Starts at Home

[JC Smith]

Despite not having been to house in over a month, approaching it still felt like coming home. Still had that familiarity of sounds and smells coming off the land. Of course, that didn’t entirely soothe his anxiety or emotions. It just made it feel like entering your home knowing you were about to have a discussion with your roommates. Very heavy. Possibly an argument.

Flex, relax, feel and move the blood with purpose. Remember your ‘I’ statements. Know that it's probably not going to be as bad as you imagine, so try not to future cast all possible roads.

He could feel the spider almost laugh at the suggestion. Yeah, like that was going to happen.

JC opened the door, closing it slowly behind him.

“Dirt Nap? Quinn?” he called, taking a couple steps towards the library, his guess (if not where to find them) where they’d all be sitting down for this.

[Quinn Durant]

Quinn was in fact in the Library. She was dressed casually in a sleeveless shirt that said "Ballin" across it with 'Paris' under it, and it had a built in bronze necklace. Her hair was down and tousled. Like she hadn't bothered to fix or fuss with it at all. She wore very little makeup, looking fresh faced. A pair of blue jeans, and bare feet completed the outfit. She only wore one piece of actual jewelry, and that was on her wedding ring finger, on her left hand, it was the same ring she had wore to Formal court. The dragon ring.

She heard J.C and called out to him. "In here." She didn't raise her voice to much. He would hear her. She walked to the window and pulled the shutters open to let the moonlight filter through the pane's of glass of the old mansion. It was a moon just like this one she had made her first change to her soul. Shackled the beast. She smiled slightly at the memory.

Quinn felt ...oddly excited to see him. In truth, she had been patiently waiting for him to come home. Of course, she realized it was more Dirt Nap he was interested in seeing than her really, but the House didn't feel right to her without him there. Why is it so hard for you to admit you miss him?

[JC Smith]

JC entered the library and couldn't help but smile a little when he saw Quinn's outfit.

"Ballin, huh?" he asked, looking around the familiar room. She'd opened the window covers tonight, he noted. Reflected sunlight, dim and pale, the closest he would come to daylight ever again, but it did make the books seem... just little more magical.

"Dirt Nap didn't answer the text, but I figured...," what did he figure? he wasn't sure

"How are you?" he said pushing ahead "How are you doing with what happened in the wildlife area?" he self correct, realizing his first attempt could just be seen as being a polite greeting.

[Dirt Nap]

Dirt Nap enters. "I heard the call. What's up?" He asks amiably informal, though respectful in tone and nodding to Quinn Durant as good as a bow for the amount of respect in it. "Grand Wyrm."

Inexplicably, Dirt Nap is blushed and seems practically human in complexion and tone.

[Quinn Durant]

Quinn smiled warmly in the moments before Dirt Nap joined them. "Oh that's always been the case dahlen." She said with a roguish wink. Her bare feet made no sound over the hard wood floors, she stopped at comfortable conversational distance. Trying not to crowd him, and yet she wanted to be closer than across the room. At least at this distance she didn't need to crane her neck back to look at him. No heels made Quinn the super shorty. J.C was one of the few who saw her so casual.

She came a bit closer when J.C asked her that, her lips parting to answer as Dirt Nap breezed in, and she stopped moving closer to him, and dropped her gaze as if it was dragged to Dirt Nap. She nodded her head in response to his head bow to her. Accepting the respect and smiling gently back to her fellow Dragon. His strange heartbeat the only thing she heard for a moment, before she lowered her gaze and fought off the reaction to listening to that sound emanating from him. She controlled her thoughts, what her mind raced back too. Isn't that really a whom? J.C doesn't know either, does he? You and that cowboy are so fuuucked. One slip....that's all it would take....when the rabbit screams the fox comes runnin' but not to help.

Quinn cleared her throat slightly and made a motion to Dirt Nap. "He didn't need to respond because I did and extended the invitation. He knows to be here." She said to J.C with that same patient smile. "You will find in the Dragons the hierarchy is much stronger than the other covenants. It has to be. We obey, because if we do not, we won't survive our changes to the soul." She paused a moment and dove right in, watching J.C. "As you can see, I am well, and so is Dirt Nap. I keep listening for your pacing in this library. You and Dirt Nap returning together. Coming downstairs to the sound of your voices. I know you are angry with us, and now is the time to get it out in the open and deal with it. Like we do everything else: Together."

[JC Smith]

Dirt Nap entered and with it a flurry of thoughts and feelings. Mostly still hurt anger. JC noticed the blush and his first thought was to wonder if it was another attempt at manipulation. If Quinn was just covering for not answering the phone. And JC hated feeling like that too. However, that was the point of this, right? Try and clear the air. Get acknowledgement of his feelings. Maybe validation.

And he supposed to settle once and for all if he could find a place among the Dragons.

Just… where to start. Flex, relax, push ahead.

“What you did,” no start again “I feel what you did… asking me to keep an eye on you and make sure you weren’t alone with her, then taking Quinn out alone when you said you were having trouble… and then you act like it was all according to plan!” JC felt the anger rise, egged on by darker parts and vampiric instincts. He paused, recomposing his mind. He was here to explain. That’s what he was doing “I felt manipulated, my friendship and concern taken advantage of. More, I feel it was dangerous. What if I hadn’t followed you? If Quinn hadn’t taken the position above you? I feel like because things worked out you might think this was all okay. That you’ll do it again or something like it. I’ve seen enough addicts ‘test’ themselves again and again until ultimately they fail because they justify that they can handle being around their triggers.” The words came faster than he anticipated once he got started. He forced himself to slow down. This wasn’t about the patients he’d lost to overdoses or crimes. He needed to keep this grounded in the present circumstances. Let’s talk about the Dragon stuff for a bit to calm down. He took a seat at the library table to help in that regard as well.

“If the hierarchy is strict, I would have concerns joining in any capacity that would place me under Dirt Nap’s authority. He’s told you about his urges, right?” She had said as much at YOLO and Dirt Nap hadn’t disagreed but he wanted to clarify that point.

As far as starts it was not his best. Messy. But then these were messy emotions.

[Dirt Nap]

Dirt Nap listens to J.C. He listens to Quinn Durant too, though she isn't talking to him, at all. J.C. is doing the opposite, seeming like he's talking to Quinn Durant, but maybe really talking to Dirt Nap, or at least to Dirt Nap too, but Dirt Nap is not about to go on guesswork.

If J.C. wants to say something to him, he's going to have to come right out and do it. As it is, Dirt Nap listens, and isn't really hearing anything new. Seems like J.C. is hurt, still, over feeling used, like Dirt Nap lied to him by saying he had an addicts urge and then acting like an addict. Really, if he had it all under control, why would he have ever asked for help in the first place? J.C. must know that, on some level, but is having trouble dealing with the disappointment of having the fact demonstrated.

However things lie, Dirt Nap so far is listening to two other people talk, maybe a bit about him, but so far neither one actually to him, and that suits him just fine.

[Quinn Durant]

Quinn had hoped, well for more than this from someone she depended on so much. If he didn't care about his own family, what the fuck was she even doing here? What chance did any of this have other than to be a parade of unceasing frustration and loss? Constantly lingering in doubt, and not even able to have a reasonable conversation about it?

She had listened to every single word J.C said and she shook her head slightly, when he finally asked her that bit at the end. "He told me after I agreed to this..." She held up her hand, to the dragon ring on her finger. And that was the truth. "I was going to take all of this on based on what I wanted to learn to cope with what I am, and what I will become. To reconcile that somehow within myself, and that maybe everything I went through would have served some purpose. Rodger gave me hope at a time when I had none for myself, but now I am not the same young Kindred he preyed upon back then. I know who and what I am, and what I want. This is not it."

She looked at Dirt Nap and shook her head slowly. "You are trying to make me into something I'm not, and I won't do this anymore. There is no point to it. I renounce my place within The Ordo Dracul, and I swear I will never teach its secrets to any outside the covenant. I will count myself among the unaligned, from this night, and all nights hence. I've moved everything that matters to my private haven."

[JC Smith]

Dirt Nap said… nothing.

Used a favor to say he wanted open communication and Dirt Nap doesn’t even manage an expression of engagement. JC tried to be understanding, thinking it could be Dirt Nap felt overwhelmed by the outpouring. However, a nasty voice said Dirt Nap just didn’t care. That for all his talk about being a family, he didn’t actually want to BE part this discussion. Putting any responsibility on Quinn’s shoulders now that he’d managed to manipulate her into the leadership position.

Which Quinn was apparently not having, either. He wasn’t sure who Rodger was but it did not seem like a good comparison. Her declaration of leaving the Dragons (indeed all covenants) almost felt like it was somehow JC's fault but the feeling faded and gave away to sadness that he couldn't argue with it.

JC actively fought the instinct to cross his arms.

“Well?” he asked Dirt Nap. Part of him wondered if Dirt Nap would just shut down more. Part of him didn’t care. He wanted answers. Or acknowledgement at the very least. He wanted to believe Dirt Nap was the kind and wise man he’d met his first nights in Sacramento.

[Dirt Nap]

Dirt Nap is silent. For an extended period, not breathing.

Then he takes a breath. Looking at J.C., he says, "J.C. I have nothing but good towards you, but I am not the mind reader here. You say you want to talk, but you seem to feel I should know what the hell you want from me without you having to tell me. I don't, and I am not going to go soft on it any more. I am always listening to what you have to say, and if you don't say it directly to me, I am not hearing it."

He looks at them both.

"Well now. Since it seems I am the only Dragon here, now, and the one responsible for the Covenant heareabouts to boot, I am going to ask you both to get out, and get off Covenant property right now. For the record, Priscus Durant I recognize and acknowledge your renouncing your office and place in the Ordo Dracul, and for the record, J.C. I am officially renouncing the guest priviledges that Grand Wyrm Horatio extended to you quite a while back for the purpose of you thinking on his offer to join up."

"Take whatever's yours, but be out before next sunrise, sooner, please if you can manage." Dirt Nap says in a flat, level voice.

"This Chapter House is for actual Dragons, neither of which is you."

He's quiet for a moment and says, "I have no doubt there is plenty we still can talk about, if either of you have a mind to ever clue me in and stop expecting me to play guessing games with you, but it's not Dragon business, and that's what this place is for, and nothing else. I am willing to talk anywhere else any other time you all feel up to it."

"Call me."