Identity crisis.

Something that completely described what Aurora had been going through lately.

And when one section was settled and figured out, like her name, another question popped up.

Therach.

Was that who she was now?

As she laid on the soft sheets of her canopy bed at the theater, staring at the refashioned xmas lights that hung above her, she wondered.

Did the Orders philosophy still hold true for her? Did she still think she had to hold others responsible for their behavior? Cause seriously, weren’t they all adults and shouldn’t they be able to act like it. Owning up to their own mistakes. And did she still believe that every Sleeper has the right to Awaken? When you look at it, don’t only the strong and able awaken? Maybe the Sleepers who don’t, didn’t deserve the privilege.

And she was tired. Tired of the games that some of the Ladder played. She didn’t like games.

She didn’t know. And didn’t know who to turn to for advice and guidance. There were no other Ladders in Sacramento to talk to, and no one else understood.

Tuesday tried to listen and help, which had been nice. And put a few ideas in her head, reaching out to other cities, even talking about the Arrow.

But was she an Arrow? She knew very little about Arrows, only what she’d heard in her travels. Was she a fighter? Well, no, not really. At least she didn’t think she was. But her reawakening did awaken something in her, a fire of sorts. One that drove her to seek vengeance against the Seer’s and how they’d fucked with her world and the place she called home.

Hell, she didn’t even know if she was still a Ladder.

But she wasn’t a Guardian, she knew that. The idea of being shackled with deceit and expected to mindlessly follow orders. While she knew somewhere inside that what she believed was what she’d heard and it probably wasn’t that way, it was her belief.

That left two other Orders. The Free Council and the Mysterium. And the Free Council was a joke to her. Thinking that Mages who choose to be lazy and without ambitious had a right to vote on matters was bullshit to her. But then again, hadn’t she, at one time, been lazy with politics? Not stepping up, not getting herself involved more?

She didn’t know any Free Council mages, but she did know one in the Mysterium. Again, she knew little about the Order. Just that they seemed like book worms to her, always hunting for new lore and books. Hunting. That word resonated with her now. And maybe, just maybe, there was a book out there about mages changing paths. One that would help her sort herself out. If they did, they might also have other information, information that she could find useful.

But would he be willing to talk about it. She knew all too well that each Order had their secrets, ones they held close.

Her head turns and looks at the cell plugged in on the nightstand. And the debate began. A new one.

Should she reach out, see what he would have to say? Or continue the internal battle of figuring out who she was alone. Like she had been doing. Which had not gotten her very far at all. Just a new name, a whole lot of questions.

Head turns to the lights once again, moving from one to another, the wheels of her mind turning.

Head and heart engrossed in a new battle. One she had never fought before, and for once in her life, she was scared.