Fit for an Onyx Court

[James Turner]

James didn’t know why the silence was eating at him but the shift in the air he felt caused his stomach to churn and bile to rise. The storm of voices in his head became a cacophony each screaming to be heard in turn and all of it ending up as an unintelligible mess, he didn’t know why it got to him so much. He felt his grip tighten on the window frame as he took another few long drags from his cigarette. Words were said, heard, but not really recognized. He took a long, steadying breath as he finished off the cigarette.

He lifted his shoe and used the sole of it to flick out the butt before putting the smothered butt into a container and stuffing it back away in a side pocket of his backpack. He looked at Gerrit and frowned seeing the man look so sad. John took another deep breath before walking over to Gerrit and reaching out an arm; it started off swiftly but slowed as it got closer to the man to grab a hold of Gerrit’s broad shoulder and give it a comforting squeeze.

“I don’t blame you for asking questions. I don’t expect we’re always going to agree as our perspectives are different. Nothing wrong with that, it’s what makes you, you.” Fuck am I bad at this. “No offense given or taken and you can still feel free to ask me anything but the truth, at least the truth of my perspective, might not always be pleasant.”

Conversation shifted to the Pledge and it seemed Cassandra remembered it well enough, John repeated the words himself sealing the pledge on his end. She said he didn’t have anything to be sorry for, he knew she couldn’t be more wrong he had everything to be sorry for. He was a sorry creature….That thought made it click in his head. He’d been so worked up a moment ago because he didn’t want to be pitied.

[Gerrit]

Gerrit almost flinched when John reached out to him - he wouldn't have expected John to try his hand at warmth, and that was even before he became King of Sorrow. He put his own hand on the Darkling's and smiled at him. There still was that glint of hurt written all over the Ogre's face, but he wasn't good at faking his emotions at the best of times. Why does it seem like all of us are drowning in their own sadness? Is this the same for everyone or is this tied with our Season - are we just more honest or are we actually more broken?

"Yes, I'm.. I'm sorry. And thank you." John was right. There was no point in further arguing about the future - none of them knew what would and could happen.

He let go of John's hand and listened to Cassandra, then the Whisperwisp as they repeated the Pledge the three of them agreed upon almost half a year ago. Then he stood up and said the words himself, binding his fate to his fellow Courtiers once more. By now it was more like a formality than an actual security against betrayal, but the added sense of security calmed him down anyway.

"So, it seems like we've claimed a hollow and ensured the shared trust of Winter once again - good job everyone." Not much of a pep talk, but he figured every bit would help. "Shall we head home? We'll have to get a new lock for the outside door and I guess we'll have to spend a day or two just cleaning the place, but for the moment there doesn't seem to be anything we can do, is there?"

[Cassandra Reeding]

Cassandra watches as John sets his hand on Gerrit's shoulder and for a moment she is almost... Another thought to put away. It feels as if she is constantly shoving her feelings down. Shoving her thoughts down. Putting all the bad things away. When is it going to explode?

She retains her calm expression and just smiles, thankful that they at least have had the pledge sealed and everything is now getting moving. They have a Hollow now - something to work with and rebuild. They're exciting times and yet she still feels bitterly empty. Why do you always do this to yourself? Amass all kinds of feelings, shove them down, and then welcome apathy? She'd need to find a resolution to that problem later. This wasn't the time.

But she looks at John and without much thought, she says, "John, I'd like to talk soon." She blinks. Welp, that's out now. "I-if not today, then just, soon." That was vague as all hell, and Gerrit probably had assumptions immediately. It wasn't about her though. Not her feelings.

"And yes, I think getting home would be good. Don't want to put too much work together all in one day. You never know with the Hedge." She gives a faint smile and makes her way toward the door, ready to depart when they are.

@Gerrit don't forget to seal the pledge with some WP

[Gerrit]

Dang. Thanks. Bookkeeping.

[James Turner]

He gave one last squeeze before pulling his hand back along with Gerrit’s, offering the man a soft smile. John still felt cold inside, distant, pulled in another direction but he hid that all behind the careful mask he wore. This lie isn’t for my benefit, it’s to lift someone else up. I promise. Of course, but that’s how it starts dear. “As Cassandra said to me, you have nothing to be sorry for. You asked an honest question bereft of ill intent. Why would I be upset?” He WAS upset but not at Gerrit, just old thoughts and feelings that perpetually haunted him.

He shook his head in response to Gerrit’s words. “Not that I can think of, we’ve helped to establish a foothold for Winter and cement our place in the Freehold. We also have a place for our own to hide when danger lurks nearby.” That last point was the most important to him, they had a place away from prying eyes where they could simply be. Might be a tight fit if they had to pack in more Winters but they’d make do for now.

Cassandra’s words were a surprise to John but he simply gave her a nod. “Of course, anytime you’d like. Same goes for you Gerrit, like I've said Open Door and all.” John’s thoughts went to the Wards, was there a problem with them, did she find something while she was out there? What couldn’t she say around Gerrit? Guessed he would find out and that seed of wonder and curiosity inside him grew. “I think you’re both right. We have an idea, we go back and collect what we need and begin preparations in earnest.”

[Gerrit]

Gerrit didn't answer John's question, he merely shrugged. If there was no reason for any of them to be upset, why were they? At least they found what they ventured out for and Cassandra seemed to be ready to take her leap of faith - so that's going to move things forward.

Maybe.

One thing the Ogre was sure of: he was exhausted. "Thank you for the offer. It goes without saying that I'm also there for you." At first it felt like an empty phrase, but after a moment Gerrit actually felt what he said. They were friends and although they clearly struggled with some baggage, they had each other's back.
That's a high note to end their expedition if there ever was one.

Thanks for the scene!