Tailored Conversation

[Ram]

“Oh,” Ram said a bit surprised at her offer of work “No, I don’t know anything about carpentry. Or, you know, building stuff. I mean, I know some stuff about buildings, obviously,” this wasn’t coming out well “But that’s more because I know which support beams to take out to bring them down.” He itched the base of his horns.

“I could help with tearing down walls though,” he added clumsily. Was that what she’d been talking about? God, he felt dense.

“Fortifying the tunnels? Like into a bunker barracks? I could get behind that. Or you know, a new ‘boarding house’ or apartment complex.” He had felt firsthand the difficulty in finding a place when he first got to Sacramento. He sipped thoughtfully at his coffee and the disintegrated cookie inside. “So, it’s my experience that there are always going to be threats. You want this thing to happen. Decide on a plan, let everyone know about it, then execute it with the hopes that others will join. Otherwise it’s probably just going to be either endless meetings or waiting for meetings to happen.” He smiled encouragingly. “Then you can quilt or strong-arm people into helping when they are seeing how it’s going,” he added with a laugh.

“So, you’ve got an apartment rented as a start. What’s your end goal? What’s the rest stop like when it’s finished?” It helped to have goals. He seemed pretty excited to hear her thoughts.

“If you got the address, I’ll definitely check it out.” Ram was quite sure how to take the ‘Summer looking into it’ comment. “Uh, yeah. Helps with core, flexibility and stuff. It can be pretty tough if you’re doing certain poses.”

“I’m pretty open,” Ram said. He’d probably be more so if certain topics were taboo “So feel free to ask away.”

[Seraphina]

She had to laugh, “Well, I suppose it’s good to know which beams would do that in case you were in trouble.” But she didn’t sound worried that he wasn’t a carpenter, “And no worries, just wanted to offer in case.” Always good to offer.

“If you want! Maybe having you around will keep the other workers in line.” she could make anything work.

A nod, “I believe that was the main idea a couple years ago. Clear them out, and fortify them. That way, the Freehold had a safe spot to go in case of an emergency. Or even if we wanted a communal gathering space.” Why had it fallen apart? She couldn’t remember. “And who’s to say we couldn’t combine the two ideas, fortifying a safe place AND having space for people to stay if they needed. Would save on resources if we weren’t stretching them between multiple places.” Idea! “You make an excellent point there. Need to stop with endless meetings, setup a plan and move forward. But I would like to get all the Seasons onboard. Give everyone a voice in it, even those who come to the Freehold without a Court. Be good to make sure they felt they had a voice as well.” She wasn’t one to think less of someone because they didn’t have a Court. Laughing, happy to see him smile, “Me? Strong-arm people?” still laughing, “Maybe, I mean, I could try.” Still smiling, “Thanks.” Maybe this was the push she needed to get the other Monarchs moving too.

“End goal?” the Nix looking thoughtful for a moment, “I suppose my goal had always been to have a place for people to stay when they were in need. Supply warm bed, food and clothes if needed. Things I needed when I escaped. And when it’s finished?” a frown, she clearly hadn’t thought that far ahead, “I’m honestly not sure. I might focus on something for myself, I guess. But I’d be happier finding someone else to help, or improving on what we have.” It wasn’t about her. Never had been.

Tearing out a blank piece of paper, she writes the address for him. Her hand writing a flowing calligraphy. “Here you go.” Then a nod, “Maybe I wrote it off too soon. But flexibility helps with certain fighting styles, like Kung Fu. It’s taken me years to get the reach and height for kicking. Maybe it’ll help my training.” She was going to look into it. Her legs might be long, but that didn’t mean they were flexible.

“Would it be too personal to ask about your Court? Did you choose it, or did it choose you? I just know some know right away which Court they belong to and some, well, it takes a little time. Or that could be something you think is best kept private, which is ok.” It was just interesting to hear what brought someone to their Court. “So when you’re not taking walks and staying in shape, what else catches your attention? I know some have tv shows they cannot live without, or even a restaurant they simply have to visit at least once a week.” Humor in her voice.

[Ram]

The table started to tip as Ram put his elbows on it. He quickly lifted up, causing the surface to rapidly correct as well, making everything on the top jump half an inch. Oops

“Sounds like you have a lot of ideas. Boarding house, emergency shelter, communal area, fortified stronghold, and a space that can change when input is voiced.” He held up a finger for each. “That’s a lot,” he continued with a supporting smiling.

“And some of those things are at odds with each other. The bigger a space, the harder it is to fortify. As things get less centralized, it gets harder to coordinate relief. The more a place is lived in, the less strict and secret you can be with the coming and going of people.” He took a deep breath, pulling his mind away from thoughts of siege warfare and towards only how places were built to not only withstand such forces but be lived in as well.

“Emergency shelter and stronghold go together well. That’s where you would want to be your fallback location. Just big enough for a retreat. Heavily fortified. Enough supplies for when this go really bad. And under command of a single voice.” He looked into her eyes “Till you can get other monarchs on board, that’s be you. Might not feel comfortable but you want this thing to take off, that’s be best bet in my opinion.” He took down two craggy fingers.

“Housing and communal area would be another pair. Bigger, slightly less defensible, but more accessible. Easy to quickly evacuate if needed. If you are planning on having this be in the tunnels, might need to think of a better way of access. Something less obvious than a bunch of people going in and out of the admin offices all the time.”

“Then you have a modular area.” The houses outside the city walls that got torn down to protect the inner circles. He’d rushed across their ashes as he rammed headlong into the wall towers. Another steadying breath. “A place to set up or conduct business. Like a market or a training space.” He stratched his neck as he finished.

“At least that’s how I’d build it,” he hastily added. This was her idea after all “You’d probably want to start with the rooms and communal area. But it would be important to have an idea of the finished product so you know how you want to expand.”

He took the paper, it crumbled slightly in his fingers as he read the address, and crumpled more as he stuffed it in his pocket. “Thanks.”

His brow furrowed at her question. “No, it’s fine. I guess I’d say it chose me. I was… a lot angrier. Wasn’t used to living, you know, normally. I’m sure if I say I joined so much as Summer were the only folks that could really handle me at that point. Then afterwards, once I’d calmed some, it just sort of… fit.” He shrugged having a hard time explaining exactly what he meant and a little concerned that if he tried he might end up insulting Spring. So he turned to answering her other question.

Which turned out to be harder than he thought “I guess I don’t watch a lot of tv. Been to couple movie nights and I enjoy them. But I was away for so long… feels like I’ll never catch with all the popular stuff now so I guess I don’t put much effort into it.

“Tried to study medicine a bit. We haven’t had a medic on our patrols,” he explained “But… brought up some images I couldn’t handle right now. Just too used to being angry around blood and guts I guess.” he tried to joke.

[Seraphina]

Calmly, and with grace, she holds her cup, minimizing the spill. But seems unconcerned with it as she focuses more on what he says.

A slight frown as he pointed out the obvious, it was a lot. “Yeah, when you mention it like that, it’s a lot.” She had to agree. Was she trying to take on too much for the Freehold?

When he began to speak more, she began jotting down things in her notebook. Mainly quick phrases, harder to fortify…harder to coordinate relief. Things she had not even considered. “Wow, I have to confess, I had not thought this far in advance. They just seemed like good ideas what would benefit the Freehold, the logistics didn’t even settle.” This might be too much.

A shake of her head, “I don’t think anyone wants me in charge of something like that. It should be someone with more experience in such a thing. I just have ideas, and do plan on bringing up to the other Monarchs. Because in order for something to begin, we need everyone on board. It would be a huge task for one to take on. But get everyone on board and it will flourish.” At least, it did in her mind.

“Well, I was thinking the housing could be outside Funderland. I don’t think it would be wise to live here. Now having some beds for an emergency? That would be good. But not living quarters.” Living outside the park gave a sense of normalcy. At least, it did for her. “And you’re right, there needs to be a better way to access. One not noticeable, and one only the Freehold can use. Or maybe a few placed throughout the Freehold.” Could work.

“I remember Summer had talked about wanting to setup a private training space. There was an,” pausing, “accident in training that could have brought unwanted attention to us. So the talk was of a private training space, but I don’t think anything came of it. But it would still be a great idea.”
Smiling, “You have some wonderful ideas! Very well thought out.” She compliments.

An understanding nod as she listened, “I always find it fascinating how one comes to their Season. For everyone is seems to be different. But your story makes a lot of sense, and it seems like it was a good fit. And the anger?” a pause, “After getting out and seeing how messed up everything was? I get to a certain level. Not to diminish your own, just trying to connect.” It was how she functioned, trying to find a way to connect with someone. “But I’m glad they found you.” The Seasons sometimes saved them.

“Oh, isn’t that the truth! So much has changed in culture from movies, to music, it’s a lot to try and catch up on. No easy to do it, and I don’t think I want to spend all my time glued to a screen. What type of movies?” she was just naturally curious.

His last statement took her a few moments to process. How to reply.

“If you need a medic on your patrols, I am willing to help. And I’m not completely useless on patrols, I can fight a bit if needed.” Not the best, and not as well as a Summer, but she could throw a punch. Then her face softens, “I’m sorry, I wish I had the words to make those images go away, or to help you come to terms with them. My medicine specialty is in battle wounds, so I can’t use my training to help, but I can listen. Though I have been taking some classes in mental health.” A hand was held up, “Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with you, I’m just offering what I have.” She didn’t want to offend.

[Ram]

Ram shrugged. He didn’t really consider himself to be that much of a forward thinker. The logistics of it just… made sense. He was just used to thinking about it from the view of an invader.

He smiled a bit at her thinking no one would want her in charge. “Spring might disagree,” he said, motioning to the guilded cherry blossoms in her hair that still gave the faint impression of majesty despite not being ‘in season’. He could easily see her using her voice to become a heralding angel on a battlefield if she chose. But he didn’t push it. “So, you want everyone on board. We’ve got you as ruler of Spring. King of Fall is married to you. Circe and you are basically besties. Just leaves Courtless and Winter. And John apparently owes you for a suit, so there you go,” he said with a grin. He had a feeling she might be looking for excuses not to go forward. He didn’t say so out loud but he wanted to make sure she knew she probably already had the support she sought.

“Just remember it doesn’t need to get done all at once. Training space and emergency bunker can come later. You said you thought lodging was most important. There’s where initial focus should be.” Had to break down the first layer of defense before worrying about too much about anything else.

“Well, not exactly,” he admitted when it came to his previous attitude “It was more, anger was kind of how I had… existed… before. Constantly fighting. Constantly breaking things. Seeing everyone not on my side as the enemy.” Still occasionally had trouble with that last one.

“Classics. Princess bride.” He explained when she asked about movies.

“Not need per say,” he replied “Just nice to have one in case things go bad. We got lucky when bugs attacked us and put Cassandra to sleep, but it could have been much worse. So, if you’re willing I wouldn’t say no but don’t feel obligated. I know people are busy.”

Ram paused and seemed to consider her offer as he chewed on his lip, before seeming to come to a decision. He blew out a deep breath and held up his hands, fiery cracks crisscrossing his skin.

“I… break things. Most people look down and see a sturdy table. I see a disk of balsawood. Most people see solid walls. I see buildings made of chalk. Most people see flesh and blood.” He paused again, take a steadying breath.

“I see my fingers passing through skin and organs like they’re gelatin.”

[Seraphina]

A shrug, “I just believe there are those in the Freehold better suited for being in charge then myself. I can do it if I have to, but if there is someone more skilled, then I’d rather them step in.”
Chuckling, “Well, not married yet, but point taken. And even though we’re engaged, it doesn’t mean he always agrees and goes along with my ideas. And I don’t always go along with his ideas, we came to an understanding early on that the needs of the Freehold and our Seasons need to come first.” And she still stuck by that. “And John doesn’t owe me anything, I was more than happy to make the suit for him. So I would rather the others be on board because the idea is sound, not because of anything else.” Though maybe that was just her. She wasn’t out for power.

“This is true, things can be worked on as a matter of need and importance. I think it’s most important because not everyone is able to secure a safe place to sleep. Coming to a new Freehold can be daunting, especially if you don’t have much to your name. I arrived here with a single bag and not much else. So there being some place is important. At least I believe it is.” She still has to discuss it with the others.

A shallower nod of understanding. So it wasn’t an attitude thing, but a Durance thing. “That had to have been difficult, especially when you escaped. Trust being extremely difficult.” They already had trust issues. Add what he experienced, and it just seemed a hundred times worse.

Her face lights up, “Oh! Such a wonderful movie! One of those that you can watch again and again and still laugh at and enjoy! Do you have a favorite character or scene?” see, classics she knew.

Concern takes over her face, “Cassandra got put to sleep? I’ll have to call her and see if she’s ok.” If there was any after effects. “I’m always willing to lend my skills when needed, especially if it’s to help keep others safe. If there was a better way to communicate to those outside the Hedge, you could simply call me and I could heal from wherever I am, but,” a shrug, “the Hedge likes to be difficult. So I’m am happy to go along with you.” A nod of her head. Helping was all she wanted to do.

Sapphires take in his hands, and the fiery cracks that crisscrossed them.

Truth be told, she didn’t have an answer, and wasn’t sure the right thing to say. “We were all made into what our Keepers wanted and needed. And the way you see things isn’t wrong.” There was no right or wrong here. “Is the way you see things something you want to change? Does it cause you enough distress that you think trying to change it would be helpful? Or maybe it’s a matter of turning it into something positive.” She was trying, she really was. “I don’t have the answer, but I know there is more to you than simply someone who breaks things. It’s a part of you, but not all of you. As we’ve been talking, I’ve enjoyed how intelligent and well-spoken you are.”

[Ram]

Ram couldn’t help but laugh a bit. He hadn’t meant her to take the suit comment so seriously but it did kind of go to his theory of looking for reasons.

“Well, just remember, it’s got to go from meetings to getting something done at some point,” he grinned “But once got a spot picked out I can start carving out room space underground, or knocking down walls for a common area.”

Ram gave a slight shrug “Just got to remember who the enemy is,” he said simply like it was as easy as that. Another part of being Summer that translated well with being the army of chaos. If you couldn’t trust the guy next to you, then the battle was already lost.

“Favorite part?” he sounded a bit unsure, trying to think what had happened in the film. Even if you could watch it over and over, he’d only seen it once “I guess the Storming the gates part? That was funny. Beating a large group with good tactics. Threatening to rip arms off,” he chuckled in a way that was just a little to easy (and literal) with that suggestion.

“But yeah, Cassandra got put to sleep. Said she’d check with John for any dream poison just in case.” She hadn’t complained to him about any bad dreams and Gerrit hadn’t mentioned anything. “And I plan on bringing a cell phone next time, so we can call people as soon as we get out if anyone’s injured so I ‘ll keep your number in mind.”

Ram looked a little uncomfortable at some of her comments, giving the occasional noncommittal grunt. “I have turned it into something positive. Breaking things is a valuable skill for Summer.” And was appreciated. “And it’s not just how I see things. If I’m holding a steel pipe it might as well be made of glass. That’s not something that can change.”

He gave a heavy sigh “I know I’m more than the guy who breaks things but it is a part.” He wasn’t sure she got it.

[Seraphina]

The smile was returned with a single nod, “Thank you, very nice of you to offer your services.” And it was. But now it was seeing if the others would be on board.

Laughing, “Well, to be honest, I would yield if someone threatened to rip my arms off.” Count her out of that one.

The concern on her face was clear, “I hope there isn’t any dream poison. That stuff is nasty and can be difficult to get rid of. But I also know it takes a lot of trust to let someone into your dreams.” Sure, it could be pushed, but never should be. Should she ask Cassandra about it? Would it be weird? “Please do. It might seem odd and weird, but being able to heal and save someones life from a distance is a thing. Though I’d rather be there, but, I’ll do whatever it takes.” Truth was, she hadn’t tried healing from a different location yet. Would it feel the same?

It was clear to her that she wasn’t saying the right things. “It certainly is a valuable skill.” No denying that. “I didn’t mean it to sound like it wasn’t a part of you, an important part. Nor do I think you should change who you are. You’re right, it’s nothing that can change, but your approach to it can. Maybe this isn’t the same, but I’m trying to understand as much as I can. My voice is one of the most valuable skills I have. But I don’t like it. It was used to hurt people, but it’s part of who I am. So I’ve been working to use it for good, to use it for things I want to use it for.”

Glancing down for a moment, “Probably not the same thing. And I’m sorry, it just sounded like something that bothered you, like something you were unhappy with. And I just wanted to try and help. Maybe it’s one of those things I can’t really help with. But I can offer an ear and no judgement should you just want to vent or something.” She was trying. But this wasn’t something she had much experience with.

[Ram]

“Me too,” he said when she voice concern about dream poison “It’s probably not…” such stuff came from the Gentry and Ram didn’t think they’d have gotten away so easily if it was one of Them. Though there was still the niggling in his brain of what had happened to Ethan. “Just trying to be safe.” Maybe… “Would you… uh… are you able to detect dream poison?” he asked uncertainly. Should he ask her? If he was trying to ‘be safe’ maybe he should get himself checked. See if there was a hint that the lack of memories of the Wizened’s sudden vanishment weren’t just his imagination. And while the Autumn King may be more proficient, Ram didn’t trust the man’s view of fear. Yet Circe seemed to be friends with Sera. And if there was the chance of being infected… Ram shuddered slightly and moved on.

“Sorry,” he apologized instinctively, with a deep breath to try and relax himself “I didn’t mean to be… mean. I know you’re just trying to help.” He took another breath, trying to release the anger in non-destructive ways. How could he relate this to a Fairest. At least they got beauty.

His lip snarled slightly, but he forced another breath. That wasn’t fair. Beauty tinged by cruelty was still violence of a form. He tried again. “Have you ever held something fragile? A child or puppy?” Not a good example “Or maybe something made of delicate glass… or ice… and wanted to smash it?” Eat it? Deep breaths. “Like seeing one of those puddles barely frozen over and wanting to destroy it?” He looked again into her eyes “Like it's mirror that might lead back There and all you want to do is hear it’s voice Crack like it broke you.” His teeth were barred, and he wasn’t sure if it was a grin or a threat.

Deep breaths. He drew back suddenly and swallowed “Sorry,” he said, shamefully “I didn’t mean…” he wasn’t sure what he meant.

[Seraphina]

His question surprised her; she wasn’t expecting it from him. With a nod of her head, “I can. Getting rid of it can be tricky, but I am able to.” Was he talking about for himself? Or for Cassandra? The way he began the question, then changed it, made her wonder. “But I also know Dreams can be a private thing, and not everyone is too eager to let another into them.” Which was why Pledges were good. But she doesn’t bring that up, not knowing who he was asking for exactly. And she wasn’t going to assume.

A shake of her head, “There is nothing to be sorry for.” She tries to assure him.

But it seemed he was trying to make her understand, and she appreciated it. “A piece of glass, yes.” Then about destroying it and she pauses, thinking, “Actually, I have had those thoughts. Maybe just to see what would happen, what sound it would make, how it would make me feel.” She’d never given in to it. If it was possible for golden gilded skin to pale, hers did, eyes look down and she carefully takes a sip of her coffee. Hands tightening on the mug, “Yes.” Her voice barely a whisper. There had been fantasies of going back, finding her Keeper and making him suffer like she had. But they were fantasies, knowing she lacked the sheer power for that. But they were there, in the back of her mind, fueling her desire to get stronger.

Finally, after a few moments, sapphires look to him, “Please don’t apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for. Look, I might be a Spring, but I’m not as delicate as a flower and shielded away from the brutality of our existence. I enjoy hearing you speak about yourself, how you feel, and I like hearing it as you would tell another. Life is not all rainbows and sunshine. So please, explain things in a way that makes you comfortable, I promise I won’t break or crack from foul language or anything.” A small smirk. “But if it makes you uncomfortable,” a shrug, “then that’s fine and I’ll drop the subject.”