(Private)What's the tea?

[Aurora]

A laugh as she shakes her head, “If only I was still that young. And yes, the back pains come with the territory. So three to four hours each morning hasn’t been enough?” a nod and smirk, “Ok, you might be right, maybe adding another hour or two to my workout will help.” Was she being serious? Actually yes. Though a part of her almost let him in on her secret. Almost.

“Oh, I can think of quite a few people who need team sports then. But seems like it could be fun either way.” And she was going to give it a try.

“Huh.” She says gently, chewing her lip as she thought for a moment. “I suppose if there was any fallout from us taking that thing, and what happened that day, it’s been settled.” Maybe a good thing? Could she let go of the guilt then? “What have you shifted your attention to if you don’t mind me asking.” It was no secret that Winter was private. And she respected that, but that wouldn’t stop her from trying to get to know him better. An absent nod as she listened, “He doesn’t seem angry about it. And maybe it’s the Ladder part of me, but I enjoyed having a Hierarch. But, we’ve survived without one in the past, and I don’t see that changing.” Looking at her cup for a moment, “What were your thoughts on it? Aside from losing the duel being the best thing to happen to him.”

[Winter]

"Hmpf, that's one humble brag. I say forty minutes tops", his hand goes into his pocket and it emerges with his wallet. His eyes don't leave the woman, while his fingers carefully stretch a three hundred dollar bill on the counter. "But let's put our money where our mouths are", he smirks, "Free throws, no magic. You pick the place and the time. Benjamin says you can't pull it off, feel free to prove me otherwise", he shrugs, "We can make it a team game, if you wish". Somehow, he couldn't let her go unchallenged. Golden key vs Weeping stone relations at play.
"Well, don't wake the sleeping dragon. Even though I still think about the clock from time to time. About its potential, mostly", his tone goes lower, "I've been involved with a couple of things. I don't think they're connected, even though, you know... you're a shaman. Resonance, ley lines, even unrelated phenomena may affect each other. Like that thing we recovered a few months back, Briar and Star should have the original. Abyssal stuff, might be related to the hotel from a couple years ago", God, time flows so quickly.
"The people of this Consilium don't interact much, and when they do, it's usually to answer to a challenge. In that case, they're quick to establish a hierarchy. For the matter, the experiment with official roles has largely failed. Other than Sentinel and maybe Councillors, nothing is ever needed. As for the Hierarch...", his fingers tap against the cup playfully, "Campanella doesn't seem to be the type to handle pressure very well. And frankly, I think it's fair. Your order is made of scholars, not of politicians"

Sorry for the delay. On the upside, my schedule is finally open

[Aurora]

Smirking behind her cup, “Humble brag? More like I have to do it, it’s ingrained.” She could not imagine a day without training. Even if she wasn’t performing full time, she needed that time. Her eyebrow quirks as she watches him, “You want to put money on free throws?” seriously? She was performer, not a basketball player. But she wasn’t about to back down, hell no. A single shoulder shrugs, “Sure, you got it. I don’t need magic in my shows, and I don’t need magic to make some shots.” Confidence creeping into her voice. “Nope, no teams. You made the challenge to me, so it’s just me you’re facing.” Plus, she has no idea who could make shots.

A solemn nod at the mention of the Clock, “I do as well.” It changed so much for the city and the Awakened who called it home. “It amazes me sometime how things can be connected.” That hotel thing had been a mess.

“Perhaps it’s the lack of interaction that causes such strife. I remember a time when our numbers were great, and now? We can usually count them on one two hands.” It was a stark change.

Smirking with a small chuckle, “That certainly is the case. Though I come from a political background, but I never had the heart nor the patience for it.” Nope. “I don’t think anyone would really know if they could handle such pressure without being put in that situation. Or any situation to be honest.” Her eyes shift for a moment, as she seemed to debating something. Finally, she looks back to him, “Can I ask you something? It might be a bit personal, and I wouldn’t expect or ask you to answer if you don’t want to.” Cause, just no. “Have you ever been in a situation against Seer’s where you killed them?” her tone was softer, it was clearly something that was hard for her to ask.

[Winter]

And so the real purpose behind the invitation is made manifest.
Not to say he didn't enjoy the small-talk of sports and the light-hearted tone of the conversation. Alas, there's something much more important that they needed to address. The cat was out of the bag.
He ponders his next words for a minute, his expression softer but focused.
Aurora is probably not aware of it, or she's feigning ignorance, but every Guardian needs to kill or be ready to at least once for the Order, no exceptions.
Wisdom - other's - obtained through pain.
Honesty is a much maligned and misplaced virtue for a Guardian. Often lethal.
But sometimes something valuable can be gained by disseminating hints of truth here and there.
"Yeah, I did", is his stoic reply. The tone is lower, but direct. "Not something I enjoy. Violence I mean. But I was in the Army, so I was already prepared"

[Aurora]

She thinks about what he said, the weight of his words. Her sin of murder hanged heavy on her soul.

“I remember how well you handled the situation in the hotel, calm and in control. To be honest, I was a little envious of that.” How in control he was, making the right calls.

Taking a careful sip, allowing herself some time to think of her words, “How did you deal with aftermath? The stain it leaves on your soul, the nightmares and regrets.” Her own words laced with pain, her eyes not meeting his. Finally, she looks at him, “Does it go away?”

[Winter]

He closes his eyes and shakes his head.
Sure, he could lie, but it would just serve to trivialize Aurora's experience, with nothing being gained from it.
The problem here, is that the Orders worked the way they worked, exactly to avoid this kind of issue. Master of Life or not, she shouldn't have been the one to strike the finishing blow.
"Here", he says pouring her another cup, "the thing is. It doesn't get any easier, and if it did, then you'd have a bigger problem. Because it meant you were getting inured to murder. But believe it or not, killing - unless you're a psychopath - is supposed to come with baggage, even when the ends justify the means", he chugs the wine in one go, "and so, since you're hurting, then it means your heart is in the right place, doing good is never easy".
Of course, just sins were justified in light of their collective goal. But here was a catch, if Wisdom was a collective virtue, then a Guardian's sin would have uplifted another Mage's soul. There was no need for others to get their hands dirty, that's it, unless it wasn't avoidable. Was it such instance? He couldn't tell.

"The stain - once you make peace with it - will go away. You'll still experience regret, the nightmares. But the human mind is a strange device. We tend to rationalize, therapy or just talking with a friend can work wonders. Though, let me ask you. Are you really sure you ended up killing your target?"

[Aurora]

She accepts the glass, taking a long sip as she listened.

Absently, she nodded, “It was them or us. I couldn’t lose another friend to them; they’ve taken too much already.” Not that it justified it, at least, not to her. “Between you and I, there was a rush, seeing years of hard work in action. But I lost sight of what was important, and acted without really thinking about it.” Why didn’t she think more?! “So what I’ve been going through is normal? The guilt, replaying it over and over wondering if there was a different way? Well, as normal as this sort of thing can be.” She added with a lopsided smile.

“That’s what I was hoping, that talking with someone I trust, will help me work though it. It’s actually the reason I took off, I couldn’t stand the guilt.” The feeling of not belonging or deserving any of them. “Well, I know three of them died, I watched it happen, as did Phoenyx. No way they lived, going from humans to fish was a,” pause, “difficult thing to see happen. One attempted to escape through a portal, and I don’t know if he lived or not. If he did, he found a Life Master to keep him alive somehow.” The way the other three exploded into blood and whatever else, no way they lived. “But I figured if he did live, I would have heard about it by now, or someone in the city would have.” No one was going to let three of their friends exploding into fish death go by.

“I think I just want to make peace with it. I know I lost a piece of myself after that, a part I will never get back.” There was a sigh, “I don’t know, it’s just messed my head up.” And another sip of the wine was taken. Because drinking helped everything.

[Winter]

By now, it dawned upon him the realization that asking whether Aurora was ok fishing, in light of the Seer fishification accident, wasn't exactly a Galaxy Brain move.
Though, the thought is soon banished to the farthest recess of his mind.
"There are ways to regain what was lost. It won't erase the guilt, and it's good you're feeling it, but it will help you better understand yourself and how to avoid a repeat. Meditation is a sort of advanced coping mechanism, to put the demons to sleep, so to speak", he lift his glass until touches Aurora's, "To what was lost, cheers"
To innocence Lost and regained.
The good thing is that they can drink to their heart's content. She's a Master of Life and drunk driving ain't going to be a problem for him, he lives close enough that he won't have to drive.

[Aurora]

“Phoenyx has taught me meditation, and it has helped some. And I don’t think there will be a repeat,” a bitter chuckle, “I’m more aware now. More aware of what happens when I act in the heat of the moment and don’t think. It should have been a last resort action, not my first.” She knew she had been wrong. “But the thought of getting back out in the field so to speak has been hard. I’m afraid of being in that situation again.” Afraid of what she was capable of doing.

A small smile as their glasses touch, “Cheers.” Did she feel better? Not really. But Winter had given her some advice, and his words were wise. "And hey, now I have a basketball challenge to look forward to."

[Winter]

He nods, "if you're always comfortable you can't expect to grow. Even though, you shouldn't put yourself into the front-lines. The Arrow is there for a reason"
"you're going to lose that game", he adds in a serious tone.