frowns at him. "Who ever said I wasn't happy with us? Who said you couldn't make me happy, or that you don't make me happy?"

What makes you think the undead could ever be happy? She thinks, but keeps it to herselff. She was still having a hard time with keeping a stranglehold on her emotions lately, which was obviously something he had noticed.

"It has been hard to keep control of my emotions since I returned from the long sleep." She says carefully. "It has been a long time since I have really needed to control them as my connection to Yama used to strengthen my resolve. Without it......I feel as if I am floundering in a sea of feeling lately and I am having difficulty treading those waters. It is just a matter of practice. I believe my anger from the death of my parents is what helped me to survive the Lost Nights. So, that emotion is almost always at the forefront of my mind. It seems to come faster then before. I will do better to harness it in the future."

Need to learn control, Ishani. Come on, you are better then this. She scolds herself as she looks down at their hands.


"OK," Asa said, looking up at her, thinking upon her words.

He considered how much had changed; how much she had lost. A lot of her sense of identity had changed, and not all of it willingly. Perhaps this vendetta would be some sort of vision quest, or walkabout.

"Remember when things were fun?" he finally asked, wanting to see a smile, wanting to make a connection in the midst of all the disconnect. "When all we had to worry about were Blood-sucking plants, killer Nosferatu, and burning the city down ourselves?"