Homefires still Burning

[Quinn Durant]

Quinn had rushed back to the chapter house in hopes of catching Dirt Nap, but it was nothing but silence. Empty. It felt empty. Empty without him there. Empty without her mentor. Empty empty empty. She felt like a ghost haunting these rooms. One was the lonliest number. Dirt Nap would probably see no problem with that though. For Quinn it was an odd sensation.

The emotions that swirled through her made her uncomfortable in her own skin. Strong emotions and Kindred were never a good thing. She found herself walking aimlessly through the house. Memories invading the landscape of her mind like all those happy trees in a Bob Ross painting. She found herself in Dirt Nap's room. Not that anything was in there. It wasn't. Other than the desk and chair. She pulled out the chair and sat down, at first naturally, and then she stood and straddled the chair, and put her chin on her arms of the back of it.

No note. No further instruction from some Ordo Dracul missive. Just nothing.

[JC Smith]

JC walked slowly through the house, eyes and ears alert for any change since they'd last been here. Footprints, slightly moved furniture, the sounds of animals scared by a predator. Some indication that Dirt Nap had come through recently. Left something hidden for them to find. However, like Quinn, there was nothing he found on his self guided tour through the House. Foyer, kitchen, library, JC's own room. All the same as he remembered except for the presence of the man that had brought him here.

Until he reached Dirt Nap's room.

"Anything?" he asked softly but he was pretty sure he knew the answer, even if he had left the basement alone for privacy's sake. The part of him that hated her was still there, still wanted to kill her. It tried to make him find a way to blame her for this. Somehow make it her fault. Yet even the influence of the beast couldn't manage to accuse Quinn for something that had obviously been a blow to her as well.

"You want to talk about it?" he added gently.

[Quinn Durant]

Quinn's eyes rolled up, looking at JC, and she slowly raised her chin from her arms to shake her head to his question. Hope was a fragile thing. When the last shreds of it have blown away, nothing much was left. Just like this empty room.

"I don't know what to say. This is the second mentor I have lost. It is not uncommon for the Dragons leadership to shuffle people around. From the way it sounded in the office, it sounds like unfinished business. Even modest investigations last a few months to a year. I just...." She let out an uneeded breath.

"He didn't even get to see the final result of all the work we've been doing. I wish he could have at least been there for that. " She paused. "I guess that begs the question then...." She paused and finally stood, pushing in the desk chair, just so, turned away from him for a moment. She gathered herself some. Pulling together her composure.

"I know Dirt Nap was important to both of us. I know now that he's not here, you may be concerned over our shared living situation. If that thought has crossed your mind, let me ease it. You are welcome here, and not just because its what Dirt Nap would have wanted. I don't particularly relish the fact of walking these halls by myself. It's to large a place for that. The Chapter House was meant for close quarters with fellow Dragons. It is at its most basic a communal haven. At least with you here, it is fulfilling one of its functions."

[JC Smith]

The eye roll brought up two main emotions. As always, ,there was the beast. It was still there, waiting for a chance to bend its rage into a shape that would finally make him act on the rage. The eye roll was dismissive. An insult. It always would be to that part of him.

At the same time, other parts saw better. She as frustrated. Hurting. He was just the closest target.

He nodded a bit. Of course she didn’t know what to say. People had a hard enough time expressing emotion without living in a society of Kindred ready to pounce at every word out of place.

“That’s hard,” he agreed. Dirt Nap was probably the closest to some kind of mentor figure he’d found in his unlife so far and it “Hurts when you lose people. Especially when you weren’t expecting it.”

“I don’t understand that as much but I’m sorry,” he said softly when it came to her actually learning Order abilities “However, Dirt Nap explained to me how important such changes are. How much they risk,” he hesitated a bit “Death, losing yourself. It’s a big thing to do by yourself.”

JC’s dead eyes met hers when she brought up Dirt Nap’s place in each of their lives. They glanced away when she brought up the living arrangements. Knowing her offer to let him stay was probably rooted in that deepest of Kindred feelings that persisted in those still close to their humanity. Loneliness.

Without Dirt Nap, JC felt it now too more than ever.

At the same time, he was trying to live without lies he reminded himself. “Just so you know, I do have my own haven. Dirt Nap talked about me reassessing my staying once I’d gotten off my feet. My own haven, learning to sleep in soil for emergencies. I never got the chance to let him know I’d mastered it.” How strange it was he now missed that conversation that might have meant him leaving the House “The offer was only extended by the head of the Dragons before him.” He didn’t want her to feel obligated “But… I would like to stay.” Better house. Better company. And better for keeping connected in a small way.

[Quinn Durant]

Quinn couldn't quite force a smile to come to the surface. There was nothing happy or pleasant about the sudden departure of someone that had meant a lot to both of them. She chewed her lower lip slightly. Or tried too. I mean, her lips were perfectly smooth now. No longer did she have things like loose skin on her lips. It was a hold over from when she needed air to breath, water to drink, and sunlight on her skin. When she lived in the light.

She nodded to his assessment of going through the Coils alone. "It is extremely dangerous without a mentor as well. You can think you are prepared for something, but having someone who has already gone before you down the path you seek helps to mitigate those dangers." She shook her head. "It's like when you try to make changes to the very fabric of your being, the magic that holds the very threads of your soul to your physical being can be undone if you do something incorrectly." She wasn't sure why she told him all of that. She wasn't even sure if he wanted to hear any of that.

"I have a separate place as well that I maintain. It's not much though. I wouldn't call it much of a space for the living, but when you need a light tight place to crash, having a panic room type place is great." She paused and shook her head a little. "I have told Dirt Nap how much I envy the sleeping in the ground bit. Every Kindred's greatest fear is the sun, and getting caught out with dawn breaking is the shit of nightmares. Though, from what I have seen of your clan, which I admit hasn't been extensive, it comes with a price tag. That's actually something our clans have in common. Our abilities cost us." She paused a moment and stood, feeling strange to be sitting while he was standing.

"I want you to stay, JC. Now more than ever I think its a good thing we have a place to share. Considering it looks like it will be you and I spearheading the investigation." She moved over to him, a bit closer, but she kept a comfortable space. Crowding J.C seemed like a bad idea. "I'm not sure what all of your skills are, but you at least know some of mine. I think we can do this."

[JC Smith]

“Look,” he said look down momentarily at his hands “I know there’s not much I can do to help. I don’t know exactly what you’re going through… And I doubt the Order would see you telling me as a good thing,” The wrong thing said might get them both killed. “But I’ve worked with people going through difficult life changes…. I’m pretty good at listening. Even if consists of mostly cuss words.” And it was normally easier than listening to his own inner voice complaining.

“I’d never really considered it,” he answered honestly when she spoke of costs. Yes, he knew all to well how delving into the primordial mind changed you. The constant range he felt now, was proof enough of that. Yet, at the same time, he chose to feel this way. “I can’t imagine what it takes to touch another’s mind,” as opposed to the inner mind “But if it is similar… try to focus on the good instead of the bad… It’s what I try to do.” A sad smile “Not always well.”

As she came closer, the beast again tried to come forward. Convince him she was going to attack. That it was a feint. If not her movements then at least her words. She didn’t care about the investigation. She wanted to know his skills. How he could hurt her. What she could use him for.

It was paranoia. He knew that. JC just wished he could dismiss it easily.

“I can’t teach you how. Not some of it anyway. But if you’d like to know my skills, I can tell you. Show you even.” A part of him cringed at his phrasing but JC stood steady by the words.

[Quinn Durant]

Quinn smiled ever so slightly at that. He wasn't trying to cheer her up, but managed it anyway. How strange this music was. Yet, not so strange maybe. Was he not the Guest of her Covenant. Of course. And she was sticking to that excuse for all it was worth if anything should come down from on high to challenge their cozy living arrangements.

"I don't stress tradition much, unless its Kindred law. That is inviolate, but everything else, that's for you and I to figure out really. There isn't any worry that you will discover Covenant secrets. You would need me to do a lot more than share my fears with you."
She tilted her face to the side when he said he was a good listener. Her wide hazel eyes searched his own, having to tilt her chin back to properly look him in the face. Her petite stature was what it was. "I don't doubt your listening abilities. Speaking of....this is our shared haven. I want you to be comfortable here, to thrive here. If you need anything, please let me know." She tipped her hand slightly with that. It was why she had bought him clothing. He was the guest of the Ordo Dracul, if he was seen thriving, the Covenant might not look so creepy from the outside.

"That's not the price I am paying for my power. I wasn't misrepresenting myself when I said I was psychic in Court in the first nights I was socializing in the Nox. It's true I control who's mind I go into....yet..." She licked her lips nervously, and swallowed hard. "I will be a lightning rod for Psychic energy. I can get visions that completely take over every sense I have. I cannot be forced like a puppet to act, but I can be psychically assaulted. I get strange feelings sometimes in certain places where intense things have happened. Where psychic impressions were left behind and the echo can still be felt by those sensitive enough to pick up such things. The more powerful I become, the greater and more frequent these intrusions also become." Like so much of Kindred existence its a double edged sword. Showing a bit of her own vulnerability and struggle. She realized he could use this against her, but she did it anyway.

Quinn blinked a bit at that last bit. "I am very interested to understand how your skills pertain to this investigation, or perhaps even future ones. If we can work well together, and present a formidable investigating unit together, perhaps....you and I could co-Reeve? The Domain needs this position filled. If this Jackal is any indication, things are heating up as they say."

It came off more formal and cold than she wanted. So she elaborated further, with a hand coming up to rub the back of her neck for a second. "Show me how? Remember I'm a Telepath. Showing me....is a world of possibilities when you add in that factor."

Dirt nap trusted him. She had to put some cards down on the table. They had to figure each other out. Start building a foundation of trust. It was hard to do being Kindred. They just suffered an emotional blow as well and were in their feelings. This was dangerous and uncharted waters. Could she afford this transparency? She wasn't sure.

[JC Smith]

He gave a slight chuckle. He didn’t quite believe her. She and he weren’t the only ones interested in keeping secrets after all. Who knew if a powerful fanatic wouldn’t come to the domain and decide his staying in the House was a violation. The Prince herself had forbidden the teaching of Gangrel secrets. Still in the safety of the House, if was comforting to trust someone else, for at least a few seconds.

“Is there anything I can do to help with keeping it maintained?” JC knew that havens didn’t keep themselves. Again, while it was odd to help the Order keep its location, at present there was (to his knowledge) only Quinn actively involved in the covenant. Making her defacto leader and able to back up her statement of what she said goes (at least in the Order).

He listened as she described her cost. Much differently than he thought. However, not entirely foreign either.

“It sounds like being triggered. I’ve worked with people that experience PTSD, losing themselves in memories and even hallucinations. Or those with trauma being hypersensitive to stimuli and emotions. I’m sure it’s not the same but I know it’s difficult to live like that.” And unfortunately, most advise he could offer didn’t cover physic visions. “Would you be interested in some reading recommendations? Like I said, it’s not the same but you might find something that could work for you.”

Her next words (and offer) surprised him “Co-reeve?” He didn’t sound sure. Moreover, he’ wasn’t sure how to respond. Seconds passed.

“I’m not sure how that would work.” If it would work “I’ll be honest, you seem much better suited for the position. By the time we talked you seemed to have found out much more than I did.” A curious look crossed his face “Are you worried about things heating up?”

Maybe it was the beast’s influence, but the first thought was that if she was the brains, he’d be the brawn. Second, that maybe Dirt Nap had let her know something. Had he left to get out ahead of some threat?

[Quinn Durant]

Quinn grinned a little at his initial question. "Oh my god. I have a list longer than my arm of ideas for improvements. Dirt Nap didn't have much in financial means, but given that I do, I cannot shirk the responsibility of bringing things up to code and date. I want to start with the grounds first. I invited Mable to the Chapter house to teach me how to plant and landscape the area properly. That seems like something I could do with my own two hands, you know? I am not a construction worker, so that will have to be worked out with a Foreman." She paused a second. "Unless by some miracle you moonlighted as a carpenter?" The idea seemed so ridiculous she actually giggled aloud.

Her expression warmed some at his suggestion of looking to some psychology information to learn how to better control or deal with such intrusions. It wasn't a bad idea. She liked the suggestion very very much. It made sense. Sometimes the simple solutions end up netting the most results. It was easy to discount the mundane when it came to uniquely Kindred issues. Perhaps focusing on those mundane things could indeed be the very undoing of some of the power of psychic intrusion? Was worth looking into. "That is a very wise suggestion, and I would be stupid not to take you up on it. Thank you for reacting with prudence rather than fear. Usually when I talk about things like that, the powers of my blood, the reaction is fear, anger, or practically salivating over the idea of using me to their own ends." She was thankful he hadn't run for the hills yet. I mean, who wants to haven share with the resident Mind reader? Apparently JC had the balls for it. She could appreciate that.

She winced a little at his dubiousness for both of them co-opting the role. "But don't you see its the fact that neither of us really wants it or see's ourselves in that role that makes us perfect to take it over." She paused a second. "Just like how Dirt Nap didn't really want the power of it, but decided to step up to the role to be helpful. This has fallen in our laps, and we are stepping up to the plate, should it really only be for once instance?" She looked down at her hands and back up to him. "No hard and fast decisions here and now, but I really think the way things are going, it has merit. Neither one of us are really enough for the role on our own, but together I think we would be a force to be reckoned with."

"I do think things are heating up. I don't think this is even close to the end of our cities problems. We may not have the same level of incursion as other larger cities, but the seat of Government power is located in Sacramento for California. This city will always be interesting annd..." She hesitated, seeming to weight her words worth vs, saying it out loud and pissing him off. "The fact that our Prince is Gangrel, will not sit well with some totally classist pieces of shit who feel ruling over the Kindred should fall to other hands." It was as delicate as she could put it. She tried to make sure he could understand from her wording that she didn't hold those views, but was well aware that they exist.

[JC Smith]

“No, never been a carpenter,” JC admitted with a chuckle. Though she hadn’t actually said whether she needed it maintained. “But never been a better time to pick up a new hobby.” He didn’t want her to feel pressured, so he just made sure she knew support was there.

He seemed a little surprised at her praise. He supposed there could be reason to react with fear, anger, or covetousness. Maybe, it was that he saw it first through the lens he had. Even if things like PTSD put you at risk of violent outbursts, it wasn’t something you feared (and definitely not exploited). You worked to understand it, help the other person understand it, and establish boundaries to protect you both. Which, he supposed, in a strange way, meant he at the very least trusted Quinn not to reach into his mind. Despite the Beast’s persuasive whisper saying he should

“I’ll see what I can find as far as literature,” he said.

JC wasn’t sure he followed the logic that because they both didn’t see themselves fitting the role meant they’d be good at it together. However, speaking about Dirt Nap did remind Smith of seeing his fellow Gangrel in an admirable light when stepping up. At the same time, politics was not something he enjoyed, much less law enforcement. Though in this case, Kine government didn’t map very to its Kindred counterpart. Yet, there was a part that found the idea interesting and reminded him that taking chances and being vulnerable led to a fuller life.

“I’ll think about it,” was the best he could do right now without igniting a flood of anxiety. Especially since she again brought up how much politics suffused Sacramento.

He actually smiled at the suggestion of someone trying to dethrone Alessandra “I think anyone coming in with those ideas would be hard pressed to see what a bad idea that would be.” Mostly because they likely wouldn’t see how things were clearly.