Apologetic Exposure Therapy

[Gerrit]

Gerrit exhaled and shook his head slightly. "Thanks, but there really isn't anything you can do for me. This is my sorrow, my struggle to overcome. I think I'll manage someday."

He opened up as much as he thought he owed her, but it didn't feel right to pour out his whole heart to Yamiyo - especially since he hardly talked about all of this with the Lost he considered friends. Hearing her having accepted her struggle made the Ogre glad that he didn't go further with trying to console her. "Why don't we go beyond helping out and get to know each other? Are you interested in history or just in Santa Clause? Tell me a bit about yourself."

[Yamiyo Lillich]

Sighing a bit.
"As you wish, still the offer is open all from things to avoid to things to really not do or perfume to wear." Giggling a bit. "Even if my natural scent is pretty good already on the perfume front." Letting her mantle flare up for a second, the fresh scents more than enough that she could avoid perfume.

Suddenly holding a flower in her hand, taking a deep breath with her nose whilst smiling.
"Do you own this place or just work here? I go through quite a lot of flowers and wouldn't mind changing my business to this store especially if you deliver." Always wanting fresh flowers at home.

Placing the flower back where she had gotten it from so that she could keep signing easier.
"That is an open question what do you want to know would be easier? When it comes to Santa so am I studying folk lore at the local university and am a member of the Sigma Omicron sorority there." Thinking for a second. "I am a skilled charmer and seductress" giggling a bit "what a shocker right? A lesbian when it comes to dating and quite good at languages. I was raised in the system and lost my hearing around age 4-5." Was that a good enough start? "So how about you who is Gerrit?"

[Gerrit]

Instead of answering, Gerrit took a sip of water. He didn't know why she wouldn't accept 'I'm fine' for an answer, but he guessed the only way to break the reassuring was not to react to it any more. With her mantle flaring up, the hint of blueberry was overpowered by Yamiyo's true scent - Gerrit felt bittersweet about that.

"I just work here. It's beautiful, isn't it? You wouldn't expect to find such a cozy little shop in the city, and there are just enough customers to get by but I really like it here. It seems to posses a good amount of heart. Usually we don't deliver, but now you have someone on the inside to make exceptions." Despite the tension still left between them, he smiled at her. Remember, she means well.

"That's a great start. Folk lore sounds very interesting - how close to graduating are you? And what kind of job do you do with that? Me, I was a firefighter before- before this. It made me able to help people, I'm sure you can relate to that. Have you always been this caring?" He didn't ask questions like 'do you enjoy seducing people?' or 'have you always been a lesbian or did that change with your durance?'. He was curious, but he also realized that those were way too personal and impolite to ask. He also felt like she had no problem talking to him, so he didn't want to dig deeper about the loss of hearing. "Yeah, I remember you talking about being good at languages. What a useful talent to have."

The Ogre considered for a moment. "Well, I'm in the process of rediscovering myself a bit. I enjoy working with flowers, for one. The act of creating something beautiful is just very relaxing to me. I like to do sports, mostly jogging and climbing. As I've said, I was a firefighter once, with all of the training in first aid and stuff like that." He shrugged. Maybe it's because he had been told that nobody cared about the shit he had to say for most of his childhood, but he couldn't think of any more interesting things to say about him. "So that's the gist of Gerrit. May I ask: what made you chose to join Spring?"

[Yamiyo Lillich]

Kindly smiling towards him.
"Then we should work out some standing orders for the future, I usually spend a couple of hundred a month or so on fresh flowers. I love keeping them at home and to be surrounded by them." Looking around a bit. "It's quite lovely, sadly it always feels like there are to many scents around to truly enjoy anyone in shops though." Still they were a nice sight.

Chuckling a bit.
"Let's see I am about to finish my first semester so as for finishing, who knows 2.5-4 years maybe. We will see when I feel that there is nothing left to learn." Or enjoyments to have. "As for a job so do I already keep one on the side of my studies that I hope will earn me enough to get by for the next few decades or until I can open up my own club." Looking at some flowers. "I know the feeling of being tossed aside or overlooked all to well so I try to make sure that all those around me feel welcomed that's all." For her it was just her nature at this point. "It does help you be a part of communities you wouldn't otherwise." She didn't wanna ask or intrude, he had clearly switched careers for some reason but to dig deeper into it might open some wounds. "You have found a nice little place here, treasure it with all your heart."

"Creation is a beautiful art, to many like to destroy so it's always nice to see those who create." It truly were. "I jog quite a bit myself, this figure doesn't keep itself." Well her diet were quite strict as well and she had lost some weight these last few months. "Have you found somewhere around here to do climbing? Do you prefer mountain or wall climbing or perhaps climbing threes?" Looking towards him with genuine interest.

Softly giggling a little.
"It just fits me like a glove, isn't my very self screaming of it? Besides as a bonus so is that the only all girl team."

[Gerrit]

"Wow, that's a lot of flowers. How does a student have that kind of money left over?" She hadn't talked about a job yet, but it had to pay pretty well for that to work out. Or she was exaggerating. "Maybe I'm just used to it, but I like the density of the scent in here. It feels like a thought out whole picture - but I think I get your point."

Gerrit was actually a bit impressed with the amount of diligence and planning Yamiyo possessed. It may even show on his face. "A club? Are we talking about the dancing kind of club, so nothing to do with your studies?" Being tossed aside and forgotten made sense with the double edged blade of her kith. Then again, shouldn't she have more perspective on the dangers of flirting and seduction?

"It is. I heard somewhere that the opposite of war isn't peace, but creation. I think I also wanted to prove this to myself - I've had a lot of violence in my past and I think I'm kind of spiting Him by not indulging in destruction and violence." The words were given the kind of gravity that made the capital 'H' stand out distinctively. "I've found a pretty good hall with walls to climb for just about every skill level. I could tell you one of the next times I go there." By now he was fine with Yamiyo's appearance, if not exactly comfortable. When you took the time to look closer (hurtful as that might be) you notice that it's mostly small details reminding you of your love. Maybe, if he was more open to another fling and not as occupied with his grief he would get a more pressing sense of longing instead of sadness. Point was, he could imagine doing something together with the Fairest.

Gerrit took another look at Yamiyo when she asked if Spring wasn't the perfect fit for her. "I guess.. but see, we don't have to pick a Court that we were apparently made for. I'm not with summer, I'm not with Spring, although I guess a point could be made for either of those. I think this has been a curiosity of mine lately, how people arrive at their Court and how much of it was free will in the matter."

[Yamiyo Lillich]

Looking over the flowers.
"Didn't I say that I worked on the side as well?" Even if work had lessened a bit. "Yes the scent overall is fresh and nice but the sadness is how no single piece can shine, they all just get mixed together and not in a way that compliments the next one." Sighing a bit "Still it's impossible for that in a store but it's a shame for the flower."

Smiling.
"Were talking about the kind with dancing, alcohol, an apartment upstairs for me and people waiting in a line to get in." Perhaps not the best city for it but it could work. "Or if that doesn't work out so do I have a backup idea." Taking a calming breath "So nothing with my studies no, they are not meant for a job but for my own personal interest in the field."

Giving him a confused look.
"How is it the opposite?" She could argue and make various points here but in the end her knowledge of the fields were quite shallow. "If that is what makes you happy then do it but never do something to spite only do what makes you feel good about yourself and that you can enjoy." Him? Does he mean God or his keeper? "That sounds like a lovely evening although Sonnie is a far better climber than me." Even if she had never seen her climb.

Giving him a stern look as he said court.
"Be careful in your words there are those around who understand more than we think and whom aren't friendly." Always be careful. "It suits my personality, it suits me, I wear my heart on my sleeves and have desires a plenty, smiles and happiness is what I want to bring to those around me along with the safety for them to feel it in my presence."

[Gerrit]

Gerrit looked confused for a moment - was he that unfocused? "Yes you did, but I don't think I've caught what you do." He resisted the urge to get defensive about scents and nodded at the Fairest's musings. "I guess you have a point, but there is a time for everything - once bought, every flower has the chance to shine on its own and here it's adding to a communal effort, so to speak."

"That sounds like an ambitious project. I hope you'll be able to afford this soon. Do you already have a favourite spot in town to dance?" Not that he knew any club or bar in Sacramento. "Mind telling me what this backup idea is?" Not prying, just showing interest in her aspirations.

The Ogre just shrugged lightly. "You know, since war brings mostly destruction, creating things could be seen as the opposite. It's just semantics, I guess a point can be made that both peace and creation are an opposite of war. And it actually is what I want to do and enjoy. It's just an added benefit to know I'm not following expectations."
Huh, did she just turn him down? I guess I could ask Sonnie, but I don't want to have a skilled climbing partner, I wanted to spent time with you. He didn't say that - she had her reasons for answering that way and Gerrit assumed those reasons mostly consisted of her not wanting to do this with him. There either was too much awkwardness left between them or they didn't get to click yet.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." She was right - he felt too secure here, he didn't think about his words. But he also didn't know what to add to her response. He took a sip of water.

[Yamiyo Lillich]

Chuckling a bit.
"Don't judge me now but I am a sugar baby." It was not the best sounding thing in the world. "There you are correct and it's wonderful that people can take care of them and aid them to get to someone who will love them where they can shine." Smiling whilst looking over them all. "I don't know why but there is something with flowers that just strikes close to my heart." It always had.

"Ohh I am in no rush, my job should be able to help me generate income for at least another decade before I need to look into getting a more stable source. Still it would be good and I have no idea how much red tape there is." Nope really not her area. "I tend to frequent lesbian clubs if anything." Smiling a little. "A cute little place where you go to meet a Dominatrix."

Thinking for a moment.
"Hmm that is an angle true but dig to deep and you could say that war is the cause of advancement." Sad but true. "As long as what you do makes you feel happy, brings you a smile and fills you with pride or joy so is it all good. I hope you will be able to continue to enjoy it."

Going back to the water to drink some.
"So do I need to bring any special equipment or clothes to climb these walls or will normal workout clothes work?"

Looking around for a bit whilst nodding with a smile happy that he had understood why she spoked as she did.

[Gerrit]

He actually took a while until he connected the dots. She asked him not to judge her, but he couldn't really help it. Don't assume everyone's as burdened with their changes as you are. If one of the Lost uses his gifts for their gain and likes to use it it's not your business. He did his best not to show his hesitation when he spoke again. "Maybe it's the fragility and the beauty of a flower that speaks to you."

She was a strange one. Or maybe Gerrit was just an old prude - the topic changed from aspirations and beauty to dominatrices in a heartbeat. "Uh, oh that's interesting. I.. hope you uh, found what you're looking for then?" He really didn't know how to react to that. He caught himself trying to imagine Yamiyo in that sort of scenario, but discarded that thought quickly. "Maybe I'll open my own shop someday. Or maybe something else comes along that feels right. At the moment, I'm pretty content."

Gerrit knew he was a bit naive at times, but he couldn't agree with Yamiyo on that one. "I don't think that war is necessary for us to advance." He couldn't really reason further, so maybe it was just his stubborn pacifism speaking.

Maybe I should stop overthinking every exchange here. Easier said than done, though. The situation was tense from the beginning, so the Ogre tried extra hard not to say anything wrong or read too much into the Fairest's words. Tried.
"Just comfortable clothes that leave enough freedom of movement. They lend out everything else." He shouldn't have jumped to the conclusion that she didn't want to join him too quickly. Maybe he should stop thinking alltogether for the next hour or so.

[Yamiyo Lillich]

Clearly the Ogre did not take the words right, then again maybe he didn't fully understood what the job entailed for her. It was true though quite few people really understood and took it for more than it were but nevertheless it had given her legal money and great investment tips.
Looking over a flower with a smile.
"Perhaps but it's also the cruelty of them." Letting her smile fall to a sadder look. "We plant them only to pluck them up from the ground which gives them life, to place them in water and slowly see them die. It's sad that we crave their beauty so much that we kill them to be able to behold them for a brief period of time." And she could relate to that.

Trying her best to hold back her laughter.
"Am I hard to handle or follow?" Giggling a bit. "Don't be afraid to be yourself, I know I can be a handful and I seldom share these thoughts. Just hoped that it might help shatter any false illusions I might give of." Or shatter the image he saw a bit. "If you do so will I be your first loyal customer, provided you deliver of course."

Shaking her head.
"No it's not." Sighing a bit. "But one cannot deny that war brings advancement even if it's cruel, it could be gained in other ways of course which would be far better but to not use the advancements to save others would mean people died for nothing." Yes she left out the details but those weren't happy nor things she liked to think of.

Smiling a happy smile towards him.
"That I have, might have to look into new shoes with better grip but other than that I'm all set." Chuckling a bit. "Just don't be surprised if I fall on my behind." Flexing her muscles. "These little arms may be quick but they aren't strong."