Coffee and Conversation

[James Turner]

He brought his hand up, brushing hair away from her face as his thumb came up to wipe at her tear stained cheeks. Offering her a soft, sad smile as he looked right into her eyes as she spilled her fears to him. His heart skipping a beat as she echoed his internal thoughts once more which just got him to keep smiling. His own cheeks burning their dark charcoal grey along with hers. He sighed out and pressed his lips to hers ago, trying to show her that it wasn’t a dream. A soft, sweet thing before he pulled away just inches from her. His forehead resting on her own.

“If it is, I’d rather not wake up. It’d be the first good dream I’ve had in years.” He didn’t know if those fears would ever go away. There was always something new to fear, something new to lose. He’d never done this before; this was a dance he was going to have to learn from the beginning. He gave another sigh and pushed his lips to her forehead, continuing to sway with her. “It does feel like a dream though.”

Like that she song ended, fading away to the background as another started but he couldn’t be bothered with it. Could barely hear it through the beating of his heart, through the intensity of the moment. There was just the two of them standing close to each other and he couldn’t say he wanted anything else in the world. There was still so much to say, so much to do, but none of that seemed to matter at all. He left those thoughts discarded and forgotten for her presence. A bright smile on his face as he looked at her.

[Cassandra Reeding]

There is a warm, fuzzy haze to it all. The dancing, the gentle kisses, living and breathing together as if there was nothing else at all that mattered. Nothing else did matter. Not right now. Not with the way he smiles and gazes at her still. Song after song seems to slip by and the music is there, but just barely. You. Just you. She doesn't know that she'll ever be able to stop hearing those words. Words that make her feel like she's walking on air. Words spoken in just the right way that she couldn't doubt them.

It's difficult not to kiss him while he smiles at her like that, looks at her like that. It is like the beginning of a reflex. And it felt so correct. She can't help but lean in, closing the gap to feel his cool lips against hers once more. Each time thinking, Just one more. One more is never enough. The haze continues, but her thoughts begin trickling forward. Tonight. She's staying tonight. So, what does that mean? Her mind chooses to focus on falling asleep in his arms. Not sleeping alone. Not waking up to nightmares alone. Those thoughts bring just another bubbling joy to her. Then her mind begins wandering and anxiety begins to bubble.

Her mind darts off to a completely different train of thought and she asks suddenly, "Do you like cats?" It was random. Almost. This is a man she isn't planning on letting go of for a very, very long time. But she has plans to adopt a cat. He needs to like cats. Her mind can focus on this instead of... Just focus on this. Dancing, relaxing, and now... cats.

[James Turner]

There was happiness and sorrow in equal measure between the two of them. His thoughts drifting off to why couldn’t it always be like this, why can’t every moment of his life be this light, this free. He didn’t want it to stop, not for a second. He started remembering the past, wondering what he did so wrong that this is the first time in his life he ever felt this way. Every decision had led him to here and now, for better and for worse. It was bittersweet he had his keeper to thank for this moment, to have made him what he was.

James didn’t stop, not for a moment. It felt too right, if he let her go, she might just slip away and disappear forever. Those thoughts interrupted by a kiss, another spark of brightness to disperse those dark thoughts. He smiled at her after every one and squeezed her tightly, tears threatening to spill once more.

He didn’t feel invisible for once, she looked at him, she looked into his eyes and there wasn’t any fear there, no pity, no sorrow, just…love. He thinks. Is that what love is, is this what it’s like? I don’t know, how was I supposed to know, supposed to learn? By falling James. Then her words interrupted that thought and his face scrunched up in visible confusion. “I, uh, haven’t really given animals any thought. I don’t mind them?” It was the best answer he could come up with.

He blushed again and scratched the back of his head. “Um, do you want to stay for dinner? I don’t have much but maybe we could order something? There's still so much to talk about." He said with a smile, a smile to reassure her that the other shoe wasn’t dropping, another kiss to reinforce that fact. If he could have it his way she’d never feel sad again, let that be his burden.

[Cassandra Reeding]

She blushes immediately, the awkwardness of her question and then relief of his. Your brain needs to calm down. Breathe. I don't know how to breathe right now. Everything is hazy. And it was.

She doesn't remember this part. How to walk through the beginning. Slow. Slow. Slow. She's only experienced this once before and this was not that. This was pure and perfect and that was... not. Not that it wasn't similarly a dream. Not that she wasn't in love the moment she realized she could feel again. Not that she didn't want forever with him. But he destroyed it. He destroyed it and the dreams along with it. He destroyed it and the life she worked so hard to build. So much so that she gave away many of the memories along with it. His voice had lingered for so long and now she felt free. She felt like she could breathe again.

And now she needs to remember how not to dive too quick. She'll likely always be ready a step ahead of him, but that's fine. His kiss brought her back to reality, a sweet reality. Reality wasn't supposed to be this wonderful. Stay. Just stay this way. For a moment, everything was fuzzy again. And then she remembered that she asked a question and so did he. "Yes-yes. Sorry. Uh. Brain." she is stumbling over words and chuckling. "We could order in something, makes it easy. Though you know I never mind throwing something together." She kisses him again and sighs.

"Uh, question before. Probably adopting a cat. Just... wanted to make sure you weren't surprised by it." And she blushes. She can't remember the last time she truly blushed like this in such a sweet manner.

[James Turner]

It was like swimming, that strange weightlessness when you're in water. Just floating. Today might be the first time he could say he understood the Spring Court. Why people would choose to push for this. It was such a tempting lure. Could get lost in it, lose yourself in it. There was danger there too. That's about when the terror returned.


He laughed along with her, understanding perfectly what she'd meant. His was as much of a mess as it's ever been. Then he laughed again when she boasted about whipping something up, it was a deep laugh too, having to bend over to let it out for a second. "If you call putting hot dogs in mac and cheese whipping something up then yes, I don't have a lot of food in house. My diet's mostly day old donuts, coffee, and cigarettes. How I keep so thin." He joked dryly knowing full well its because he was slowly losing his corporeal body again.


"So, what do you want to order? How about this, I'll give you my phone and it can be a surprise and my treat." That was probably his spending money for the week but it was worth it. He'd just have to cut back on his smoking that was all. "Uh, yea. That's good." Taken off guard by the statement and failing to find the words.


The tension seemed to ease to him or he was growing more comfortable with the confusion he was swimming in. His heart was still racing, hands slowly shaking, he wasn't sure which it was yet. Slowly moving back over to the couch, taking his phone off the aux chord suddenly plunging the room into silence. The only thing he could hear was the hammering of his heart and the rush of blood in his veins.


He opened up the app and handed it to her as he went to swap the records. Now getting lost in what to pick. We'd met and there'd been The Cure, can't do that, just did the Smiths. Has to be new, little dark, little romantic. You got this. Wait. No. Not too corny. Alright, Ok that's adequate. Then the silence was broken as the needle dropped.

[Cassandra Reeding]

She shakes her head as she watches him bend over, laughing, but she loved it. If she had it her way, there would never be anymore sad tears, only happy ones and laughter. "Hey. You have no idea what I can Macgyver up." She sticks out her tongue at him, but then she can't help but laugh. "It also sounds like you better watch out, because I cook. A lot. It's compulsive. If you go hungry, I will be offended." It was true. Sometimes she just cooked to pass the time, ending up bringing dinner to the orchestra or donating to the local shelters. She used to have people to cook for.

Little memories of dinners with her motley. Loud debates across the table. Cassandra just rolling her eyes for most of it, chiming in when their arguments were absolutely terrible. If you are going to debate, at least debate well. It made her smile thinking about it. Is that something she'll have again?

As he handed her his phone, she knew exactly what she was ordering. She hadn't had Chinese in a hot minute. Then she realized... this is exactly her picture of a perfect date. Takeout at home together, talking and enjoying each others company. Maybe curling up and watching something. She'd pictured it before with him, just simple daydreamings. Things she never expected to happen. Then tears were welling up in her eyes again and she had to take a deep breath while she navigated through his phone to set up an order.

She realized that she had no idea what he liked food-wise, but he wanted surprise. So she went with her usual order, just sesame chicken, fried rice, and some dumplings. Something simple to share. Order time estimated about 25-50 minutes... because of course it did. And then the silence was broken by the music. She knew this one.

She walked back over, handing John his phone, smiling hazily up at him, "If I didn't know better, I'd think you have a romance playlist at the forefront of your head? I don't think I could even tell you my favorite song right now." Maybe it was the music, but just looking at him right now made her knees weak. Hold me. Kiss me. Never let go. I'll give myself to you. Should be careful with words. Should always be careful with words. One day the Wyrd will hold her to them without her realization.

"Now, my love-" Oh, god, it just flew out like it was nothing. As if she said it all the time. She hadn't-but it-just a term of-fuck. Play it cool. "Are we dancing? Sitting and vibing?" She tried not to waver, but there was the tiniest hint of panic in her eyes and a deeper blush in her cheeks. Crap.

[James Turner]

He smirked at her confident boasting but was happy she took the phone. He hadn't been joking about how little food he had in house, he didn't have a reason to stockpile as he didn't do much cooking. "That's fine, I can nibble." He wasn't usually a big eater except on special occasions like when they got together for movies. Everyday is a special occasion. One thing at a time James.


Life kept pumping back into him slowly but surely, his steps a little more sure his body a little more solid. He let the record play and she commented on the song. He made a fake shocked face. "This is a record, can't mixtape a record. Did I put thought into it, of course. Music is always on my mind, sure you of all people understand that." He smiled and set the phone on the coffee table away from the coffee and ashtray.


"I couldn't tell you mine either, too many." He smiled and then she uttered those words and he choked. Coughing heavily as he cleared his throat, he shook his head, face a deep grey. Her question was answered when he moved to the futon to take a seat, eyes flicking over the cigarettes and then back to her, focusing on her.


This is something he had imagined before, sitting down relaxing with a loved one in your arms just enjoying each others company and the music. That was something he imagined a long, long time ago now. A dream so old it had sat discarded and forgotten. His heart ached in the most wonderful way.

[Cassandra Reeding]

The way he coughed hearing her say it only made the blush grow deeper. Then weird senses of doubt trickled into her head. Does he really like you, or does he just like you because you showed him your heart? Only noticing his feelings today. Only accepting your feelings becau- SHUT UP. She lets out a slow breath. No. Doubt isn't going to get her today. Today is for them. Today is for building a foundation, living in the moment. It is okay to love in whatever way it is. There are levels. Always levels. Her feelings won't be the same as they are today, tomorrow, or a week, or a month, or a year from now.

She walks over and sits down next to him, relaxation slowly starting to find her again. It was odd for a moment, sitting down in the spot where everything exploded, where everything happened. Like a permanent memory now, attached here. She'd think about those memories, the kiss, the sobs every time. Then something amusing occurred to her. So, I guess this futon is going to be around for a hot minute.

She smiles up at him then, reaching out for him, wanting to be held again. Held again. She never thought she would be held again. "Half of my favorite songs have titles too long to honestly memorize. And you can't even look them up with lyrics. Like googling 'there was a really good bit with the flute'." She chuckles, bringing a little more lightness back. "Huh. No one ever tried a mixed tape. It probably wouldn't have worked, but it would have been better than awkward notes left in my locker." She thought out loud. It wasn't like there weren't people who wanted to date her in middle and high school. She just wasn't interested in anyone. If it weren't for her Keeper, would she be asexual? Is that something he changed? Another one of those weird thoughts to push out of her mind. She didn't want to focus on that, she wanted to focus on John. Focus on John and the music and just coexist in the best way. It made her chest tight with joy.

[James Turner]

He didn't even hesitate for a moment, as soon as she sat down and shifted her wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him. Holding her tighter, resting his head on her shoulder as each chord danced through the air in its haunting melody. Just breathing, feeling her heart beat against his chest, feeling the rise and fall of her chest, the warmth of her body.


He let out a long sigh and she spoke, he opened one eye to peak at her. "That's fair, that flute bit sounds familiar." His eye narrowing as he tried to remember where he'd heard it before but came up blank, bit of trivia drifting by the wayside. Though when she continued his mask began reasserting itself, feeling his blood run cold as he started feeling himself fade away again, back to invisibility.


He just held her tighter and took in a deep breath. He didn't want to go back to those memories, those times. He just wanted to be here, now. He pushed himself back into the present moment and pushed those feelings back down for now. He was the one that said they had so much to talk about and here he was unable to speak. "What now?" He whispered, hint of fear on those words he let slip loose. He wasn't really sure what happened next.

[Cassandra Reeding]

It was an immediate relief, being in his arms. She closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of him, taking in the feeling of his heart beating just a little quicker than her own. She could feel him tense for a moment and she just tried to pressed a little more into him, holding him as much as he was holding her. Even with how tightly they held each other, she felt like jelly in his arms. And it wasn't long before he spoke, but genuinely, she could have fallen asleep like this. She didn't need anything else. Just this.

What now? That's a loaded question. Hold each other while until food? Or, are we dating or jumping to titles? Boyfriend... that's a weird term to her mind. At the same time, it gave her that sensation of butterflies in her stomach. And what would they do with that? What would they be to everyone else? Would they be more private, more secretive? Or did it matter? Or... too much. Breathe.

She takes a breath and slowly lets it out before saying in a very soft voice, "Well, we hold each other, convince the other that this is real until the food gets here, and then we breathe a moment while we eat so we can come down off of this incredible high. Because, at the moment, I think I could forget my own name when I'm in your arms." And she wasn't kidding.