Coffee and Conversation

[James Turner]

He was still filled with that strange, nervous electricity his stomach still light and filled with butterfly’s even after it was filled with food. But he’d recovered a bit, more energy in him, more life in his eyes. He still needed time to pick up the pieces, but he wasn’t entirely broken anymore. Laughing and shaking his head at her statement. “At least a bit, we could come up with a signal or phrase that’s secretly a term of endearment?” something that let them express themselves in secret so that it didn’t overflow and spill out in front of everyone. That’s a shame, and it was. “I wouldn’t go that far. We could always find somewhere to sneak away to.” He laughed, one so loud he had to close his mouth to stifle it. Setting his food down and cupping his hand over his mouth until the laugh became manageable.

“Sorry.” Said with no hint of sadness at all. He was finished eating, still plenty of leftovers to eat, offering to store hers in the fridge and get drinks while he was up. He’d only stepped out to the other room, but he couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder into the living room and wonder if she’d be there when he got back. He’d come back with the drinks and leave them on the table, grabbing his phone while he was there. Relief in his body when she had in fact not disappeared on him.

He pulled the cable over to the couch and plugged in his phone, starting in on more music as the conversation turned more formal. He rests his head on her shoulder, eyes on the documentary about the ocean judging by the volume of underwater footage. He listened intently; this was going to be a nice way to get news, even bad news. “Wouldn’t be surprised if it’s lost due to the broken cycle. We might have to compile our own. If we need to map trods we can go on more patrols with the Freehold for safety. Dream Lore Rhodes might know personally if not I’m a quick learner in that regard. We’ll find something or we’ll create it for ourselves, we’ve managed so far.” He reached his hand down and held onto hers again as they sat there, taking today for what it was.

He blushed again, awkward was a good way to put it. But it’d been worth it. “If you, uh, still need someone to keep an eye on your dreams I can still do that.” Though given time together he imagined a more serious pledge might eventually happen. Eventually. He wasn’t familiar here so he was trying to take his time and not misstep.

[Cassandra Reeding]

And then her mind snuck away to ideas of those potential moments. Stolen glances and secret kisses. She wants to be able to express it publicly one day, but the excitement of keeping secrets was at times a little more fun. How many different ways could she get him out of public for a quick minute? How much of a poker face could she keep? Well, perhaps it was a good thing no one else could read her like he could.

Mind beginning to get carried away, she blushes and focuses on his laughter instead. His beautiful laughter, not sorrow filled sobs like they'd shared the first night they'd really spoke. Perhaps that should have been a sign then. Maybe it was, starting with that disappointment of losing privacy the moment Gerrit arrived. Had she really had something spark that early, burn so slowly?

She just shakes her head at him when he utters his 'apology' that clearly was not. She hadn't wanted it to be anyway. He leaves her side for a moment, putting away food and grabbing them drinks, giving her mind another moment to wander on possibilities. Future dates, things she might text him in code later. Weird things she felt no right to think about before tonight. She won't get over that any time soon.

Leaning into him as the music played and he responded, her head resting against his, she closes her eyes for a moment. She was focused on his words, but she was also taking in the moment all at once. The choice of song could have made her blush, but it just felt correct. "It is possible. Just, I remember rumors of an Onyx mirror at one point when I was apprentice under my last Thane. She was so secretive, for good reason. But you're right, we can build it from scratch. I am going on those patrols, as much as I hate it. I should take note while I'm out there. So much to do, always so little time." She lets out a sweet sigh as he takes her hand, touch from him becoming more and more normalized. No surprise, just comfort.

And then he speaks of dreams causing her to tense a little. She's been so afraid of whatever he may find there, good or bad. At the same time, it would keep her safe, them safe. Slowly, she nodded a little, "I do. And I've been meaning to ask since the first patrol. I got stung by insects with a poison that put me to sleep. I had flashes of my Keeper... lots of other blips of memories too. I feel that unless something is laying very dormant, I am not dream poisoned. I know that that feels like. But still, if..." she hadn't realized her heart was beginning to race a little, not in a bad way though. Pledges. Words spoken and bound by the Wyrd with him. Dreams weren't anything too crazy. Simple. Can be short periods anyway. "I'd like you to. Watch them, I mean."

[James Turner]

He wished he didn't have to hide it but the Ice Law demanded. Wish? You have the power, you dictate the rules. Let Every Court Know It's Function James, and most of all Prepare Your Farewells. The Ice Law was an anchor, a barrier, it brought order to chaos. No other Court could appreciate the sacrifice Winter made to maintain stability. But the Cycle demands and the Cycle protects, so sacrifices were made and that was fine when it was his to make. But now it was theirs and he couldn't make that sacrifice on her behalf. And in the end, if there was a price it was theirs to pay and he could take her share.


He listened as she spoke of experience of well kept and less well kept secrets. He didn't say anything to argue one way or another. Besides he didn't disagree with her, one step at a time building the foundation at the start. "I don't mind it, the hedge is dangerous yes but there's beauty in that danger. Like Jungles, filled with mystery and wonder but also deadly danger." He spoke almost wistfully. If it wasn't for the hedge he wouldn't be free, the hedge had allowed him to escape."But, uh, you see how I pack." He wasn't super survivalist crazy he only carried about 2 days worth of supplies on him if he was rationing.

He wished she'd come to him sooner with that issue and even without a pledge he could have scanned her dreams for the poison. But would that have revealed the truth to you sooner? What would you have done? Images of John Hughes movies flash before his eyes and he nods. Breakfast Club? Breakfast Club. This is more like Claire and Allison getting together though. Bender would be a Summer.


It was an intimate thing so he could understand the hesitation. He nodded, they could make that pledge today. "Look at it this way, I'll just go to bed a little early and keep you company." Definitely Breakfast Club. He sat like that for a long moment, enjoying the silence of it, except for the music but it wasn't even registering to him at the moment. It was just her and him on the couch, sitting peacefully as time whisked away.


He took a deep breath and blinked. "Hey, uh, I want to tell you something. I haven't told anyone this before so bear with me I have a lot to unpack. When I first got out it was hard, you know. It's decades past when you left, you find out life went on without you like you're life was insignificant. It's a strange new world and you don't know what to do in it. Well Seattle has you work the goblin grove as a new arrival. You get 3 hots and a cot out of it but it's still kind of forced labor. Most of the Freehold works it off and on, it's a major industry out there mostly the goblin coffee beans. Hobs out there love it, makes trading easier.


" Anyway, uh, back on point. I was Courtless at the time, Courts tried to scalp whoever they could but no one had ever really approached me. I'd been more alone than I had ever been before. And I just couldn't take anymore. I figured if this was it...well, I uh, took a lot of pills..." Tears slowly fell down his cheeks again, his breath catching again. "Well, Eugenia found me and forced me to vomit. I just ended up crying in her arms for hours. I was so mad at her..." He sobbed a little, wiping off this wave with the back of his hand.


"But she understood, she'd been there before. She was a grief counselor in the Winter Court. She's, uh, why I am who I am now. She saved me, she's why I do what I do. But I was never really alive. I was just a ghost who wasn't dead yet. I was just looking to do as much good as I could do. So that my death would mean something, that someone, anyone might remember me for once.


"And I understand now. I understand why she saved me, why I had to suffer through it. So I could have this right here, right now, with you."

[Cassandra Reeding]

A pledge to keep her company in her dreams, making sure she's safe. It was a nice feeling as well as a terrifying one. It shouldn't be, but it is. She's never dreamt of things she'd done before, but what if? What if he sees something that- no. Stop it. She takes a slow breath and nods, "That would be nice. Keep us closer a little longer in sleep." Can't we just fall asleep here? Just like this? I'd be happy if I never moved from this spot. This would be nice, but she can't be greedy.

When he tells her that he wants to talk about something, she turns to look at him fully, eyes filled with a hint of concern. And then he tells his story. The beginning she understood. She'd been there in a similar spot, but Seattle was a far different place than Baltimore. He goes on and then she realizes where this is going. Hher heart just drops, her hand coming up to her mouth as her eyes grow misty in a sorrowful haze. All she wants to do is wrap him in her arms immediately, but he needs to finish. She needs to allow him that.

She'd seen suicide attempts amongst the Lost. She'd seen a lot of them with Triss as a mentor to early escaped Lost. There were more than a few times she'd considered it in the beginning. But she had people the moment she got out. She was taken in, whether she liked it or not. John had no one. Absolutely no one. Then he had gotten to that point. So lost, so disconnected, so unseen. It wasn't worth it. Saved, now all he wants to do is give back, constantly. He'll sacrifice pieces of himself over and over again if it means someone else gets the help they need. And then maybe someone will see him because of it. His sacrifices will have been worth it if someone remembers. It makes sense.

As he finishes, tears are running down her cheeks and all she can think to do is wrap her arms around him and kiss him deeply before looking into his eyes and saying in a shaky voice, "I see you, John. I see you. I see you. I see you." And the more she says it, the more it just begins to sound like I love you. She doesn't know if her feelings have exponentially grown or if she is just no longer withholding any affection, but it is what it is. Whether it is simply deep affection or if it has been deeper than she thought, it doesn't really matter, does it? All that matters is that he knows that he is seen, that he is loved, and that he matters.

"I'm so happy you're here. I'm so grateful we can have this."

[James Turner]

He was still there, still himself unlike before. Her wrapped his arms around her and held her tight as he returned the kiss. But it was her words that brought him back. He looked her in the eyes and nodded, tears stained his cheeks but it wasn't like before. Too tired to break down anymore, he just let out a long sigh and let his body relax into her arms. "Thank you." He said and then winced, shaking his head. "Not that, I don't mean...you know what I mean." He sighed, frustrated he couldn't find the words to say.


"I'm happy too." He would say he couldn't remember the last time he was happy but that would be a lie, it was a die that was permanently scarred into his memory. His last moments before he'd gotten Lost. It felt good to finally tell someone that, to talk about it with someone who hadn't been involved with it.


He didn't know what else to do or say at the moment, but he shifted and moved, grabbing a cigarette and his lighter for now. Sat forward, slumped over not panting but the same posture of someone that was just completely spent. Bringing the cigarette up to his lips to light. Remembering his breakdown during Halloween, remembering the subtle clues he'd got even then and missed. Being around her just made existing easier. "I don't know if there's anything else. Is there anything else you want to know? Does this count as our first date? What should we do for a second? Would you like to go record shopping?"

[Cassandra Reeding]

I'm happy too. She wonders when the last time was he said that and meant it. And they they shifted and she moved back to sit, give him some room to light his cigarette. She'll admit to being impressed it took him this long before reaching for it. He's exhausted. She's exhausted. Could one call this night just straight up catharsis? It certainly felt like it. She felt lighter, though she wondered what it would be like in the morning.

"There are a lot of things I want to know and thankfully, we're going to have a lot of days to talk about them," she reaches over and squeezes his knee, smiling and then takes a deep breath, trying to calm the rest of her still bubbling emotions. A wonder occurred to her then if this is what happens when Winters actually allow themselves to process emotion instead of filing it away.

"I think we can definitely call this our first date. And I certainly wouldn't mind searching around some record stores. Oh, especially if we could also hit up any used bookish like store around. Every time I'm downtown, and yes, I know I basically live downtown, I like to look around for old sheet music. It's... actually, you might be horrified at my collection of sheet music." she chuckles, because it is something she really needs to weed through. "Then perhaps after that you could come over and I could cook us something while we listen to any cool records we picked up?" It sounded like a pretty cute idea for a date. Though, would she have to think about pda? "Mm, and while my brain is there, out in public at the moment, given in this city we're not necessarily out of sight of people in the Freehold, I assume we should be careful of any romantic displays, yes?"

[James Turner]

He took a deep drag and held it for a second before slowly exhaling, closing his eyes and enjoying that first one. It was good, but it didn't quite feel as good as he remembered. It still helped though, helped the buzz of excitement concentrated in his chest loose. Holding the cigarette between his lips, he bent over and picked up his phone bobbing his head back and forth before deciding on something.


"This was a great first date then." He said, only slightly muffled by the cigarette smiling around it pointing the tip upwards a bit. He took another puff before keeping it tucked into his right hand. He had meant it, breakdown and all. "I would? How much could it be?" Weren't there only like 12 Classical songs? It was Mozart's Fifth, Beethoven's concerto, and the Nutcracker. At least that's all that ever played anywhere near him growing up.


"Sounds like a wonderful day. How about Saturday?" Then she had pointed out the obvious that had slipped by him. He hadn't given that much thought, he didn't really run in the same circles as most everyone else. He usually just saw them at the coffee shop. He frowned as that thought, he'd imagined being able to be regular people out in the world but she was right. The Cult was out too. things he should have caught. "I suppose we should." Not thrilled by the answer but it was unfortunately necessary.

[Cassandra Reeding]

"I agree. A wonderful surprise first date," she chuckles, smiling at him fondly. She considered so many ways to ask him out on a first date. Before she'd even spoken to Gerrit, she'd considered trying to catch John after they finished with the Hollow, but she'd scrapped that idea before talking to Gerrit. She thought about it again after speaking to Gerrit, and then when they got to it, scrapped it once more. She thought about just inviting him out for coffee and seeing if a friends hanging out kind of thing could turn into her actually asking him out. And then she went back and forth on whether she'd confess to feelings or whether she'd just simply ask him. This was much better. This was perfect, breakdowns and all.

She had to think about her collection of music then, "Um... well, I've got all the works of, well, a lot of composers. At least a a few thousand pieces. Some of those pieces are a page long, so, yeah. I have lots and lots of binders upon a couple of bookshelves." She pauses then, "Ar-are you much familiar with instrumental music at all?" She kind of raises her eyebrow in curiosity. Is she going to be dragging her boyfriend to her concerts? Well, she probably will be anyway...

"And, yes, Saturday sounds perfect," Second date. That just keeps ringing in her mind. "Hmm, we can make up for it when we get back to my place," she looks off to the side with a playful grin. And then another thought came to mind, "Oh, uh, and do we need to do anything for you to dream with me tonight? Or, if you're too exhausted, we could do it another night. It's been a long evening."

[James Turner]

"Actual Binders or like binder folders so you can put it on a stand?" He was unable to stop the compulsion to dig for more information. It wasn't the most thrilling of topics but it had sprung to his mind and he'd been unable to stop the thought from spilling forth. He shook his head before bringing the cigarette back up. "Christmas concert, Easter concert, summer fundraising concert. That was bout it for where I was from. So you've almost doubled the songs I'm familiar with already."


Cheeks turned gray once more at the playful teasing, immediately using the cigarette to keep his mouth shut. He cleared his throat and nodded while taking a nice long drag, "Oh, if, uh, you go home tonight we'll have to seal the pledge. Otherwise it's just proximity based. The best conduit obviously being physical touch." No those cheeks did not dim, they never got a chance to as he caught how that thought ended. I can make sure you sleep safe, then I'll take the futon? No, wait a beat, breathe. Cigarette to pause and collect.

[Cassandra Reeding]

"Oh. Actual binders. Huge ones. All laminated too. Some of them are delicate, so you don't want to be rustling them all about. They are, technically, just paper with dots on them. Dots that form some of the most beautiful music I've ever heard or played. And some that I'm really meh about, but it's nice to have them in case I gotta play them at some point." She can't imagine her talking about her collection of sheet music is actually all that enthusing. "Well, every once in a while, it might be nice to have my boyfriend at one of my concerts. I'll apologize in advance if you find it boring - instrumental music. Would make you aware of more of it though." To a degree, she really hopes he doesn't end up hating the kind of music she plays. She'd get it, but...

If I go home. Oh, that's a statement. A flush found it's way to her cheeks and the thoughts she'd had earlier - the wholesome ones - flooded through her mind for a moment. "Well, uh, I-" oh, come on. Don't be awkward about it. "I wouldn't mind staying if you want me to." Slight pause, "We don't- uh," she lets out a slow breath. Be direct. "I'm not ready for anything more sexually physical than this yet, but I have no problem with sleeping together. I'd... uh..." she purses her lips a little bit, "It's nice. Falling asleep and waking up next to someone." And it becomes addictive very fast. "But that is up to you. You don't have to be ready for that yet and you can always change your mind either way. You know my boundary, so, what's yours for now?" She gives him a reassuring smile.