The moment that the nod to leave was given, Josephine stepped out of the room. She could no longer leave a building to grab a breath of fresh air, but at the moment Josephine craved the sensation. The ability to breathe deeply in an effort to relax had always calmed her; and with a pang she realised it was something that she missed.

In general, the good doctor tried not to dwell on the past, to recall forgotten moments so that she might reminisce...until now.

Josephine paused on the balcony outside, fingers curling around the cool metal to grip tightly. She regarded the ground for a second, her expression twisting in anger: had she not jumped before, she would not have been skewered and would have remained blissfully unaware of the reality of torpor. The Haunt craved that ignorance as well. Josephine was absently aware that she was being completely unclinical in her desire for the impossible; and yet she couldn't quite help her thoughts as they streamed, cluttered into her mind.

"Fucking idiot."

Josephine's voice cut through the air, vicious and sharp as she berated herself. What was done could not be taken back, and certainly not to spare her feelings on the matter. It had just been a dream, a stupid damned torpored dream. It didn't mean anything. The only course of action that remained was to put it behind her and move on.

"A minute, Doctor?" Anasztaz asks her, having followed into the balcony since they had been momentarily dismissed in preparation for the hunt. It was the perfect opportunity to approach her on what he had been wishing to discuss since she awoke.

Yet, he wanted to make certain it was the right time to talk. Her Beast was likely riding high, and there could be a possibility that she wasn't in the mood to speak, much less on regards of that.

Josephine didn't hear his approach- perhaps testament alone to how deep into her own thoughts she currently was. They were thoughts that she wanted to be pulled from, and with a great effort she forced a smile when she faced him.

"Yes?" Josephine questioned. Her voice was clearly heavy, creating a striking disparity to her expression. "Has there been fresh news?"

On some level the doctor was aware that there couldn't be; she had left the room only seconds ago, unless her grasp on time was slipping away. Still, she needed something else to think about. While Josephine didn't necessarily want an in-depth conversation, she did despire a distraction.

"It is not that matter what I wish to discuss now." Anasztaz says, leaning on the rail at her side. He stared off into the distance for a moment, before returning his eyes to hers and locking into them assessingly. No matter how well could one hide it, it was the kind of situation that would stir many waters within.

"You have gone through a harrowing experience, two, in fact. The kind that can change a being dramatically. I want you to observe it, clinically, to document it and report it. I believe this to be your trial."

"I-," Josephine cut herself off.

She was not entirely sure what she wanted to say. The Haunt pulled her gaze away from Anasztaz, where usually she may have defiantly held the attention. She felt wrong-footed by what had occured, and it sat distinctly badly with her.

Josephine settled on a lie, in the futile hope that she could in fact lie less to Anasztaz and more to herself. "It was nothing. Really. A simple experience to learn from, and move on." Swiftly, she thought to herself.

"That is a lie, and I don't wish you to lie to me. Remember what I am to you now, and what you are to me." Anasztaz says with a hint of severity, but he smiled reassuringly. The blood taken from the Bishop, and the brutal and violent torpor, were experiences that couldn't be simply brushed under the carpet.

"What had just happened, both things, will change you in many ways. I wish you to observe them as you would analyze a sample in a laboratory. You are your own subject now. Observe and see where it leads you, lest it takes you somewhere you don't wish to go."

Josephine heeded his words, and her gut churned in a decidedly unpleasant manner. She nibbled absently on her lip, a silly little tell of anxiety that she had not had since she was a child. Her fingers unclenched around the balcony and instead began to tap. Her entire demeanour suggested agitation, despite her words to the contrary.

"I...dliske what occured," Josephine answered, and the response was lame even to her own words. She wasn't committed enough to admit the truth: what she had seen in torpor had terrified her.

"As negative experiences tend to be. Unlikeable." Anasztaz nods in agreement. "Yet, it is those experiences that teach us the most, those lessons are very hard to forget."

He felt guilt for a moment for pushing her so hard to revisit it, but it was important. Otherwise she'd have sought to forget about it, at least from a high rational level, leaving the consequences linger and shape her unchecked in the subconscious.

"Understanding what happened can not only help to overcome it, but you might yet emerge stronger still. Study it carefully, see how it changes you internally or externally. Your feelings, emotions or thoughts. Keep it documented."

Josephine found herself in the unique position of not wanting to learn more. She knew that it was terribly unacademic of her, and not particularly helpful to Anasztaz's apparant thirst for more information regarding her experience. "Yes," the doctor remarked dryly. "Somehow I doubt I will be forgetting that experience quickly."

She closed her eyes, hands running across her face. "Very well." Her tone sounded terribly unenthused with the idea. Josephine was certainly not prone to agreeing to something just to get someone to go away: her stepfather had done that on occasion, and so the doctor ensured that she did not so as to distance herself from him.

And yet the very thought of documenting what happened, in minute detail so that the personal, horrific experience may be picked apart by others and studied...understood...

"I have no doubt you won't, which is why you must treat it carefully. Change left unobserved is a waste, but change left unchecked is just plain dangerous." Anasztaz elaborates, shaking his head with a certain air of admonition.

"Remember, this is your trial. Through this experience you will understand why we observe, and hopefully learn how important this is for anything you might seek to do in the future while being a Dragon."

Josephine supposed that was true, and she gave a curt nod of agreement. She did not like this change coming over her, but...yes, he was correct of course. To ignore it would be worse. It could fester, grow, and if she should fall into Torpor again...

She was afraid to study herself in too great a detail; but it might be the lesser of two evils.

"I...will do what I can," the Haunt answered, sighing heavily. She certainly wasn't going to forget her torpored experience anytime soon. Unlike a normal dream of slumbers past, this was not fading with time. If she dwelled on the images too much, the doctor could still feel their grip on her body, the knives cutting into her skin with untrained hands.

It was all in her head of course, and yet after performing countless operations herself; she was in the uncomfortable position of being able to imagine the pain "patients" must have felt.

I suppose this is my consequence. It's just coming later than I thought it would.

"I am glad to hear you have chosen to listen to my advise." he chose advise rather than request, he had brought it as a mentor would pass instruction to a pupil rather than how a friend would counsel another. "You will come to find wisdom in it."

Anasztaz gazed off again into the distance past the balcony. Towards the urban waste that still festered with those that lived under the rotting roofs on this sick part of town. A small smile was drawn upon his lips.

"Also make certain you learn how to control it when you need to. The night is not over, and we will see much more of it before we each retire to our homes."

Her fingers curled tightly at her sides, fingers digging into her palms. She had a feeling that the night was going to feel horrifically long, if she didn't see a way to control her sudden...discontent. With a vicious sigh, Josephine thrust her hands into her pockets. She wasn't going to verbalise the actual feeling that was starting to grow in her gut. She was not discontented, but the word would suffice for now.

Ignorance was still bliss, right?

Uh-huh. What else are you going to kid yourself about?

"I can control it," Josephine stated, with a certainty that was not felt even slightly.

Are you seriously losing your fucking nerve? After everything, after a bad sleep is rankling you?

"I don't intend on screwing up, if that's what you're concerned about," Josephine added gruffly, her focus remaining on the skyline ahead of them.

"That is not it at all." Anasztaz says, shaking his head and turning to gaze at Josephine again. He noticed the hesitance, but he could understand it. She had just emerged from the long sleep, still reeling from it and thrust into a blood bond, she would need a bit to recover.

"I am concerned about you. I don't want this to drag you down, I have much hopes for what you can do."

He smiled reassuringly, he wanted to be there to give her support rather than to push her or pressure her further. If his intent had been conveyed wrongly, he wanted to make sure overtly that it was straightened out before they left the balcony. The situation was pressing enough.

Hearing Anasztaz's words, Josephine felt somewhat relieved. So he didn't expect her to crash and burn; at least there was a little faith coming from someone. It was a little heartening. "You don't need to worry," the doctor assured him gently. "I'll...get on top of it. I'll get it done. Are there any time constraints?"

"Always. For immortal creatures we do feel keenly the need to achieve results promptly." Anasztaz says with a hint of humor in his intonation, smirking amusedly.

"Take your time. Do it right. I can be patient and wait for the greatness I see in you if it means we'll really get you there. Once you are done, present your findings to me and we'll take them before the other Dragons to conclude your trial."

A dull thud lurched inside her stomach, and she inclined her head a little to study the Kindred beside her. "I'll need to...go into detail what happened during torpor...to the others?" Josephine questioned quietly. Time was good. She liked time. It made finding results something of the distant future.

"Indubitably." Anasztaz responds matter-of-factly. He kept his eyes still on hers, letting her study him at length if she so wished.

"It is your trial, as I said. It is a great opportunity. I have no doubt that everyone would recognize you as a Dragon if you can show them you can take and overcome adversity by becoming stronger through observation and assimilation of everything that went on."

Josephine physically tensed beside Anasztaz. "Of course. My findings may help another Kindred who falls to torpor," she responded stiffly. She didn't consider it a great opportunity; she didn't want it to be an opportunity. Unfortunately Josephine was not in the position to be picky. "I'll need to...think about it first. Get things sorted in my head. I'll do my best to keep you...updated."

"Don't be so altruistic. This is not about everything else, it is about you. It is a show of how you can face circumstances that bring about change, observe and use them to your advantage." Anasztaz shakes his head.

"This is about you, remember. Do keep me up to date."

With that, he decides to ease off the pressure and instead returns to the room.

Josephine doesn't return to the room immediately, instead remaining away from the others for a few more minutes. She knew that soon enough the hunt would begin, and their small group of Nosferatu would grow to accomodate the other Kindred who would aid them. As long as no one asked any probing questions she would be fine.

And then I can begin...examining my own damned head.

The doctor pulled away from the balcony once the other Kindred began to arrive, unobtrusively joining the group inside the room.