The Irish Pub Strikes Back

[Kaze]

This Irish Pub was squeezed into a space in downtown Sacramento. Kaze got a table, in the back. He's wearing black trousers and a black collar and button shirt of cotton, not shiny. He tells the server to just bring him some tea, that he's waiting for someone to join him before ordering from the menu. He looks off into space, seeming oblivious to his surroundings, and sighs more than once. He doesn't know how this will go when Phoenyx arrives, but he knows it is the right thing to do, talking to her first.

[Yumyumcrow]

This is a Social Scene. I've put it in the right message board

[Phoenyx]

The door swings open and the flapping leather trenchcoat of Phoenyx claps it's way into the pub. She scans around, spots Kaze, and walks over to him, standing at the end of the table. "This isn't the fire-house," she says with a slightly narrow-eyed look. It's hard to tell if she's joking this time - she looks pretty serious.

The Obrimos slides nimbly into a chair. "So. What is it?" she asks bluntly.

[Kaze]

Kaze sighs. "Yeah. Sorry. I thought at the last minute, it would be better here. I...there's so much, there's reasons, but...I feel like I owe it to you to tell you first. I..." he sighs again."I am going to tell the First Talon that I am leaving the Order. I...am going to quit being an Arrow, Phoenyx. I am sorry to...let you down."

[Phoenyx]

Phoenyx's brow furrows, and she folds her arms. "No you're not." The Obrimos watches him, waiting.

[Kaze]

Kaze actually smiles slightly. "Well, I am glad I am not discouraging you." he says.

"Honestly, Phoenyx, I have been on this path, being an Arrow, from the time I was little, and it has always been about following orders to my best. And I think it was a flaw in me, not having the courage to try my own ideas, to risk disappointing others or just failing at trying to be something else." he says.

Kaze shakes his head, "Okay, I am not saying that anyone else shouldn't do it. Just that for me...I got way to desensitized to violence, to where it was just part of how I thought. And I got way to dependent on always having a clear order or directive for how to react." he says.

"Remember when we were here before? And I was talking about training with live blades and ammunition like it was the best thing?" he says, "That's why I didn't go to help you with training civilians. I realized, the only way I knew to do it was...well, kind of warped, honestly."

Kaze pauses in thought a moment, and then says, "I don't know how much it shows, but everything I do, everything I think about doing, I felt like I had to justify it as training somehow." he says.

He looks at Phonex. "I don't want to freak you out, but you helped me see it too. I mean, Phoenyx, you are hot." he says, smiling.

He shakes his head again. "I don't know how you would have taken it, if I let myself treat you like an attractive, interesting woman worth getting really know as more than just a team mate, but I never let myself think about you except as a fellow Arrow to train with to improve our performance, and to cover your back at all times." he says.

"I mean, that's not bad, but I think there's more to life, and for me...there hasn't been, really ever." he says.

"When we moved out of the Circle, when the First Talon was asking us how we became Arrows, and told us how he did...it occurred to me, I never really tried anything else." Kaze says. "I think I need to. There is so much to who we are, what we can learn and what we can do." he says. "I have been really limited by keeping blinders on, just looking for the next mission or training for it."

Kaze stops and looks at Phoenyx, just taking a breath and resting for a moment. Then he says, "Phoenyx, when I started developing contacts on the street, regular people, Sleepers, shop owners...I saw families, and people living their lives. I just figured since I was Awakened, that wasn't for me." Kaze says, "But I think I had already decided inside that I'd never have anything like that, back when my Mom died. And I don't think she would have wanted me to just give up like that."

Kaze sighs again. "I don't know how this will go, just that I have to do it. I am not planning on leaving town. If it worked out where I could still be friends, well, I mean, if we weren't team mates anymore, I'd like to be friends, and actually do stuff together, you know, stuff that wasn't actually training for anything. Like seeing a movie. Regular people stuff."

He shakes his head, "Anyway, I don't mean to dump a lot on you. I know I am. I just believe I owe you an explanation, and I guess an advance warning. I don't even know if I will have to move out on my own, or if I want to."

[Phoenyx]

Phoenyx.... Well. For someone who has a definition of resting bitch face, Phoenyx is pretty inscrutable. She could understand being trained for a long time, making things like training.

But then she balks and her eyes go wide, shocked, and she tenses noticeably at the compliment. It clearly takes a while for her to process, by which point Kaze has just about finished.

"That's stupid, you know that, right?" She snaps, standing up. There's hurting in her eyes. "You don't need to stop being who you are to meet people, or do fun things. We... You worked hard to get to where you are and you're going to throw it away to do.... What? Make new friends?" She shakes her head. "If you want more from life that what you're getting you change your life. Adaptability, dumb ass. I never realised you thought you had is so bad. I guess if you even need me you know where I'll be."

Phoenix storms out of the bar.

Just for reference, Ruach, we don't have to end the scene here but Kaze'll have to chase her down to to do it!

[Kaze]

Kaze doesn't hesitate, having more or less kind of expected this reaction, though earlier, he leaves a twenty dollar bill on the table, and chases after Phoenyx, walking quickly but not catching up until she's been able to walk a while. He catches up to her when she is at her motorcycle, hoping the walk has allowed her to process enough.

"Phoenyx, wait! Please!" he says.

He casts a spell to keep their words private.

  2 successes

Date		Action		Roll		Result
2019-01-23 12:22:53		Kaze rolls 4 to Improvised casting Influence Sound (Force 3 + Gnosis 1; ruling arcana no manna cost) (10 Again)		3, 9, 10, 7, 2		2 successes

"You are right. I have been stupid, and foolish. I am trying to be more wise now. It's not that I want more friends, or different friends. It's not that I don't like the life I have now or feel like I've had it bad. It's that I don't think I like myself, who I have let myself become. Someone who is okay with hurting people, if they aren't in my Order or my Consilium, like anyone else isn't really there, isn't human. Someone who only thinks about how to train to get better at hurting people. Someone who doesn't know what to do if no one in authority is around to give me orders." he says.

"I don't want to be that person, and I guess I am scared that if I stay in the Arrows, I will keep going that way, and get worse and more callous instead of adapting in a good way. I don't really know how to be both a good Arrow, and teach myself to treat everyone like they are real, not just tools or threats or obstacles."

[Phoenyx]

Phoenix doesn't turn around, but does see the sigil glare into being and whirl around them.

"Then don't." Her voice is hard. "You've realised you want to change from what you're becoming. That's learning from experience and adapting. And it won't be easy, because existence is war." She mounts her bike, and states at him. "If your first thought when things get hard is to bail, maybe you shouldn't be an Arrow. You've always had feelings and cared about people. But I never saw you as a quitter. I just thought you were better than that." She revs the engine.

You can try and stop her, or try and find her back at home!

Sorry for giving Kaze the runaround, but he really dropped this on her

[Kaze]

Kaze nods. "Okay. That's fair." he says as she revs up to drive away.

As she rides away he says softly, too softly to be heard, "I thought I was better than I am too. I am working on it."

No worries! Thank you for the scene!