She’d been working on a commission project, a pair of chairs. New upholstery, sand and repaint the legs, the usual.

But she’d barely gotten anything done. Sitting back on her feet, she wipes her forehead and sighs.
This wasn’t going to get anywhere. Not until she dealt with it.

Did she want to deal with it? No. Did she ever want to deal with difficult situations? Nope. Especially when it came to emotions. Those were a fucking mess. Filled with confusion and pain.

One-night stands had been a part of her life. Coming and going from city to city. Getting her needs met for the night then moving on. Easy, no emotions, nothing.

Touch me I'm cold, unable to control
Touch me I'm golden and wild as the wind blows

And now?

Standing, she goes into the kitchen for a beer and leans against counter, lost in thought. Absently drinking the beer while she tried to figure all this shit out.

Did she want to admit she could be feeling something? No. This was a perfect time when being an Acanthus again would come in handy. Being able to view the outcomes and pick the one that had the least amount of pain. But nooo…she had to figure this out on her own.

And tumbling tumbling, don't go fascination

Should she have just left before things got too far? But she can’t deny that it felt right. That for the moment, it was where she wanted to be.

If just for tonight darling, let's get lost
If just for tonight darling, let's get lost

But what does one do when the gates were opened and the feelings were felt? How do you just turn that off? How do you stop it before it hurts you? This was new territory for her, and it was terrifying. She wasn’t equipped to handle this, never had been.

The beer was finished, bottled rinsed and placed in the sink. Nothing was figured out except that she had work to do.

Let's Get Lost- Beck and Bat for Lashes