Ankh sits on the couch reading a book and waiting for Animus to come home. He'd told her he needed to speak with her so she'd decided the safest place to do that was here. She'd thought about meeting him at a sandwitch shop or something similer but had chosen not to. Lately no where seemed safe enough for them to go. She always had the skin crawling feeling that someone was watching her or following her. She is pretty sure it has to do with the stronghold attack and knowing the Banishers are still out there, but it didn't make the muscles between her shoulder blades any more relaxed.

When the Banishers are dead, she will relax. Until then she resolved to be on her guard. She just wished she could do more for her cabal mates. All of them save West had gone into some kind of inner depression and she wasn't sure if there was anything she could really do about it. Yes, she has a psychology degree, but unless her companions decide to talk to her there isn't much she can do with it.

She turns a page in her book and lets her eyes run over the chineese lettering.


Animus lets himself in and comes to sit next to Ankh. Trying not to think of the library, of the books on the Abyss. In the weeks since the attack on the Banishers, he had slowly regained energy and focus, but he still clearly has a long way to go.

He sighs, knowing Ankh isn't going to like what he has to ask, but there's really no way to dodge around it. "I talked with Eclipse, about Andrade, the Ladder, basically working out where we go from here. I have his support in reaching for the Hierarch position, so I doubt I'll have any serious opposition." He takes a deep breath. This next bit would be the sticking point. Ankh had never liked politics. "The Thyrsus Councilor position will be open. I want you to take it."

Ankh looks up from her book and blinks.....twice. She slowly closes the book and sets it aside, giving Animus her full attention.

"I don't know how to be a Councilor." She says bluntly. She's found in recent times that blunt generally works well with some. She wasn't one for the subtlties of conversation. Politics requiredsubtlty. She isn't sure if she can do that.

"Tell me what is expected of someone in that position and I'll tell you if I am capable of doing the job."


Animus breaks into a bitter laughter, not at all pleasant to hear. "And you think we were prepared, that we all knew exactly what we were doing, right?" He shakes his head. "We've all been learning as we go, as much from our own mistakes as anything else. Eclipse was the only one with prior experience." He frowns, remembering the museum debacle.

After a moment, he makes eye contact with Ankh again. "You were chosen as a Provost because you're a capable leader. Even if you don't like it, or want to admit it.That's the same reason why I ask this now. The Consilium needs people who can lead, and who will make good decisions. That's you, Ankh. I've seen it."

Ankh isn't sure if she agrees with Animus about that. She still knows next to nothing about being Awakened, nevermind being in charge of something. But then again, who the hell did? After all, reality is all about perception really. What she might think is a good decision, someone else could counter with what they think is one of their own. Besides, Animus was trying to become Hierarch here, a goal she would never dream of attempting. Not because she thought she couldn't do it, but because she didn't think she could handle that kind of responsability.

All those people counting on her to make the right choices in the best interests of the Consillium? No thank you.

She nods slowly at Animus' words. He did have a point. None of them had been prepared to step up to the plate when asked, but they had. Even Ash had stood and agreed to become a Counsilor. And it had been what? A month or two since he'd found out what he was? Besides, Animus needs her and so does the rest of the community.

"All right, you have a point. I guess I never really looked at it that way. I know none of you were prepared at the time but since it wasn't me, I don't think I took a good look at the situation." She sighs and looks up at Animus, her eyes uncertain. "If this is what is needed then I will agree. I suppose it could always be worse. I could have to deal with Andrade."

She smiles then, but the smile doesn't last very long. "Who else do you have backing you? I am sure you know you have the Cabal's support if you should need it."


Animus shrugs. "I haven't specifically asked anyone else, but I doubt anyone would oppose me. Especially not after what happened at the Museum." He pauses for a moment and then chuckles. "You know, I was half expecting to have to deal with a polar bear after dropping that question."

Ankh smiles. "Well if you want I could still pull a change and attack you, but we'd have to take it outside. Blood is a total pain in the ass to get out of the carpets."

She would do it too. Maybe she should. Naw, best to get him when he isn't expecting it.


Animus shakes his head wearily. "Too much on my mind right now."

Ankh nods her understanding, placing a hand over Animus'. "Yeah I can imagine. Anything you want to talk about? Besides the whole Councilor job and all that. Why do you think you should step up as Hierarch?"

Animus squeezes Ankh's hand gently. "Honestly, I'm not convinced anyone else is really qualified. Except maybe the Curator, but she's overworked as it is." He sighs, shaking his head. "After the Kruegans' assault, they called me from the museum to heal the injured. And I watched them argue, no one really taking the lead -- almost certainly why it had blown up so badly." He shudders slightly. "Not even the Deacon had tried to take charge of the situation. You know the state I was in, but I still got people working on concrete plans of what to do next." He gives her hand another soft squeeze, his expression and the gesture bearing a small hint of worry despite the confidence of his words.

"That makes sense" She gives him a sidelong glance, knowing what she needs to say but also knowing he isn't going to want to hear it.

"You realize that if you want to do this then you are going to have to believe in your own leadership skills. It is one thing for people to follow you, but if you do not have faith in yourself and the choices you make then no one else is going to believe in you."


Animus sighs, glancing down momentarily at Ankh's captured hand. "I'm trying, I really am, it's just been a struggle. When I can keep myself busy, I usuallly don't think about it, but other times, ..."

He hesitates a bit, not sure he wants to say the next part in the open. "The Abyss isn't helping things any, either. Even after these months, being near Jack or Jordan triggers a depression. I can't help wonder if the Abyss doesn't manipulate me in subtler ways." He shivers slightly. "I found in our library some accounts of similar things happening to what everyone experienced, always uncontrolled. So maybe I'm imagining shadows that aren't there. But I still can't quite shake the thought"

Finally he cracks a smile, releasing Ankh's hand, although making no move to withdraw his own. "Sorry to dump on you like this, but I think I really needed to get it said."

Ankh laughs. "I have a shrink degree remember? Who else are you going to dump it on?"

She becomes serious then, considering his words. "You said you found other accounts of something similer happening in the libraries. Did they talk about this depression you've been feeling? And if so, do they give any clues as to how to deal with it?"

Ankh could understand Animus' depression. It was kind of like falling in love with someone and not being able to tell them. It fucked up your sleeping, eating, living habits. It made you severely depressed most of the time and barely able to tolerate life the rest of the time. You don't find anything enjoyable except being with or talking to the person. Basically, life sucks until you either let it out and tell them, or let it go.

Or, it could also be like when someone you care about dies and it's your fault because you let them down. Maybe Animus was feeling responsible for all the people the Banishers had taken out. Although, how that could possibly be his fault, she didn't know.

"Is it possible for the Abyss to be inside you? Needling these thoughts to the surface?"


Animus heaves a sigh. "The accounts were more general. They seemed similar to the impresions everyone had at the last Consilium, but if it's possible to stop it, I have no idea." He shakes his head in frustration. "The thing with the Abyss is, I just don't know what it's capable of. Maybe it could be manipulating my moods. In a way, it'd almost be comforting to be able to blame my doubts on an external force like that. But I don't think it's a healthy way of dealing with them."

Ankh shakes her head, still watching him. "No it isn't nor do I think you should deal with it that way, but I do think it is a possibility. I'll look into it, see what I can find. My concern is for the rest of the Consillium as well. If it can affect you like this, if that is possible, then imagine what it could do to a weaker mage."

She didn't mean weaker in power level either, she meant sheer strength of personality. Even though Animus had been doubting himself recently, he still had a very strong sense of presence, sense of self. If the Abyss was taking this much out of him then a lesser person would crumble under the pressure of such doubts. That would be a mental infliction they could not afford right now.

"I am with you, Animus. I know you will make a good Hierarch."

I am not sure about me being a Councilor, but what other choice is there? I'll do my best.


Animus shivers slightly at the thought. "No, that wouldn't end well, but I don't think there's a whole lot we can do right now to prepare for it. There's just too much that's unknown."

Finally, he gives Ankh's hand one last squeeze before pulling away. "But thank you, Ankh. For everything. You really have been a big help."

She gives Animus her best bright smile and nods. "Good. That is what I am here for. You guys are the only family I have so, I try my best. If you need anything else just let me know."